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Finally updated Tempting Fate after almost a year.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Read Po-orly Explained from the story Tempting Fate by thiger (World’s Best Idiot) with 1 reads. pó, tigress, tipo. The...
Come run in here and get y’all’s juice.
Shifu fails, not Po
I think my favorite moment of Kung Fu Panda is when Po tries to run away from the temple because Tai Lung is on his way and we see the first argument between Po and Shifu instead of one-sided meanspirited comments from Shifu.
Po is finally pissed at Shifu since he was willing to learn while Shifu just tried to drive him away. Shifu insists that he can turn Po into the Dragon Warrior. But when Po asks him how exactly he intend to do it?
All Shifu can say is "I don't know."
Because it was never Po who was the problem. He was not a bad student, Shifu is the one failing Po since he doesn't know how to teach him.
I watched Kung Fu Panda: The Dragon Knight a while ago and now I'm imagining a conversation where Po is telling Wandering Blade about Lord Shen and the Sacred Flame and Blade is completely dumbfounded about how Po almost got defeated by a cannon, of all things.
Kung Fu Panda character pictures, Pt 1
I figured I’d give you guys a sneak preview of a KFP fic I’m writing. Working title is ‘Temtping Fate’
The Jade Palace was a place of calm tranquility, constantly made contradictory by intense physical labor. It was a place of meditative peace, where its residents perfected their abilities to fight. A mountain palace, that taught people how to throw someone to the floor in three moves or less.
Po rarely thought about it that deeply. He knew Kung Fu inside and out by now. It made sense to him that self-improvement, be it physical or not, would require both loud, high energy exercise rooms, and more introspective quiet areas. The chef in him likened it to broth-less noodles and noodle-less broth. You could do one or the other, but it was much better balanced together.
Balance was always one of Shifu's, and by extension Oogway's, chief lessons. Inner peace, the acceptance of oneself, and the need to push forward we're all key ingredients in making the flavor of one's soul. It was what added heat and depth to the proverbial soup of consciousness.
It was a good thing that such lessons were everywhere in the Jade Palace, because at the moment Po felt about as balanced as a one-legged chair during an earthquake.
He ran through the halls and gardens of the palace, yowls and shouts escaping him as if he were being chased.The groundskeepers, by now well trained to the Dragon Warrior's ways, moved precious decorations and fragile plants out of his way, hardly sparing him more than a passing glance or a roll of their eyes.
It was as Po barrelled through the doors into the east wing, rounded the corner on the left, and shot down the hallway after making two rights, that he caught a familiar glimpse of orange fur. Said orange figure spotted him a moment later, barreling towards her at high speed. 'Tigress!" Po said, digging his heels in an attempt to brake himself.
Tigress' eyes went wide, and in a moment of instinct, braced for impact. Po's body was grabbed and turned around before being set down firmly.
Po stood still and blinked for a second. "Oh good, I found you!" His next words spilled out in a single breath. "I need your help, but I kinda need you to promise not to hate me first, because I feel like you might hate me a little bit if I just come out and say it, but I really do need your help and-"
"Po," Tigress said firmly. "Breath. Slowly." After Po did, and stopped shaking so much, Tigress continued. "Now, from the top, what were you saying."
Po sighed and hid his eyes. "This is gonna take a bit of explaining. Okay, so, you remember Temutai, Warrior King of the Qidan Clan, right?"
Tigress nodded. "That yak that you had to challenge for the princess, right?"
"Yeah, that guy. Big dude, big voice, ego more inflated than a lantern. So, I got a letter a few weeks ago from one of his guys. Apparently he got engaged."
"Temutai. Engaged," Tigress remarked drily.
Po shrugged. "I know, weird right? Guess there's somebody for everybody. Anyway the thing is, he has a sister apparently, and he wants her to marry someone in the Valley so he doesn't have to worry about trade dealings and stuff." Pink started to creep its way up Po's face. "Temutai wrote me last week and said that apparently I was his first choice. 'My sister is a warrior of the Qidan clan, so she must marry a warrior!' That's what he said, anyways."
"I. . . see," Tigress said. "You didn't accept, did you?"
Po scoffed. "No, no! You kidding me? Of course not!"
Tigress wanted to feel relieved, but instead her gut coiled. "So how did this lead to you needing my help?"
Po's face went from pink to red. "See, that's kinda the thing. I couldn't just tell him no: Temutai's an actual king, and an egomaniac besides. So, I had to find a way to tell him no, but gently. I knida just. . . wrote him back the first thing that came into my head." Po stole a quick glance at Tigress, whose face had grown from passively concerned, to hard and searching. Po took another breath. "I told him I was already married."
"Meaning you couldn't get married." Tigress nodded. Not the most impressive coverup, but the logic was sound enough, by Po's standards that is.
"Exactly," Po said. "I thought that would just be the end of it, but apparently Temutai found a groom for his sister somewhere else and wants me there when she gets married."
Tigress crossed her arms. "Easy enough. I still don't see what you need my help for."
Po adjusted the fur on his head, refusing to meet her eyes. "Temutai doesn't just want me there. He wants me, and my wife there."
Tigress mouth hung open, while her arms went limp. She dreaded the next few words, but she forced them out anyways. ". . . And this would-be blushing bride is. . ?"
Po inhaled deeply. "I told him I was married to you." Po then bowed his head over double and held his hands in front of him. "I'm so sorry. I should have told you back when I got the first letter, but I thought it would be funny. It isn't, but I really need your help to bail me out of this. So will you please be my fake wife while we try not to offend a warrior-king!"
Fanfic Prompt
A Kung Fu Panda story where Po and the Furious Five somehow travel back in time and accidentally prevent the Five from being formed (and, by extension, Po never becoming the Dragon Warrior). Now, they have to fix everything, with some help from their younger selves. Of course, there'd be a Bad Future involved.
Fanfic Prompt
Kung Fu Panda AU where Tigress bumps into Po and has a brief chat with him while chasing her scroll in Secrets of the Scroll. Of course, she'd still end up getting the wrong scroll, but Po wouldn't realize this until it was too late. (She'd also introduce him to her new friends afterward.)
Kung Fu Panda HC
When the Furious Five were starting out as a team, they didn't exactly gel together. They bickered a lot more and didn't always have good timing. In fact, they could be pretty clumsy at times. Unfortunately, by the time Po came along, they'd pretty much forgotten this.
