|| thirty-something and too old for this shite. call me mud. he/they. just another non-melanated/"white" queer-ical dog thing || ao3 in my pinned post || radfem free zone & if your feminism isn't intersectional and focused on liberating EVERYONE from patriarchy then you're not a real feminist || from the river to the sea 🇵🇸 keep your antisemitism as far away from me as possible [still just trying to figure out what I can do with half a bedsheet]
I have archive locked my fics as of 04/30/2025 as a result of AI scraping. If you want access to one and don't have an ao3 account, feel free to message/IM me and I'll be happy to provide. If this is frustrating or inconvenient, I'm sorry 😭 please know it frustrates me greatly as well.
Additionally, if you're interested in one of my longer fics that is marked Explicit but are not interested in the smut/skipping past the smut portions, let me know! I can provide a non-smut copy of most of them, save for ones that are purely smut-focused.
Everything I post can be considered rebloggable, you don't have to ask. If I don't want it reblogged, that function will be turned off.
♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧
it's meee, mud
also known a farcical excuse for a person, half-creature, half-whatever else. thirties, he/they or they/he, it doesn't matter. queer-ical boydyke thing. vaguely man-shaped, more dog than man; but that's whatever. I'm queer in all ways, but more specific labels include nonbinary, demi/greysexual, demi/greyromantic, bisexual, et cetera. my beloved✨️is one of the most wonderful people to ever walk this earth and I consider myself the luckiest guy alive to have her in my life. 💚
this blog is MOSTLY sft/sfw, but I still prefer if you're a minor that you do not interact as a personal preference of mine. you're still welcome to interact with my og sfw content, make sfw fic/gif requests, et cetera, I just will not follow back and am not interested in friendship.
if you have any interest in either tipping me or commissioning something, I would prefer that you do so in the form of a donation to a person or community in need. preferably only someone non-white as despite the fact that there are plenty of white people who are in need, historically it's a lot easier for white folks to garner support and donations. just send me a screencap of your donation receipt with any personal identifying details blocked out, but that includes date and recipient information, as proof if you wish to utilise that for a "commission" from me. I reserve the right to refuse if I disagree morally with the request itself, am uncomfortable with the topic (such as requests that include race play, violence against a marginalised group, et cetera) or find issue with the recipient of the donation (such as donations to white supremacists, hate groups, fascists, or similar). if I will not write the request, you can replace that request with something else.
more about me and this blog under the cut ✂️
I can be really bad at responding to messages/comments/IMs, but know that I love every person who talks to me in whatever format and I'm definitely not intentionally ignoring you unless I found something you said to be rude or offensive in some way. I do delete comments and block pretty liberally - while I have no issue interacting with people with different beliefs and opinions than me, I will not engage with you if I believe it would be bad for my mental health and I will stop engaging with you if you do something to indicate you cannot respect my needs, boundaries, and personal autonomy. I grew up homeschooled and in a cult so I'm kind of a mixed bag of trauma and miscellaneous issues but I'm in therapy and working on dealing with my ptsd.
I don't really believe in DNIs since your business is yours and mine is mine, just know that if you're hateful, cruel, racist, misogynistic, transphobic (transmisogynistic or transandrophobic!), fatphobic, intersexist, ableist, think that whatever marginalised identity you have exempts you from being prejudiced, an asshole, or a bully to other marginalised folks, believe in gender essentialism in any way that doesn't just serve as a facet of a kink, are antisemitic, don't believe in a free Palestine, are any flavour of genocide denier, believe in punishment instead of rehabilitation, believe in censorship or identify as an "anti/antishipper," believe it's ever okay to police queer spaces, or just generally show yourself to have a flawed and shitty perspective of the world around you, and you interact with me or I see you in the wild, I will block you and never think about you again!
If you're a reasonable person with reasonable opinions, then you need not worry about that ever happening. If I've gotten to know you and you express something that causes me concern, I will push back on it and make an effort to open a dialogue on the subject before ever making the choice to cut contact with you over it - and I hope you'll extend me the same grace should I ever express something that deserves to be pushed back on or confronted in some way. as a result of my upbringing (and growing up in a country founded on the principles of white supremacy), my adulthood has included a lot of working through the things I was taught and learning to be better, which is a constant battle that will not be over until I am dead and in the ground.
I only tag spoilers for things I'm actively watching and reblog a lot of things I don't watch that I think are pretty or neat, so I'm not always in the know. elsewise, it's all based on my own made-up categories. hmu if there's anything you'd like to see tagged for filtering. I'm pretty agreeable, I just can't know to tag something if I'm not asked.
not a fully inclusive list but a few things I believe in quite passionately in no particular order:
free and liberated palestine
free and liberated taiwan
open borders/unrestricted immigration
end to all ethnic cleansings
independence for hawai'i
universal healthcare
free education for all
trans rights are human rights
reparations
affordable railway systems across the USA
an end to the for-profit prison industry and an abolishment of the prison industry entirely
full rights and healthcare access without restriction for women, trans, and nonbinary people
legalisation and protections for sex work
legalisation and support systems for drugs and drug users, full and comprehensive care for addiction that focuses on helping instead of punishing those affected
I gif sometimes and I sometimes I write. you can find the latter half of that here: new ao3 and here: old ao3
I take requests. gifs require links and timestamps, fics require a willingness to hash out your desired plot over IM so I can sink my teeth into it.
my "original" content:
if you like eroticism, kink, enjoy filthy writing, and/or just generally want to know what my ass looks like, you can find my nsft blog over at et cetera; and I store the bulk of my D20/Dropout brainrot here at the old lady from the store. if you're over 21 and think you'd like to be friends, feel free to ask for my discord!
this is the core of why some women defend beauty standards - if they’re deconstructed even a little they have to face how much money/time they’ve sunk into them. it also exposes how untrue “i did it for myself” really is - if that was true, you wouldn’t be upset that other bodies are being uplifted
Oh- because I know whenever people feel sorry for the racism that I have to experience on this app, I get pictures of pets- those are very cute! However, as much as I appreciate the intent and the kindness, it is not a way to help me materially benefit the community I fight for!
If you'd really like to make me smile, send a picture of your pet... AND a screenshot of a $5 donation to a Black community need of your choice 🙏🏾 there are plenty of causes that could use the help! Active antiracism!
It seemed disingenuous to fall back on providing receipts for donations I already do, so I set two new ones up: Snap Co and The Lavender Rights Project
Wait I thought when ppl said "racist phase" they meant "time when I hadn't deconstructed racist societal beliefs" phase what do you mean these people were ACTUALLY going out there and being racist like on purpose 😭
Baby I’m so sorry but a LOT of white people had periods of time as kids or even early adults where they regularly regurgitated slurs and direct racism and performed cruelty on racialized people. It can legitimately anywhere from “saying slurs on COD at 12” to “putting various unsanitary and hard to remove things into Black classmates hair” to “excluded racialized kids around them because they were yucky/etc.” to “assaulting racialized people around them” to “spent time on /b/ and gained standard 4chan racism brainworms”
You also straight-up can’t guess what it’ll be until they mention it or it jumps out. As an example, back in montana there was a white woman in my local kink community who was generally SO fucking sweet, kind, and caring to everyone around her, including me. One day she posted this on Facebook out of literal nowhere:
And doubled down after I called her on it.
Please understand that “hasn’t deconstructed racist social beliefs” means “can and will use racism when useful or they think they’re safe to, or will engage in white solidarity”
If they haven’t actually put in the work to destroy the white supremacy they’ve been internalizing from society their whole life, this can be basically any white person, at any time, no matter how they’ve behaved previously and how much you think they’d never do something like that.
The racist phases are real, and often haven’t had the work done to truly end either.
Being fully honest, over the past few years I’ve met multiple white queers who were literally born and raised in full-on white supremacist cults and only escaped as adults, and every single one of them was leagues more tolerable than the average white queer because they KNEW their shit was fucked to hell and they were quick to self-question, address, and apologize when something they didn’t know was false/racist/supremacist came up and they actively wanted to do/be better.
Meanwhile average white queers just don’t want to be cancelled and often don’t actually give a fuck whether they’re harming racialized people around them or whether they’re doing the work of picking the white supremacy brainworms out. Getting an apology, reparation, or basic fixes is like pulling fucking teeth with them.
It’s legitimately fascinating to look at the difference in approach between the two.
god because imagine you fought and died for a freedom you could never possess, were forced to work and bleed for eternity because of how hard you fought, and suddenly you are in a new space. New, but so old, you can recognize it, but its never been so bright before so it cannot be that place. You look around and see your people around you, but they are wearing so much finery and look so healthy, healthier than you were allowed to be under your cruel master, and you dare not hope.
You dare not, until a man looks you in the eyes and tells you yes. Yes, we did it. You pointed us in the direction. You led the way. You did not die for nothing, you died for your children to be free, to have the ability to fight for freedom, and your children got it!!! They got it, and isn't that everything you ever hoped for? The sheer joy of that realization is what allows you to move on, to join the world once more not as a lost soul, who failed in their battle, but as a soul who led the way to freedom. And now you are free, free to pass on and rejoin the world!!!
I see a lot of Tumblr users who don't know their feminist history attributing the fact that women* are "allowed" to be masculine under the patriarchy as some sort of facet of the patriarchy universally accepting masculinity over femininity and that shit pisses me off so bad.
The reason why women* are "allowed" to be masculine when men* "aren't" allowed to be feminine under patriarchy is because DYKES and BUTCHES and other masculine women* SPENT DECADES FIGHTING FOR THEIR RIGHTS TO EXIST PUBLICLY.
The fact that women* can wear pants and suits etc. and are not constantly forced to be hyper feminine/in adherence with strict gendered dress codes without punishment (AND ONLY IN SOME COUNTRIES!) is a win on behalf of feminist political action NOT because of some baseline acceptance of masculinity in everybody by the patriarchy.
(*and people forcibly socially classed as women and men)
Like oh my lord some of you need to shut the fuck up and learn what it was like to be socially classed as a woman before the sexual revolution and what it continues to be like outside of the imperial core.
You are reaping the benefits of the activists who have come before you but because you do not know your history you are treating it like the boons of the oppressor classes and you are blind for it.
ik fucking femboys has become like a meme or whatever idfk but plz remember those are real people with rich inner lives and friendships and jobs and hobbies and favorite foods like they're human beings not hypothetical sex toys or walking memes ok man thank u mwahh
it would be so funny (if it didn't suck) how much the term "white passing" is now just a term used by mostly white people as shorthand for one or more of the following: 1) "you, person of colour, have challenged assumptions i had about race and i don't like that so i am going to attempt to invalidate your point by erasing your identity" OR 2) "I am a white person who doesn't interact with people of colour therefore i have no idea what a person of colour looks like" OR 3) "i think white passing just means having white/light skin and you have white/light skin therefore you are white passing" OR 4) "you are not performing your culture in a way that is obvious or legible to me, a stranger, therefore i assumed you were white because that is more comfortable for me" and the most insanity-inducing part of all this is that if you are levelling the label of "white passing" at someone in this way then they're not white passing. if someone is passing for white then you would not clock them as doing so, by definition. passing for white is a verb, not a noun. it really annoys me, deeply actually, that these terms Black people and people of colour coined to describe things culturally specific within our own communities, then got bastardised by white people to the point that these culturally specific terms essentially become derogatory and used to discredit us.
Oh for fuck’s sake, people calling out racist writing in fanfic isn’t “censorship”. I say this as a fic writer but some of you need to get off your high fucking horse.
