potter family opera crumbs?
Harry after his second year, mindlessly cooking dinner by his Aunt Petunia's side.
Harry: .......*sigh*
Petunia:.....😑
Harry:.......*sigh* .......😞
Petunia, eye twitching: .......
Harry: .....*SIG-
Petunia: "What!?"
Harry: "Why did you never tell me my dad dated Professor Snape?"
Petunia exe has stopped working: "Excuse me?"
Harry no paying attention to her, just stirring the stew: "I mean, I guessed you didn't like talking about my parents but Snape would kind of count as a psuedo-parent right? I mean he's my dad's ex but the Wizarding world is weird so their laws are probably weird so maybe I should have gone to him?"
Petunia, still horribly confused: "I'm sorry?"
Harry: "We don't have to pretend anymore, Petunia. You don't like me. You never have. I don't like you. That's a given. So like....why didn't I go with Snape? Was his and my dad's breakup really that bad?"
Petunia having a crisis: "He was your mother's boyfriend."
Harry: *gasp* "Snape is my double almost parent!"
Petunia: "I don't....what?"
Harry: "I have to tell the club about this...."
Petunia losing her shit: "Club?"
Que Harry telling her everything about the Potter Family Opera so far and though she won't admit it....Petunia is more than a little hooked and feeds Harry so much dirt and false info on Snape when Vernon isn't home.
