lowkey band au zombabes and francillie and penstripes. fantasizing about my band au yuri.
you guys know my francillie band au bullshit but ill keep thinkign abt them forever,, imagining that point of time when bille finally finds out what band frances is in and what theyre trying to do to bigtop (see: this post) and billie's so fucking over it that she just drops frances as fast as she possibly could. loud tear filled "YOU FUCKING USED ME" "THAT WASNT MY INTENTION. I STILL LOVE YOU." "GO TO HELL FRANCES" type argument in a parking lot that ends with billie getting into a car and just driving off. and frances stares at the car because lowkey she cant drive and came with billie and has to call conrad and allen in tears like "i just fucked up. i fucked up bad. shes never gonna talk to me again. please come pick me up".
and billie just goes straight to steve and tim and penny and starts ranting to them about how fucking mad she is and how they have to crush those fucking zombies in their battle of the bands. she usually doesnt even care about the rivalry but she can't let this go. and her bandmates look at each other, and then penny puts her hand on billies shoulder and goes "hey. its okay. you can feel sad about this." and that just does it for billie. shes never claimed to be much of a crier but she just breaks down and sobs into penny's shoulder and babbling about how she just wished she and frances werent in this situation because she loves frances and didnt want things to turn out that way. uses steves shirt like a tissue. he doesnt mind.
and when they finally stare at each other across stages, frances on her bass and billie at her drumset, billie's got a steeled expression and refuses to look away. and its taking all that frances has to not burst into tears and cry.
band au penstripes (and maybe minor caldg/penny) where ldg is now kind of very jobless after the dramatic fall of cabinet records and is now stuck living with caligari as he tries to figure out his next course of action. and so shes job hunting and using the last of her savings to buy groceries and sees penny and her daughter as theyre shopping and all ldg feels is misery. she had so much, was at the peak of her career, and it all came crashing down. and heres this woman, this kind eyed lady who was part of the band that ldg effectively threw her career away to ruin. so she kind of tries to hide from her in the most inconspicuous way possible while doing her groceries except she drops a bottle of wine (which was supposed to be a little treat for herself after dinner. after all shes been through.) and it just shatters all over the floor with the loudest sound ever and penny's little Melody, who is just the politest girl ever, asks ldg if shes okay. and penny's staring at her from the other end of the aisle. and ldg has her head in her hands while the store staff mop up the broken glass and spilt wine like oh my god. kill her now.
and before she can even blink, ldgs sitting across from penny at this cafe while melody fucks up a sugary drink and a cookie and penny's way too nice. like ldg is actively feeling like a worse person just by sitting here and staring at penny because shes such a nice person and ldg wanted to dismantle her band. and its insane that penny seems fine with this. almost too cordial. penny makes small talk, asking how shes been what shes been up to, and ldg vaguely mentions how shes job hunting and living with caligari and then she stops herself because it honestly just makes her sound like shes fishing for sympathy, which she kind of is, but then she also mentioned the guy that penny probably hates like he was a good friend and. penny just smiles warmly, asks her if she wants to come over for dinner and they can talk and ldg just stupidly asks if she can bring caligari along, lily dolores garcia get a fucking grip. penny says yes. and the moment penny leaves, ldg is frantically texting "SO I MIGHTVE DONE SOMETHING" to caligari who at the moment was calculating his assets when he turns and sees his half-employee-half-situationship freaking out in his phone and he goes "well. i fucking guess."
and i imagine that penny's not usually that big of a freak but imagine theres this hot lady and shes showing up at your house destitute and kind of down on her luck and she wants you bad but also feels a colossal amount of guilt towards you and she brings another guy who you're pretty sure is like her fuck buddy boyfriend and lowkey he wasn't really all that interested but then you guys talked for like maybe a minute and now he's kind of desperately wingmanning his bisexual disaster of a girlfriend because their taste is pretty much exactly the same. band au turned my bigtop yuri into an evil middle aged throuple where its really just a couple and a guy they occasionally bring in.
band au zombabes is like 100% sexual tension 200% arguing over creative differences while actively ripping each others clothes off in a broom closet. i imagine frances doesnt actually meet ldg as their band manager until like theres this mandatory networking party that caligari has gracefully invited zombies to and theyre mostly hanging out together but then frances sees this gorgeous office siren type near the bar in a low cut dress that hugs her body just right and allen dares her to get that womans number at the strangely passionate behest of cesare and frances is like oh. bet. so she walks right over, starts trying to chat her up and the woman is NOT having it. she's not exactly turning frances down but shes giving the tell-tale signs of someone who would rather kill herself. and frances doesnt want to return to allen a loser so she just goes "okay look, ill back off but i kind of have this bet going and if i could just get your number" and the woman goes "frances, right? from zombies? if i recall correctly, you should already have my number." holds her hand out for a handshake. "i am LDG. your band manager."
well frances was half expecting the manager for zombies to be this older woman and just the abbreviated name makes her sound like she was bred in a lab to love rock and roll. not. like. a woman her age, maybe a little older, looks like music pisses her off. frances is sputtering and a fucking mess, and cesare has to walk over and apologize and drag her back before loudly whispering "this is why i didnt want you to fucking talk to her" but its too late and frances has been fucking struck. shes going to ragebait the fuck out of that manager until theyre tied up in a dressing room with swollen lips.
it probably doesnt help that ldg really does not like the music that ZOMBIES! makes? so when frances is doing her annoying 11/8 time signitures and ldg is sitting there imagining strangling her because it sounds like nails on a chalkboard to her specifically but she doesnt wanna say anything because god dammit, it sells. but frances wants her so say something about it because she lowkey wants to get put in her place about it. so she'll do increasingly annoying and complicated riffs until ldg finally snaps and tells her to keep it simple, which 100% starts a loud heated and kind of tense argument about "creative differences" in the practice room until cesare yells at them to get out and cool off. so obviously the moment ldg and frances leave the room... frances drags her into the nearest empty room and they have an insane angry make out session.
and for my final paragraphs ill ruminate on polyculisms.
a frances/ldg/penny polycule is my current favourite, where frances is trying to flirt with penny but then ldg interrupts and frances short circuits because oh my god!! my ex-manager who i want bad is dating this gorgeous milf. how do i get them to make me their third. and pennys seeing this like oh my god my girlfriend and this cute bassist have insane chemistry. so she starts wingmanning them together. and frances gets two hot girlfriends. greedy ass.
