+ >Data_slate_bootup.exe
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+ >Machine_spirit.exe
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+ Thought_of_the_day.exe = "Life is directed motion"
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+ Awaiting keyrune input...
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+ >Username_=_Efficax-Gamma-0008-EG
+ >Passrune_=_01110000_01110011_01110011_01110111_01110010_01100100
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+ ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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+ >Data_slate_entry_001.exe initiate
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+ Date_=_0_634_423_M41
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+ Magos Dominus -may his reason be an inspiration to us all- in conjunction with Commissar Castor has commanded this unit to collect the data of my interactions on a daily basis with the imperial guard regiment known as “101st offworld cadian escort”; for the purposes of improved guard/mechanicus integration. Therein, the efficiency of both our battle groups will improve, with the blessing of the data collected for the purpose of greater future knowledge of guard/mechanicus social interactions. This unit hopes to serve sufficiently in the name of the Emperor and the Machine.
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+ Praise the Omnissiah
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+ >Data_slate_entry_001.exe application saved + closed
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+ ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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+ >Data_slate_entry_002.exe initiate
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+ Date_=_0_635_423_M41
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+ The experiment has begun, as Enginseer Dominus proclaimed. Every skitarii ranger has been paired with a suitable guardsman for the purpose of social/physical interaction and data collection. The fleshy infantryman this unit has been paired with is known to the databank as “IG_28827-62947-2390_Cadia" but prefers to be known as "Pollux Pecan".
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+ This unit had come across this in the data downloaded the night cycle previously from the command ship in orbit: individual naming without the use of numerals for efficient parsing and identification. This unit voiced its concern about the lack of efficiency to unit "Pollux" due to the difficulty in locating the proper body after battle for paperwork, especially if the corpse has been defiled or destroyed in a manner that makes identification needlessly difficult visually. The lack of proper blood flow to pollux's face and erroneous vocalisation indicated sudden onset anxiety, this unit assumes the lack of sense and efficiency concerns him as much as it does this unit. Our socialisation is off to a good start, this unit predicts.
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+ During the half-day-cycle nutrition & hydration hour, this unit and "Pollux" shared rations (as this was stated in the mechanicum/imperium socialisation guide data-script to engage relations kinesthetically) This unit had hoped that the recycled protein cuboid would provide adequate nourishment for the high calorie intake of unit “Pollux” leading to both high energy, regular bowel movements and enhanced mental function. Pollux displayed dismay during consumption, citing reasons thereof due to “lack of flavor”, “unpleasant texture” and “what was it recycled from anyway?”
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+ In the spirit of the experiment, this unit shared the chemical composition, production methods and source of recycled protein. After the sharing of the last piece of information, unit “Pollux” moved at speed to the guardsman barracks prefab waste depository known colloquially as “latrines” whereupon he ejected the contents of his stomach.
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+ This action was most unpleasant for this unit, as the wastage of any resource is a sin unto the Omnissiah -may they bless this unit- and a perfectly good resource it was indeed. Human remains are a plentiful material, and have much better use than ritual burial. This unit assured the unit “Pollux” that the process to render the corpse into a consumable matter removes it from enough stages of identification as to not constitute as cannibalism, which is not only an abomination unto the emperor and omnissiah, but risks prion infection.
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+ Regardless, after unit “Pollux” had finished his sinful waste of perfectly good nutrients, this unit in an attempt at social reconciliation consumed part of unit “Pollux’s” meal. It was disgustingly flavourful, a mixture of starches, proteins, vitamins and fats. Completely inefficient, and to make matters worse, not in a basic shape for ease of handling. Archaic culinary utensils had to be used in its consumption. However, to put unit “Pollux’s” social anxieties at ease, this unit informed unit “Pollux” that the ratio of fats to starches was acceptable, and that the heavy application of sweetened red fruit paste to the salted vegetable brown paste was considered by my data-script on social strata to be “tasty”. This unit prays to the great Omnissiah that unit “Pollux” does not wish to exchange nutrients again.
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+ Praise the Omnissiah
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+ >Data_slate_entry_002.exe application saved + closed
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+ ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
This was an experiment in writing for me, trying to write from a very alien first person perspective. The mind of a Skitarii, vat-grown and trained from artificial birth to en-mass deployment to consider itself a unit within a group with a number, not an individual in a squad with a name.
Also, warhammer 40k needs more stories that aren't just about killing.
Comments and Critique welcome!
No enjoyment to be derived from food whatsoever - eating purely to refuel at this point. I can still taste sweet/sour/bitter etc. and have found that there’s a slightly sour taste that seems to be a base component of the flavour of a surprising number of things - e.g. coffee, bananas, chicken, beef. Without the other parts of the smell however all I get is the sour taste - not appetising.
Doc first tried me on a nasal steroid spray which I took for 4 weeks with no change (though hubby says he thinks I was breathing a little easier at night).
Went back to the doc yesterday. She gave me a week long course of antibiotics and a different lot of nasal steroid drops and sent me for blood tests which I had taken this morning.
I have to take the drops 4 times a day insead of the once daily I had to do the spray and I absolutely hate the feeling of tipping my head back and dripping something into my nose. Plus I have rubbish aim so I keep dripping it on my upper lip! Hopefully that will get better as I get more used to it...
Drops for 2 weeks and then if still no change I’ll get a referral to the ENT specialist. (Ear/Nose/Throat)
Only bright side? Doctor’s visits, tests and medicines have cost me the grand total of £0.00 - I really feel for everyone in the US who is getting the sharp end of the healthcare debate over there and I’m more determined than ever to stop the bloody Tories ruining the amazing gif that is the NHS.
Oh and it doesn’t bother me any more when I get in the lift at the office with the people who’ve been outside smoking... that’s a plus.
I like how she plays, but dislike everything else about her.
Thats it in a nutshell.
Further explained below the break! May contain opinions, swears and nuts.
Orisa is the newest addition to the overwatch roster, an african Omnic created by a child genius from the bits and pieces left over from a deadly assault by the villain Doomfist. Rather than simply being a defense drone, Orisa was created to be a hero from the get-go by her creator. She defends Numbani from threats to man and omnic alike, helps old ladies cross the street, prevents littering, stay in milk and drink school. all that jazz.
(Its like Superman, Bastion and Chiron had a baby, and the baby was delivered by Jimmy Neutron)
Lets first cover the good stuff, and arguably most important in a competitive multiplayer game; how she plays!
She plays like a middle-gameplay-ground Tank, she’s got a little deployable shield like Reinhart/Symmetra, a self-supporting utility ability like roadhog/D.va, with a gun halfway between 76′s rifle and bastions minigun, her ult is an AOE version of mercys alt-healing damage boost and a alt-attack of a mini graviton surge that's a scaled down version of Zaryas Ultimate. Her lack of mobility is her greatest weakness, as firing her main gun slows her down, and her support ability only reduces damage and prevents being knocked around.
I think she’s pretty well balanced at the moment, roughly. I think her gun needs fine tuning with a lack of headshots like the current bastion, and less ammo; alongside plenty of other tweaks that will inevitably happen. I’ve only played her a few times and I feel like the initial stats are okay at least. maybe a little too good for now. time will tell, playtesting is good.
(“Beep boop, look both ways before crossing. you have ten seconds to comply”)
Now, lets cover the bad stuff, which is all just my own opinions here. feel free to disagree and discuss them with me.
Personally, I think centaurs are one of the goofiest looking fantasy creatures out there. half a man and a horse, requiring mind bending acts of hand-waving to make their biology not horrifying, incapable of entering most human sized houses and vehicles, and generally looking and acting quite silly. They just don’t look particularly good to me, and I feel like if they weren’t a part of popular greek mythology they’d of been laughed out of the fictional creature bestiary long ago. Heck, their personal lives aren’t much better. They’re either drunk frat boys trying to out-party the Satyr’s or downright terrifying creeps who aren’t above kidnapping to get their jollies.
(He’s got like, at least 8 sets of abs there. also does he have two sets of internal organs? science, get on this.)
But hey, that's just my personal bias there. I don’t like centaurs. they look silly and they act creepy.
Orisa, is a robot centaur. Strike 1 for me I’m afraid. I do however like the sheer brave weirdness of her design, I mean shit, she’s a robot! she can be any shape you want and they fucking went with it. nobody can claim the designers were being dull with female shapes in this case. I can respect that whole creative bag.
point 2, is that personality-wise, there’s not much at all, at least for now. You’ve got a nice policewoman centaur ED-209 here. thats it. the girl who made her would of been WAY more interesting a character, but having an 11 year old african child fighting physically in a global defense force would be a little too hardcore for blizzard.
I like to think with Orisa being just released we’ll get more character out of her soon, but with the base concept, I can’t see much you can go with her that’s that interesting.
I much prefer the original concept me and the husband came up with before we looked into the whole thing; that Efi here was using the Orisa robot as a kind of long-ranged proxy to fight for overwatch. Kind of like D.va with Wifi. It makes sense to me, genius level 11 year old wants to help make the world a better and safer place, but is smart enough to realise that a teenager with bright ideals and a sharp wit isn’t going to stop the bad guys alone. Cue the super-drone! heck, why not drones? the challenge of playing more than one character at once might be interesting to explore.
Of course you then have the unfortunate fact that an 11 year old is playing the most realistic game of CoD with robots ever, but she’s already made a robot that can straight up murder people, with a fusion machine gun and gravity bombs. the bloods already on her tiny hands.
...
So, what do you guys think? I like the way the hero plays, but much like mei I feel like its a undercooked character but with the pretty good excuse of literally just being released. everything about Orisa is subject to change, and I’m looking forward to what blizzard's next move with her is.
god I want so many tattoos and I've decided fuck it I want to get tattoos on my left arm seeing as it's pretty useless otherwise, but I'm skint as fuck, being disabled and on benefits sucks I want to work and get money and not worry about whether I can afford to buy gluten free food so I can eat
This is going to be a rant, just like the doctor who one. Probably long too, thank god for those little “read more” thingys.
There will be swears, grumpiness, and the worst thing of all; OPINIONS (dun-dun-duuuuuun!)
More below the break.
Bet you about 90% of you thought I was gonna bitch about mei's combat mechanics huh?
Nah, this isn’t about that. But whilst we’re on that topic, I don’t think I like them.
I very much subscribe to the gaming school of thought where players REALLY dislike having their control taken from them in a game. that's why the sandman weapon in tf2 got nerfed into oblivion after all.
It originally completely stunned you for a few seconds, no movement no nuffin’, regardless of the distance chucked or where it hit you. It didn’t have a good skill/payout ratio, and as a heavy main at the time OOOH BOY did I despise this weapon.
Later nerfs took away the complete stun in a way, these days you have to hit it from a long distance to get a complete stun where you can’t move, otherwise you’re slowed and can’t use your weapon for a few seconds. still sucks for the sucker smacked with a saltball but at least you can dodge a little bit and you have some measure of control over your fate.
Meis main attack is a damaging spray stun. Her Ultimate is an area of effect stun. Most common mei tactic is to quickly stun your ass with M1, then headshot you with M2 for a quick kill. if you fight a decent mei 1 on 1, you’re probably fucked. If you’re within her range (which a lot of characters need to be), you’re fucked.
Then again, maybe you’re not meant to take her on one on one? it's a team game after all. plenty of heroes can escape, kill or tank her decently if you’re good enough...
I digress.
What I originally came here to bitch about is mei herself. Her character, or rather, lack thereof.
It sucks. there’s nothing to her.
Well, to say she has NOTHING would be a lie. what does she have? she’s a chinese cryo scientist from a different time era, frozen in time, a very smart woman who should throw out sick freezer-burns (HA) like mr freeze!
Damn, I love me some ice puns.
But... we don’t really explore any of that.
She’s chinese, so she speaks some of her lines in chinese (not sure if its Cantonese or Mandarin, sorry) nearly all of them are just translated word for word from her english ones. She doesn’t mention or seemingly utilise any interesting chinese culture tidbits into her dialog or character. She doesn’t talk about back home or how the china she knew isn’t the same anymore-
Speaking of, this girl is from the past. she doesn’t point out or find it odd how things have changed? she doesn’t use old lingo, old terms, find it disappointing her favourite show is cancelled, that they discontinued her favourite type of soda, anything? we don’t get told how long she was frozen for, but shit man. even a year would be worth making reference too, especially in our fast paced modern society.
What makes it worse is that her ice puns are to a minimum! good god man, think of the children!
Did I mention she’s got a lil’ floating Eve robot? yeah, she’s got one. never talks about the damn thing in game. neither does anyone else come to think of it. it's the thing that activates her ultimate, she chucks him out like a little happy hand grenade. thats an entire character aspect just glossed over. Fuck you R2-U2, you didn’t make the cut.
Also, let's quickly address “mei is bae”. Mei is cute. she’s a wonderfully chubby girl who’s got the wholesome cute girl geek next door vibe going on. I’d totes magotes date her if I wasn’t already engaged, and my boyfriend would too. this doesn’t do shit for her character substance, it's just worth mentioning.
I think the crux of her suckatude is her motto. “the world is worth fighting for!”
I honestly couldn’t think of a more generic hero quote if I tried. Not even the flying boy scout that is superman would shit out this line unironically these days.
She’s just this bizarrely boring character in what is a genuinely thrilling lineup of heroes. Jesus titty fucking christ guys, we’ve got an octogenarian german cyberknight, a Tesla moon gorilla, a Literally-fucking-clint-eastwood, and a brazilian Jet Set Radio DJ who heals bullet wounds WITH DEM SICK BEATS BRO. how can you make such a god damn amazing lineup and then just come up with; “uhhh. chinese scientist. uses freeze gun. perky and dateable”
It just smacks of everyone breaking for lunch early and never picking up the idea again. why is she so so so so SO SO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOO dull? I hate playing as her because she’s so dull. none of her lines make me chuckle at either the badassitude or the corny nature of them.
I and many other players come to overwatch because of these characters. these funny, silly, serious, fun, badass and cool characters. If you took them out, the game would still be playable but it’s soul would be gone. it’d be a flavourless meal, filling to be sure, but like ash on our tastebuds.
Fortunately, we’ve got ourselves a pretty damn good feast as it is. Unfortunately, it just makes this one stale little crouton stand out in this cornucopia of flavour.
