Anti-Kleinphy/Anti-Jared Rant
I just saw an anti-Kleinphy post (that has since been deleted because the person couldn't take a proper debate) and I gotta just summarise my thoughts.
Before I get into my rant I just have to clarify that I ship basically all of the ships related to the teenagers of DEH, so there isn’t any bias there, and I do see all of them as not necessarily good or bad, but instead just… People. And I do like Connor (although he does rank at the bottom of the list) even if I do talk some shit about him. Same with Evan (my second favourite character).
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I’m not going to argue Jared is a good person; in context of the canon information given to us, he is a complete dick. Even with that, he’s probably the character I relate to most in almost any form of media, so there is some sort of a bias and some sort of reflection onto him. I’m a jerk, but I also care for those around me and try to help/support them to the best of my ability (like when Jared tries to give Evan advice on what to do before the Murphy dinner/For Forever, helps with the e-mails during Sincerely, Me and continues to pump them out every week afterwards (from Alana’s line in her scene after Good for You), agrees to take part in the Connor Project in Disappear, etc.).
At the same time, Connor is canonically abusive, much worse than anything that Jared ever did in the musical; Zoe mentioned, in the scene before Requiem, how her brother tried to knock down her door and threatened to kill her. I feel like that tops Jared’s comment targeting Connor for his ‘school shooter chic’ in the beginning of the musical.
Jared’s joke was rude and uncalled for, but, at the same time, it didn’t seem like he meant it to set Connor off, seeing how he ran off afterwards in fear. I don’t think bullies usually run away from their victims like that, and I don’t think their victims speak up so loudly most of the time like Connor had. It was just a stupid, offensive joke that Jared made on the spot that didn’t land.
The whole 'Sincerely, Me’ scene is, also, obviously not directly targeting Connor. It isn’t as if he’s acting out in malice; he’s trying to make this incredibly dark situation that Evan got himself into, forging emails depicting a teenager that committed suicide to show to his grieving family, as light-hearted as he can. He isn’t good with taking things seriously, which is clear with how he makes a majority of the jokes in the show. If you look at it as it actually is, without the upbeat music, it could easily be argued to be one of the darkest scenes in the entire show, and Jared clearly wouldn’t want to deal with it in a serious manner.
Speaking of Sincerely Me, Jared is shown being a dick to Evan, but, from them being “family friends” and a few lines from the original Arena Stage production that were later cut (which I try not to use for evidence in my argument since it isn’t officially canon, but this is my only exception since there isn’t anything indicating how long Evan and Jared have known each other (unless the “do you remember when Connor threw a printer at the teacher in 2nd grade” comment counts as that, although they could have also only become family friends later and then realised they were in the same class)), they’ve known each other for years, at the very least, if not for most of their lives. Their relationship could easily be seen as a brotherly bond. Plus, if we look to other people who have played Jared instead of just Will, there are ones that come off as much more friendly (MLB is my main example, for I have not heard many others (except for BLR who I’m still trying to figure out my opinion on) and I’ve only read things for other understudies). A lot of people’s perceptions of any of these characters truly come from their performances, since even a small delivery change of these lines can easily change a character. That being said, since Will is the original actor, he is the version that people always go to when they think of Jared, and, as a result, they often see the harshest version.
Along with that, saying that Connor is a victim of his situation and suggesting that Jared isn’t is a stretch; there is nothing canonically about Jared’s family, other than he has parents (from the scene after the Sincerely, Me reprise, where he mentions “his parents’ liquor cabinet”) and at least one mother, who doesn’t seem to seek more from her son than him just nodding and agreeing (from the scene before the Murphy dinner/For Forever). There is also nothing too solid about his school life, other than (as Evan states from the scene in Good for You) he has no friends. For all we know, he could have a horrible family life, where, unlike Connor’s parents, neither of his parents could care an ounce about him (which would make sense, seeing how desperate he seems for validation and attention from Evan and how he tries to put himself into the emails, but I’m getting into HCs for another post).
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TL;DR: Jared isn’t an abuser. Connor isn’t a victim of Jared. Connor is honestly a bit (way) worse than Jared in context of the show but we still love him.