Did you feel that?

seen from United States
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Did you feel that?
Me: is it puppy bowl?
AuntMurble; yeah, well, a warm up.
Me: haha. It’s Super Bowl day huh? I had no idea.
AuntMurble: I won’t tell anyone!
Me: tell EVERYONE! Tell everyone I’m a slut that doesn’t know when sports happen because I’m too busy being a slut.
Me, walking down the stairs: Fafner says I’m watching too many compost videos and we need to go outside and touch grass and look at squirrels.
Murble; wow! That’s for free! You don’t even have to pay a streaming service for those videos.
I got Howard Hughes and Hugh Hefner mixed up in a conversation with Eeebs this morning. Anyway please picture Hugh Hefner wearing bunny-earred velvet kleenex boxes on his feet while pissing into jars.
How much do you imagine that I bring up Methuselah, Kleenex box shoes, and how old someone is in comparison to Elijah Wood, it’s probably way more than you think!
Now does that price include Eldon flying here and honeying my spoon?”
Jules: did you check us in?
Erin: The responsible one did.
Me: I’m the responsible one? Why am I the homeless and jobless one?
A gross thing. Gross warning. Me being gross.
Me, taking a tiny taste and sniff of a restaurant tortilla chip from the cupboard that was most certainly OLD: hmmm (puts the rest of chip in mouth.)
Ohbrother watching me.
Me, putting another chip in my mouth: these are very old. They smell like play dough.
OhBrother: (smallest) noooooo.
Me: I don’t think they will kill me (another chip in my mouth)
OhBrother: but you might have regrets for the rest of the day or so.
Me: I don’t even think they’ll hurt me. How are they still crispy though??? In this humidity? That’s like 100% science 0% food. I really wanted some tortilla chips with my soup.
OhBrother: I just remembered we have some in the pantry! (Shows them to me)
Me, and this is where I now realize I had lost my mind: hmmm, they won’t be as good though, I mean of course they will be good because they are not old but they won’t be crispy and salty like these. They don’t smell like play dough. (Sniffing an old chip) They smell like oil paint. Okay give me the fresh chips. I think you might be saving my life. HEY, these are good! Do you want one?
OhBrother: I do! It tastes and smells like food!
Me, examining the t-shirt design: hmm. Okay. This doesn’t look too bad.
AuntMurble: A good big size!
Me: I had nothing to do with that part.