So, I opened this acc just a few days ago and since then I've been wondering what my first post should be like, and after a long think, I figured out it would be good to start by introducing myself so, here I go...
Hi! i'm blue, that its not my real name but for some reason I took that nickname to my online persona a looong time ago and now i'm really attached to it.
Currently i'm 22 yo
INFP
English its not my first language (spanish is), so expect a lot of grammar mistakes lol
College student
I like a lot of things, few of my favorites are biology, anatomy, physiology, the moon, reading, learning languages, learning new things in general, being alone, drawing, rainy days, long walks, road trips
I think I rather tea over coffee
I consider myself a cat person but i love all kind of animals
I enjoy a lot listening to music, some of my favorite artist are: chase atlantic, the neighbourhood, p!atd, blackbear, halsey, melanie martinez, lana del rey, the 1975, troye sivan, taylor swift, selena gomez
Also i'm really into kpop my favs are: bts, ateez, txt, enhypen, new jeans, le sserafim and ive
I casually listen to tokyo hotel, envyyou, palaye royale, yungblud, conan gray, hayley kiyoko, always never, hey violet, &team, tripleS, mamamoo, taemin
disclaimer! - I think its important to note that i'm not aware of the life or career of every single one of these artirst, so if they've made something problematic please know that I don't support their actions
I do reallyyy enjoy watching cartoons, my favorite genre are fantasy/mystery/adventures, kind of like gravity falls, hilda, the howl house, star vs the evil forces (if you have any recs please drop it here)
I like anime, but i havent really watched a lot
I'm in love with spookycore since I was a child (I don't know if something like this exist or if I just made up the word but i hope you get what I mean 😭)
I like watching series but i'm super bad at it
This is not my first acc here on tumblr but its the first time that I will try to active use it
I think that's all the important things that come to my mind right now but if i remember or new things pop into my life I will add it here.
If you have any questions, you can always hit that button (that btw i still dont know how to edit it for it to say something hilarious like some of yours here does)
Finally, if someone reached this far, thanks for reading! :) 🍃
Hey! i'm back with another update this is nothing academic related and it's more like lore into my life, it's pretty long but definitelly it's something that has to be included in my journal so i will leave it here
So, i went out again ...
Which is crazy because as i told you before going out at night is absolutely going out of my comfort zone and i would do such a thing just with the people i have 100% trust in, my best friends and this one wasn't the case, but let me tell you how this all happened and how it went
So all this mess started the sunday prior, i received a text from one of my side wall neightboors we will call him M, asking me if he could do me a question, i didn't saw the text 'till monday but well after a short convo he randomly asked me if i ever been into a club, i told him yes?? so he asked me if i wanted to go to one this friday (big parentesis to give you a little context, we know each other since we were basically babies bc well, we live next to each other and since we were kids i always thought he liked me, but again we were kids so i never give it much importance, then we grew up and our interactions even tought much less i always felt them weird.. he's always giving away this coqui and polite persona, reason of why i always thought he still got a crush on me, but at the same time i felt like i was seeing things that didn't exist because yearsss have passed since then and maybe he is just like that 🤷🏻♀️ but you will see why i'm telling you this later)
In the past he has invited me to few parties before but at the end i end up declining giving him diferent excuses because i don't think i would feel comfortable :(
So i replied that i wasnt sure if i could because i had something to do the next day (which is true!) but i could text him back in the week to let him know, to which he answer with a 'yeah no problem'. Next morning (tuesday) he sent me another message telling me that he was sorry to bother me but he needed to know if i could go because the people offering him the tickets for the place needed the names of the people going (i totally saw this as a signal and scape goat) so i told him to don't worry at all, i totally understeand and since i couldn't really give a confirmation to him yet, i rather him invite someone else so he doesnt lose the place, but either way thanks for the invitation.
Fastfoward thursday morning i got another message from him telling me that the person who was giving him the tickets granted him extra time and was letting him pass her the names for the reservation until that day and with that he also told me our other neightboor we will call him L was going too ... Babes... I was sold, this is the moment to confess that i've had a ginourmous crush on this other neightboor for yearss and last time M invited me to a party and i decided to don't go, later i found out L was there too and i regreted not going so bad 😭 so when M told me he was going i was weak ..
Still i decided to answer to his text until later to give time for the destiny to decide for me, who knows maybe if i responded later M would tell me 'sorry i already gave the names' or something like that, but that didn't happened ..
I told him i was sorry for answering late again and he told me not to worry,
so you want to go?
Fine, lets go then :)
Great! we were planing to go to x bar first
So i will pass for you at 8 okay?
Yeah, that sounds good
See you then, thanks!
And like that, the tiny bit of peace that i owned left my body, my friday night was compromised.
I was worried because well, going to a club means going to dance, thing i only feel comfortable doing with my closest friends not with my crush and the guy i think has a crush on me so i was more than mortified
Friday arrived and first i had a date downtown with one of my best friends to have lunch, i told her the plan of the day and as she lives around the place we were going later at night she told me that if things got too uncomfortable i could totally crash out at her place (i love her so much for this!) she also eased a lot my mind about the internship matter and gave me a tons of tips (i really love her so much i don't know how i got this lucky to have her in my life 🥹)
Later that day i arrived home just in time to get ready for the later plan, i dolled myself up and honestly i felt so really confident
M sent me a message that both of them were already outside, i thought we were going to take an uber to the place but no ... L was driving
Babes..... the driving thing is still pretty new among my friends because most of us still don't own a car so that is a thing that is still insanely attractive to meeee *insert here that one image of the wolf ripping off his shirt*
And well i told them i was fine taking the backseat (definitelly more comfortable to me since i havent spoken to any of them in a long so i could just exist while they talk) but no, they sent me front, passager 🜲 seat (i was going crazy :d). The chat started fast and simple, 'how have you been?!', L offered me his cellphone to play music, i sincerely never feel confident being the dj because what if they don't like my music and i'm just forcing everyone to hear, so i always use my weapon 'do you want to hear korean music?', with this one people generally back off and someone else offers to play something diferent and i'm not asked again 🙂↕️ but L just said 'yeah if you want to, i had no idea you liked korean music, i havent heard a lot but i like it too' i was like fr?! he also mentioned some artist he has heard, but i decided to don't go down that rabbit hole for now. To this point we were the only ones taking so i felt bad and sent another question to include M too
A few minutes later we were already downtown heading to the bar, both of the places we were going were downtown but a little bit far from one another so L decided to park near the second place we were going so when we had to go it would be easier. In that moment i was glad i was in sneakers
When we stated walking i was shivering eventough i had my jacket on, i don't know if it was because it was windy or bc anxiety was starting to kick in again, M noticed and hugged me by my shoulders, i know it was out of politeness but it felt weird jsjs
While walking there L walked behind me or by my side and when this happened he always changed places for him to be on the side of the road and when crossing the street he held me by the waist and again i know this is for politeness and the bare minimum but i was all butterflies by this point
At the bar it was just the three of us for a while, we keep a steady convo, man i was so shy to do eye contact with L so most of the time i was just looking at other directions while speaking 😭 but i just couldn't help it
Like an hour or so later two other friends of M arrived, a girl and a guy, M went outside to look for them and in the mean time L and i were left alone at first we stayed silent but then we found a easy topic to talk about
Going back to the girl and the guy, they were nice! , the girl was so pretty and soo tall, remember what i told you before about being glad of wearing sneakers? well i doubt it there for a moment, she was like 30cm taller than me jsjs, did i mention to you before that she was pretty? because she was pretty, later while talking we found out about everyone ages with L and i being the oldest at 24 and the pretty girl being the youngest at 20 (you will see why this is important later)
Anyways, we hang out at the bar for a while the pretty girl and i got along really well and as she and M were sat together in front of me i noticed that there were smiles lasting a little bit too long and whispers in each others ears, which relieved me a lot because maybe there was something going on between them and all this time i was reading M in the wrong way right?
Something important to mention here is that M keep saying that everything that happened that night stayed there and at that i thought he was just being dramatic because he is the kind of person that says corny phrases all of sudden like in american movies yk?
We finished and started making our way towards the second place, the club. Boyyy when i got up from my chair at the bar i was dizzyyy but other than that everything fine, i tried to mask it the best i could because mom raised no weak
We arrived at the club and the classist ass security at the front didn't let the other guy friend enter just because he was wearing bermuda shorts L and i were the only ones staying behind with him to try to solve it but at the end he decided his night ended there :( So that made just four of us
Once inside, the place was still half empty but it was still early so understable, the illumination inside was ass, strobe lights everywhere i thought i would end up blind. In some point M and the pretty girl dissapeared for a few minutes and came back later. We all danced for a while M trying to cheer everyone, holding our hands up while dancing, screaming lyrics together, etc
In some point pretty girl asked me to acompany her to the restrooms again and ofc i went, and before we leaved to come back to our table, she stopped me and asked me if there was something going on between M and i and i was like 'noooo why would you think so?' and she told me it was bc when M and her dissapeared was because M pull her aside to kiss her, when she told me that i felt a bit relieved bc that means i've been reading all the situation with M in the wrong way right? but my calm didn't last long bc she inmediately proceeded to tell me he also asked her if she would get mad if he tried to kiss me. She must have read the confusion writen all over my face bc she went to clarify me that they were fwb i was like nooo don't worry babe, he is all yours, she also told me she felt a little bit insecure when he told her that and i was like bby noo you're literally so pretty, you don't have anything to be insecure with me (this was literally that moment everyone talks about when drunk girls cheer each other up in the club bathrooms 😭) but in a more serious note, i fr don't understeand the hability of fuckass ugly boys to make pretty girls feel insecure. But well i assured her that no, i didn't have any intentions to kiss him if he tried and that there was nothing going between us but a friendship
We came back to our table, the boys asked if everything was ok, maybe bc we took too long jsjs but yeah, we keept dancing and maybe not more than 20mins later M in fact tried to kiss me, but thanks to the previous warning i was able to avoid it, he holded me by the chin and tried to close the space between us but at the moment all i could think of was that skam scene where isak dodge a pretty much drunk eva and i did the same 😭 i just said 'oaa whats going on' and took his hands to dance jsjs, i could swear i saw a faint smile on L's face not saying it was because of me but maybe bc he was seeing his friend getting rejected in real time
A little bit later M came close again to say sorry and i told him everything was good no worries, but the reality was that i just didn't wanted things to get awkward bc we still have to share a car back home 😭. Being honest if the situation was other and it had happened i don't think i would have reacted that good but i guess at the moment i was just happy he didn't succeed
He then excused himself to the bathroom and pretty girl got close to ask me what did he told me, i told her and also thanked her for the warning bc if not, must probably i would have fell into the trap, she also told me she got a little bit jealous when it happened and again i told her there was nothing to be jealous about. Then again she asked me that if he offered me a threesome, would i accept? .. broooo my jaw went straight to the floor, i was like bby NOOOOO and she was like good i didn't feel ready for something like that either.
This babe definitelly needs better friends or better advisors i'm telling you 😭
But well night keep going on, M and pretty girl kept dancing, perreando to be exact and now they didn't hide to kiss, and i mean, good for them i just feel bad for pretty girl but i hope she knows what she is doing
Not long after i saw L playing the bill and asked him if everything was fine, he told me yes and that he was leaving and if i wanted to leave with him, i didn't had to think twice
We four exit the club but M and pretty girl parted ways so it was going to be just L and i at the car..
I was not drunk but definitelly tipsy, the way you're not able to think more than two fingers ahead of you so i couldn't answer as i wish for some things he told me, like with more mental storage i swear i could have responded better :(
As soon as we got in the car he offered me water which i gladly accepted bc i was still worried my mom noticed i was tipsy because yess i'm an adult but i don't like my mom seeing me in that state
We both confessed that those kinds of clubs aint our cup of tea, nor the music and either the ambient but none of us had the heart to tell M about it, bc after all he was the one inviting us
I don't know what got into me but suddenly i told him i knew M was going to try something because pretty girl told me but it was okay and i just felt bad for pretty girl and he asked me why so i told him because i feel she is too young and i just hope M is not taking advantage of that, he told me that in his opinion they're both adults so they know what they're doing and sometimes having an older partner can be a good experience because they can teach you a lot (i know he was not flirting nor talking about us in here, he is just two months older than me, so he was most probably talking about his personal experience) i just told him okay to that honestly i didn't wanted to discuss over it and i didn't felt in the right mind to defend my point
He asked me again if i wanted to play music but at the moment i couldn't remember any song, i should have played one of my playlist so he could know i have good taste and save it for later 😔, but he told me not to worry and played one of his
One of the other things i remember he told me on the way home was that 'one of the things he remembered and liked about me was that i was pretty good at english' ( i short cicuited when he told me that 🫠) later in the conversation he also offered me to go to the gym with him but because i'm not sure of my new schedule i couldn't accept for now but still thanked him 😔
The ride back home felt pretty fast, when we arrived he opened the car door for me :(((( and walked me to my house
When saying our goodbyes he hugged me and wished me luck on my internship and told me not to worry too much and that after all, the best clubs are in that city and maybe invite him later .. babes..... when i tell you that was the exact moment i, for the first time started seeing moving cities in a positive light since the meeting, like i know it was most probably an empty promise but still, butterflies all butterflies
As i mentioned before, L paid the bill at the club it was one bottle but still, i'm not comfortable with him carrying all the price and when we were out of the club i told him to please pass me his bank acc to give him my part but he denied, i still want to, but when saying our goodbyes i totally forgot to ask for it again 😭
So now, my plan is to try to talk with him again with that excuse and idk maybe casually ask him out just if i don't chicken out
For the moment im finishing writing this a week has already past since then, i've been thinking a lot about everything that happened and i can only conclude two things:
1. I still have a ginourmous big fat crush on L, but now it feels somehow different, like calm? more real, less delusional.. I don't know how to explain it
2. I really hope that M didn't use all of us just to try to have fun by himself. I really want to think he is not a bad guy
Regardless of everything, i think it was a good night, i finally got the answer to some questions, i reconected with one friend and discovered that i can actually be comfortable in his space, i feel like all of it were steps foward and that i would definitelly regreted it so much if i didn't go out with them that night
This one was pretty messy and most probably will come back to edit it later but for now thats it
Hello there! It's been a few weeks but as I'm still on vacations i don't really have many interesting things to write about
I'm writing this late because once again i have many mixed feelings about it and, to be honest, right now the bad ones are overpowering the good ones
The thing is this thursday i finally had the meeting for the choosing of the place where i will spent my internship year. And eventough i already knew i would be the last one on the list to choose i inevitably made a little list of the places i would like to work in 😞
But at the end of the day, the vacants open were the exact same number as us, meaning that me, being the last one on the list had no choice but accept the remaining one
And look i know there are not bad places, actually this is a really good and big one but the problem is .. that it is in another city. I don't even in my wildest dreams thought in moving cities much least in my last year of college
And again it's not even the city, the city is a very pretty one, it's not even far from my hometown it's like two cities away from here but i don't have car to move as i wish and i don't have the resources to come and go every day, economically i wasn't ready for something like this and i don't want to be a burden for my family. And it's not just about the money but also.. leaving, i feel helpless about the fact that i have to change my entire routine and let down the people that leans on me right now, i won't be able to go to the gym every night with my little sister, i won't be able to walk my puppy every sunset, my kitties won't have anyone who accompanies them to sleep at night and my mom, i won't be able to recieve her with dinner everyday after work. I just can't stop thinking about everything
And i know it's a big opportunity but i can't help to feel mad about it because everyone had a choice but me, i just had to accept it and move on
I feel bad for dumping all of this here, but i don't really have anyone talk about this because i don't want to add to the worries of my family and friends, i'm sorry :(
Good night everyone, i hope i can come back in a few days with a more positive mindset
.
I really wanted to come here and upload this one for days but i was just really mad and sad and i felt like i couldn't express myself good trought my own words, a few days have passed since all of this happened and honestly i feel a little bit better because a few things have happened since then, i will write all about it on my nexts updates - 04/08/25
actually i love growing older and learning how i work as a person like realizing what kinds of fabrics feel best on my skin or what brand of yogurt i like best or how I want to be touched. watching myself change, enjoying brussel sprouts when I used to hate them as a child, understanding why I got angry in that one conversation 10 years ago… there are so many mysteries inside me that i have yet to unravel and there will always be more and sometimes i think maybe its all worth it
Suddenly everyone decided to have their birthdays in june
Just kidding jsjs but for real just noticed a ton of people's bdays it's in this month (including myself ofc! Also, much love to my fellow gemini and cancer out there 𖹭.ᐟ). Today i had two places i had to go
First, one of my college friends did a little reunion in a restaurant downtown to celebrate his birthday. And eventough downtown is my is my favorite place to go out for dates because there are a lot of pretty and aforable places to go, i have never go to this one restaurant and i really liked it, the place was pretty, the food was good and the company even better 𖹭 plus i think the place is pet friendly because on the table behind me there was a super cute puppy
However, i could only spent a little more than half an hour with them because i was already late for the second place i had to go, initially i was planing to get there on bus but i got caught with my friends and i runned out of time so i better took an uber there
Second place was again a karaoke bar, this time to celebrate my boy-bestfriend's birthday (again i don't know this new obsession with karaoke bars but well, they're fun 🤷🏻♀️), when i arrived i found my friends already in line out of the bar, for what i know the place is new and really popular, we went there with one of our friends from highschool and her friends; once we got inside the place was crowded! eventough we had a reservation, we ended up in a table for four people (we were 8) so we just standed the whole time and more people keep arriving (definitelly not a place for claustrophobic people) a little later my bestfriend asked me if i wanted to leave and better go to another place and ofc i agreed
The night was still young and there we're still buses working so we took one to save some money. We went to a club downtown, i've never been there but still he had told me he wanted to take me there a few times before. We spent the rest of the night there it was so so so fun, i knew most of the songs the dj put so we sang and danced along all of them together. I drank my first bottle of beer by myself (is not that i didn't tried it before, but i really don't like it, this was just acceptable) and as it was the last saturday of pride month and the club is a queer club, there was a drag queen's show tonight, no other words to describe it but ⊹₊ magical ₊⊹
Again we stayed there until it was time for the club to shut (3am), when we leaved i felt how my hearing decreased a few levels 😆 we walked a few blocks to go eat tacos at a place nearby. And that was basically the end of the night :)
The experience of going with your queer friends to a drag queen club on pride month i 100% recommend to don't skip it
I don't live this kinds of adventures every weekend so eventough the date already past i want to include it in my silly journal ˙ᵕ˙
Last week was my bestfriend's birthday but as it was in the middle of the week she decided to celebrate it until saturday, she and one of her friends who also bday was on the week combined the celebration
So the date was at night, i went to my bestfriend's home so we could arrive to the next place together, first we went to a karaoke bar with more of her friends i know all of them and they're all really nice so the vibe was nice as well. We stayed there for a few hours, ate and had a few drinks and she got to sing trice, all the time i was cheering the loudest for her from the table, it was really fun
Later we all leaved and i thought it was all for the night but oh boy how wrong i was, we went downtown to continue the celebration in a club i had already go there once, exactly a year ago now that i think about it and it was also to celebrate our birthdays together (my bestfriend is an extrovert with an introvert friend so i just trust and follow her 🫠) i also had too much fun there
We decided to go home around 3am, the time when the club shuts and also because the other bday girl was already wasted lol. As the entire night rained pretty hard i didn't have the heart to call my mom to pick me up from her house and also because of the time, so i stayed with here (deep down i knew that was going to happen 😆) the only problem was i didn't bring my things to sleep over but we solved that later
Next morning she woke me up early (9am but for someone who fell asleep at 5am it should be a crime!!, but well she's a morning person and this happens everytime we sleep together so i already expected it 😭) because she was hungry and dragged me to the street to buy tacos. When we went outside it was still raining and got worse when we were waiting at the stand so eventough we got an umbrella we still managed to get wet (reason of why now i have a cold 🥲), still not complaining about anything, that breakfast was a 10/10.
And well that basically resumes the adventure so i will finish here :)
Good night everyone, i hope you too get the chance to experiment and go out of your comfort zone once in a while (but with the right people please!!) take care and rest well 𖹭.ᐟ ✨
I had big news on this day, it's just that with everything going on at the time i also forgot to post it here, but as a part or my journal it's important for me to be stated here
So, my professors decided to don't make our agony last longer and for us to have one less worry and be able to peoperly start vacations
Today they gave us our final note of the subject and... i pass!!!! 🥹 you really don't know how much i waited, prayed and worked to finally be on this step. Aproving this subject means that i'm officially on my internship year aka the final year of my career
I know little me (2 years ago) can't believe we are finally here and that all the sleepless nights wondering if we would be able to make it, the anxiety and crying were worth it
For now all that is left is to wait for mid July when the meeting for the choosing of headquarter to do the internship is scheduled :)
I will enjoy my vacations, i have so so many plans i postponed for years that i want to finally make :))))
For the ones who read this and are always cheering for me, thank you so much 🥹𖹭 reading your post and being able so see just a little window of your academic journey really motivates me a lot to study just as hard as y'all do
Tonight i can sleep with a light heart and i hope you can do it too ₊⊹
Good night everyone, rest well and have sweet sweet dreams 💛✨
Note: I want to add that i actually wrote this the day the exam went on, but for some reason i forgot to update it and has been sitting on my drafts all this time and i noticed it just now 😭
I can feel this will be a long update again, i'm sorry
Today was my final exam of Clinical Practice and hopefully my last academic exam from the career 🥹. Again there is a lot of mixed feelings about that because ofc there is this relieve of finally ending this but at the same time nostalgic because wow i can't believe that all this years of curricular worries somehow end here?! I still don't completely process the idea and maybe later this will feel like a bruise
About the test... well, we had pretty much time to prepare for it (a little bit more than a week) and for that reason i felt like this sense of responsability to have to do well on it. I would love to say that said time i got under lockdown and studied, but the reality is that i started just this weekend
I wish i had administrated better my time because still this morning i was rushing trying to fit more concepts in my mind
About the dinamic of the test... it goes like this: the professors who teached and supervised us in this subject/headquarter (5) are divided in four different módulos (for visual purposes, all of this was in a big room with smaller rooms inside, all of them conected by a station in the center) in each we had to do different procedures, first when we enter the room the teacher hands us a paper with the record of our patient and at the bottom the instructions of what they need us to do, the patients in each station are real people but they're actors so they're ready to answer questions and fake pains and complains 😭; in this occasion i have to say, the professors were pretty generous with the time, they gave us 12 minutes per module and we had to enter in groups of four and just rotate the stations everytime the alarm went off.
In past semesters i have to confess we had the opportunity to cheat a little because once someone finished the exam and went out of the room we interrogated them to know how was the exam, what we had to do, what did the professors ask etc etc, but of course the teachers knew this happened outside so this time they decided to do some changes and made us stay in a waiting room outside the place of the exam, the ones who finished leaved for another door and we didn't get to interact again because we also had to leave our phones inside our backpacks in another room 🫠
For me, the first station was a patient with a transfemoral amputation, (it was a rag doll 😭) i had to do it's physiotherapy diagnosis and then explain precautions i must have before giving them a treatment according with their record, then demostrate the procedure to do a correct bandage on the amputatėd member, and finally explain a treatment i would do to increase strength on the member. For this station i felt my diagnosis was a disaster because i was so nervous i forgot to mention a lot of things and some of the terms i had to use plus i'm not sure if i got to finish explaining my treatment because the alarm indicating the time went off
Second station, this one had a real person as a patient, i had again to do her physioterapy diagnosis after reading her record, i had to ask her a few questions in order to finish my diagnosis (i felt like i did better this time) and then do a treatment to help her gain core strength and stability, she was in a wheel chair and my creativity on the spot only lasted me enough to indicate two excercises 🥹 so at the end i had so much time left; but i felt the girl who was playing the rol of the patient was so kind with me
Third station was with a pediatric patient, for this one the actress was the mom and the patient was a doll, after reading her record i had to do the anamnesis for the perinatal history, then demostrate with the baby how to value two reflexes, for me it was moro and babinski and mention until which age it's normal for them to be present, i said the age of one of them wrong 🥲, also answer the random questions the mom had about the baby, the valoration and her worries and again i felt like i had too much time left at the end
Finally for the last station it was with the Dra. (i always adress her because she has been one of my teachers since the first semester of the career, and she actually also was the coordinator of the career at the time, she's a person that imposes me a lot but with the time i have learn that she is actually pretty gentle and that she just acts like she does because she really want us to become the best professional version of ourselves) in this one was with a neurological patient in the ICU after reading his record i had to explain what one of his patologies was: hemopneumothorax i explained it wrong because i said air insteand of blōod but i just noticed it as i'm writing this 😭; then mention again the parameters i must be cautious about to do an intervention according with his state (which i'm also just remembering i forgot to mention the most important one, the intracraneal pressure screamssssss 😭) and finally do his valoration. For the simulation there was a sound of the hospital monitor in background (you know the typical beep beep beep that indicates the heart rate .-.) so in the middle of my valoration it started going much faster and i had to call a "doctor" (another actor) who was outside the room to help stabilize it (i knew the drill because they did the exact same thing for the exam last semester 😮💨) after he helps with it the doctor introduced himself and asked me if i could help administrate certain treatment for the patient and i told him that just let me finish my intervention and i would see what i could do about it, but when he left the room i explained to the Dra. that i couldn't do what he asked me for because the administration of what he asked me to do was contraindicated for his case for all of the other several injuries the patient had on the place he indicated me, and the Dra. told me 'of course, thank you!' ; the actor patient was unconcious for his rol, but after i said that to the Dra. i saw him giving me a little tumbs up without her noticing it (he was so cute for that 🥹 and i felt so relieved and sincerely that helped me gain so much confidence to continue) still i didn't get to do much after it, and i didn't finish my valoration because the alarm went off. Again i didn't do perfect on this module but at the same time i didn't feel like a lost case
In general i'm aware i didn't do perfect in this exam and i had several mistakes which i have to improve but eventough i feel so much more confident now than how i felt for the last semester's final exam
I have hope things will going to be alright :)
If you reached this far i'm sorry it was too long or boring, but thank you so much for reading 𖹭
A few years ago i still felt like i needed to do something special in this day, like going out somewhere or a radical change in my routine to considerate it a special day, but after we went through the horrible pandemic years it made reconsiderate everything i'm my life and i felt so lucky to even being able to wake up knowing my loved ones were okay. Since then every night i try to be grateful for everything in my life the good and the bad things because i know those are supposed to be in our paths teach us leassons and to help us grow
In special days like today i'm just incredibly happy to be alive and be able to celebrate being with the people i love the most 𖹭
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Today was a long day in the best of the ways, i feel super tired and i'm basically typing all of this with my eyes half closed, but i couldn't say good bye to this day before coming here to add one more page to this journal on this special day (i will most probably come here again tomorrow to edit this messy post and add more) but for now i will stop here :)
Good night everyone, once again i hope your day was just as amazing as mine or even better; rest well! ✨
Today was a really good day. I went with my family to a baseball game of the local team, it was so fun and i enjoyed a lot being there with them
Turns out today was also the birthday of the team's mascot so they invited the mascots of all the other teams of the country to celebrate, so in between the game the mascots did a lot of dinamics and made the environment really fun
Tomorrow is also my birthday, so my aunt went to the locutor's cabin and asked them to congratulate me, in other situation i would be super embarrased for it but in a stadium full of people, nobody knew it was me so it was fine and i vibed with it, a very unic experience 𖹭.ᐟ plus everytime they sang happy bday for the mascot my family pretended it was for me 😭
But well, i just wanted to share this little piece of my life. I for real love and appreciate my family so much and i'm incredibly grateful to have each one of them in my life 🥹
Good night everyone, i hope your day was just as good or even better than mine, rest well! ✨
Npt if you would like to try it: @apologiesforthecreatures @eve-will-perceive @mer-acle @amethyst-zephyr @kitty-meowskers @evermorecatra @immadatdisney2 @icantrememberwhoiwaslastdecember @please-be-nice-im-sensitive +open tags :)
(Yesterday!) I've been a little bit lazy with my recaps, but before more time goes by like last week here i go
So eventough practices ended uni proyects and exams hasnt 😮💨 so yesterday i had the oral presentation of the case of one of the patients i had the opportunity to work with when i was still in the hospital's rotation
Honestly i was a little bit worried about this presentation because eventough i have been doing well with the test of this subject, getting a good note on my presentation means that i don't have to super worry about my grade on the final
I worked on this presentation for probably half of the semester, it had to be short, under 10 mins 😭 (i always joke with my friends that on the first semesters of the career our struggle was to make our presentations last 30 mins or more depending the subject and the teacher, but now it's all the other way, that and the fact that i'm terrible at summarizing), it also had to be clear and concise.
In the presentation i had to talk about the clinical background of the patient: previous diseases, surgeries, transfutions, etc? what happened? how many days were them hospitaliced in the ICU? what is their diagnosis? and the one of the rehabilitation area? how does all of their pathophysiologies corelate? what was their state the day i evaluated them at the hospital? Based on that, would i do an intervention? If so, what would i do as it's treatment? All of this clearly scientifically referented in APA 7°Ed™ hshs
And still my biggest struggle once i finished compiling the information was the time 😀
They sent us the night before the order in which we would be presenting, my turn wasn't until 1:30 pm so i relaxed a little bit because i still had the morning to rehearse. I decided to arrive early in the morning at uni so i didn't have to worry for the time later, i hided on one of the empty aisles of the uni so i could rehearse out loud, always with my chronometer in hand.
Oh, we also had to dress formal for it, so i assaulted my mom's closet for it bc i don't have none of that. But there i was heels and everything
For the expo, we entered one by one and our only audience were the Dra. and the four professors (all of them physios) who teach us and acompany us in the practices. As i said, i was supposed to enter at 1:30 but for some setbacks i ended up entering until 4 pm 💀
I don't know why my leg started trembling like crazy in the middle of my presentation i just hope none of the teachers noticed it 😭, but other than that i think i controlled my nervous pretty well
I didn't get to finish on time, the alarm went off when i still have left one slide :( but i guess the teachers let it pass. At the end of the presentation they only asked me about two things in my treatment and i tried to justify it the best i could but idk, i sincerely don't expect a perfect grade but i think i didn't do it that bad :) honestly i'm satisfied with the way i did it
With that, there just left the final test which is in two weeks (a compilation of everything i learned in the career) so i have a s* ton to study
The way back home was entertaining to say the least, at the bus station the sir who was in line in front of me asked me something and that lead to a conversation that ended until i arrived to my stop an hour and a half later, now i know the story of his life 😃
Back at home, my puppy and i went on our walk and then to the gym with my sister, when we left it was raining hard but we didn't had an umbrella, not even our hoodies so we get wet on our way home luckily none of us catch a cold
And well, once again i think this update turned long enough so i will end it here
If someone reached this far, thank you so much for reading this mess ֶָ֢ Good night everyone, rest well! ✨
This will most probably be a long update so if you want to skip please do, otherwise brace yourselves :)
This was a long week that leaves me with it a sweet and sour aftertaste. So much happened this week and i don't totally know how to feel
Starting strong with my wednesday, this time it was an special practice day for two reasons
1. It was exam day, second partial to be specific, for this one, we had to aply the treatment to one patient of the teacher's election; first tell her about the diagnosis of the patient, what is it?which precautions should we have with them?, then explain why we would aply that technic, what it consists of and what dosification we would work with and finally aply it with our patient, explain to them what would they feel, what should they do or how to do the excercice.
For some reason i didn't feel nervous about it, of course i studied beforehand but i didn't felt pressured i felt ready)?
When my turn came it took me totally off guard but maybe it was better that way because i didn't even have the time to enter in the nervous mind set, the teacher just came and told me 'you ready? :D' and i was like 'no, why for? :o' and she 'for your exam, it's your turn, here read the record of the patient and i need you to aply the treatment for this and this, let me just go really quick for a pen and i'll be right back :D' and then i just stood there like ':D'. But at the end it all turned of so well, i didn't get too nervous, the patient, Mr. J was so friendly and kind and we get to finish on time. On the feed back my teacher told me she noticed an improvement from the last time she aply a test to me (last semester), she also gave me some tips on things she would do insteand but that in general i did great, i got 9.5/10! :), i definitelly wasn't expecting that grade
She also asked me for feed back about her, but i didn't have anything i would like her to change, we may have not talk a lot, but she is always so kind and cheering for us, so i just thanked her for it. We need more teachers that inspire us and help us progress, not emotionally destroy us 🥹 (i've already had a handfull of those)
2. It was also the last practice day, not only of the semester but for the career as well. This has so many layers, and eventough i'm happy for reaching this far i can't help but also feel super nostalgic about it. So many years of feeling anxious waiting for the wednesday's practice's to come, end here .. it feels really weird
I really tried on not going too deep in this thought for days, but as i'm writing this is just inevitable
With this thought in mind i really enjoyed this last day, i tried to be less nervous, ask more to the physio in charge of me without being afraid if the questions was too dumb, listened more and tried to interact with the patients as if i were the most extroverted person. I really tried to do the most out of this day, and i did :)
And at the same time there was this feeling of finally getting one less thing on the list
(being honest i teared up a bit while writing down this)
The way back to campus felt really light, the atmosphere on the bus was cheerful because of this feeling of last practice day, and because every one in the rotation achieved a good grade on their respective test
The way back home was not as agonizing as other days, once i reached the bus station i got a call from my mom and told me she was already home from work that cheered me up even more
When i got home it was clear my social battery reached negative numbers so i unintentionally fell asleep on the couch, i woke up like an hour later and my mom and i ate together, then took my puppy on her walk, got back, went to the gym with my sister and back at home between other task i disconected one more time for like another hour before finally going to sleep
And that was basically all for the day..
I originally intended to write down the rest of the week, but i feel like all of this is already a lot and honestly i feel a little overwhelm so for now i will end the update here, maybe i'll write the rest later on the week
Thank you so much for reading this mess. Good night everyone, rest well and have a good start of week! 🌼✨
