It's time to own it. It's been happening slowly over the past two years. The open ended question that smacks me in the face every day. Now What? I even address it with this very blog - The Secret Ironman. It's no longer a secret and I did in fact become an Ironman and within seconds after crossing the finish line - Now What?? Let's see, I've been Marie Flores, Marie Parmele, Marie Quevedo and then - Now What? I've struggled with dropping the married name mostly because it's the Q to my Marie Q. But the more time that passes, the less people remember me as that. Marie Q was my business name, my photographer name. But I no longer have the studio - Now What? I still consider myself a photographer but not to the extent that I was before. I'm just not sure if that is my identity. Runner - no more. I mean I still run. It hurts, but I run knowing my days are numbered. I no longer identify as a runner. Now What? Mother - I've struggled with this identity since I had The Little Athlete. And now, she'll be gone in a year and a half. And I question a lot of what I have and haven't done as a mother. She and I had some really tough conversations in the past year and I know those are her truths. The way she sees our relationship, I have never seen myself in that way. Abandoned. And while the men in her life have in fact abandoned her - I have not. But that's the word she identifies with me. And that hurts. Come next May, she'll be on her own and my role as mother will be significantly down sized. And then she may in turn abandon me. She leaves and then - Now What? I've been to the highest places, and I've learned to swim across the sea.... Now What? This is a Mid Life Crisis y'all.... Now What?