Pittiful Thursday/Sunday Scares Week 14
This week's shared theme is "well, this is awkward"
The Pitt cast member this week was Taylor Dearden and she was actually in multiple scenes breaking my spell of one scene characters that I had for the past three weeks so that's cool. The cast also included multiple actors who had also been in The Librarians. I'm not gonna go through the whole cast list to cross check everybody, but I did find Ted Rooney, Rachael Perrell Fosket and Ithica Tell. Ted was the Sheriff in the fairytale episode from season one, Rachael was Cindy in the Curse of Cindy episode (and I've actually interacted with her, she's lovely) and Ithica was a very minor character in the Tears of a Clown episode although somehow I still recognized her. That aside, it was a evangelical leaning redemption story about a former Olympic wrestler who fell from grace for steroid use and comes back to his small town where he coaches the wrestling team after his mentor dies and it's also largely a Christmas movie, so whatever you expect from that description is probably accurate. And the mentor death is what leads to my personal awkwardness. Mainly because he dies of a massive heart attack and earlier last week I was stressed...because my cousin was in the hospital for having a massive heart attack (he's alive, don't worry)...so nice one spinner wheel. Taylor's character is Joanna Miller. Joanna is a eighteen or nineteen year old girl who is the oldest child of an alcoholic deadbeat mother and she's parentified severely until the mother literally outright abandons them. It's not really the kind of role that allows her acting to shine, but again it's whatever you'd expect from that description.
And onto Dreadful Longest Night. There's actually two different posters for it, and the other one was more accurate but this one is on the IMDb page and it's funny...because none of those characters are in the movie. The movie itself was made in Nigeria and I suspect the directors wanted to make something they thought would appeal to Western audiences but didn't actually research anything properly. They may have also used AI in the script. The result is oddly endearing in it's fumbles, but barely counts as a horror movie. In fact, the majority of the plot reminds me of what I assume would be a more low budget version of Onder Draai die Duiwel Rond... the South African soap opera I've been watching far slower than I intended to. The music, the storylines, the editing scream soap opera. Two plot points you'd think might lead to horror are that ABC (yes, that is his name) the gate guard is a creepy sex pest and the rich wife has a "mysterious illness". However, ABC is treated like a comic relief character and the woman has asthma, described and portrayed in such a poorly done way that makes me believe in the AI usage. Then, after like an hour and thirty minutes of rich people soap opera antics (and no cabin in the woods at all) in the final like fifteen minutes vampire zombie thingies show up in the courtyard while the sky lights up as if aliens are arriving and they eat ABC and Tacey the housemaid. Then we find out it's all a nightmare of the rich woman, who upon waking up has an asthma attack and almost dies only for her husband to race in and save her in time. Then the movie ends.
Which do I prefer?: Look, both of these movies sucked bad enough that I almost put "neither" here but in terms of entertainment, although every aspect of it is a lie Dreadful Longest Night was funny because of how confused I was through most of it.