Okay for that fake title fic thingy: The Parent Trap with Percy/Oliver :)
ok, so this will NOT be an AU like the movie (because i just can’t imagine percy and oliver willing to divide up twins) but it will absolutely feature match-making children. namely, percy’s - like come on, he’s a weasley, and he might’ve been the most boring weasley in the books, but this shit is in his genes. which he passed on to his kids. so, percy’s daughters take it upon themselves to find their dad a date (after their parents amicably divorced, of course, no dead spouses here) because ‘come on dad it’s been over a year, you’ve got to move on’. they are successful career women in their mid twenties, they can do this. project get dad a date is a go.
several things will happen:
1. percy screws up every single date lucy and molly send him on. every. single. one.
2. they change tactics and start setting him up with men instead, percy screws up those also (but doesn’t otherwise comment, so the girls just ‘ok well i guess that’s that for coming out then’)
3. percy hangs out with oliver after every date to tell him exactly how bad it all went and they laugh and snicker at the best parts (because it’s my firm headcanon that percy is actually a great comedic storyteller)
4. the girls start getting desperate. ‘dad you can’t just hang out with oliver all the time, how will you find a new life partner that way’. the girls are standing in front of him in a ‘this is in an intervention’ stance.
5. ‘girls. you’re smarter than this,’ percy says, sitting in the sofa in a ‘fine i accept this intervention’ way.
6. oliver lets himself into the house (as is his habit) and yells out ‘hey lover!’ percy yells back ‘we talked about this!’
7. the girls become the human version of !!?!?!??!
8. oliver walks in and is like ? what is going on?
9. percy gets up from the sofa to kiss him and is like lmao i have no idea btw where do you want to go for dinner
10. the girls are like OH MY GOD!! DAD!!! YOU COULD’VE SAID!!! DAD!!
11. the twist is that the parent trap is not the girls’ matchmaking but rather percy’s long con to embarrass them
thank you for coming to my ted talk
