every time i see will in his cap and gown, my stomach twists and i feel like crying like that’s my child. my son. my womb baby. he made it. he survived. he graduated. he’s moving on. he is the final girl.
As a child of the 90s, my pre-teen years involved hand written letters and very long conversations on the home telephone. The advent of hand held technology made spiral notebook hand written love letters a thing of the past along with the desire to hold a phone between your shoulder and ear. We went from gel pens to heart emojis, house phones to households strictly owning just a mobile phone. I won’t lie, I still at times roll my eyes when I receive a phone call as I would rather the individual text whatever it is they need to say.
A number of other millennials share this same feeling, so much that it has changed the way we communicate with one another and how we conduct business. If you really think about the use of emoticons, we use them because our messages through text can be so easily misconstrued; emoticons are new age context clues to provide insight to what we’re attempting to interpret. We can string together long paragraphs of text more readily than we can verbally communicate our thoughts and emotions; we’ve all sent multiple long angry texts (even more true for women). An important question to ask is why have we strayed away from traditional means of communication? We find it a great deal more comforting to result to texting for communication rather than actual verbal means, despite the benefit of rapidness for the message being received there’s still the issue of that message being misinterpreted. There’s only so much feeling that can be conveyed with a character limit along with the fact that when you’re reading you can easily translate ideas in a multitude of ways and meanings. I believe overall that we’ve lost sight of the value of true communication, being able to hear and truly feel the words of conversation. We live in a society that values speed and efficiency but seems to shun the idea of sincerity and acknowledgement. An example of this is evident in the methods of how we treat mental illnesses like clinical depression; you see countless ads for medications in hopes to relieve symptoms but rarely is there a promotion for something so effective as counseling (actual communication). As the health professional who should be the listening ear would much rather prescribe you an antidepressant.
Only now are people truly seeing the value in actual communication, instead of sending a text where one can easily hide their true emotions how about calling or even visiting? Rather than working your thumbs to no avail to send those five emotion filled texts, how about allowing the receiver to hear your voice so that they may truly understand your perspective?
I began to value phone conversations even more as I lost my grandmother, I would give anything to speak to her again, to hear her laugh so loudly that I would have to turn the volume down. We should value these small tokens before they’re gone, it’s such a gift to hear the voice of those you care about even when it’s angry or sad. I’m grateful for the calls as it’s a reminder that someone wants to hear me or it’s too much to text and it must be heard. We have to appreciate the laughter or the shakiness from frustration or grief as the generation did before us, our ability to hear is a blessing just as much as it is to see.
Series of CS oneshots inspired by music. Collection on FF Here.
A/N: Hey all! This is a short drabble based on a request I got a while back for Emma being suspicious as Killian plans a surprise party for her. I’ve had a few chapters like this in the past, but it is always fun to do cutesy future stuff like this. The song I have decided to couple it with is called ‘Phone Down’ and is by Lost Kings and while it’s not a perfect fit for CS the whole phone thing does come into play. Hope you all enjoy!
“At the risk of taunting fate into throwing some more bad guys our way, I have to say, I really love this job when time’s are slow.”
Emma smiled, agreeing with her father’s assessment entirely. Once upon a time she might have thought this job dull or tedious, but now she enjoyed the fact that they had all this downtime. Paperwork, it turned out, was actually really great, especially when compared to fighting an Evil Queen or a Black Fairy or the Dark One.
“You know when I first got here, this is the job I signed up for. The dragon slaying and realm hopping was really just an unexpected bonus,” Emma quipped, pulling a laugh from David.
“Do you want to take lunch first or…?” Her Dad’s question was a good one, but before Emma could respond, her phone rang and she knew from the ringtone that it was Killian.
“I guess we’ll see,” she tossed her Dad’s way before responding. “Hey, so are we thinking lunch now or in an hour? I know it’s a crazy big decision, but I trust you with such a life altering choice.”
Emma expected her joke to prompt a laugh from Killian, but instead there was a heavy pause that immediately had Emma sitting up in her chair. Her instincts said something was wrong with a silence this lengthy, but finally her husband responded.
“I’m sorry, love, but I won’t be able to make it to Granny’s today. Something’s come up.”
“Something’s come up?” Emma repeated back to him, trying to understand what he was saying. It’s not that she wanted to pry or that she didn’t trust him, but there was something in Killian’s tone that told her he wasn’t being fully honest.
Maybe she was acting childish, but Emma was used to a certain level of attention from her pirate. For all the setbacks that sometimes appeared in their lives, there was one thing that Emma always loved about their relationship and that was how they preferred to be together, and that when they were together they were really there. Killian and her had a shared understanding that their quiet moments were precious, even if they were arguing about something stupid, or too tired from fighting bad guys to keep their eyes open.
But over the past week that had changed. It started innocently enough, with Killian slipping out when at the station to run some unknown errand, or arriving a minute or two late for when they planned to meet for something. Yet the days passed and the signs that something was off grew more and more apparent. Now all of this was starting to become a new normal, and Killian was using his phone more than he ever had in the years since arriving in Storybrooke. If that wasn’t a sign of something apocalyptic, she didn’t know what was.
“Aye. But we’re still on for tonight, right? You’ll be home at five?”
The eagerness in his tone was surprising but it sparked some hope for Emma. There had been a little bit of distance this week, not when they were together but when they were apart. It would sound silly trying to vocalize it, but even when they weren’t with each other Emma knew Killian would rather that they were. This week though he’d been taking more time to himself, which was fine, just… different. But from the way Killian sounded, he was desperate for her to get home right at five today.
“Um, yeah. That’s the plan,” Emma confirmed, noticing her Dad was playing at not being interested even while he listened to everything the two of them said. For a sheriff/deputy, her Dad really needed to work on that discretion skill set.
“Brilliant. I’ll see you then. I love you.”
Those last three words brought a smile to Emma’s lips. She might be feeling off, and worrying about what was going on with Killian, but that love was still a constant. She could feel the truth in his vow of affection, and Emma decided to cling to that as a type of shield against her fear. Whatever was going on Killian did love her, and Emma had no cause to doubt that, so she repeated the endearment and then hung up the phone and shrugged to her Dad.
“I guess I’m up for either time. You going home to see Mom and Neal?” Emma asked and her Dad shook his head and got up grabbing his jacket, suddenly seeming shifty himself. Was there something in the air? Or was Emma just being crazy? Maybe the lack of villains running around was making her paranoid.
“No actually I have some errands to run, so I was hoping I could go now if that’s alright.”
“Sure,” Emma said uneasily, her eyes tracking her Dad and trying to figure out what she was missing. One second he’d been laid back and easy going, now he was rushed and acting strangely.
“Great. Be back in an hour. And if something pops up…”
“You’ll be the first to know if any lawn gnomes go missing or Leroy tries to file a restraining order against Granny again.” Her Dad smiled and kissed the crown of her head before heading out, leaving Emma alone at the station once more.
The afternoon from there was still a little shaky. Emma distracted herself with some mundane activities around the station, grabbed her lunch, and checked in on Henry when he popped by for his afterschool visit, but soon enough her restlessness got the better of her. Emma ended up going on another set of rounds unexpectedly, and as she walked she tried to piece together the puzzle of why she was feeling so strangely disconnected, especially with Killian.
The past few years Emma had gone through a tremendous transformation. She had overcome a lot of personal demons, and some ghosts from her past, allowing her family (including Killian) to sneak past her defenses and see her for who she really was. She’d come to terms with that whole savior mess and come out on the other side, and the happily ever after, though constantly in flux, was good so far. Living with Killian and marrying him were two of the best decisions she’d ever made, and recently they’d even been talking about having more kids.
Wait, maybe that was what this was! Maybe her mentioning wanting more kids had freaked him out somehow. They hadn’t been married very long yet, only a few months, but Emma felt like she could be totally honest with Killian when saying that she was wishing for another child or maybe even two. As a kid she’d been all alone, and though any child of theirs would have a family, it was different to have a sibling. And though Henry had Roland, there was no doubt in Emma’s heart that he’d enjoy being the big brother to some new heroes in training.
But when she spoke to Killian he seemed so interested. Actually, he seemed more than interested, and Emma recalled the exact words that he’d said to her when she first broached the subject:
“The chance to grow our family is a gift I never even thought to dream of, Swan. It’s almost too perfect an idea to fathom.”
After those swoon-worthy words Killian proceeded to spend the night ‘practicing’ for when Emma was ultimately ready to take that next step, and in the days following that enthusiasm remained. Come to think of it things had been so fantastic directly after that conversation that it made the contrast to now seem so daunting. One day they were so together and on the same page, and now Emma was jealous of Killian’s stupid phone. Emma shivered at the thought that they’d gotten here given Killian’s track record of hating said device.
Still no closer to answers than she had been, Emma looked up and realized she was at the library. Maybe she needed an outsider’s opinion, and since Emma didn’t want to go to her parents with this, she reasoned that Belle would be a good choice. As a friend to both Killian and Emma, Belle would have to have some kind of insight, and hopefully her friend would be willing to share. Emma checked once more up and down the street, noticing it was quieter that it’s usual sleepiness, but ultimately decided to go in and see Belle.
“Emma! I didn’t expect to see you today. Everything alright?” Belle asked and Emma nodded before considering and shaking her head.
“Actually no. I was hoping to run something by you. It’s about Killian. Something’s up with him and I was wondering if you know what it is.”
Belle appeared stricken at the blunt question, and Emma instantly knew that she’d touched on something. So it wasn’t all in her head then. That was simultaneously a relief that her instincts were still working, and utterly terrifying because now she was scared of her husband keeping secrets from her.
“There is something, Emma. But before you get carried away with worrying you should know it isn’t bad.”
Emma let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding when she felt the truth in Belle’s statement. Secrets weren’t great either way, but as long as Killian was safe and he wasn’t leaving her, Emma could cope with anything.
“Was I that obvious?” Emma asked, attempting a smile and Belle returned it.
“Oh I don’t know. Some people just go simultaneously pale and rigid like that all the time.” A beat past before Belle and Emma both started laughing, and Emma felt the tension leaving her shoulders.
“I just want to be there for him, you know? Whatever’s bothering him it should be our burden to bear together,” Emma said, her voice quiet but still filling the empty library.
“I understand, Emma, and I can promise you that the answer you’re looking for is coming. Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if he mentioned it tonight, and when he does try to see it from his perspective, okay? He means well. You know he’s always looking out for your happiness.”
Emma smiled, loving that Belle was absolutely right. There was no need at all to question Killian’s motives for anything and if Belle was convinced that the secret might be good or at least harmless, then Emma could wait. It would simply be hard because usually Emma never had to wait, not when it came to Killian.
“Thanks, Belle. I think I’m gonna head back to the station and cut out early.”
“You think that’s the best idea?” Belle asked, surprising Emma with the sharpness of the question.
“Yeah. Some days you just want to be home, and today is one of those days.” Belle’s features softened and she smiled.
“Feel better Emma. I hope it all works out.”
Emma thanked Belle and headed back to the station. She arguably could have used her magic to get from place to place, but Emma enjoyed the brisk chill in the air around her and the fact that though things were feeling slightly tumultuous in her life, the sun was out and shining. By the time she was nearly back at the house, though, Emma was once again wary. She hadn’t passed a single person on her walk home and usually she couldn’t stop running into people and getting bombarded by their worries or complaints. To have so much quiet was good for her to work through things, but it was weird for this town. Emma made a mental note to figure that out later and then she walked in through the front door, preparing to call out to Killian and Henry.
“Guy’s I’m-,” Emma looked up and dozens of faces were staring back at her with decorations everywhere, and across the living room was a huge sign that read ‘Happy Emma Day!’
“Surprise!” Everyone yelled then and Emma realized that it must be a surprise party for her birthday that was still a few days from now. Looking at all of this she wondered how she didn’t guess that this was what Killian was up to, and then she felt the tears in her eyes as her parents and Henry moved forward.
“We know it’s early, but Killian thought it might be best to have two celebrations, one for your birthday on the day of, and one for the anniversary of when you came to Storybrooke,” Henry said.
“You mean when you brought me here, kid,” Emma responded as she pulled her son in for a big hug and he laughed.
“That too. Don’t worry, Killian got my favorite cake from the bakery. He said I’d earned at least that with all I’ve done for this family.”
The tears in Emma’s eyes threatened to shed at that, but she shouldn’t have been so taken aback by words like that. Killian was constantly giving Henry his due, and there were few people in Henry’s life who gave her son that much encouragement and respect as he did. It was a beautiful thing to see, and as a mother it was one of the things she found sexiest about Killian.
“Are you surprised?” Her father asked her and Emma laughed, some of the tears spilling as she did. Before she could say that yes she was shocked to see them all here, her mother answered the question for her.
“Of course she’s surprised David, look at her. But you shouldn’t be Emma, because all of us love you and for once we thought it would be good to do something for you instead of you doing so much for us.”
Emma appreciated those words more than she could say and she hugged both of her parents and gave her brother a kiss too before moving away. The need to see Killian right now was too strong, and she found him, smiling at her from the doorway to the kitchen where he leaned against the wooden frame. He was watching her, just watching to make sure she enjoyed herself, and Emma moved to him, pulling him down for a kiss right there in front of everyone.
It couldn’t be too hot and heavy, it couldn’t even really hint at where Emma wanted to go with her husband right now, but it was a taste of what they’d have later, when this wonderful party and these festivities were behind them. And Killian knew that too, Emma was sure of it when she pulled back after the kiss and looked into his blue eyes. They were shining brightly, with all the love she felt mirrored in those clear blue pools.
“You did all of this?” Emma asked and Killian looked like he was about to deflect and give credit to the others when Henry called out.
“He did ninety five percent of it. The rest of us just tried to distract you or picked up paper plates.” Henry’s words made everyone laugh and then Emma turned back to Killian.
“I did a fair amount,” Killian replied and Emma grinned widely. Though she knew her answers by now, she still had a few more things to get off her chest.
“This is why you’ve been on the phone so much? Why you’ve had weird hours and keep running late to things?” Emma asked, though it was more a rhetorical question.
“Aye, love. A party for you demanded a proper amount of effort, though I should have known you’d be aware of the other calls on my time. And as for that blasted phone, you know I hate the bloody thing, but it was worth using it every damn time to see your face when you walked in.”
Emma ran her hand against his cheek, loving the feeling of being here in his arms and in this home they’d made together. Surrounded by the people who loved her most, and the friends she’d made in this crazy town in Maine, Emma felt truly at peace, and happy in a way no one deserved to be.
“I love you, Killian,” He responded with one last light kiss.
“And I love you, Emma. But I did promise Henry we’d get right to the cake. I’m sure you approve of his eagerness. That love of dessert is a family trait after all.”
Emma nodded and that set everything else in motion.The night went on and a great time was had by all, but when everyone was gone Emma and Killian sealed the beautiful memory of this day with the love that they shared together upstairs in their bedroom, away from the rest of the world.
And the next week, when they all were celebrating Emma’s birthday, it was Emma who had the best gift to give Killian: the knowledge that their wish had been granted, and that in eight months time that new baby that they’d dreamed of would be showing up and joining this wonderful family now and forever.
…………….
This room's so quiet
I can hear the sound of silence
Right here in your arms
And I'm falling asleep to your heartbeat
It's just you and I
Shadows in the passing headlights
And I think for a moment
You won't let go of me
But suddenly that bright blue
Is glowing in this dark room
You turn away like I'm not here at all
Why don't you put that fucking phone down?
Darling, so we could be alone now
Can't you just be here when the lights go out
Why don't you ever put that phone down?
What could be so goddamn important
That it can't wait until the morning?
You got me right here with my clothes off now
Why don't you put that fucking phone down?
Yeah, the first thing you do
Is when I reach out my hand to touch you
Are you hiding something from me?
'Cause you moved when I get close
Oh, I hate that bright blue
It's glowing in this dark room
You turn away like I'm not here at all
Why don't you put that fucking phone down?
Darling, so we could be alone now
Can't you just be here when the lights go out
Why don't you ever put that phone down?
What could be so goddamn important
That it can't wait until the morning?
You got me right here with my clothes off now
Why don't you put that fucking phone down?
You're killing the moment
The window is closing
It's only supposed to be two of us
Put that phone down
Please, put that phone down
Now I'm feeling awkward
It's actually torture
You're making a fool of the both of us
Put that phone down
Please, put that phone down
Why don't you put that fucking phone down?
Darling, so we could be alone now
Can't you just be here when the lights go out
And just put that phone down?
What could be so goddamn important
That it can't wait until the morning?
You got me right here with my clothes off now
Why don't you put that fucking phone down?
Post-Note: Oh fluff. I just really love writing fluff. Anyway thank you to the lovely reader who asked for more surprise parties. Love love love getting to write worried Emma and then tearfully happy Emma. It’s always a joy. And it never hurts to just throw an expectant Emma and Killian in there too, because baby fluff is just fantastic in my book. Also thank you to all of you for reading and I hope you have a great rest of your day and a wonderful weekend!
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38, Part 39, Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45, Part 46, Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53, Part 54, Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60, Part 61, Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68, Part 69, Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75, Part 76, Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83, Part 84, Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90, Part 91, Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98, Part 99, Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103, Part 104, Part 105, Part 106, Part 107, Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112, Part 113, Part 114, Part 115, Part 116, Part 117, Part 118, Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123, Part 124, Part 125, Part 126, Part 127, Part 128,Part 129, Part 130, Part 131, Part 132
