Gone || Twelfth Doctor x Reader
A/N: Based on a request by anon: ‘12th doctor & reader sort of a platonic hurt/comfort type of thing??’
I had to relive Season 9 Episode 11 for this so I hope you’re happy with this fic anon - tears were shed while getting inspiration. Also because this is my first time writing anything Doctor Who, forgive me if it’s not as good as it could be. Ngl my eyes did get a bit watery but I was also very tired when writing this so mixed reviews.
Main Masterlist
Doctor Who Masterlist
You hummed to yourself as you checked your phone whilst leaning against your kitchen counter as you waited for your kettle to boil. As it was currently a Wednesday afternoon, it was Clara’s turn to travel with the Doctor - you travelled with him on Fridays. You worked a normal job the rest of the week, and considering the Doctor could travel in time, you technically never missed Fridays anyway, and if you ever were a few minutes late, you could always blame it on the traffic.
When you first started travelling with the Doctor your previous job didn’t have too much of a problem with you being an hour late, or sometimes more, as long as you made the hours up later. But this new job, which you actually really enjoyed, was far more strict on shift times, so you’d had to have several stern talks with the Doctor about his navigation through time so that you wouldn’t get fired. Even then, you’d sometimes walk into work after several warnings and had actually been fired, but you’d just walked back out, hopped back in the TARDIS and made the Doctor arrive at the correct time as to avoid getting fired again.
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You’d been the Doctor’s companion since his tenth regeneration; you’d been good friends with Donna and had gotten yourself in a bit of a sticky situation - basically you’d been caught in the middle of an alien invasion, and Donna had been coming up with all these amazing stories of places she’d travelled to, so you spammed her phone with texts and calls until she replied and saved your ass. Since then, the Doctor had allowed you to come on adventures with him, even after Donna had lost all memories of the Doctor and the times you’d spent together.
When Amy and Rory had gone, you’d stayed with the Doctor until he met Clara, and then you arranged a schedule with the two of them. It had become very crowded with you, Amy and Rory travelling with the Doctor, and even though you and Clara both travelled together some days, you needed some time to yourself and needed to get a real job instead of ignoring reality by travelling through time around the universe. Also, you needed a slight mental health break - losing Donna, Amy and Rory had really taken a toll, as even though you’d lost family members, it was a different story when death was the result of alien life-forms and your friends had died right in front of you with no chance of truly telling them how much they meant to you, and the fact that one of your closest friends had lost any memory of some of the best moments the two of you had shared together, and if you ever spoke of them to her, she’d burn up and die.
You always liked Clara - she was clever and level-headed, which was rarely found when you travelled alone with the Doctor. He tended to be extremely unpredictable with his decisions, and even though you’d known him for a while, his brain would always outpace yours when it came to piecing together the answer to whatever mystery you were solving, so it was nice to have another human to travel with. The two of you also got along extremely well, and Clara was always eager to hear about your previous adventures with the Doctor, and you were always happy to tell stories - but it was always painful to reminisce on memories with your old companions.
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The ‘click’ of your kettle snapped you out of your memories, and you absentmindedly turned to fill up your mug with hot water - you’d already put the teabag in - and finished making your tea, heading back to your position on your sofa. You had just sat down, shifting back into the dent you'd made in the cushions from how often you sat there, and had taken one sip of your tea before you were rudely interrupted. If it had been anything or anyone else, you would have been far more annoyed, but as the familiar, comforting sound of the TARDIS flooded your home, you couldn't help but allow a smile to grace your face.
But that’s odd, you thought to yourself as you stood up. You were sure that it was Clara’s day for an adventure, and the Doctor would normally visit you in the evening after your shift was over (it was currently about 3pm and your boss had let you all out early after a water-pipe burst) and have a cup of tea and tell you what he’d done with Clara that day. He’d probably got the hours mixed up or something, you mused as you headed to where the sound was coming from, as it was hours too early for him to swing by.
You followed the sound to your bedroom, and sure enough, there stood the TARDIS. As you closed the door behind you, the familiar sound stopped, signalling that it had finally materialised. Your smile widened as the door opened, and you bounced excitedly on the balls of your feet as you waited to see the Doctor and Clara, and to hear about whatever crazy adventure they’d had today.
But your smile dropped slightly when the Doctor finally came into view.
“Doctor?” You asked, moving closer to him as your eyes roved over his face. Something was wrong. Really wrong. “Are you okay?” You peered around him, trying to look into the TARDIS. “Where’s Clara? Did you drop her off at home already?” The Doctor finally seemed to regain a sense of where he was and who he was talking to, and collected himself together.
“Clara’s gone.” The Doctor’s voice hissed into a low rasp, that you had come to associate with the most dire of situations.
“Gone where?” You asked slowly, even though you already knew the answer. You could feel your heart start to beat faster, and your vision began to grow blurry as the beginnings of tears gathered in your eyes. “Gone where, Doctor?”
“She’s dead.” He answered simply, his voice breaking on the last word, his eyes growing glassy with unshed tears. “She’s gone. And I can’t bring her back.”
“No.” You breathed, feeling as though something sharp had been driven into you; as if every breath hurt. Your chest hurt; it was as if you could physically feel your heart breaking apart just a little more. “Doctor please, tell me you’re lying - she isn’t gone; we can just go back and get her, right? We can go back into last week and see her again, and stop whatever happened from happening.” You begged, hearing your voice grow louder as the tears that had been building up finally started to fall.
The Doctor only watched you, with the same tired look on his face, his eyes shining with his own unshed tears. “Please Doctor. Not again. Not another one, please, I can’t keep doing this.” The tears were starting to fall in earnest now, with no sign of stopping, as you drew in deep, painful breaths. “Why Clara?” You choked out, rubbing furiously at your face to get rid of the tears.
Not Clara. Who was now just another name added to the long list of the Doctor’s companions. Clara, who had done so much for the universe, and was now gone in an instant, and who had left her life behind for a taste of adventure. And nobody left in her life would ever really know what happened.
“You think that I want to keep doing this?” The Doctor grasped your shoulders, forcing you to look at him. “It’s my duty to keep moving forwards and to keep helping people. Clara-” his voice broke and he looked away, his grip tightening, and he shut his eyes tightly as he tried to compose himself. “Clara knew what she was doing, in the end. She wanted to help people, and she did. She helped so many people. But I couldn’t help her.” The two of you stared at each other, both of you crying silently, and you occasionally wiping your tears away.
“You did help her, Doctor.” You smiled sadly at him, finally reaching up and brushing his tears away with your thumb, stepping close enough that his hands were just comfortably resting on your shoulders. “You helped her see the whole universe, and we all travelled through time. You helped open her eyes to so many wonderful things, and helped her learn so many valuable lessons along the way.” You sniffed, swallowing thickly. “And I know she helped you, too.”
He said nothing, but simply gazed at you, a mixture of a sadness than ran deeper than words could express, and wonder showing on his face. You pulled him in for a gentle hug, leaving him room to back out if he wanted to. You knew he wasn’t much of a hugger in this body. For a moment he was still, then he seemed to crumple in your arms, his body shaking from the force of his sobs as he clutched you to him, seemingly trying to ground himself to the last shreds of his reality. All you could do was hold him tightly, running your hands gently through those soft, silver curls like you’d always wanted to.
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Eventually, after what felt like a lifetime of intermittent crying, you broke away, and pulled down the long sleeves of your top so that you could reach up to wipe away the Doctor’s tears once more.
“Come on.” You whispered, slipping your fingers through his and tugging him towards you kitchen. “I’ll make us some tea. That always makes everything seem a little better.” You smiled weakly at him, and he followed obediently.
As you started up the kettle again, you felt him rest a hand on the small of your back - a comforting gesture for the both of you; it felt like too much distance was between you otherwise. Once you had poured away your cup of cold tea, you turned to face him, and his hand slipped to rest comfortably on your waist.
“I feel like this is an unnecessary question to ask, Doctor.” You murmured, running your hands over the lapels of his jacket. “But why did you come here? I mean, there are thousands of moments in time or people that might have...comforted you better than I have.”
“Clara told me that I might be on my own for a while.” He replied, voice sounding slightly thick. “She predicted that I’d go off and...I don’t know, destroy a planet or something.” He suddenly smiled down at you - a real smile, not as big as it should be, but one that made the skin around his eyes crinkle, which in turn made you feel warm and slightly fuzzy inside. “I didn’t even set the TARDIS to come here. I think she just knew that I wouldn’t be alone with you.”
You smiled widely at him, feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness amidst the sadness that hung over the both of you. “You’re always welcome here, Doctor.” You said warmly. “And I’m flattered that the TARDIS thinks so highly of me.” The two of you basked in the warm atmosphere until your kettle signified that it was time to make tea. “Now, if you’re going to stay here, I’m going to need you to grab some teabags. They’re in that cupboard over there.”
