I keep thinking about Evan talking about the treehouse and how pilotcule coded that is.
I'm sorry, you want to live in a house that's personalised to you and your three best friends: the best, most incredible mage in the world who you want to boss you around like a dog, the way, the truth, and the light, who you'd lay everything on the line for, and your ex, a badass computer hacker wiz who can do anything they set their mind to and is one of the coolest people you've ever met.... and I'm not supposed to read that as polyamorous gay longing??? get outta here
Iâm gonna ânotficâ pitch the evsam/pilot program polycule idea in my brain, and if I feel like spoiling myself with the full version later, Iâll expand and write the fic.
This is inspired by the ritual to change magic that happened at the end of S2 - specifically the element of being IN a spell and having that alter the world to make it seem like something else, eye of the storm style.
Anyway, imagine this is all set a few years after the finale when Big Business and The Government are finally making moves to hoard/control magic and keep it from the masses (again, but even more derogatory this time).
Forces with great power and lots of money have identified the Pilot Programâ˘ď¸ as the biggest threat to their plans. Both because theyâre the stewards of new magic writ large, and because theyâre incredibly powerful in their own right.
Somehow, some way, every member of Triple P (the pilot program polycule) is captured and held prisoner by these forces. Except, this is a group of certifiably insane young adults that destroyed an archaic system of magic on accident at the ripe ages of 17 to 18, and then three years later, when magic was greatly fucked, all managed to merge with pillars of magical potency, rework the entire system, AND establish magical laws that werenât written anywhere physical but in the very fabric of magic itself. Thatâs some powerful fucking shit. Theyâre powerful. And not a single goddamn one of them is giving up any useful information to the baddies â letâs call them âGovernmancers.â
In some ways Triple P arenât able to give anything up because they specifically designed the system not to be beholden to any one person, themselves included, but theyâre also not spilling details on how they reworked the system in the first place. Theyâre not explaining the ritual, or the time loop, or the fact that they communed with personifications of the schools of magic to form bonds with magic itself.
Because of that, the Governmancers donât know Samâs highlights are worked into her DNA now because she merged with the golden ideal of divination. They donât know that Dr. K Tanaka isnât actually a doctor or that their eye is red because they have a server room full of magic in one of the hemispheres of their brain. Plus, a bunch of people have wings (or other more insane non-human body mods) now, so Jammerâs whole deal isnât even registering as bizarre. And Evan is⌠Evan. So, they just go ahead and chalk that one up to demons and a lack of therapy.
Basically, the Governmancers fail to realize Triple Pâs connection to magic on an almost spiritual level. They know LIMPT, but they donât grasp how respect of and for magic granted four nerds the ability to literally change the rules. And this is important because Triple Pâs connections to these deific embodiments of magic grant them an incredible measure of protection as some Really Bad Shit Happens To Them.
The long and short of it is that the Governmancers canât kill Triple P because they need information. But⌠they canât get it, and every minute they allow Triple P to sit in their cells is another minute they have to plan their escape. And magic or not, Evan Kelmp is an insane person. Theyâve got his wife (Sam) and his besties trapped elsewhere in their own cells, so heâs gone full feral animal and is THRASHING at the bars of his enclosure to test for weak spots. Heâs either gonna get out or die trying. Meanwhile, Sam is terminally charming (with or without the magic) so the Governmancerâs are trying to find a single goddamn guard to watch her that wonât become enthralled. Jammer is also charismatic, but the real problem is that he keeps getting contraband into his cell and no one knows how? Heâs come this đđ˝ close to breaking out of his cell already. All he has are the clothes on his back at this point because they think heâs using transmutation to get shit, but thatâs not it at all. He can just make it. Material can be dust or a memory or an idea. And then thereâs K, who somehow had an inside man in the Governmancer operation already. So now thereâs like six guards at their cell at all times, and most of them have their guns pointed at each other to make sure no one turncoats.
As you can imagine, this is not an ideal situation for the Governmancers, so they decide to do a little magic about it. Both to keep Triple P preoccupied and to gather information. If they canât divine how Triple P established New Magic, and they canât reverse engineer the process or undo it, maybe they can trick Triple P into revealing something important by trapping them in a spell/fantasy. Commence Operation: Dreamstate
First problem with this idea: Jammerâs affinity for creation magic. The Governmancers put him into a magically induced coma with the rest of Triple P, telepathically linking all of them in this shared dreamstate so theyâll think theyâre free and tattle on themselves, right? And this is not them magically appearing on the set of Britainâs Got Magic out of nowhere. The spell is going to make it seem like they were all questioned and released (and will also get rid of some memories of the bad very illegal shit that happened to them while being held). However, before Triple P is put under, theyâre brought to a room together. All of them are like strapped to gurneys and monitors and have been magically gagged. They know something is about to happen to them but they donât know what and there isnât enough time to read each otherâs thoughts to communicate. Not even Evan and Sam can manage.
So Jammer has two thoughts going through his brain as heâs being put under:
1. I gotta save my friends
2. This is some straight up horror movie bullshit
Second problem: Kâs tendency to amplify. Theyâre also put under for the spell and that server room full of magic in their brain sparks off of Jammerâs thoughts and facilitates the creation of an entire world that all of them are thrust into BEFORE the Governmancerâs dreamstate world can be created.
Third problem for both Triple P and the Governmancers: Evanâs natural propensity to curtail kicks in, except his panicked and frazzled state and fucked up thoughts (what if I lose the only people I love, how do we get out of this, are they gonna make me forget them, etc) are reacting with Kâs amplification magic.
Now weâve got this magical world/space created by Jammer to protect his friends that has the sheen of a horror movie on it, helped along by Kâs amplification but curtailed by Evanâs panic in such a way that â in the dreamspace â none of them fucking remember each other and theyâre all separated by very real distance. Which sucks, but it does protect them from being preyed upon by the Governmancers. Defense is not without its consequences ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ
Now youâre probably thinking, âGrey, Samâs connection to the Qohlye and inherent ability to divine things would cancel that out, right?â
WRONG. Iâm writing this and I get to be mean.
That said. Problem four: Samâs got this natural affinity for the mind/Seegenpelater, and this additional, profound connection to divination/the Qohlye which means:
1. she is incredibly paranoid about something or someone being out to get her (i.e. sheâs the closest to remembering what came Before This. sheâs the prophet having visions of a reality beyond this that make no sense to her in this world)
2. she knows that she has to find people. she doesnât know who, she doesnât know where they are or how many of them there are, and sheâs not sure how to find them,
BUT
3. her intuition will never lead her astray. so long as she follows her gut, sheâll get where she needs to be.
Essentially, Samâs ability to recognize something Isnât Right offers her a level of manipulation of the world to get her where she needs to be. She also has enough âclarityâ to notice the fact that writing on things like cans of food and posters are completely illegible. Think dream rules. However, the problem with this is that the rest of Triple P fully believe in the illusion and see no flaws, so if Sam doubts herself even a little sheâll chalk it up to like⌠needing glasses and theyâll be led astray. You think my girl had that moment with the Qohlye and was suddenly cured of her inability to believe in herself? Think again, that kind of healing takes YEARS and weâre about to put that to the test baby.
So, putting all of this together from the top: Triple P gets put into a magically induced telepathic coma together. Their inherent magical gifts reach out in their own ways to protect all of them, and co-mingle. Jammer creates a space for them, but because heâs afraid, itâs built like a horror movie. K amplifies this so that the space is incredibly real and VAST. Weâre talking a countryâs worth of space and detail. At the same time, Evanâs fear of losing everyone/forgetting them coupled with his reflexive attempts to curtail and protect means that what gets cut from the movie is their knowledge of each other and it also scatters them across this âcountry.â And last, but certainly not least, Samâs intuition puts a fun little spin on the flavor of the horror movie.
Sam knows, somewhere deep inside, that people want information from her/them and what better monster to represent that fear than zombies?
Yes, thatâs right, this was all an elaborate ruse for me to write The Pilot Program Polycule into a zombie apocalypse movie! Eating brains and stealing memories/info? Same difference.
Think of the drama! The emotional turmoil of trying to find your people to stand against The Horrors when you canât remember them. Think of the slow sinking feeling that something (else aside from the zombies) isnât right, slowly regaining your memories but because you lack context you feel like someone is implanting false recollections into your mind. Do you trust whatâs real if you donât know itâs real? And why are these strangers so familiar? Humans are inherently social and altruistic, but some people are still incredibly selfish and will fuck you over in the apocalypse - so why are these guys so easy to trust if you donât know them? (Also think of Sam and the inevitability of falling in love with your husband a second time because youâre so gross and in love and It For Each Other that you fall in love in every reality. Iâm gonna yartz.)
All the while, their gifts help them navigate back to their bodies to break out of the hold of the Governmancers.
Jammerâs connection to the dream world allows him to manipulate events without even realizing it. An exit appears where they least expect it when backed into a corner by a hoard of zombies (Governmancers that have been sent into the mind space to extract information by force now that they lack control over the spell). Or even small shit like Jammer having a can opener that he doesnât remember grabbing when they set up camp to eat whatever preserved foods they scavenged.
Evan has always been a fighter. He doesnât indulge in fantasy (if he knows thatâs whatâs happening) unless itâs absolutely necessary to do so, which means the record of this fake world almost skips around him. A zombie that definitely should have bitten him misses, or the zombies die way too easily - like before he hits them, or everyone turns around and suddenly thereâs five less zombies in the hoard chasing them. Heâs the glitch in the system, eroding the bullshit so they can see through to the other side of this and get the fuck out.
K does indulge, but that doesnât necessarily perpetuate the fantasy or keep Triple P from breaking free of it. Theyâre the battery thatâs keeping this shit afloat. Without K, this safety bubble that Jammer created would pop. It wouldnât be sustainable. Buuut, Kâs thoughts are also influencing the world. So thereâs some paranoia that puts them in Samâs bracket of almost being able to see beyond the veil. But even beyond that, thereâs this element of excess. In a dramatic sense. Like, some of the zombies are a little too over the top. Not in a dangerous way, in a âthereâs no way a dead body had that much blood left in it that could spray with that much force when you cut off its headâ kind of way. The co-mingling with Jammerâs creation abilities means there are two front doors on some of the houses and stairways that lead nowhere a la Winchester Mystery House.
And then Sam (Buffy in this world, because sheâs about to be a slayer of the undead and she doesnât know that but some part of her does because sheâs influencing the world) is like the fucking oracle Cassandra. Sheâs getting visions of the truth but no one believes her (at first) and if she doesnât dig her feet into the ground and get obstinate and trust her instincts, it means the world gets more whacky.
Long shifts in the convenience store equivalent of hell donât intimidate Evan Kelmp.
Having a gun pointed at his face doesnât intimidate Evan Kelmp.
Attractive people who he desperately wants to not appear weird or creepy in front of - so they wonât go home to their equally attractive friends and tell them about the freak they bought a soda from - who insist on having conversations with him, intimidate Evan Kelmp a lot.
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How Evan Kelmp Accidentally Joined a Polycule (and Got His Life on Track)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Okay but Minotaur Evan would be so good though? And the rest of the pilotcule would make a great Theseus. Jammer in front with his shield, K carefully unwinding the string behind them, Sam holding the torch in the middle. Evan watches them from the dark and sees that they work together even in hopelessness, and wants that gentleness for himself but knows he wasnât made for it. Heâs the monster theyâre here to fight, and no matter how much he wants it, why would any of them treat him with the same gentleness they do each other?
you are all enablers I stg (also this ask was so so good you have no idea)
within these walls of shame and sin
As legend has it, underneath the castle of Gowpenny there lies a great and terrible labyrinth, and within that labyrinth, an evil beyond description is imprisoned.
###
three not-quite Theseus and one not-quite Asterius
Sam and Whitney have been married for a few years. They're childhood sweethearts with some land out west, working to build a life together on a struggling farm. They're as happy as any two people can be in a life of hard living, though they've always lowkey felt like there was something missing.
One night, their dinner gets interrupted by a knock at the door. They're a little anxious as the local sheriff, Tallulah, has been causing trouble for them. But it's not Tallulah or her cronies - it's a handsome, if filthy, young man who identifies himself as Kelmp on account of his ma dying before she could name him and his pa being too sick with grief to do it, so he uses his pa's name. He introduces himself as passing through the area looking for work. He don't need much, just some hay to lay his head on, and something to warm his belly in exchange for his labour.
Thinking about the fact that half their fence was torn down the week before and Whitney can't afford the help repairing it from locals, and that he's often worried he won't be able to take care of Sam and the farm himself - not that Sam needs it, having the ability to talk her way outta just about anything - he invites Kelmp in to join them for dinner with the understanding he'll get put to work at first light.
A few days in, Kelmp lets slip that he has a friend he'd been traveling with who he got split from but promised to meet up in town, who would also be able to help out, Whitney agrees to temporarily take on his friend K as well.
He and K have an intense relationship, having met a few years back and agreed to travel together. They're too tired and hungry most of the time to talk about their relationship, but there's something deeper always lurking at the surface
K and Sam hit it off immediately, as do they with Whitney. Kelmp kinda feels a little left to the side, up until one night when Whitney and K go into town for something, and Tallulah's cronies show up. Armed with one of Whitney's guns, Kelmp holds them off and scares them away, only for Sam to throw herself into his arms in relief. They kiss but he stops it, terrified of jeopardizing the agreement he has with Whitney - and breaking the man's trust.
Only to find out that they've talked about it before and have been lowkey interested in both of them. Through a mix of hard living and fierce loyalty, the four end up forging a life together as a unit. (And they handle the Tallulah problem.)
Oh gosh, am I too late for drabbles? I'd love Evan and whoever you'd like with the prompt "I've got you, sweetheart."
âLike this,â Evan says patiently. Like they taught him a lifetime ago when he was at Gowpenny, he gently redirects the broom, enough to get them back on course.
Thereâs an excited squeal in response.
âAm I doing it?â a tiny voice asks. âAm I flying prop-properly?â
âYouâre doing perfect,â he answers honestly, leaning forward to kiss her on the top of her head. She starts to lift her hands up from the center of the broom and he goes, âah, ah, hands on the broom, sweetheart.â
âSorry!â she cries, her knuckles going white with how hard sheâs grasping it. After a second, she asks, âwhy canât I fly with just my knees, like everybody else can?â
âYouâll get there,â he chuckles. âBut donât you dare try flying without your hands before you master it with them first.â
Sheâs facing forward so he canât hear it, but Evan knows sheâs pouting. âAlright,â she says, a little sullenly.
âYou ready to go down?â he asks, sensing that sheâs getting tired.
âNo,â she whines, âI wanna keep flying.â
âOkay,â he says with a smile. âHowâs this sound- letâs fly like old times.â
âOh! Can we? Can we? Pleasepleaseplease!â
Evan chuckles, wrapping one arm around her middle to lock her firmly in place against his chest. The carabiner has her hooked against him and the broom, but the last thing he wants is to have to catch her if they both go tumbling. âOkay, baby,â he says, âYou can let go now. Iâve got you, sweetheart.â
She snuggles back against him, her tiny body feeling so small and fragile against him. He didnât think there could be anyone in the world this precious to him, but the first time heâd laid eyes on her, felt her tiny fingers wrap around his thumb, his heart had been stolen permanently.
âHey, look,â he points down at the ground. âYou can see your mama down there.â
âMama!â she cries, suddenly with enough energy to wave frantically down at the ground. âCan she hear us? Mama! Mama, I was flying!â
Smiling, Evan dips them down low enough so they can see Sam more clearly. They fly around her in wide circles, giggling when it makes her plant her hands on her hips and give them a mock stern look.
When they finally land, sheâs full of energy, bouncing with it the moment he unhooks her. She goes flying at her mother, straight into Samâs arms. âMama, mama, I was flying!â she cries. âDid you see?â
âI did see, young lady,â Sam says, giving their daughter a firm smooch on the forehead. âWhy donât you run inside and clean up and help your papa set the table? Your momâs gonna be home with dinner soon and then you can tell us all about your flight with your daddy.â
âOkay!â she slams open the patio door and forgets to close it behind her. In the house, Evan can hear her shouting, âPapa, papa! Did you see me and daddy! I flew him around!â
Evan carefully disassembles the broom and then walks over to Sam, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.
âHey, babe,â she says, smiling up at him. âYou two have a good flight?â
âPerfect. Sheâs a natural,â he says. âJust like her mama.â