thinking about the chemical restraint scene in Project Hail Mary and how much that made me think about watching my friends be physically restrained the same way Ryland Grace was. watching a 14 year old girl get pushed to the ground for "misbehaving" (being a teenager in an unexpected situation who just wants to go home) and watching a 45 year old man get pushed to the ground for "not cooperating" (being a teacher in an unexpected situation who just wants to go home) giving me almost the same reaction shook me to my core.
Eva Stratt telling him "Please don't make this harder for me," felt like every authority figure telling me i had a choice but when i picked the one that wouldn't happen, they forced me into a situation i didn't want and i didn't choose. Eva Stratt is such a difficult character for me solely because she embodies everything I fear. A lack of autonomy. Grace was told he had a choice. He didn't.
"Please don't make this harder for me." Don't send me away, I don't know how to be an astronaut! I'll be good here, I promise. I'll be good... I'll be good...
Ryland Grace was told he had a choice in being sent away, but the choice was already made for him. this happened to me, it happened to my peers, it happens to everyone.
"Please don't make this harder for me." Don't send me away, I'll be good! I promise! I won't cause trouble. I'll be good.... I'll be good....
Ryland Grace, the patron saint of the troubled teens.
also i know grace isn't 45 but gosling is and i need people to know that he is 45
Can you explain more how you turn bratty defiant patients into docile cooperating ones?
Sure! Chemical and Physical restraints are a big part of that process. I’ve found that most patients just need to understand that they have no say in their care once they walk in my door. The only thing they can control is their behavior; thus deciding how pleasant of a stay they have. While I do love a well behaved plaint patient there is something exhilarating about having a bratty, defiant patient to break. And it is so rewarding to watch a patient go from needing a muzzle to eating pills out of my gloved hand.
While every patient is different and requires individualized care here’s a basic treatment plan for an aggressive patient:
Physical restraints 24/7 unless chemically restrained. Some cases require both together to not hurt themselves trashing about attempting to get out of their restraints.
I continue providing compassionate care, they have to realize that while they have no chance of evading their treatment it’s because I am doing what is best for them. You need this. It’s normal for patients to fight back the first couple days of their admission so I don’t take it personally. Within a week of confinement most patients can be granted some smaller freedoms, such as having their upper body unrestrained for leisure time between treatments, although I do have one long term patient who still has not earned that privilege so it just depends on the patient themselves.
Another thing I find helpful is sensory enhancements to necessary treatments and procedures, an example I’ve discussed before is the preparing of tools in an ice bath before insertion. Another common one is diluting a small amount of something like tiger balm or bio freeze in the lubricant for a gyn procedure. If a patient is having trouble grasping that I am the one in control these small additions of corrective sensory input such as these seem to work well in hammering in their position under me.
Once a patient realizes they are not going to be successful in an escape and that the treatment they receive is much kinder and gentler when they obey, they tend to calm down and accept their position as a patient in my care.
I really enjoy reading your takes on the show. I find your views to be grounded and so well thought out. I especially liked what you posted about TK and Carlos’ physicality in their relationship. Something I’ve noticed, though, is a lot of people talk about in 2.12 how Carlos was “holding” TK after TK pushed him in the firehouse. Please forgive me for using your asks to get this off my chest, but it bothers me that people don’t seem to realize Carlos was not trying to hold TK, he was RESTRAINING him. He’s a cop, and he’s trained to restrain people, and he felt forced to do that in this situation with his boyfriend. I’m not going to try to examine who was right or wrong or what drove each to react in the ways they did. But I wish people wouldn’t talk about that hold like it was a loving touch. It was a tactic to deescalate a physical altercation. Carlos was being a cop. That scene was so uncomfortable to watch, not just because it harkened back to a season one TK who lashed out physically on multiple occasions with both strangers and nonstrangers alike; but also because of the way Carlos put TK into that hold. It was hard to watch for me. Sorry this got away from me and got so long!
Hi Nonny, no worries! That scene is intense and is a very divisive moment in the fandom. It’s hard to rewatch because of the direct contrast to how TK and Carlos normally are with each other and how they are in this scene.
Will say I am an educator and have been restraint trained 13/16 years I have worked in education. We use restraint and hold interchangeably and so I do sometimes. Therefore, hold can be affectionate or something else when I say it.
That scene isn’t affectionate. I can’t speak to the type of restraints taught to police officers but that isn’t an official restraint we would use in schools. The positioning is not safe for either of them TBH. But also the police do not have safe restraint policies in general and that’s why so many people die in police holds.
The line for me crosses from professional to intimate (but not romantic) when he leans in to whisper into TK’s ear to calm down. Professional restraint standards, that’s too close and inappropriate.
But yeah, in general it’s a very sad scene. Everyone loses and it’s hard.
Star Trek AOS, Kid!fic. (Len is about eight, and struggling with his new diagnosis)
Leonard growled in frustration and struck the side of his head with one hand as he scowled down at the homework in front of him.
A hand shot out from beside him and pulled the hand from under his head, and held it against the table. "We don't hit-"
The boy jerked his hand away. Her hand was too cold, it sent an icky tingling sensation through his arm. It was hard enough to do his work when his brain wouldn't think right. "I don't like that."
The tutor reached for his hand again. "I know you don't like homework-"
"No!" He snapped. "I don't like you holding my hand. I don't like to not move. Your hands are too cold, it doesn't feel good."
"Ok," she nodded. "I'm glad you can tell me you don't like it, that's good that you know that, but can you tell me that while you look at me?"
Leonard deflated, dropping his pencil. "Why don't people just believe me?" he moaned.
"What do you mean?"
He half turned toward her, but couldn't seem to bring his eyes from the table. When he tried it, it felt like something was trying to squish him. "You always say that if I don't look at people then they'll think I'm rude or lying but I try really hard to look at you and you don't believe me. It makes it hard to think when I have to look at faces."
"It'll get easier with practice," she assured, resting a hand on his arm.
Len jerked his arm to himself. "I don't like that! Your hand hurts." The bad feeling tan through his arm making the pushing feeling in his chest worse.
"I didn't touch my that hard-"
"No. It's cold. I don't like it," he tried to explained.
"That doesn't make any sense-"
"The cold makes it hurt!" He flung his arms down into his legs. They were starting to feel tingly, like when his leg fell asleep.
"Please, don't interrupt me. That's why it's important to look at people when they talk to you. So you know when it's your turn. Try again." She tried to turn him, but the boy wiggled away.
"It doesn't work!" He shouted tearfully. The bad feeling was spreading everywhere. "You always look at me and you never listen! Looking doesn't work! You don't listen when you look. You said people believe you when you look at them, but I don't believe you! You always look at me, but you don't listen!" Tears were starting to run down his hot cheeks, even his head was starting to feel bad. He didn't like it.
He just wanted it to go away. He slammed his palms into his legs hoping it would make the tingly feeling go away. But cold, sharp hand clamped over his wrists. Leonard tried to wriggle fear, but it was hard to think when his whole body was icky and tingly.
He heard a voice saying something, but he couldn't understand it around the prickles in his head. And his arms hurt. He just wanted it to go away. He wanted the sharpness around his wrists to go away. He wanted to stop feeling like everything was asleep. He wanted someone to believe him that sometimes thinking was hard.
He struggled as the sharp cold pulled him from his chair and pinned his arms over his chest and wrapped him in a not-hug, and tried to make him be still.
He tried saying he didn't like it. He wanted to be let go. It was all sharp. And didn't feel good. He didn't like it. He didn't like it. He didn't like. He just wanted to be let go. It didn't feel good. Everything felt bad. He just wanted to be let go.
His throat hurt, it felt like when he was sick and coughed to much, but it was better that the icky tingling feeling. He tried to the too much coughing feeling bigger so he could think about that instead of the sharp feeling or the everything fell asleep feeling.
"Len?"
The boy peeled his eyes open to find his daddy's hand held out to him. Len hiccuped a little and crawled to him. His daddy was always warm. He could make the sharp feeling go away.
David carefully wrapped his arms around his son and rocked a little side to side, trying to comfort the distressed child. There would be time to figure out what had happened later. For now, he simply let his little boy rest in his arms, thankfully he felt safe enough to do despite having so recently been pinned down in a restraint. He kissed Len's head, and made a silent promise that things would get better, that he would someday find people more understanding, and accepting of him. His chest ached a little, and he hoped he wasn't lying.
Really, I don't feel the passage of time at all. I find myself trapped on my back, unable to shift as you've secured me for my hours of rest. My hours of silence. I know you keep me chemically restrained, too. My head is heavy, my mind is floating in the clouds as my body is stiff. I would hurt myself pulling against my bindings, so, I was told it is for the best. Despite my reduced status, I still intend to defy you. I wish so badly to cry out that I'm well. That my will is still my own.
Your care is cruel, Doctor. Even so, I find myself broken again and again on your table. I have no choice as my legs are parted. Secured in the stirrups, my form is but a calf offered up for what feels like sacrifice. My mind, body, and spirit each break and tremble at your hand. Your therapies and examinations undo me. I exist only where you wish me to, kept between anguish and ecstasy.
I wonder, Doctor, will I ever be well again?
// absolutely adore your writing btw. Lock me up in that godforsaken basement sometime, doc!
I’ve read and re-read this piece so many times today. Truly a breath taking view into the life of a patient! How tiresome the routine must be, waking up strapped securely on your back, being roused for treatments and routine testing, being left alone with nothing but the same four walls and your groggy thoughts to comfort you. Wondering if/when you’ll be well enough to be released from my care. But it’s for your own good, isn’t it? You try to believe the doctors when they say so, but it’s not as if you have much resistance to give. All you can do is sustain each treatment and therapy, no matter how much you wish to be elsewhere.
Yes my care often feels cruel, but that’s your illness speaking. If you were well surely you’d see the reasoning for your confinement. For end endless hours of torturous treatments. For the medications that make you feel so detached from yourself. If you were well it would make sense. But you’re not well, that’s why you’re here.
Despite how much you might wish to resist. Despite how you despise me, I will never cease to provide the care you ever so desperately need. I will stop at nothing to ensure you follow all treatment protocols, no fighting or pleas will stop me from doing what’s best for my dear patient. Yes, I hope you will be well again one day, but not to worry, if not you can remain in my care however long is necessary.
~Uno reverse because I cannot get enough of your writing! Your blogs actually were part of what inspired me to take the leap and create my own! Just visit my clinic and I’ll show you around the basement lab, but be warned, you might never be allowed to leave! Seriously this was such a beautiful piece of writing, one I will be coming back to read again and again. You have such a way with words, my beloved poet of a patient!~
