#personal!triggers

[spectral-perfection]

"Hey, I love you <3" ~"Lie to me, please."~ She doesn't say the words aloud, but that's how my brain interprets it and it's fucked up, yes, but I can't help all the lies that roll off my tongue, can't help but play her, because playing with my game pieces is what I do best. and so, I smile and I reply all too happily "Hey, I love you too <3 (:"

[star-kissed-seoul]

I flick the wheel of the lighter, press down on the red button, and watch a flame burst to life, igniting the cigarette, held tightly between my lips, with ease.

Let go of the lighter. Inhale the rush of nicotine. Blow out smoke. Watch the smoke curl and expand around me. Mm, typical routine.

"You should stop that, ya know." she tells me. I shrug and take another drag, releasing perfect wisps of smoke from my lungs. I stay quiet.

Don't wanna. 

She wrinkles her nose at my lack of response and from the corner of my eye, I watch her mouth pull downwards into a frown. 

"It's gross." she begins to lecture again, turning her attention to something more worthy; the dark, overcast sky.

Then don't stay. Go.

I tap the building ash off of my cigarette before resuming the process. My lips twist into a wry smirk as she looks back over at me.

"Y-You're just killing yourself." she tells me, her voice is quieter than before. I take the final breath out of the cigarette before throwing it down and putting it out under my shoe. She looks relieved until I stand up and take another one out of the carton, walking away as I light it up, repeating the routine.

I know.