#philblade

[foxeshum]

i have accidentally appeared outside the techza community. oh dear

anyways just to feed you guys, i’ve seen loads of au’s where its like. modern techno meets eldritch god philza but what if its modern philza meets god techno but techno is literally just pretending to be Some Guy.

and phil only finds out technos a god because techno is really BAD at being Some Guy.

“ yes i love potatoes. like every other human “

and phil just thinks hes autistic at first but the coincidences keep on adding up but like . he doesnt even think technos a god at first he assumes techno is a fae or a vampire.

“ i know what you are, technoblade. “

“ say it. out loud. say it “

“ vampire. “

“ what???? no? what? how did you get that? hello? what? “

[chocolatte-and-despair]

Yan philza and techno is so tasty... 👀 Wonder how'd philza react when after all he's done for techno, he still rejects him because techno's feels are strictly platonic- though he still appreciates and values philza?

Philblade

* To be honest, Philza was pretty sure Technoblade would answer like that, and at this point, that answer would be completely fine to Philza. He has been platonic with Technoblade for so long, that he is simply used to it by this point. * Philza would be more than happy to keep being just friends, as long as Technoblade would accept to stay away from dream and simply would stick around with him, as they have done for months now. How they have done years before. * Philza adores Technoblade and as long as the man is just around him, he is happy with whatever he would get, but.. If Technoblade would decline and would decide to move back into the cities, Philza would need to move onto plan B. * Now, Philza was not insane. If a huge prison couldn't hold Technoblade trapped, he himself couldn't either. So, the more realistic answer would be to kill... everyone and anyone who gets close to Technoblade, forcing the man to only have Philza in his life.

[foxeshum]

ugh. been thinking about pinewood and iron / deity au, and i might switch up the dynamic a little bit..

phil is still an immortal solider, but a retired one.. he now just adventures and explores. but maybe he finds techno AFTER technos banished— he stumbles upon an old altar for him, and decides that just to be kind, he’d offer a bit of gold to the god, since the altar looks old and all the other offerings are also very clearly old

this probably alerts techno..

i also realised i never explained what a banished god implies for this world. it simply implies that the god is stuck in the mortal realm, never to return back to godhood.. almost like the marvel thor movie HJSJWOFKJR

but he cant redeem himself. he still has godly powers but they arent as strong as they used to be

[foxeshum]

hi hello im revived

techza stardew valley au . philza is the new farmer whos weirdly good with birds ( especially the crows )

techno owns a winery and a potato farm and usually struggles with pesky crows picking at his crops until one day they just stop??? and he tells phil about it and phil goes “ oh yeah! lol i made them stop “

and techno isnt sure whether hes attracted to it or freaked out

[foxeshum]

everytime someone twinkifies philza and technoblade, an angel loses its wings

[foxeshum]

right so we’ve all collectively agreed that Courting Song from how to train your dragon 2 is techzas song right

[foxeshum]

while i work on Pinewood and Iron ( deity au ), i have come to preach my favourite au, which is actually rivals / enemies to lovers em duo. its cliche but ugh its so good

i enjoy the thought of them being all competitive, and honestly trying to kill each other ( bonus points if they’re gods, kings or warriors ), but they start getting closer to each other. not by will. they also start respecting each other- hating each other as well, but they respect each other to a degree

i think i like the thought of one day, one of them is hurt.. i’ll use techno as an example. but technos hurt, and phil freaks out because like what the hell??? phils the one supposed to be beating the fuck out of techno not someone else

and shit snowballs from there , phil patches techno up and shows genuine worry and techno is like “ hrm….”

i usually write techno as demiromantic so like if i ever wrote anything about this it’d be the longest slowburn you’d ever see

[chocolatte-and-despair]

New addiction discovered, can we get more yandere!Philza x Technoblade? Like more in depth about what Philza would do to make sure Techno is his?

Philblade

* One of the most popular things that Philza would do to get Technoblade would probably cater to Technoblade's dream of going somewhere far away from everyone else and living a normal life. * Chances are that Philza would Trick Technoblade into following him somewhere far away under the pretense of this being a gateway for them so nobody would find the two after Technoblade escaped from prison. * There, for a few months, the two would live in solitude and Philza would make sure to cater to everything that the man ever wanted to do and have. * He knows that this sort of manipulation is not the best, but Philza needs to do dirty tricks like this if he wants to keep Technoblade. Besides, if he has a good time, who cares, right?