24 • 07 • 25 11:59 pm
Thursday recap
Hello there! It's been a few weeks but as I'm still on vacations i don't really have many interesting things to write about
I'm writing this late because once again i have many mixed feelings about it and, to be honest, right now the bad ones are overpowering the good ones
The thing is this thursday i finally had the meeting for the choosing of the place where i will spent my internship year. And eventough i already knew i would be the last one on the list to choose i inevitably made a little list of the places i would like to work in 😞
But at the end of the day, the vacants open were the exact same number as us, meaning that me, being the last one on the list had no choice but accept the remaining one
And look i know there are not bad places, actually this is a really good and big one but the problem is .. that it is in another city. I don't even in my wildest dreams thought in moving cities much least in my last year of college
And again it's not even the city, the city is a very pretty one, it's not even far from my hometown it's like two cities away from here but i don't have car to move as i wish and i don't have the resources to come and go every day, economically i wasn't ready for something like this and i don't want to be a burden for my family. And it's not just about the money but also.. leaving, i feel helpless about the fact that i have to change my entire routine and let down the people that leans on me right now, i won't be able to go to the gym every night with my little sister, i won't be able to walk my puppy every sunset, my kitties won't have anyone who accompanies them to sleep at night and my mom, i won't be able to recieve her with dinner everyday after work. I just can't stop thinking about everything
And i know it's a big opportunity but i can't help to feel mad about it because everyone had a choice but me, i just had to accept it and move on
I feel bad for dumping all of this here, but i don't really have anyone talk about this because i don't want to add to the worries of my family and friends, i'm sorry :(
Good night everyone, i hope i can come back in a few days with a more positive mindset
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I really wanted to come here and upload this one for days but i was just really mad and sad and i felt like i couldn't express myself good trought my own words, a few days have passed since all of this happened and honestly i feel a little bit better because a few things have happened since then, i will write all about it on my nexts updates - 04/08/25