#pesks

[matarsack]

In an Iranian household, the primary role of a man is to kill the cockroach.

[supernaturally-avenged]

When you open your window for fresh air and flies see this as an invitation to take up residency in your home.

[melodyintexas]

Work Pesks

My employment history is quite varied.  I've worked in a call center, a clothing store; as an intern for the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation; a life insurance salesman; a high school reading tutor and now, a middle school English and Reading teacher.  Through the years, I've encountered THAT GUY.

THAT Let Everyone Know Everything I Did Guy.  So annoying because very few people care that it was you who filled the copier, or made the sign for the restroom, or created the PowerPoint.  It's just not in my nature to be the glory-seeker.  I'm always willing to share and contribute ideas and resources and have never felt it necessary to make sure everyone knows.

THAT Talk Too Loudly on the Phone Guy.  Seriously!  FYI, we all talk about yo' loud ass behind your back.

THAT I Just Come to Work to Wait On Happy Hour Guy.  When I was a high school tutor, I could set my own hours.  One teacher would leave the same time as me on Fridays.  He told me "Shiiiiii, I'm trynna to get to Pappadeaux's Happy Hour."  We get it, you like to hang out.  But unless drinks on you, I don't want to hear it.  It doesn't make me respect you, professionally, when all you talk about is how you can't wait to get to the bar.

THAT Buy What My Kids Are Selling Guy.  I'll say what everyone else won't:  Unless it's Girl Scout Cookies, we don't want it!  What I look like spending $10 on wrapping paper because it's YOUR child?  Now, I get wanting to help.  Shoot an email.  Place the order form in the breakroom and let that be it.  I don't want to put you on the "don't make eye contact with them" list because you're being pushy about some nasty chocolate-covered almonds.

THAT I Don't Wash My Hands in the Restroom Guy... well, Gal.  Eeeewww!  I'm convinced that kind of nastiness is generational.  You must have been raised to be such a filthy bitch.  And I'm gonna call you a bitch because only an animal would do that.  But they're always the Can't Wait for the Work Pot Luck Guy too.  This is PRECISELY why I don't participate in such festivities.

I guess it aint enough to come to work, do your job, and go home.  Maybe I'm the crazy one.