Five days ago – I received an anonymous question on here?
“What does Coelho say an ordinary person feels when they realize their personal calling?”
Whoever you are – I hope I didn’t scare you off (I’ve been known to do that). Just a matter of minutes after I read your question – I received sad news (and if you are still reading, you already know what that is). That triggered a deep wound of mine that hasn’t healed – may never heal completely.
I don’t know who you are. I could guess, but I am never right on guessing – and to be honest, that’s not the point of the question, and I am sorry I brushed it off.
If you are still reading this, friend (at this point, we are friends, even if I don’t know you)…
I read ‘The Alchemist’ twice in my life. Once as a novel, and once as a graphic novel. Both times, I loved it. I even referenced it in my \m/ novel. A friend suggested for me to read it a decade ago when I was feeling lost. I suggested it to select close friends (and even gave them my copies of the book) when they were feeling lost. It's an important read.
My interpretation – ‘personal calling’ is that deep passion inside of you that is calling from within. It’s that itch that needs to be scratched – sometimes it’s difficult to reach (life). As the introduction suggest – obstacles come in your way. Discouragement will be there, time and time again. As Walt Disney would say, ‘keep moving forward.’ Or, better yet – keep on keepin’ on.
I’ve been a writer since jr. high. I am not a great writer, by any means. I’ve gotten better as years gone by. I’ve perfected by craft from piece to piece. My prose improved. But I have no illusion where I stand. My self-published books don’t really sell much (on Amazon, when I used to sell at Universal, and where I currently sell at Park Ave CDs in Orlando). I will never be a best selling author. I will never be the next Stephen King. I am just Keith Helinski. Does this stop me from writing? Of course not. I keep writing. I keep practicing. I will be turning one of my books into a hardcover book early next year, and probably will be working on a new book after that. I will also be contacting more local bookstores in the Central Florida area and see if I can get my books on their shelves.
I love the freedom to write whatever the fuck I want (within reason). Though, I’ve learned, there are some boundaries not to cross - regretfully, I crossed it many times...and pulled most of those writings. Some of it is good, unsure what to do with it (a lot of feelings/emotions/heart/love were put into those pieces, and are still there inside of me - but indifference also resides within, and because I crossed boundaries so many damn times, I just don’t know what to do with those pieces). Any advice? No? That’s okay. Moving on.
For a long time, I wanted to go back to school. My employer gave me the opportunity to do just that. I was going for a Creative Writing degree, and had some classes under my belt. Then a set-back occurred over the summer (my migraines). During that time, I questioned myself, ‘do I really want/need a Creative Writing degree to be a writer?” Not really. I also realized a lot of the writers the classes uses as examples; I’ve already read/or/own. I look around my room and I am surrounded by the greats. I also realized a lot of the students that have the desire to be writers, do not read as often as they should. That is a big…hmmm…
Writing has also saved my life, more than once.
Rewind several years ago – I was told by an ex-girlfriend (pre-Karii) that I was wastin’ away my life, writing, hence the inspiration for the title of my blog (a short story I wrote, which was also inspired by Jimmy Buffett, was in-part, inspiration). We are at peace, now – and pretty damn good friends. Then, there was some bitterness. I learned to turn that bitterness into stories. Taylor Swift has a similar gift. At that time, I was also told I would fail at book writing.
I self-published three books. Not bad at failing at book writing.
That is the essence of ‘personal calling,’ friend. At least, my interpretation. And sometimes, you have to go on that long journey of self-discovery to find out exactly who you are – only to come back to the exact spot where the treasure is at. It was never about the destination. It was about the journey.
This past week (and your question) reminded me that, on a personal level. I have so many regrets in life (the ultimate journey we all take). But in actuality – I wouldn’t change a thing. It brought me here, to this moment. And at this point in time – the person who I am, I’ve been able to talk/be patient, and help my sister through her grief. Even my parents are a bit shocked. Yet, there are not.
For a guy that’s currently wearing an E.T. hoodie and Grinch pajama pants – I guess I grew up…some.
To the anonymous friend out there, if you are still reading this – if you found your personal calling….don’t let go of it, don’t feel discouraged…keep on keepin’ on.
