Feb 6, 2022
Do It For Ripley d'Phiarlan: A Memoir
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Do It For Ripley d'Phiarlan: A Memoir
I commissioned @strawberrysasparilla for my d&d PC Enran Thuranni (left) and his boyfriend, Varis Phiarlan (right)!
Betting Games
Scratch tells the baroness of Phiarlan House that he can find out a definite truth from an omniscient entity...by paying 10 years of his life. She, currently worried about an imminent threat to her life, muses about what she’d want to know. He offers to the baroness if she has any questions she would like to ask using him.
Baroness: “...lastly: who wins the Race of Eight Winds this year?”
Scratch: “I’m not asking that.”
Baroness: “I have a lot of money riding on this one.”
Scratch: “Ma’am, I must emphasize, I pay for these questions with my life.”
Baroness: “You would not die for me?”
Scratch, kneeling at her side and gently taking her hand: “Not for a question that stupid.”
Later, as Scratch is leaving her manor
Scratch: “I should bet on the race this year, too.”
Baroness: “You are not a betting man.”
Scratch: “If it is a sure thing. Perhaps I will ask who wins. And not tell you.”
Baroness: “You are cruel to me, you know?”
An Opera
The baroness of Phiarlan and Scratch are having a conversation. After finalizing her will, she muses with Scratch about his unique ability to find out a truth about the future, or the universe, by spending 10 years of his life.
Baroness: “I think I will write an autobiography. Make sure the family makes an opera about my life when I die.”
Scratch: “Of course. Who could resist seeing that?”
Baroness: “I wonder if it will be successful. Ask for me, won’t you?”
Scratch: “Ma’am, I adore you. You excel at everything you do.”
Baroness: “That is just your way of saying you will not.”
Idle Chatter
Scratch leans in uncomfortably close to Elvinor d’Phiarlan (the baroness) to have a private conversation. Not uncomfortable for them, mind you, but too close for normal chatter. Her husband enters.
Duke: “Ahem. I’d like to speak to my wife for a moment?”
Scratch, to the Baroness: “You take on so much. What is it your husband does, exactly?”
Baroness: “Be nice, Scratch. It isn’t easy being the second husband of a very powerful woman.”
Scratch looks pointedly at the Duke: “What about the third?”