Okay so it’s 11pm where I am right now and I’ve just had this amazing idea
okay so it’s 2025 it’s her second year on the grid, and she’s has her period and that gives her the idea of making everyone try the period simulator (half the guys can’t get passed 6 or 7) 😝 and she just straight up bullies them except for Kimi and Ollie cause we love them
🩸 “IF I SUFFER, YOU ALL SUFFER”
Genre: Crack, humor, found family, mild bullying (deserved), period solidarity
Pairing: Platonic! 2025 F1 Grid x Driver!Reader
Warnings: Men humbled. Ego damage. Period cramps. Kimi Antonelli and Ollie Bearman being God’s favorites.
A/N: Second year on the grid and Y/N chooses violence ❤️
No one ever suspects anything when it starts.
Not the engineers.
Not the drivers.
Not even your own race engineer, who thinks your unusually calm tone on the radio means you’re “locked in.”
In reality?
You’re on day one of your period, your lower back is on fire, your uterus has beef with you personally, and the only thing keeping you sane is the thought that you are not suffering alone today.
Because if you have to drive a 1,000-horsepower car at 300 km/h while bleeding?
So can they.
✦ THE IDEA (ORIGIN STORY)
It happens during media day.
You’re sitting in the drivers’ lounge, hoodie pulled tight, heat pack hidden like contraband, sipping tea like a Victorian child with consumption.
Lando is complaining about simulator fatigue.
“Man, my core is wrecked.”
You look up slowly.
Slowly.
Dangerously.
“Oh yeah?”
George nods sympathetically.
“Those sims are brutal.”
You blink.
Once.
Twice.
And then you smile.
That’s when Alex mutters:
“Why do I feel like we should all start apologizing.”
✦ ENTER: THE PERIOD SIMULATOR
Somehow — and no one is entirely sure how — you convince the PR team this is “educational content.”
By Friday afternoon, there is:
A period pain simulator machine
A row of chairs
A sign written in Sharpie that says:
“WELCOME TO HELL. POPULATION: YOU.”
You stand there like a game show host.
“Gentlemen. Today, you will be experiencing what I am driving through.”
Kimi is already sitting down, sleeves rolled.
“I volunteer.”
You pat his shoulder.
“I knew you were raised right.”
Ollie gives a thumbs-up.
“Let’s get it over with.”
Kings. Both of them.
✦ ROUND ONE: THE FALL OF MAN
🟥 LANDO — OUT AT LEVEL 5
Confident. Smug. Smiling.
“I’ve got abs, I’ll be fine.”
You crank it up to level 4.
He flinches.
Level 5.
He yelps.
“WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE THAT?”
You sip your tea.
“Because God is a woman.”
Level 6.
He taps out.
“TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF—”
You clap.
“Congratulations! You lasted HALF of a warm-up lap.”
Oscar is crying laughing on the floor.
🟥 MAX — OUT AT LEVEL 6 (ANGRILY)
Max sits down like he’s about to fight the machine.
Rating the Kn8 Men on how they would handle a Period simulator.
The simulator goes from 0 to 10, 10 being the equivalent of giving umedicated birth. They are sitting down for the point of the exercise.
Kafka: (8) Was crying the whole time and fell out of the chair but toughened it out just to say he reached level 8. (ya know, cuz he's kn8)
Haruichi: (7) No one knows how he got this far without falling out of the chair, but he did. He says he attributes his high pain tolerance to his feminist mother, but he did demand to be carried out of the chair. Honestly... that might also be because of his feminist mother.
Aoi: (6) Pure fear from watching the other two made him want to tap out at 2, but was encouraged to keep going. Made it to 6 before he couldn't stand how it was making his legs feel.
Hoshina: (5) He genuinely thought he was going to get farther, like at least 8 like Kafka because of all the shit he went through in the field, but the second he felt what the simulator did to his abs he wanted NONE of it. Proceeded to buy Mina a pint of chocolate ice cream.
Iharu and Reno: (4) Both of them put it on and, of course, Iharu had to make a competition out of it. They both tried to last... up until they hit level four and looked at each other in mutual agreement to tap out at the same time. (and held onto that agreement surprisingly.)
Narumi: (1) Absolute bitch ass couldn't make it past level one. Immediately ran off to cry into a tub of ice cream.
I want to try one of those period pain simulators SO badly. I need to know how my level of cramp pain compares to the level described as "average" by the other women who have tried it. It has been suggested to me multiple times that I have some sort of reproductive disorder and knowing whether my cramps are above average or whether my pain tolerance is just below average would be invaluable information to bring to a doctor!! Plus I just wanna know!!!!
So TikTok resulted in me having decided to do a period simulator writing with several of the guys.
I only did it for the Holland/Osterfield ones as I’ve not gotten any responses for the other people yet. But if you want their versions, let me know.
Also if you want a pregnancy simulator version as like a pt 2, please inform me!
Warnings: pain, stupid boys, fluff, a few curses, etc.
Tom Holland:
“And this is supposed to be what you feel every day?” Tom asks, lifting his shirt so his girlfriend y/n can apply his the simulator connection patches to his skin.
“Well everyday I’m on or around my period, yes” y/n giggles, firmly securing the patches.
“Mate, my sister has called out of school for this, why are you doing that?” Harrison laughs, shaking his head as his mate gets more and more electrodes stuck to him.
“‘m just curious” Tom shrugs.
Haz shakes his head and leans back in his seat as he waits.
“Okay Tommy this is level 1 which isn’t really much. I don’t even feel it when I tried it” Y/n says, turning the device on.
“What level are you normally?” Tom asks, flinching slightly as the simulator starts contracting his muscles.
“Usually? I’m a 8 or 9. Sometimes a 10 but I usually take meds if it get there” y/n shrugs.
“How high does it go?” Harrison questions.
“A 10” y/n answers, turning the device up a level.
“A-and you go all the way to that?!” Tom asks, his breath hitching when the device increases the pressure.
Y/n hums, turning to ensure the camera is recording. His fans, and mum, are going to love this.
“Alright babe, you’re doing well. A bit quiet but are you ready for the next level?” She asks.
Tom nods and forces a soft yes.
Y/n bites her lip to keep from laughing at how he’s still so low and already struggling.
A few levels later and Tom is sweating, his hands running through his hair and down his face in frustration.
“Do you want to stop?” Y/n asks gently.
“He can’t stop!” Haz argues.
Y/n glares at Harrison before facing Tom, “you can stop”.
Tom groans but shakes his head no.
“Alright a few more to go then” y/n says.
Y/n bites her lip as she debates stopping even though Tom doesn’t want to give up.
He’s sweating as if he just did a workout for a new Spider-Man film. His sleeves bunched up in his fists at his side.
“Fu-fuck. How do you do this?” Tom groans after agreeing to go up another level.
“You’re at a 9 now T. We can stop” she says.
“N-n-no. You said you get 10s, I want to know what that’s like” he argues.
“Tom, you don’t” she begins to protest but Tom just shakes his head.
Y/n sighs and presses the button to increase the level one last time.
Tom grunts and places his hands on the chair in front of him as he tries to bare the pain.
“T-th-this” Tom mumbles through his clenched jaw.
Having had enough of his stubbornness, y/n shuts the device off and steps up to him to remove the cords.
Tom’s clammy hand grabs one of hers and squeezes, “darling you deal with that each time?”.
Y/n stifles a laugh and nods as she turns to stop the recording.
Tom let’s out an exacerbated sigh, “whenever you’re on your period again I’m giving you a daily massage and warm bath”.
Y/n blushes and kisses his cheek before wrapping her arms around her stubborn yet sweet boyfriend.
Harry Holland
“Alright Baz, shut up and stop messing with the cords” y/n complains.
“Yeah, are you scared?” Tuwaine teases.
“No” Harry defends quickly.
Y/n laughs and starts the device upon securing the adhesive stickers.
“I can feel it but it isn’t bad” Baz shrugs.
“It is only at a one Harry, give it a minute” y/n smirks, eagerly waiting for her boyfriend to regret having said she was exaggerating her discomfort today.
“Go up then” he laughs.
“You don’t want to take it slow?” Y/n asks, a knowing look on her face.
Ignoring her nonverbal warning, he shakes his head.
“You said today was a 7? Let’s start there” he suggests.
“Alright” she says, shaking her head as she plugs in numerical value for the level.
“Holy crap” Harry says, his voice somehow managing to deepen.
Y/n smirks and crossed her arms over her chest in defiance.
“Was I exaggerating?” Y/n asks.
Baz hangs his head and shakes his head no, “‘m sorry love”.
“That’s what I thought” y/n smirks, turning it off. “Now you owe me tea”.
Harry rubs his lower abdomen and takes a swig of his beer before heading to the kitchen, feeling guilty for doubting y/n. He certainly won’t make that mistake again.
———-
Sam Holland
“I mean you know I’m willing to cook us dinner love, you didn’t need to pull the whole period card” Sam teases, setting up the kitchen workspace.
“Period card?” Y/n asks, turning to look at Sam’s mum Nikki who was already looking at her.
“Yeah, you know. The thing girls do to get guys to do things for them” Sam explains, setting out his dishes.
“Excuse me? I simply said my cramps are making it hard to move so I’d rather use the heat pad than try to cook right now” y/n argues, her hands on her hips.
Nikki shakes her head at her son’s ignorance.
“And it’s fine love, I don’t mind. I’m just saying you didn’t have to make up it being hard to stand right now” he says, kissing her cheek.
It’s clear to y/n and Nikki both he doesn’t mean anything bad by it, instead just assuring her even if she just didn’t want to cook that he would.
However, y/n feels she needs to set the record straight for him.
“I wasn’t making that up” y/n sighs, “in fact! Remember how the other day Baz’s girlfriend had to show him what it felt like?”
Sam nods and raises his eyebrow in question.
“Well, she left the thing here because she said, and I quote, ‘they’re twins so you’ll probably need this for your Div of a boyfriend too’. Seems she was right” y/n says, dragging Sam away from the stove.
“Do we really need to do this?” He asks, looking at his mum for help.
Nikki just smirks and nods as she helps hand y/n the tools.
“But I’m trying to cook us all dinner” Sam argues.
“If you’re thinking I made it up, why are you resisting so much?” Y/n laughs.
“Fine, just start then, I’ll cook with it on” he says.
“I’ll start you off with what I feel the week leading up to it” y/n says, starting the device as Sam begins to stir the pasta.
Sam mumbles a curse word under his breath as his hand grips the spoon tighter.
“Alright fine, this is uncomfortable. I wasn’t doubting you were in pain love, just that it was possible to still cook” he defends.
“Mm, Sam this is where I’m currently at” she says, increasing the dial.
“Oh bloody hell” Sam groans, his arm pushing downwards to hold his stomach sigh so much force it knocks the pot over.
“Shit, l-love watch out” Sam yells, moving to get y/n out of the way.
Y/n shuffles with him and turns off the period simulator.
“Did we set the record straight?” Y/n laughs.
“Mmmhmm, crystal clear. I’ll make whatever you want to eat whenever you want to eat it without a word” Sam says, kissing her cheek.
“Watch your language in front of the poor girl Sam. Although, the bloody hell part was rather ironic” Nikki teases.
Harrison Osterfield
“Mate I gotta film that” Tom complains as Harrison teasingly shoved the camera away.
“I’m not doing this for you Div” Harrison clarifies as he watches y/n apply the electrodes to his skin.
Harrison’s girlfriend y/n has been having a particularly rough period this month and Harrison has been doing everything he can to help her.
Y/n has been so appreciative of how Haz would run to the store immediately after work to bring home chocolate if she ate it all the night my before, keeping her heating pad warm for her, cuddling on the couch, buying her more feminine products when it randomly hit, etc.
Upon seeing her frowning to herself earlier that morning, Harrison asked what was wrong.
He quickly learned she felt bad that he was taking such good care of her when she was sure that to him it seemed like she was fine.
Harrison had argued he knew she was in pain and even if she hadn’t been that he would’ve still taken care of her.
However, he noticed she acknowledged this but didn’t seem to truly believe it.
When talking with a coworker about it, his coworker joked about how lucky Haz was that y/n didn’t force him to try something called a period simulator.
Harrison immediately began his research into this item and located the nearest store that had one in stock, leaving in his lunch to pick it up.
Upon arriving home, he told Tom the plan and they got it set up as they awaited y/n returning from work.
Harrison knew it was going to suck but he wanted to know what it was exactly his precious girl had been dealing with.
Tom, however, just wanted to record his pain for his own enjoyment.
“Yeah, yeah. But-“ Tom began until the boys heard the door creek open.
“Hazzy?” Y/N’s soft voice called out, walking towards where the boys were.
“In here love” Haz called, his chest clenching at how weak she sounded.
She’s always had rough cycles, but this one had really been hard on her. Or, maybe she was just now comfortable telling him about it.
Either way, he was going to gain full understanding; whatever the cost.
“What’s going on?” Y/n asks, setting her purse down and walking until her hands were settled on his bare chest.
“I found a period simulator, I’m going to try it” Harrison said, pulling her in for a quick kiss.
“Harrison! You do not need to do this” she assured him.
He nods, “I know. But I want to know first hand what you’re feeling. Well, as much as I can. This is how to do that”.
Y/n sighs and strokes his face tenderly, “are you sure?” .
Haz smiles at her and nods, “yeah, as long as they’re legit”.
Y/n softly chuckles, “they are. Charlotte and I drunkenly tried one at girls night a few months ago”.
Haz shakes his head and laughs with her, “only you and my sister would do that”.
“Alright, so I want to set it at your number, what number are you?” Haz asks.
Y/n steps back to see the machine and see how high it goes.
“Is it like based off the number in the box of pads?” He asks upon not hearing an answer.
Y/n blushes and shakes her head, “no babe. That is the level of flow”.
“Gross” Tom groans.
“Shut it mate, it’s natural Div” Harrison defends.
“You’re precious Haz. Alright, so this looks like the same one Char and I used” y/n says as she hovers her finger over the button for her level.
“Are you sure about this?” Y/n asks hesitantly.
Haz nods and smiles sweetly at her.
Y/n squints her eyes knowing he’s not going to be smiling much longer as she reluctantly presses her level.
Harrison sucks in a need breath as his eyes widen.
“Breathe baby, and I can stop it at any time” y/n says, grabbing his hand.
“How long do they last?” He asks.
“It depends, it can be awhile. But you’re not doing it that long” she exclaims.
“But-“ Haz argues, his eyes squeezing shut as the machine beeps that it has finally reached her level
“Nope” y/n says, squeezing his hand for comfort. “You’ve done more than enough” she says.
Harrison isn’t able to make a retort as he holds his breath in anguish.
“Shut it off” y/n says over her shoulder to Tom, who took the machine from her.
After Haz’s chest shakes a bit with his unsteady breath, y/n turns to glare at Tom.
“I said shut it off. Now” she demands, and Tom quickly turns it off.
Haz slumps his shoulders as his head rests on y/n.
“Come on angel” y/n says, unhooking Harrison from the machine, “let’s get you some icecream and advil”.
“Periods suck” Harrison says timidly as he walks hand-in-hand with y/n to the kitchen.
———-
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