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This will not get finished today nor will it probably ever get finished bc full time jobs are a thief of the human spirit but I made a sketch and that's good enough for me. Today is the day i commemorate casually going to see a shrek spinoff movie with the conviction that i was safe from becoming a furry after 22 years of not being one and then i walked out an hr and 45 minutes later incredibly humbled and touched by a surprisingly earnest, poignant and stunningly gorgeous work of art— all this is to say; happy anniversary my love, even on my worst days you make me feel like a princess in my own perfect fairytale 🖤

#puss in boots the last wish #pibtlw #pib2 #puss in boots death #sidhelobo #self ship #this is super sappy i dont care though #ive had him on the brain 24/7 lately and i just needed to make something for today even if it was something small #as much as i wish i could say thisll get finished its not a guarantee #id def like to though #but once again we are all being held prisoner by capitalism #and im no exception im sad to say #this movie really did change me in a lot of ways #a lot of good ways #and has been here for me in a lot of really bad moments #i owe so much to it :')#absolute number one comfort movie atp #and you must believe me when i say that's quite an honor of distinction

As incredulous as i am at ethical bug for taking 3/4 of last wish to conclude that *maybe* jack horner doesnt actually appreciate the value of a life i have to acquiesce at the very least that he most assuredly figured this out faster than death did watching puss die literally 8 times before finally being like "yea okay thats it last life privileges are getting revoked" like if im honest its quite remarkable he kept his cool for as long as he did bc if it were me i truthfully would have snapped by the 3rd or 4th life, babe you have the patience of a saint i genuinely could never

#puss in boots the last wish #pib2 #pibtlw #puss in boots death #puss in boots #ethical bug #jack horner #in all practicality he probably didnt think about him that much over the years #isnt as if death exactly has trouble padding out his schedule hes got a lot on his plate at any given moment #its probably more like death would be doing his job per routine and occasionally a puss death would interrupt said routine #and it was just one of those recurrent annoyances that only got more annoying over time #and he finally said ive had enough of this dude #a lil belated on the reaction babe but again i have to commend the restraint

Good news everyone my mail order bride (custom commissioned death plush) is finally here i think i know what i will start with when i give my thanks come next thursday can i get a hellyeahlujah fuckers im glowing

#puss in boots the last wish #pibtlw #pib2 #puss in boots death #yeah i did this i spent money on it #i dropped a fair bit of quid on this #several dollars even #im going to kiss and hug and kiss and hug and kiss and hug and big smooch him forever #wedding reception will be held individually at your own homes quietly and without telling me #i will be taking his hand in holy matrimony tonight #save the date (dont)

Following the conclusion of every viewing of last wish the high tapers so to speak and after coming down by the end of the credits im left with a sad sinking feeling in me as I hug a pillow wishing it was him or at the very least that I got to see more of him, which is a very normal reaction to have about a fictional character. i am not well, anyways

#pib2 #pibtlw #puss in boots death #will tonight be a night i fall asleep cry pining for this wolf probably #my heart is so restless #i yearn so badly for him #this world is terrible i want him to take me from it #which doesnt necessarily mean i want to dead just that i want to be where he is #i want to hitch a ride back to shrek world with him #i am speaking at a podium to an empty room of metal folding chairs #thank you all for having me #truly humbling to be here before you all

rather tickled by the implication that jack horner dying nearly immediately after death dips from the dark forest post-final battle means death had to just like turn his little coffin go kart around and come right back to collect his soul minutes later and this was probably very annoying for him; perhaps it was the hands of fate that allowed for jack to be placed in the time-out nanny bag dimension just long enough prior that he wouldn't get to witness the awesome grandeur of the climactic gay duel alongside everyone else. And, yknow. for being arrogant enough to assume that a title like death could

—ever—

be applied to him in earnest by anyone who's been within his general proximity this entire movie least of all famously favorite fearless hero puss in boots who prior to this lacked such a sense of self-preservation that he let himself be fired out of A FUCKING CANNON confident that he would somehow come out perfectly intact and be renowned for revolutionizing travel

#puss in boots the last wish #pib2 #puss in boots #puss in boots death #jack horner #like to imagine him grumbling angrily under his breath often as he does his job day to day bc no one can ever die a normal fucking death #my love pulled the ultimate short straw as far as fictional worlds to be canonical grim reaper to #but yeah the timing of this sequence of events is fun to parse in retrospect #i too would be tetchy and quick to anger under these work conditions

As with any movie i have a specific and personal partiality towards there are a great many scenes in last wish i will recite along to perfectly with my whole chest complete with a mimicked inflection every single time but no quote more so than in the introductory jack horner scene in the 1st act where we get, in the most obscenely loud nasally dipshit ass voice "Y'KNOW IT TOOK A LOT OF MURDERING TO GET THIS MAP, IT ALL STARTED—" from one of the serpent sisters, easily a top 5 line in this whole movie for me which is quite the honor of distinction if you ask me

#puss in boots the last wish #pib2 #pibtlw #jack horner #serpent sisters #this line has it all its peak humor and the absolute intrigue of giving exposition that is then never elaborated upon whatsoever #bc jack horner just completely sweeps it under the rug #t w i c e #she mentions ''the amount of murdering'' twice so you can tell she really wants to talk about it #i think about this line so much because so much is implied that we ultimately never get to know #fucking fantastic #dreamworks was straight up like ''nah you dont need to know where the map came from not important''#''its shrek dw about it its not that deep''#BUT HERE'S THE THING I WANNA KNOW WHERE IT ALL STARTED #REGALE ME WITH YOUR FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE SERPENT SISTER NO. 1

Do you think jack horner was the kinda kid people hated enough not to invite to things even out of obligation the guy doesnt even show up on the movie poster for last wish, death has half the screentime he does and gets literal top billing on the upper-left corner PERRITO'S FUCKIN —SANDWICH— MAKES IT INTO THE DESIGN PERRITO'S SANDWICH HAS A BETTER FAVORABILITY RATING THAN JACK HORNER

#puss in boots the last wish #pib2 #pibtlw #jack horner #its no great mystery why everyone hates this guy but like #i just cant imagine being so universally abhorrent that even the people making the movie youre in dont wanna acknowledge you exist publicly #is it bc he's only from a nursery rhyme #goddamn the nursery rhyme exclusion really does run that deep in shrek world huh #i know death's gotta be on the poster he kinda drives the entire narrative #but jack horner is def a big part of the story too #id argue like... the biggest genuine (or i guess conventional) villain without contest #goldie & the bears are sympathetic villains and death is... a force of nature having a temper tantrum #jack horner is just an entitled little bitch boy #i guess i can see why he doesnt get poster privileges #like he grew up with loving parents & stability & and a mansion & a thriving baked goods enterprise for him to inherit #why should he get to also take this for granted

Death really taught puss a free fuckin masterclass lesson in accepting humility, confiscated his rapier 15 minutes into last wish and then said he could have it back at the end of the school day if he passed his final test. damn if that anklebiter didnt leave with an a- tho, good for him i think we'd all have hated watching puss be expelled from life forever

#puss in boots #puss in boots the last wish #pib2 #pibtlw #puss in boots death #i just think its really funny that puss awkwardly dances around with excuses about why he doesn't have his sword the entire movie #this cat is so above admitting weakness that he let himself be internally tormented like that for god knows how long #its such a nondiscussion by the end of last wish too #death shows up out of nowhere imparts his wisdom to puss #and then kitty and perrito are like oh. thats why you were acting weird this whole time #cool glad you got that straightened out #live and learn pal glad you didnt get atomized by the fucking grim reaper

#pib2

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