Hi can you please delete your post with the full pages from the new dgrayman chapter? Posts with full pages can negatively impact sales and for users on mobile like me it can spoil big points in the new chapter, even when trying to avoid them.
Sorry but I don’t think it negatively impact sales when they are posted after the official release date in Japan. After the official release, it doesn’t really have much impact. I mean, if we say that full pages negatively impact sales, scanlations are technically much more harmful, but I personally wouldn’t expect anyone to stop reading scanlations because of it, especially those of us who buy all the volumes when they come out anyway (esp me, in both languages).
You can still blacklist “DGM spoilers” on mobile, as well.
Meeting my gf and going to conventions and doing cosplay and getting into new fandoms like dgm and undertale and getting the drive back to draw and lots of other stuff I can't remember. I hope in the new year there are even more good moments and people to meet and talk with and I hope yours is the same bruh
aaaaaa that sounds so great, i’m glad you had a good year!!!! and thank you, i hope so too!!
This is a gift for @plaidsleep for the @dgmsecretsanta. The promp was pretty open, so I hope I’ve written something you like. I added Allen, Tyki and a good deal of angst like you wanted (intended to add cuteness as well, but somehow it didn’t really work out). I hope you’ll enjoy it.
I wish you a Merry Christmas!
'The earl must be joking.' Allen worked his hands through his hair, knowing though that it already looked as good as it was going to get. His fingers dug themselves in between the white strands, only messing up the good model Road had brought into it. 'I can't do this, he knows that!'
The mirror showed his silver eyes were widened with stress and he noticed his face looked skinnier than before. His time with the Noah had really taken its toll on him. The sleepless nights were written clearly in and around his eyes.
The figure behind him on the other side of the mirror looked a lot better. Though his skin was sickly grey and a row of scars was drawn over his forehead, his body looked healthy. However, it was an illusion, because apart from the boy no-one could see the appearance of the Noah inside the glass.
'Allen, calm down,' Neah looked at his nephew with a worried frown. 'You said that the first time you had a mission as well. And look at you now; you've survived tons of those!'
'This is totally different!' Allen hissed almost violently, letting his hands ruin his hair even more instead of making it better like he attempted to. 'Those are horrible as well. I have to force myself to keep totally still so I don't jump in front of it. But at least then I can... You know... I'm not doing it myself!' He shook his head so the strands that had gotten loose from his ponytail danced through the air.
'You know we have to...'
'Yes, I know, dammit. Don't say that every time! But this is my limit. I'm not doing it. We defeat the earl now or I stop. I'm not going to let him use me even more.'
Neah's eyes sent him such a disappointed and sympathetic look that Allen almost flinched. 'Please, Allen, this is not the right time. We're almost there. He's already trusting us and slowly the other Noah are getting comfortable as well. They will feel safe with you if you do this. You have to prove yourself to them. Do it for humanity, do it for your friends!'
The boy clenched his teeth in frustration. It was good Neah was there, because otherwise he would have given up on this job long ago. In the past he had never cared about the big picture so much, more about the people in front of him. He had thought a war with sacrifices was empty. He knew better now. Sometimes you wouldn't have a choice, but that didn't make it easier.
He bowed his head and sighed, trying to calm himself down a little again. Maybe his uncle was right. Besides, if he stopped now, all the other stuff he had been through would have been for nothing. He already had done such bad things. There was no giving up now anymore. If he did that it would definitely ruin everything he was trying to accomplish. His whole motives would be reduced to nothing. He had already ended up being a person he would have despised in the past, he didn’t want to hate himself in the present and future either. Besides, how would he ever get that disappointed and hurt look from his friends’ faces if he wouldn’t have a way to explain his actions later. Maybe if he would keep going now, if he would succeed in the mission Neah and he had taken upon themselves, he would be able to pull the pain out of Lenalee’s eyes and get her to understand.
He splashed some water in his face to clear his mind, then, after drying his skin again, he made a last useless attempt to fix his hair before meeting the golden eyes on the other side of the mirror with a lot more determination than he really felt. ‘Let’s go then. Tyki must be waiting.’
That’s what the man had been doing indeed, leaning against a wall next to the door that led to the bathroom. Allen almost didn’t notice him and would have passed without knowing if he hadn’t spoken up.
‘Are you ready, shounen? The earl wants us to leave as soon as we can.’
The boy turned around in surprise, then breathed in deeply when his calm appearance almost slipped away again. ‘Yes, I guess so.’ He realized his companion didn’t really believe him and eyed him with a bit of pity, but he ignored it. ‘We’ve been on countless of similar jobs before. I’m sure it will work out.’
Tyki frowned. ‘You didn’t seem very comfortable with those either and this one will be quite different. This time you will have to carry it out.’
‘I admit I wished the earl would give me different jobs than assassinations for once.’ Allen couldn’t help but grimace at the memories of the ones he had already needed to attend to. ‘But it seems he’s really keen on getting me used to them.’
‘He just wants to make sure you won’t have a mind poisoned by that old left arm of yours. We don’t know what kind of long term effects it can have, so he tries to cure you now already for if that will be needed. He’s just worried about you.’
Allen sighed, trying to get his mind off the fact that the arm he was using now was made of black matter instead. What the Noah didn’t know though, was that his innocence wasn’t destroyed as Neah and he claimed. It was locked up somewhere safe, waiting for him to come back and use it again. ‘I know. It’s just that it doesn’t really feel like that when he keeps sending me on jobs I hate so much. It’s more like he tries to break me.’
‘The only thing he tries to break is the control that ugly innocence has had on your mind, shounen. I’m sure you’ll feel a lot better once you get used to our way of living.’
That was something he had heard like a hundred times already, but as long as he kept his true purpose at the back of his mind he knew that would never happen. It would only last for a short time though, soon he would change things. Whenever Neah said it was the right moment he would set things right within this clan that tried so hard to adopt him as a family member. He knew they weren’t all bad. He had seen the love they shared with each other, even had to admit he had grown a bit fond of them. Which was the exact reason he would have to change them.
But it was time to go into action now. If he wanted to gain their trust, he would have to try even harder than he had before. How reluctant he even was, he realized he would have to do as he was told, or at least, that was the plan for now. Because the whole time in between now and the moment of truth, his mind would be working on a way to avoid it.
‘So, where will we be going?’ he asked the man, coming back to business.
‘We’ll take one of the portals the earl has set up for us first, after that it won’t be far anymore.’
His mind had failed him. Instead of coming up with a plan it had been replaying the possible situations every time, ending up from bad to worse. Either he would do what he was told and he would end up killing a human being, or he would not do it and he would end up hated by everyone, killed by the Noah or otherwise as a fugitive, running around as Neah had done so many years ago. And from the memories of that man he knew they would be powerless once they would be reduced to that.
He was downright stressed out the moment they reached their destination.
‘So, what’s the plan?’ Tyki asked him, looking at him curiously, apparently trying to help Allen by giving his thoughts a gentle nudge in the right direction.
‘I… I think…’ His mind went blank. Right, what was he going to do now? There seemed no way back, but he just couldn’t imagine himself doing the horrible job either.
When it stayed silent for too long, Tyki seemed to realize he wouldn’t get an answer. ‘What about I make sure he comes to that alley,’ the man pointed in the direction of a dead end that seemed to be unoccupied, ‘and you wait there to close him in and finish the job.’
The boy’s mouth went dry, so he just nodded, trying to hide most of his weakness from his companion. He would need to look determined. Yes, he could do this. He would do it quick and painless and that way he would save humanity and his friends. He breathed in and imagined himself in front of an akuma he wanted to save. He didn’t hesitate slaying them either.
‘That’s the spirit, shounen,’ the man praised who apparently had noticed the change. ‘I’ll see you in ten minutes.’
A moment later he had dug into the crowd and Allen had lost track of him. Instead he took place on the spot he was assigned to and waited there, feeling his heartrate picking up pace and trying to keep his breathing from doing the same. He felt that Neah tried to send him calming emotions, but they seemed crash into a huge wall of Allen own ones and break there on the spot.
Luckily his companion had held his word. Ten minutes later two figures entered the alley. Allen followed them silently, ready to block the only way back for the stranger Tyki was talking to. He recognized the hair and the eyes. They were the same as those on the picture the earl had handed over to them.
He swallowed nervously when Tyki’s mood changed in an instant. The man’s skin turned deep grey and a row of stigmata appeared on his head. His eyes started to glimmer in the urge to end the job right there and then, but he seemed to be able to hold himself back just in time.
Their victim, who noticed the sudden change, turned around and was about to flee, but that was the moment that Allen chose to step out of the shadows, cutting off the flight route.
The man scrambled back, panic written on his face. It was clear he knew perfectly well who he was dealing with, because a moment later he started rambling down apologies and then even possible deals about souls he would sell to them if they wouldn’t hurt him. In the end it turned to begging, because it was clear that the boy’s gaze only turned darker from the suggestions.
A broker. The word itself usually made him feel disgusted already, but seeing this person crawl over the ground, promising to sacrifice even more people to keep him alive made his blood boil. This man had sold information to The Order, but not because he regretted his actions, just for his own good. Money was apparently a lot more important to this man than people’s lives.
Allen was in front of him in three angry steps and yanked him up on his shirt, then slammed him against the wall, a hand around his throat. He had done this before, but this time Allen would be less forgiving. There wouldn’t be someone to stop him now. No, instead Tyki would be here to encourage him. To make him strengthen his grip.
The man squirmed under his hand and whimpered in fear. Allen felt his muscles tighten, putting more force on the fingers that were wrapped around the neck. Now his victim’s sounds started to come out choked and the eyes widened until they were twice their usual size.
Allen panted. Rage surged through his veins and filled his head with thunder clouds. This man gave up human lives like they were nothing more than garbage. He would help the earl to force them into the akuma, hurting the souls horribly in the process. This man was a horrible person. Someone had to punish him! He hurt people, then killed them! He deserved to lose his life himself. It was Allen’s job to…
No…
Suddenly his furious mind cleared a little. This man didn’t deserve to die. Nobody did. It would make him just as bad if he would kill him for this. Besides, that wasn’t his job. He wasn’t here to punish anyone for killing humans.
His grip loosened a little, making the other gasp for air. Only now Allen realized the lips had turned blue. The man’s face was very pale as well and his chest heaved like it was trying to suck in as much air as it could now that it was able again.
Did he really do that?
For a moment he was waiting until Lenalee would run up to him and pull him away or Lavi would call out to him in shock, but instead there were other familiar footsteps behind him and a smooth voice spoke up.
‘Come on, shounen, you were doing well. You can do it.’
The moment of rage was gone. Allen felt himself fall back into the present, working on an assassination job with Tyki. He was here to kill this man. Even if he just came to the conclusion in his rage that he shouldn’t.
He tightened his fingers around the neck, watched the man struggled under him, then felt them loosen up almost all on their own.
He couldn’t do it. This was not an akuma.
Fear flooded him again and made his chest tighten all the way to the point that he was almost having more trouble to breath than the man against the wall. He didn’t want to do this. But he had to. He knew he had to. He had sworn he would infiltrate the Noah. That he would finally save this world from the holy war.
Something cold was slipped into his right hand, that was hanging next to his body uselessly up until now. Allen’s fingers tightened around it, even though he didn’t like the feeling of it. He hoped it wasn’t what he thought it was, but a few seconds later his companion confirmed his assumption.
‘Use this, it will make it easier. It’s quicker.’
The boy lifted the knife until he could see the sharp blade himself and let it float in front of his victim’s chest. It wasn’t that hard, he tried to tell himself, it was just the same as cutting through an akuma with his edge to save it. He swallowed, even though his mouth was as dry as it could be. He just had to picture all the people he would save with it.
But he couldn’t.
His hand was slowly sinking again and he could hear Tyki speak to him urgently, trying to persuade him to proceed.
For a moment Allen was sure it had all ended now. He would fail and he would have failed not only this job, but his whole purpose. He would have disappointed Neah and his friends and himself.
However, his body decided to do something else.
Suddenly he was a passive watcher. Another force took control of his arm and thrusted the knife forward, right into the target.
The man’s eyes widened again and for a moment he gurgled softly, then the expression got blank and the body collapsed. It simply slid out of the boy’s now limp hands and landed next to the blade on the street.
Allen could only stare at it with wide eyes, realizing Neah had pulled back just as quickly as he had taken control. His job was done, the rest was up to his nephew again, whose legs gave in under him, so he hit the ground with his knees.
‘You did well, shounen.’ Tyki had recovered from his own surprise of the sudden action and lit a cigarette before putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder. ‘The earl will be proud.’
That was the last thing Allen cared about. His hands shook and shivers travelled over his spine. With wide eyes of shock he stared at the corpse laying in front of him. He wouldn’t have wanted to do that. Still Neah had forced his hands to kill this man. He had crossed the line. He had murdered a human. There was no way back now. He could never undo what he had done here today. His hands were stained by blood. Someone else’s blood.
‘Come,’ Tyki pulled Allen up, who staggered, unwilling to stand on his feet again. ‘Let’s clean you up and get us a hotel. You’ll feel better after a good meal and a few games of poker. Before you know it, you won’t even remember this day anymore.’
The man nudged the limp boy out of the alley, away from the horrible scene in search of a place to rest. The rest of the day Allen would spend on poker and eating, trying to get himself back together again. Luckily there was one thought to soothe him: it wouldn’t take long until any Noah wouldn’t do such a thing anymore.
