it's not that i want to be fetishized, i just don't want my gender to be completely a 'uh that's ok' topic in my romance and or sex life. Like call me your cute little TRANSformer. encourage me to wear something when I've mentioned in the past how a particular way of dressing makes me feel euphoric. put me in social positions where I don't automatically fall into the role aligned with my agab/the gender I 'pass' as.
yes yes, it's great that you try not to only send me relationship memes where it's your gender x my agab, but i want you to like dating a non-binary person. I want you to vocally be anti-me-trying-to-act-cis (when its safe as can be to be trans gnc, ofc).
(p.s. yeah I'm going to talk to my partner about this at some point and I can't expect them to mind read I just wanted to put it here first)