Summary: The reader and Wanda find a way to better cope with Pietro’s disappearance.
Tags: @iamtheonewhocares Thank you for the creative request!!
I hope you enjoy!
“We’re not keeping it Y/n.”
You continued hot on Tony’s trail, cradling the little ball of fur in your arms.
“But Tony! We can’t just--leave him out in the cold and..rain..” You looked down at the kitty fast asleep against your chest.
“You SHOULD have left it in Florence, where you found it!” He continued on his path to his workshop, but mostly just to anywhere that was away from you.
You couldn’t help but feel as if you were testing your luck. You were dangerously new to the team, which meant your spot on the team wasn’t all that secure. But for the life of you, you couldn’t help but look down at it and not feel a tinge of felling in your heart. Something that just wouldn’t allow you to let it go.
Just as you were about to continue to plead your case, Wanda came up behind you and placed a hand on your arm.
“Don’t worry Tony, I will take care of this.”
She eyed Tony as he stopped and turned around. Looking back from Wanda’s stern eye’d face to your wide eye’d expression, he rolled his eyes and waved the two of you off.
Now gripped with fear, you held the kitty closer to your chest away from Wanda.
“Listen--” You began to plead, “I--I can take care of him and no one--it will be like he’s not even here. Just--”
“Y/n!” She said in a hushed voice. “I completely agree, now lets find a place for this little one to stay.”
“Oh,” You sighed, “Okay, yeah--yeah lets do that.”
Not an hour later you and Wanda had put together a makeshift bed underneath your bed, fit with a barrier and gate for you to let him in and out of. Just to avoid suspicion, Wanda kept the kitty liter in a box in her closet.
“You think we can get away with this?” You asked, flipping the kittens short stumpy tail through your fingers.
“It’s less about getting away with it and more daring Tony to even try to take him away from us.”
She stroked the kittens head as it drifted off to sleep against her leg.
“I miss him Y/n.” You glanced up at Wanda but she kept her eyes low.
Not wanting to ruin any chance you had of getting her to share her feelings, you stayed quiet and waited.
She cleared her throat before she continued.
“It’s the worst feeling I have ever felt. I just want to know. Alive or dead, I would rather know which than be stuck in this stagnant waiting period.”
Her words struck deep with you, understanding what she felt all too well.
“There’s this feeling I get sometimes. This feeling that he’s out there, trying to get back to us. Usually it is fleeting, but one look at this little one right here and it hasn’t gone away since.”
You met her eyes as she finished, realizing she had just put into words the way you felt.
“I completely understand.” You said, hoping to provide validation. “Every time I look at it, I think of him. God knows why, but I do.”
“Well..” She said, gently picking up the kitten and placing it into his bed, “I’m off to bed. You should be too, It’s been a long day.”
You smiled fondly, seeing her out the door. Taking her advice, you switched off your light and climbed into bed, sleep finding you soon after.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before you unwilling forced yourself awake. It didn’t happen often, but when it did, you weren’t able to fall back asleep for hours.
You slowly rolled out from underneath your covers, allowing your eyes to adjust to the darkness. You yawned into a stretch and were on your way to the kitchen for a warm cup of tea, a tradition that you and Pietro shared after you’d found him sitting in the kitchen all hours of the night.
You started the water on the stove and reached for your go-to cup that you kept hidden behind the coffee maker.
It had been so long since you’d seen him, almost 2 months, but despite that you could still feel him. His heartwarming smile, his warm coffee breath. You still remembered when he would blow in your face. You would laugh and push him away but then he would poke your side and you would lose it all over again.
There was one time you had gone too far and hid his favorite shoes. He looked almost all day but when he couldn’t find them he ended up hoisting you over his shoulder and racing you around the tower until you confessed to where they were.
You had never laughed so hard in your life. Though he tried to seem frustrated, he couldn’t help the beaming smile on his face. You finally squirmed your way out of his embrace but before you could make your escape he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into his chest.
The heat radiating off of your cup of tea reminded you of him. It had become harder for you to find things that didn’t remind you of him.
The only thing you saw anymore when your closed your eyes, were his. So deep of a blue you felt as if you could drown in them.
Your mind was pulled to the kitten you had rescued, specifically it’s eyes. The reason you couldn’t let him go; the only connection you felt you had left to him.
“I think someone escaped..”
The voice behind you froze your blood. Your hands were wrapped around your cup but you couldn’t bring yourself to let it go and turn around. Your throat closed and water filled your eyes as you forced yourself to slowly turn around.
Pietro stood in the doorway of the kitchen with the little ball of fur in his hands. He brought it close to his face and looked up at you with a twinkle in his eye.
“We have similar eyes, no?”
You were speechless. Stuck questioning if he was really standing in front of you; questioning whether or not it was him or just your imagination.
He seemed to be waiting for you to respond, like he knew what was going on in your head. As he watched you in patience, you tried to find your voice, but as if he would disappear as soon as you spoke, you couldn’t decide what to say.
So instead of speaking, you moved towards him and grabbed his hand. He hadn’t expected you to but he didn’t say anything.
“Is it--” You ran your finger over his palm, looking at his body in front of you. “Pietro?” You said through chocked breaths.
“It’s me Y/n. I’m home.” His voice sparked something inside of you and you lunged forward and wrapped your arms around him.
He smelled different, but the way he held you close--you could never mistake that.
“How?” You asked through tears.
He held you tighter with every shutter.
“I tried so hard to get back to you.” His voice was behind you but you felt it in your soul. “Every time I closed my eyes I saw you. Longed to be with you. Just thinking about leaving you and Wanda alone here; There was nothing I wouldn’t do to get back here.”
He pulled away then, holding your with a hand to your cheek.
“To get back to you, Y/n.”
Through tears you smiled but unlike in the past, there was nothing keeping you from showing him how much you’d missed him. You pulled him in close by his waist and kissed him like he would disappear if you stopped.
He reciprocated your feelings times 10. This dance the two of you had been doing for so long finally came to an end. A purely delicious end that you couldn’t have been happier with.
Summary: The reader finds herself stuck between leaving a life she knows, for a life with the capacity to be everything she once lost.
Length: 7k+
Quotes
A/n: I promise Pietro’s in this story. I thought it very necessary to establish badass reader first though. Enjoy!
Maybe today wasn’t the best timing for all of this to happen. You thought, viciously scrubbing the spot of blood that was now beginning to stain your dress. If anything, you knew the patrons of this annual charity event would be pissed, but considering that most of them were quiet Nazis’, you didn’t really care. The chaos outside was incessant and drawing closer from the sound of nearing screams and gunshots. These guys just never knew when to take a break. Two years out of the field and they still hadn’t gotten over you.
It’s not like you hadn’t made a name for yourself though. 7 years you spent as the number one assassin in the world. (Not to brag or anything) Everyone knew you’re name; or at least the name you’d given them, and from that day on everyone knew you were the best at what you did. 7 years you spent working solo. Killing people, saving people, really just whatever the job required of you that day. Well it was really only 5 years solo, you didn’t count the years you spent with Mark.
With gunshots practically right outside the bathroom door, you picked up Auto (Semi-automatic) and slid behind one of the bathroom doors, not before tossing aside your bloody paper towel.
You took a breathe and readied yourself, gun in hand. You waited, listening to the whispers of the men outside the door. Without warning an armed team of men burst through the door and you were glad the bathroom was larger than most.
The team was smaller, after you had gotten the drop on them when they walked in the door. They definitely weren’t hard to spot. As soon as they walked through the door you took out three of them before needing to run for cover.
There were four now and they searched the bathroom in teams of two. Stall by stall they searched for you. Two had gone off to your far left, past the sinks, leaving the other two headed straight for you. Not wanting to waste anymore time, you waited as one of the men approached and then violently swung open the door, jarring him back. The others’ eyes went wide as you fired two bullets into the chest of his partner. You didn’t have time to hit the other one before he began spraying his AK in your direction. You dove for cover behind the divider that ran down the middle of the bathroom and waited for him to lose you.
Unfortunately, your gun fire alarmed the other two, drawing them closer. One walked around the corner, unaware of your position and you leg slipped him, sending him thudding onto the floor. You fired to shots to his chest and pulled his gun to you as the other three began to spray the divider with bullets. In the back of your mind you counted down until the shots halted and in one sweep you sprayed all three men with the AK.
“Damn.” you breathed out. You picked up auto and tossed the other gun aside. As you made your way out of the bathroom you glanced over in the mirror. A streak of blood, someone else’s blood, stained your cheek. You wiped it off with the back of your hand and tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear as you left.
Most of the people in attendance where long gone by now, which meant so was your target. This was one of the jobs you decided to take on the side. Just something to keep you entertained in the midst of your unorthodox retirement. But apparently you needed more of a plan than you came in with.
As you walked towards the front door you saw a black car speeding towards the building. Probably the back up team if you had to guess.
You considered making a clean break out the back of the building, avoiding the second team altogether...but what was the fun in that?
Auto had a few rounds left in him and you had strapped two more clips tot he inside of your calf for good measure before you arrived. The car came to a screeching stop in front of the blown open doors and all four doors swung open bringing four men with their sights set on you.
“Fuck it.”
You pulled your back up semi-automatic from your thigh and started shooting. Every bullet that left your guns found their target with ease. Armed with guns in both hands you strode toward the now broken back up team and finished them off. If you had to guess who sent them, it was Desmond. He’d had it out for you since his brother became one of your targets. It wasn’t like you had an option. His brother took something from you, and you’d fulfilled a promise when you made him pay for it.
But knowing Desmond, you knew he would have three more teams on the way which you didn’t want to deal with. You escaped to your car and left Germany behind for another day.
It’d been years since you had been back in the States but you figured it was the best place to lay low for awhile. The fact that no one you knew of wanted to kill you there was an added bonus.
Back in the States you were just Y/n. Most of your family had died when you were young, which worked when it came to your line of work. Less people to be used against you. No one that posed as a threat to you knew who you actually were back there. There was only one person that knew who you really were--what you really did. The only one you could honestly trust. Clint Barton.
There was a period of time when you found yourself in a bad situation. With no one else to call, Clint showed up and took you back to the States to stay with him. You were only 19 at the time so in the time you spent with him the two of you had grown close. After a lengthy recovery you went out on your own again, this time to Germany. You spent a few months there and then you heard about Sokovia. You decided the fight with Ultron was none of your business but when Clint called you last minute you knew it was serious. You came under the condition that no one else would know you were there. You agreed to snipe as many damn bots as you could, and that was more than enough for him. A few weeks later you found a message from Clint, telling you how you’d saved one of his teammates life and how he owed you big time; a favor you were now cashing in.
The dial tone rang in your ear three times before he finally picked up.
“Hello?” You smiled at the question in his voice as the unknown number came up on his phone.
“Clint. It’s Y/n.”
“Y/n!” He said in a whisper, “Is everything okay?”
“It’s fine.” You said, maneuvering through the crowded airport. “I just got into the city. I was wondering if you could set me up with a place, off the grid of course.”
“City, as in New York? Yeah! I’m uh--I’m sure I can find something for you. How long are you here?” His voice was bright. You could tell he was happy to hear from you, but now wasn’t the time to catch up.
“For awhile. I’ll give details later. But for now I need a place to settle in.”
“No, of course--” he paused, you heard a piece of paper tear across the line, “Meet me at..106 Riverside Boulevard.”
The taxi pulled up in front of a fairly nice building and you payed and thanked him as you made your way over to Clint. He was standing next to the building in a jacket and dark ball cap. It was fall so he blended in with the crowd, but he definitely stood out to you. He spotted you approaching and shot a wide smile at you. As you got closer he pulled you into a hug and then led you inside.
“It’s good to see you again kid.” He said, a fond smile on his face. Being 26 years old, Clint was 12 years older than you, which made up the older brother/younger sister dynamic the two of you shared. You met him when you were young and like a family member, he’d always been there when you needed him most.
“This place is much nicer than I had hoped for.” You said, surveying the lobby as the two of you walked towards the elevator.
“It’s nice, but there’s places much nicer than this, which means you should be safe and off the grid, like you asked.”
He grabbed one of your bags from and stepped onto the elevator with you. “Before you freak out, it’s a loft apartment that was on the list of SHIELD safe houses, but it was at the bottom of a list of 200 other locations in and around New York.” You stopped short of the door and stared him down.
“We had a deal Clint.”
He looked at you with wide eyes. His mouth was parted as if he were searching for a suitable explanation that he couldn’t come up with. “Y/n. No one knows--or will know that you’re here besides me. And I promise to keep it that way, you can trust me.”
It wasn’t ideal but it was all you had right now, and it was probably a lot of work for him to find you something this nice. You walked forward and opened the door, and to your very pleasant surprise, it was going to be perfect for you.
“We have a good time there. It gets a little political between Steve and Tony, but that’s how they always are.” Clint said, setting his glass down on the table.
“Want a refill?” You said, picking up the whiskey bottle you’d found in the bar.
“Nah I’m good for tonight.” Clint had stayed with you all day to help you move in your stuff, even though you didn’t come with much else than your clothes.
The two of you had been catching up for the last couple hours over glasses of whiskey. You told him about your time in Germany and he told you about life and missions with his new teammates.
“What were their names again?” You asked.
“Wanda and Pietro Maximoff.”
“And I--saved Pietro?”
“Yeah.” He said, messing with his empty glass that sat on the table. “I remember grabbing the boy and just, shielding him. I had to get the rest of the story from Wanda, his sister, but she said that right as Ultron started to shoot at Pietro, a bullet went straight through his eye. Though it didn’t stop him, it distracted him long enough for Pietro to tip that car and take cover behind it with me.”
You stayed silent as he finished. “Did you ever tell him?”
“No. I never told anyone. I stopped seeing it as a secret you wanted me to keep and as a secret you needed me to keep. It was life or death with your situation. The team only knows what everyone else knows.” He glanced up at you. “You’re just some badass, deadly, faceless assassin who kicks ass and takes names.”
His comment brought a smile to your face, thankful that someone understood a little of the life you lived.
“So you’re here for at least a year and a half--what are you planning on doing in that time?”
“Well, like you said. I’m a faceless assassin who’s on vacation. No one knows who I am, so I don't see any harm in meeting some of the team, maybe even helping out a little at the tower.”
A smile formed on his lips just as it did on yours. “You’re serious? This is perfect Y/n. I promise you won't regret it. I can introduce you as my niece or something.”
“Yeah, maybe.” You said, getting up from your chair. You picked up his glass and yours and walked them over to the kitchen sink. “Why don’t we cross that bridge when we come to it?”
He smiled and nodded as he grabbed his coat of the back of the couch. “Well you take as much time as you need. I’ll be back in a few days to check in but feel free to call before then.”
You walked him to the door and said goodnight.
Finally safe, and alone, you kicked out of your pants, shut the blinds, trudged up the stairs and crawled in bed. You knew it would take you a few days to feel at home here. in fact, it’s hard for you to even remember the last time you felt at home somewhere.
Like most nights, you closed your eyes and your thoughts eventually fled to Mark. With him was probably the last time you felt completely safe, completely home.
“If you take out these cameras here, and here, then I’ll be able to make it through the first floor with no alarms.” He said, with his ‘know all’ attitude.
You waited in silence for him to finish explaining how he was wrong and then explained your plan to him.
“Level one has five guards max. Two on guard outside the door. Two walking the hallways, and one in the security room. Less guards means less attention, so of course they would keep a minimal amount on the first floor. But that’s the problem,” you said accusingly,”I take out the cameras, and you get past the yard unspotted, but then you’re left with five guards all on high alert because their cameras have just been shot out.”
He opened his mouth to say something but stopped short. A small grin pulled at your lips at his silence as you waited innocently for him to respond.
“So, what should we do then?”
“Forget the cameras. Like I said, less security less attention. There’s two cameras here that survey the entire front yard, which means if you entire from the north in exactly...3 minutes from now and make it to the front door in 1 then I can take out the two guarding the door and you can make your way to the second floor where their keeping the Noc list.”
His silence told you you were right, so you grabbed your sniper and began to make your way to the roof of the building you were in. Before you could make it to the stairs, Mark grabbed your arm and pulled you close into his chest.
“You, were right,Y/n.” He spoke into your ear.
“Just what I like to hear.” You said, smiling up at him. And like he always did before a mission, he placed his hand at the side of your neck and pulled your lips into his. The kiss was brief but it said all it needed to say. He let you go and looked down at you as you grinned up at him. “You have 1 minute now.” You said, taking the stairs two at a time.
You turned over in your sheets in an attempt to fall asleep faster. Of all the memories you had with him, that was the one that haunted your sleep--the one that kept your mind wide awake on quiet nights like these.
Soon enough the two glasses of whiskey you’d drank earlier began to kick in and with every breath you were dragged deeper to sleep.
The sun came pounding at the living room window and you’d never been more thankful to have shut the blinds. You grabbed your phone off the bedside table to find two messages from Clint.
-Morning Y/n. Sleep good? Slow day today if you were thinking of coming by the tower.
-They asked where I was yesterday and I told them my niece was in town..so we crossed that bridge.
With little option now of avoiding the Stark tower, you rolled out of bed and got ready. Before you left you decided to sweep through the apartment one more time. SHIELD tended to arm their safe houses with surveillance cameras but luckily this one was clean.
You didn’t want to do it when Clint was here just to avoid his scolding, which is why you also waited to hide some of your guns around the loft until now.
One under the coffee table, one underneath the stairs, and another under the sink. Overkill? Maybe. But you’d rather be prepared than dead.
You sent a text to Clint telling him you were on your way and within 10 minutes you were pulling up in front of the tower. Auto was strapped to your inside jacket pocket and as soon as you walked in the front door you were greeted by a security guard with a metal detector.
“Morning ma’am. Can I help you with something?” He asked. His shoulders were wide and he was at least 5 inches taller than you were. Getting around him wouldn’t be an option, especially if you didn’t plan on greeting Clint’s team while simultaneously taking down their security guard.
You smiled and prepared to answer when a door to your left swung open. Clint walked towards you with a smile on his face and then he glanced at the guard.
“She’s with me Frank.” He walked forward and you followed. He scanned a key card he’d pulled from his back pocket and with a *click* the gate opened.
“Perfect timing.”
He glanced down at you and shrugged his shoulders, “I saw you pull up on the cameras upstairs.”
The two of you got on the elevator and as soon as the doors closed your heart began to beat faster. It’s not like you were in danger but when you were just Y/n you lost a wall that you’d had to keep up for so many years.
Clint noticed your silence and nudged you with his shoulder. “It’ll be fine.”
A second later the doors opened up into a wide open space with view windows from the floor to the ceiling. To your right there was a fully stocked bar and a sitting area and to your right, an open scale kitchen.
“Not bad.” You pointed out.
“Yeah, it does the job. Take the tour or meet the team?”
“Team.” Getting it out of the way seemed easier than waiting.
He led you down a back hall past the kitchen. You came up on what looked to be a Comm room and sure enough, you saw a group of people standing around waiting, and thanks to Clint, they were waiting for you.
The first person to notice you was Natasha. The first time you met her was with Clint when he’d brought you back here but she never knew anything about who you really were. To her you were just the niece of her best friend but that was enough for her to treat you like family.
“Y/n!” She walked towards you and pulled you into a tight hug. You couldn’t see it but she had a huge smile on her face. She pulled back and studied your face, eyes bright. “You’re not 19 anymore.”
“Just a little older now.” You said with a smile.
“Alright Nat, quite hogging her.”
She shot a glare towards Clint and stepped out of the way. Behind her stood four men, but since you weren’t completely clueless you knew their names before needing to ask for them.
Tony walked towards you with his arms wide, “You must be Y/n. It’s great to finally meet you.”
As he kept walking forward you quickly glanced over to Clint with pleading eyes, but your message not being understood, you reluctantly walked forward into the hug.
It didn’t last long but avoiding it all together would have been ideal. “It’s nice to meet you in person--All of you.”
Hoping your comment would stand in for any more hugs you took a step back next to Clint.
“I think you know most everyone, except the twins!” Clint beamed.
From behind the wall of men, two people your age stepped forward. The girl had long brown hair and bright green eyes. She approached you first with a bright smile.
“Y/n. I am so glad to meet you.” She walked forward and gave you hug, but this one you didn’t mind. From what Clint had told you, it was her brother that you’d saved, and for some reason you felt like she was showing you her appreciation.
“It’s great to meet you too Wanda.” You said with a fond smile. A second longer and she released you, leaving you face to face with who you assumed was Pietro.
His bleach blonde locks framed his face. His ocean blue eyes met your e/c ones and you smiled. Everyone’s eyes were on the two of you but you couldn't shake the off feeling you felt.
“Beautiful to meet you, Y/n.”
Tony smirked and you assumed he did so because of Pietro’s wording, but you ignored it.
“It’s nice to meet you, finally.” You cast your eyes down when that feeling came back to you.
“Clint. Uh, can I talk to you please.” You asked, walking out of the room without another word.
He followed behind you until you stopped in the kitchen. When you turned around you crossed your arms over your chest and looked at his innocent face.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on or do I have to guess because I’m pretty sure I can guess.”
He started to speak but then stopped himself. “I don’t want to lie to you Y/n.”
“Then don’t Clint.”
“Do you want to--” He said, motioning to a stool under the counter.
“No.”
With your interruption he gave you a sideways glance and took a deep breathe.
“I had to tell them Y/n.”
“Clint! I--”
“But, before you interrupt, I had no other choice.”
You were breathing hard now, unable to stop looking over your shoulder in fear of your safety.
“Y/n, the only thing that makes this team work is trust, and everyday I lied to them I was betraying the people I swore I wouldn’t.”
You didn’t respond.
“They knew something was up, as soon as that shot hit Ultron. If it hadn’t been for that shot then Pietro would be dead. And that’s not something people forget so easily...They know, Y/n, and they still welcome you with open arms, as cliche as it sounds.”
An emptiness that was all to familiar ate at your insides. You got up to leave but before you got far Clint grabbed at your wrist.
“Y/n! Just hold on--you don’t have to--”
Just as you were headed for the elevator Pietro stepped out from the hallway, blocking your path.
He hand one of his hands extended towards you and his eyes darted from Clint’s back to yours.
“It may not be my place. in fact, I feel as if it is not. But before you leave, you need to know that..” Pietro’s voice faded out a little as Clint moved towards him and released you.
“Piet, you don’t need to...”
“Y/n.” Pietro said a little above a whisper, regaining your attention. “If anyone here understands this, it is me and my Wanda. We know what it is like to be reigned into, stability. To be taken from our place of comfort and brought to a strange place.”
Your eyes softened as he spoke. The honesty in his voice unmistakable.
“I admit that I am still getting used to all of this, but I am getting there. And so will you, if you give it a chance.”
“I have no one to trust here, Pietro. And I mean no offense but I don’t, know you. Any of you, really.” You said wincing up at Clint.
“Clint is different for both us. You know him different than I do, but the Clint I know takes calculated steps when he makes a decision. He told us because he trusted us, and he, as it seems, betrayed your trust only because he knew you would be more safe with us than on your own.”
You didn’t want to admit it. Not one single bit of you did, but you knew he was right, and even if he wasn’t, you couldn’t afford to lose Clint.
But being the stubborn person you are, you also couldn’t let him off the hook so easily. It took you 2 weeks to even go back to the tower, but not before promising you would actually come back.
You’d been on your own for so long that it felt like it was the only thing you could be. If you were honest with yourself, being alone was easier--easier than placing your trust in 8 strangers.
“Give me a call when you get this..I’m not kidding Y/n. If you don't call in--5 minutes, I'm coming over there.”
You listened to Clint’s third voicemail and checked the time. He left it three minutes ago, so you figured since he would be making the trip to the loft any minute now, he could at least give you a ride to the tower.
True to his word, the clock struck 9:05 and he was pounding on your door.
“Y/n! Open the door!” he said, voice grave and deep.
You grabbed auto of the counter and picked up your bag from the couch and swung it over your shoulder.
“--If you don’t open the door I'm--”
Before he could finish you swung the door open, revealing a stern brow’d Clint.
“You ready?” You said, eyes wide.
He didn’t respond, just followed you down the hall towards the stairs.
“So what’s the plan today?” Clint had mentioned bringing you in during a few of the recruit training sessions but that’s all he said.
“Oh. Okay, so that’s what we’re doing then--no thats, that’s great I just wasn’t sure. Just gonna act like I didn’t call or anything.”
Hiding your smirk just enough for him to notice, you climbed into his car and shut the door.
A few minutes of silence and he finally broke it. “You’ll be helping out in a few sessions. But there, you’re just Agent Y/n Y/l/n. No one else needs to know anything.”
As soon as the elevator doors opened into the main room of the tower you were greeted by Natasha, Steve, and Pietro.
“Good to see you again Y/n. We’re really glad to have you with us today.” Steve seemed less intimidating stood next to you, much sweeter than someone in this line of work should come off.
“Same here.” You smiled. “I hope I can help today, I’ve never really done anything like this.”
“You’ll be great.” Natasha chimed in. “You’re probably just as experienced as us.”
The five of you walked down a flight of stairs and down to the recruit level. The class you’d be training today had about 30 recruits in it. Steve and Natasha usually took control of the training sessions so you weren’t the only one who’d never done it before.
“How did you sleep dragă.”
“Sorry, excuse me?” You said, captured in your own thoughts.
“Did you sleep well?” Pietro asked, now walking alongside you rather than a step behind.
“Yeah, I did. Uh thank you for asking.” You said with a smile. You didn’t see a need to continue the conversation so you continued behind Steve.
Ahead of you, Steve took a corner and you found yourself walking into what had to be the training room.
A room full of recruits waited for you and you would be lying if you said you weren’t a little nervous.
As soon as the five of you walked in the room the recruits stopped what they were doing and focused their attention on Steve and Natasha.
“Morning everyone. Like I told you yesterday, today we’ll work on the gun range and a little hand to hand combat dealing with armed opponents. Half of you will go with Barton, Maximoff and Y/l/n. The rest will stay here with Romanoff and I.”
The recruits dispersed and Clint led the way to the gun range. Thankful that you’d be starting at the gun range, you were able to calm yourself a little.
“Try not to show us up.” Clint said, whispering to you as he walked into the gun range.
As the 15 recruits filed into the room, the three of you took your place infant of them. The back wall of the range was filled with at least two dozen guns, all of which you had used at least twice.
“--We’re going for accuracy and speed. Especially when dealing with close range opponents, you need to be able to pull and fire your gun with accuracy, in very little time.” he finished.
“Like Barton here just explained,” Pietro said, placing a hand on his shoulder, “We’re going for speed and accuracy, both of which escape him as he gets older.” A handful of recruits snickered under their breath and you hid a smile behind a cough.
When you did, Clint glanced over and rolled his eyes.
“Why don’t we start with a demonstration.” Clint interrupted. “Y/n.”
You walked to the back of the room and took a gun from the wall. You looked to Clint for what to do next but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he walked forward with a black blindfold and tied it around your eyes.
“One of the most important things for you to be able to do is have a high sense of awareness. Awareness of your position and surroundings, as well as your enemies’.” He led you to your position and faced you towards the moving targets. There were only three of them bet their paths were randomized.
The gun range had a viewing room, where Clint, Pietro, and the recruits were, and it had what they called the arena. The outside of the arena was protected by bullet resistant glass for obvious reasons, and the inside was designed to perform even the most advanced simulations to help the recruits.
“Right now we have the simulation set on low. Three moving targets with random trajectories, unarmed.” Clint explained.
“Y/n’s objective is to eliminate each target before the 30 second timer runs out. It seems like a short amount of time but in the field, it’s anything but.” As soon as Pietro finished he turned towards the arena and kept his eyes on you.
“Whenever you’re ready Y/n.” Clint waited on your cue.
Inside the arena it was quiet, except for the humming of the simulation. Gun in hand, you focused in on what was around you, trying to remember the layout of the room. You remember seeing a few different places to take cover, and if you guessed correctly, you were positioned behind a half wall.
“Now.”
You gave the cue to Clint and then immediately heard a louder variation of the humming you’d heard before.
“Not many of you will get this on the first try. Most of you might not even beat the timer. It might even take Y/n closer to 20 seconds to--” Clint was interrupted by three loud cracks behind him, and short after, the timer beeped to a stop at 8 seconds.
You pulled the blindfold off your eyes and walked back out the door. The recruits were wide eyed and both Pietro and Clint stared at you.
“Everything okay?”
“Just fine.” Clint blurted after a moment of silence. “Uh, Carson, you’re up next, but just--uh remember what I said. About the time and stuff.”
You stepped out of the way and found yourself next to Pietro again, who had now taken an opportunity to explain the objective to a rather young female recruit.
“You think I can do it in 20 seconds?” She asked, lashes batting like a cartoon character.
A teasing smile made its way to his lips but as soon as he saw you approaching he visibly tightened up.
“Like Barton said, most of you probably won't make it the first time.” He shot you a side ways glance and focused his attention on the recruit in the arena but the girl continued to fight for his attention.
“I mean, I know what he said, but even you told me I was ahead of most--”
“You should probably get in line now. It’s almost your turn.” Pietro again focused forward, missing the hurt expression on her face.
A few moments of silence went by before Pietro broke the silence.
“Have you noticed any stand out’s?”
You narrowed your eyes at him and debated whether or not it was your place to say anything.
“Yeah, actually. The one you were talking to earlier, what’s her name? Jordan?”
Pietro visibly tensed as you said her name. “You, uh. You think so?”
“Well according to you, actually, she’s ahead of her class.” You said, an air of annoyance filling the space.
“That’s just, talk. Just something you say.”
“Hmm,” you mumbled, starting to shift away from him, “seems cruel to fill such young recruits with false hope. It’s probably best to keep the instructor/student relationship as just that, yeah?”
Without a word you walked away and Pietro’s eyes hardened as you did.
The timer hanging around Steve’s neck began to beep rapidly, telling him it was time to switch groups.
“Hey, I was thinking we switch groups and instructors, change it up a bit.” Steve offered, Natasha standing by his side.
“Sounds good to me.” Clint said, looking back to you for approval. You nodded your head and neglected to ask Pietro for his opinion.
Steve’s voice boomed throughout the room, announcing the group switch.
“--so if you two don’t mind, I’ll have you demo the hand to hand disarming before we start. Y/n, you can disarm Pietro and then demo a few different ways to get the upper hand.”
“Yeah, that’s fine with me--”
“Woah woah just--why does she get to disarm me? Why not the other way around?” Pietro complained.
“Just--it’s fine Speedy. Just go with it.” Clint ignored his plea and began explaining the exercise to the recruits.
The tension between Pietro was thick. Jordan, the young recruit, stood off to the side of the group, eyes focused on Clint and unintentionally finding Pietro. As you watched her, you felt a pain in your chest. Her slight obsession with an older, more experienced man was slowly eating at her, and you knew better than anyone where a relationship like that was going.
The pain came from a place of empathy. You knew all to well what it felt like to want someone so much that it hurt. To be willing to do any and everything to be with them--to love them. And above all you knew how it felt to lose it all.
Clint pulled you from your thoughts as he turned his attention to you and Pietro. You took your place in the middle of the mat and got into a ready stance. Clint handed Pietro a gun and continued to explain to the recruits, but inside your mind it was raging.
As you stared across at Pietro your heart began beating faster. Your breathing was more erratic now and the only thing you could see was Mark.
Pietro pointed the gun at you and your instincts kicked in immediately. With one step forward you grabbed the top of the gun and pushed the tip away from you. As soon as you were out of the way of the line of fire you brought your other hand around and grabbed down near the trigger. With a quick twist of your wrists you pulled the gun from Pietro’s grasp and within seconds you now had the gun on him.
You kept the gun on him for a moment longer and then handed it back to him, all while Clint explained what you had done.
With gun in hand, Pietro again pointed the gun at you, but this time when you went to grab it again, he swung the gun into your incoming hand and took a step back. He’d swung the gun hard enough into your wrist to leave a bruise but you didn’t let that show on your face. Instead you took advantage of his further away position and took a running start at him. You didn’t need much speed so the distance was perfect. Instead of just grabbing it, this time you placed your left hand on the gun and your other on his right shoulder. With enough speed you hoisted yourself over top of him. Your velocity and iron grip on the gun gave you enough leverage to bring the gun over top of his body, but because of his failing grip he went backwards with the gun and slammed down into the floor on his back, leaving you upright with the gun in your hand.
To the side of you Clint was having trouble explaining to the recruits how to do what you had just done, but you knew the move you’d just demoed was too advanced for them.
Below you, Pietro slammed his hand against the ground and within seconds he was up and in front of you. Your eyes widened at his speed as you realized this was the first time you'd seen him use his powers.
Clint stopped talking abruptly as the recruits stared at Pietro. “Hey, Speedy. No powers in the training room, you know that.”
Pietro stared at you, ignoring Clint, and you weren’t about to break eye contact.
“Care to try again?” You said, extending the gun to him. He looked down at it and then back up to you.
“Why don’t you keep it.” His voice dripped with venom as he challenged you.
So you accepted. Pointing the gun at him, you waited for Clint to give the go ahead, but you knew Pietro wouldn’t wait for anything.
Without warning he charged you, hardly even going for the gun. Instead he approached with an extending fist. You switched the gun over to your left hand and ducked his swing. He was quick to recover though. He came back with his right elbow heading for your face and you blocked it with your forearm. Attempting to end the demo by getting the gun pointed on him you pulled it up but in a haze of blue he kicked the gun from your hand and sent it flying above and behind you.
You glanced back quickly and saw it land maybe five feet from you, and in a split second of eye contact with Pietro, the both of you charged the gun. He obviously got there first but as he picked the gun off the ground and began to turn around you took the advantage with a kick to his hands, again sending the gun flying.
You swung a right hook and it landed but he caught your left and twisted it down, forcing you to give and go down to the ground. But working quickly, you rolled back onto your shoulders and wrapped your legs up and around his neck. Using all the force you had, you flipped him over top of you and down onto his back. Doing so gave you enough time to run for the gun, and this time you made it first.
With gun finally in hand, you turned and found Pietro at least 3 feet from you, but using his speed, he was in front of you and struggling for the gun in a blink of an eye.
The two of you struggled back and forth with the gun. But when he grabbed for it you grabbed for his wrist instead and twisted it back behind his back. Just like you had, he gave as you continued to drive his wrist upward towards his shoulders. Every inch you went up, the farther he went down until he was flat on the ground.
“Agh! Agh okay. Okay!” Pietro called out and you released him immediately, slowly realizing where you were.
When you looked up Clint and the rest of the group were staring in shock at the two of you. Not only that, but both Steve and Natasha, along with their group, were all now outside of the gun range watching the demo. If it could even still be called a demo.
You recognized the worried looks on the faces of the recruit and quickly dropped the gun and stepped away from Pietro, who wasted no time getting up off the ground.
“Clint, I’m sorry. I--I got carried away--”
“Actually.” Natasha said, now approaching the two of you, “This is exactly what they needed to see.” You watched her with wide eyes as she began to back the two of you up.
“Field work won’t be anything like the things you’ve seen in this room. in fact, there’s no way for any of you to truly understand that until you’re out there in the midst of it. What Agents Maximoff and Y/l/n just demonstrated for you was a real life example of the things you will need to be able to do. The only inaccuracy being one of them would be dead right now.”
As Natasha continued her speech, Clint drew yours and Pietro’s attention. He motioned for the two of you to follow him out of the room and you did without a single argument.
As soon as you got out of the training room you prepared to be yelled at but when Clint turned to face the two of you his face was surprisingly calm.
“You two good?”
You glanced over at Pietro and he looked down at you.
“Walk it off then.” Clint turned to go back into the training room and you wasted no time making your escape. The only problem being this was your third time in the tower and you had no idea where you were going.
After wandering for awhile you found yourself in what you assumed was the research room. Books filled two walls of the large room and in the middle were a few tables and couches. To your right there were a few huge wooden bookshelves that almost reached to the top of the ceiling.
Being away from people seemed like the best idea for you right now so you walked towards the back of the room behind the last bookshelf and you found a lone chair and side table with a book sitting open on it.
You took a seat and crossed your arms in your lap with a huff. Thoughts of Pietro’s intense ocean eyes filled your mind and your fist clenched.
As a distraction you grabbed the book on the side table and began to flip through it. Your eyes mindlessly skimmed over the words on the page until they landed on a few lines: “--and my heart is at ease knowing that what was meant for me will never miss me, and that what misses me was never meant for me.”
Your eyes ran over the words repeatedly until you suddenly heard footsteps in the hall. The steps were heavy and seemed to be getting closer. Surely whoever it was would keep on going, or at least not realize you were in the room.
The steps drew closer until they were practically on top of you. Pietro came bursting around the corner and you stood quickly as he did. Your sudden movement caught him by surprise and he took a half step back as he realized he wasn’t alone.
“Oh. I’m--I did not know you were back here.”
His voice was much more calm now, meaning he’d cooled off from earlier. But looking at him now, the anger you held in your clenched fist now seemed to be fading away.
He took your silence as a cue to leave but before he could you stopped him.
“Is this your book?” You said, holding it in your hands.
He turned and studied it for a moment.
“Just something I picked up.” His eyes were cast down for a moment, but then he looked up into your eyes without falter. “I should apologize. I reacted badly to what you said, but I know that you were right.”
You glanced down and hid a grin, quickly recovering before he noticed though.
“I should have never gotten involved with--”
“You, don’t need to explain yourself. As far as I’m concerned, that never happened. Just, don’t let it happen again.”
Surprisingly, Pietro smiled at your comment and nodded his head. “Won’t happen again.”
You studied him for a moment as he had glanced away. His bleached blonde hair fell slightly in his face as he looked down. His lips were pulled up slightly on the left, his eyes crinkled from the genuine smile.
“I still don’t think I can honestly admit that you would not have shot me if that gun was loaded Y/n.” He smiled wide and you laughed.
“I guess we’ll never know.” On your way past you pressed the book into his chest until he brought his hands up to take it.
When he did his hand brushed over your thumb, sending a shiver down your spine.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then Y/n?”
“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” You said with a smile.
“Sleep well dragă.”
Instead of ignoring it, you shot him a questioning glance and realization fell over his eyes.
“It means, sweetheart.” He said matter-of-factly.
That night you left the tower with a smile on your face and a feeling that what was meant for you would never miss you.
Knew You. Oh how I've missed your writing! So beautiful, so powerful, so true, so real, so heartbreaking. I love the quote that inspired the fic, but I must say I love the fic even more. So much more. The writing, the way you use language, is simply stunning - it flows and breathes and there is this amazing poetic quality to it that I absolutely adore. You really know how to use flashbacks - they add so much depth and texture and poignancy to the story. Just fantastic work altogether! <3
Yay! I’m so glad you liked it! I’ve missed writing as well so I’m glad I didn’t completely mess up this fic. I’ve been a little low on ideas so I want to open my inbox to requests! Feel free to leave a prompt in my ask within the next few days and I’ll be sure to write it! I’ll be leaving updates to notify when my ask box will close again. This goes for any and everyone!
A/N: Finally!! It’s been so long since I’ve posted something but I finally decided to sit down and post this! I decided to take a break from posting but I hope this makes up for my absence. Sorry it’s so sad! Feedback is Greatly appreciated though. Thank you all so much! Enjoy!
The words fell from his lips like a cold stream. With ease, like he'd said them a thousand times before. But to you--to you they were like a hot aching fire that now burned in the pit of your stomach, almost like you knew they were coming. "I don't think I can love you anymore." He said, his voice close to a whisper. Everything grew so quiet. The sound of your tepid heartbeat drummed in your ears as you silently wished his words away, to no avail.
His eyes remained cast down. Staring at the ground, hoping it would swallow him up. You stared at his broken figure. The way his eyes slanted down in pain, the way his muscles went stiff, and for the first time since you’d met, You didn’t see a point in gluing his pieces back together. The lump in your throat grew as you waited to meet his eye line. Agonizingly slow, he brought his graze up towards yours.
With everything in you, you willed your eyes to spell the love you hoped you still felt for him, to scream out to him that you still cared--that you were still here, but when they met, it was like an ocean wave crashing onto a frozen hollow beach. A spark was reignited inside of him as the one inside you burned out. His lips began to move fervently. He looked to be explaining himself from the desperate look in his eyes. Searching for the right words to communicate to you that, he still wanted to love you but didn’t know how.
Your self-destructive thoughts calmly told you that this was somehow your own fault, but it was hard to argue with them. The last mission had dragged so much out of you. So many reminders of your past had sent you into a deep state of loathing. It was hard for you to feel anything but hate for awhile, and Pietro found himself facing a whole new person he wasn’t sure deserved his love.
He continued to talk and you continued to not listen. You decided you knew enough about him to know what he was saying. Something about how he was afraid of what you were now, but he would try, oh how he would try.
They may have been the words you’d hoped he would tell you, but ‘I don’t think I can love you’ were the only words that were playing back in your mind. His eyes spilled over with regret as he crashed his once familiar body into yours.
The moment you touched again you hoped you would feel elation, if not that then relief, but all you were left with was a fleeting feeling of the love you once knew--the man you once knew.
Months later and you thought you would be over this, but how do you get over looking into the eyes of your lover and finding a stranger? Days like these, when he was off saving the world, you were stuck in this enormously empty tower with nothing but left overs. Left over feelings. Left over regret. Left over “What The Fuck Am I Doing’s”
Things were fine when he was gone (as bad as that sounds). But they were also not bad when times were good between you. When the both of you just ignored the pain and pretended like being ‘just friends’ was actually working.
It wasn’t like this when the two of you’d first met. It was completely different actually. The moment you saw him, you’d felt like you knew him. Like he was going to be apart of you somehow.
“And this is--”
“Pietro.” He interrupted, “Beautiful to meet you.”
You ignored his unusual word choice and took his extended hand in yours.
“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Y/n.” He knowingly smiled and you quickly assumed Tony had most likely told the team about you long ago.
As he continued your tour of the tower you continuously found Pietro by your side, and you could have sworn he was inching closer with every couple of steps.
Tony approached what you assumed to be your room and to no ones surprise, Pietro stuck around long after Tony had left you to unpack. You did have to admit that the way Pietro had previously been described was nothing like the way he was acting now. Your conversations were endless, and though you were wary at first, he didn’t cross any lines he shouldn’t of. The two of you spent the whole night talking when you should have been unpacking.
You shared some of the unbelievable adventures you’d experienced in your years with Shield while he told stories of his childhood before ending up here. The first thing you picked up on was his enormous capacity to love. Sure he was cold and hard sometimes, but who wouldn’t be with the life he’d lived? You saw something familiar that you weren’t about to pass by--something you refused to over look.
Months went by and while everything around you continued to change, Pietro never did. Reliable, caring, understanding, they were just some of the few thing you valued about him. 5 months in and everything inside you told you he was something special, someone to break for.
The two of you were intimate with each other long before you ever had sex. After a few very rough nights you found yourself broken and weak, with only Pietro to unload on. And he got it all. Every secret, every insecurity, and the whole time you spoke, the way he looked at you never changed. It was like his eyes were endless voids of comfort just waiting to take away more pain.
One year later and the two of you were enjoying each others company in a different way. Sex with Pietro was everything you imagined it to be. With every touch he told you all the ways he loved you. Every kiss opened his heart a little bit more to you. He had an astounding ability to make you feel needed--so much so that you began to crave it. You continually laid yourself down to elevate him and he continually took your hand and lifted you off the ground.
You were grateful for someone who finally gave just as much they took, but you never thought that what you had to offer would one day not be enough--that there was a limit to how much he was willing to deal with.
It was late, you didn’t know how late, but late enough for Pietro to fall asleep as he waited for you in bed. On nights where you had a case that took up a majority of your time, Pietro would sacrifice a few hours of sleep so he could hear about your day when you got back. A few unplanned conference calls had kept you late tonight and Pietro had fallen asleep waiting for you.
A half finished book lay open on his chest, his hands peacefully rested at his sides. The lamp on your side of the bed was left on (something he did after the night you had tripped over his shoes going to the bathroom). As quietly as you could you snuck to your shared dresser and grabbed one of Pietro’s T’s. Too tired and too lazy to shower tonight, you quickly undressed and pulled the gray shirt over your tired body.
You quietly slid in next to Pietro, clicking the light off before being pulled into his side like clock work. He moaned a hello to you and you placed a sweet kiss to his chest before settling in. There was no talking but you happily settled for listening to the steady beat of his heart as he ran his thumb over your shoulder.
It didn’t take long for you to drift off but your slumber only lasted a few hours before you woke up overheated. Siding against kicking off your blankets, you untangled yourself from Pietro and laid flat on your stomach on your side of the bed. You mindlessly closed your eyes again before feeling a slight stir beside you. You turned your head to find Pietro’s sleep swollen eyes peering at you through the darkness, suddenly realizing the means for his stare.
You moved your hand from underneath your pillow and moved it down until it reached his. You tangled your finger around his and the both of you began drifting off to sleep soon after.
You were now lying in bed, alone. You found yourself continually checking the clock on your nightstand but each time you did it seemed to go slower. Sure, things weren’t good right now, but you still wanted them to be. You wanted to look into his eyes and see the light he told you you had put there. You wanted to feel the love packed inside every kiss. You wanted to not be able to fall asleep without feeling him next to you, but as you continued to wait, tears pulled your eyes shut.
Pietro stood outside your door, staring down at the light seeping through the bottom of the door. Knowing you were on the other side and waiting made his heart ache. He had never known how fragile you really were underneath your thick skin, but all of that changed when he watched you surround yourself in barricades after what he’d said a few months ago.
He couldn’t even hear the words coming out of his mouth as he spoke. He didn’t even think before he blurted it out. He just remembers never being so scared in his entire life. Not scared of the Y/n he was seeing, but scared of how much he wanted to save her. How much he wanted her to never feel this way again. The Y/n he knew was strong, as long as she felt safe, but after she’d told Pietro all her secrets, he could tell she felt vulnerable.
A mistake on his part during a mission got her kidnapped by the very people who Shield had rescued her from many years ago. For an entire month they held her, and when Pietro had finally gotten her back, she looked at him different, and he knew why. She felt naked underneath his gaze, like he knew every one of her secrets and couldn't stand her for it. But that wasn’t it at all.
He couldn’t stand being the one that continued to break her down day after day. She had enough to deal with and she didn’t need him looming over her shoulder.
That night he had told her he couldn’t love her, afraid that by doing so would only hurt her more. He tried saying all this without breaking but the minute he looked into her eyes he knew she was the one he would go to any length for. He remembers pulling her in close and whispering in her ear that he would never stop being there for her, but when he pulled back he saw the brokenness in her eyes.
Ever since that night he’d hated himself for pushing her away. He had hated that he couldn’t communicate to her that he loved her more than her problems, more than her mistakes. But that’s how it always happens to work out doesn’t it? All the words he should of said that night now run through his mind constantly as he watches her walk the halls desperately trying to cope with losing the person who promised he would never go anywhere.
~Imagine teasing Pietro to see that beautiful smile.~
“Hey um, Pietro, you have something on your shirt.”
Pietro glanced in your direction and smirked.
“Y/N, I know what you are doing and I’m not going to fall for it.”
This was a usual for you two. You and Pietro grew closer and closer everyday. Ever since the incident on the Helicarrier things had started to flow a little better within the team. Wanda ended up being fine and it didn’t take long for her and Pietro to make up.
“Pietro come on I’m not kidding, you look like a mess, just look, right here.”
You pointed at his shirt and rubbed your finger on a spot right below his shoulder.
He was trying hard not to fall for it again but he caved.
He looked down and you flicked his nose.
“Ha!” In the midst of your celebration Pietro grabbed your arm and pulled you against his chest.
Your breath caught in your throat and before you knew it you were inches away from the bluest eyes you had ever seen.
“Y/N, you should really stop doing that. I’ll get you back eventually and trust me, you won’t like it.”
You tried to catch your breath and avoid eye contact so you could get a grip of your heart beat.
The look in his eyes captivated you. Pietro started getting closer and in that moment you could of sworn he was going to kiss you.
Just then Steve and Tony walked into the room.
Pietro quickly let go of your arm and stepped away. You were sure your cheeks were red and there was no way of hiding it.
“Oh excuse us, we didn’t mean to interrupt.” Steve ushered Tony out of the kitchen as quickly as possible but you could still hear his childish giggles halfway down the hall.
Pietro looked over at you and you knew he could see your embarrassment.
“Don’t look so scared Y/N, we’re both adults.”
Pietro leaned down towards you and brought his hand to your face.
You froze in your place and looked up into his eyes.
“You have something on your cheek, draga.” Pietro gently swiped his thumb right under your cheekbone and winked at you,“what, you didn’t see that coming.”
