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Carry On, I spent my art time tonight catching up my website and just overall website sprucing for the holidays. This piece really captured how I felt like I was slogging along. 😂
@sakuraofamerica Micron and Black Star Ink on @speedball_art Fluid Hot Press Paper
Paint-Thinner!Sans unloads his personal baggage...
This was a RP between me and my good friend @insomniarps, she is an amazing artist, please go check out her drawing blog and her rp blog, anywho, i’ll get to the big thing, thinner decides to tell shadow the rest of his past, plz enjoy~! ^-^
(shadow and thinner go to grillby’s after thinner had battled Bete noir...)
Paint-Thinner!sans: I've already died once protecting people I care about....., If I tell you this, promise me you'll keep it to yourself
Shadow: "You have my word." He said honestly, looking at him in the eyes as he gave him his word.
thinner: (looked at him with some emotion, seems its coming back) well you know already i wasnt always like this, i used to be just like ink (gets annoyed) just smaller...., well during my studies of the blooming aus sprouting around the idea-verse, i accidently found myself in the void, and found a gaster, sans, and papyrus sitting togethor...
Shadow: He listened, nodding silently.
Paint-Thinner!Sans: well, as we talked, i found out sans and papyrus went to the void to avoid the resets and the human, it was mostly sans' idea obviously, that when i first wanted to help people who have been affected by genocide, papy and gasty wanted to co- (covered his mouth realizing he said there nicknames)
Shadow: "Don't worry, I won't pry." He said simply as he waited for the other to continue.
Paint-Thinner!Sans: (continues) gaster and papyrus wanted to come, but sans was extremely apprehensive...it took alot of argueing from gaster for him to come too, we.... lived happily in the idea-verse, ink was hesitant at first, afraid it would disrupt the multiverse order, typical... b-but, he grew into it after awhile.....but...... then error!sans popped up....
Shadow: "mmm, I've encountered him once..." He stated, his tone suggested he wasn't fond of him.
Paint-Thinner!Sans: ....... (covered his mouth) he killed them in front of my eyes.....
shadow: He rubbed his back. "I know that feeling... Agni... It killed them right in front of me..... That whole war was started over me, I blame myself constantly for it too..."
Paint-Thinner!Sans: i felt nothing but hatred and anger for that worthless..... (clenches his fist) there was a potion i found in the idea verse, it was a curse created by the grand master, granting immortality at a price, i disregarded ink's warnings and took it, i drank it, granting me the power of the thinner, i didnt care anymore at the point, I JUST WANTED HIM DEAD!! (punches the bar)
Shadow: "Woah, no need to get animated." He gently placed his hand on his shoulder. "Trust me, I want that thing dead and I aim to kill it myself... But I want you to know something; immortality is more of a curse than anything. I have died four times throughout my life, and I know there are more to come. It may aid you in your goal, but what after?"
Paint-Thinner!Sans: like I said, I wasn't thinking when I drank that potion, it tasted like pennies, and my soul felt different, but.... I just wanted vengence...., Its all I could think of, how could he live with himself knowing he took 3 innocent lives when they didn't do anything to him (starts to cry again) I didn't even get to say good bye...."sniff"
Shadow: "I know... He's a fool, he believes those people shouldn't exist, that au's shouldn't. That there should be only one universe but it's impossible to destroy something as infinite as the multiverse. A single decision could make thousands of different realities." He shook his head. "One day he will face the consequences for his actions though, no one is beyond consequences."
Paint-Thinner!Sans: I went and faced him, the potion gave me slight regeneration, but each time ..my soul felt like it was dieing, he caught me off guard and shatterd my legs and arms, I was left shivering in the corner, sobbing, I called out for ink's help ....but nobody came...., This error was special, his finger tips we're like Tesla coils, they could create spark of electricity, he...... Grabbed my head and electricuted me, I felt dead but my soul wasn't shattered..... , Then he laughed and said "now you can join your friends in hell" (grabs his head again) I started melting till I was just a puddle of liquid bone and thinner and- (he starts hyperventilating)
Shadow: "Hey, hey, it's okay, you're okay.." He said as he pulled the other into a warm embrace.
Paint-Thinner!Sans: (grabs him for a sense of protection, and starts to calm down, was sobbing) "pant pant" i was conscious for a long time, I saw ink find me, and cry, he left me too, then an undyne and papyrus walked by me like i wasn't there, stepping in me, I can- I can still feel his boot stepping on me...
Shadow: He felt warm, comfortably warm. "But you're okay now, and you have people that care a lot about you. And as long as I'm still here, I ain't letting that happen to you again. So if you need my help ever, don't hesitate to call me you hear?"
Paint-Thinner!Sans: t-thank you shadow...., As for how I'm here now... It wasn't until a long time after that, that I figured out how to form a body, It was really hard picking myself up, but.... I was determined to not stay there anymore.... (Whipes his eyes with the palm his hand) when I got back to the idea-verse, I found out the hard way that the curse not only affected me, I caused the whole universe to change..... Maybe cause I was born from the ink and paint that resides there....
Shadow: He nodded. "Anytime." He then listened to the other finish in silence.
Paint-Thinner!Sans: after recooperating in the universe I now called the thinner-verse, i went to find ink, and found out he....... he had moved on, he didnt come to save me, and how he forgot about me so quickly, he forgot about me, i felt so betrayed i attacked him, then he looked at me with those sad and shocked eyes..... i ran away, and the rest is history..... you pretty much know the rest.... thank you for listening shads... (smiles)
END
Admitting that you're a toxic person isn't easy, and neither is trying to curb your toxic tendencies.
I'm a toxic person and I want to change. I want to bring kindness and peace instead of heartbreak and drama.
I no longer want to hurt those I love just because I'm hurting.
Here's to healing my heavy heart and becoming the person I know I can be
Old Hawk Hudson Boy
it's really hard to get out of the "prey on or be preyed upon" mindset.
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character development is realising that cringe culture was the thing that completely obliterated your self-worth and self-esteem when you were younger
