#personal101

[theycallhersummerrrx]

12/25/19

Pms-ing at christmas day/2nd anniv.

Sabay ka lang.

[theycallhersummerrrx]

WASTED

After I graduated, here are the things that I have accomplished so far:

1. Wasted so much time finding myself

2. Wasted so much money

3. Wasted my life

4. Allowed people to continuously ruin my life

5. Took all the negative comments about my life and internalized them, making me feel worthless and useless all the time — crying randomly some days

6. Doubted and still doubting myself even when I’ve got plans to try and rebuild my fucking wasted life

7. Still hoping to just die

8. Why cant I just die

9. Die

10. Died (soon)

[theycallhersummerrrx]

12.25.17

My faith on Christmas day has been restored!

—-

Ive been thinking if I must tell you now kasi baka lalong maging complicated situation natin. Tho I think you know naman how I feel for you (I hope), even when I do not say it aloud, or reply everytime na sinasabi mo sakin. As I’ve told you kanina bb, I couldnt hold it any longer. Because I think you deserve not to only feel it but hear it from me. Thank you love for bringing my 2017 plot twist. For making me happy since you sent that message sa sarahah, thank you for always calming my demons. Thank you for swimming through my mood swings. Thank you for making me feel loved always. Thank you love, thank you for staying. Say thank you to tita Alona for carrying you for 9 months (premature kaba? Basta kung ilang months ka man bb hahahaha). Thank you for always believing in me (more than I believe in me 😭😭). Thank you for holding on. Hold on a little longer pa okay? And I am sorry for each panic attacks everytime na totopakin ako. Sorry kasi pinapakilig kita lagi (hehehehe mwaa). Tama nanga baka maihi kana sa kilig dyan 😆. Well, hey my being, my bb, my maria, my love, my Allen, I love you. Sammie loves you so much. Merry Christmas, love. 😘❤️

PS. Unfortunately, hindi pa tayo okay. Bawal pa 😂😂

PSS. Manliligaw ka parin kay daddy and fam 😆

PSSS. Wag masyado kiligin okay 😂😂

—-

I have sent him this afterrrrrr a long period of meditation. Charot! Ewan ko, ayoko ng irestrict ung sarili ko sa pagsasabi gaano ko sya kamahal, gaano sya kahalaga sakin. He deserves every little bit of these. Merry Christmas love, I love youuu.

[theycallhersummerrrx]

Last night we were saying our ‘i miss you’s’ over the video call. Kaninang umaga di ko talaga expect na tototohanin mong pupunta ka samin para magtigil nako kakatampo. Huhu. Sometimes I wonder what good have I done to have someone like you. But every damn time na kuquestionin ko sarili ko, you are always making me feel that I deserve every little bit of these. Every little bit of us. Thank you for existing my being, my maria, my bb. I havent told you yet but hey, I love you so much. 😭