#planefriend

[kylewilko]

It's only BRYAN ADAMS waiting to board the same flight as me to LA. #planefriend #notreally (at Heathrow Terminal 5)

[airplane-friends]

Tammy and I sat next to each other on a recent United Airlines flight from Indianapolis to Washington D.C.  We started talking because she thought her bag under the seat in front of us may have been in my way.  I took that as an opportunity to ask her how her day was and if Indy was her home base. She then asked me where I was from and away our conversation went!

Tammy was born and raised in Indianapolis but then lived in many other places before returning home.  Most notably she lived in Switzerland for seven years, which allowed her to travel for both work and leisure around Europe – something she definitely took advantage of.  We also bonded because Tammy lived in Jersey City for awhile – a place I have also called home.  We talked about how preposterously expensive it is to live in Manhattan.  She told me about her former partner and how he lived in Chelsea and paid $3750/month for an 800-sq./ft. apartment with almost no amenities.  Her apartment in Jersey City was 2/3 that price and came with a parking spot, doorman, etc.  

Early in our conversation, Tammy asked me what I do.  When I told her that I speak to corporate and college audiences about authenticity her eyes lit up!  She immediately asked me if I was a Brené Brown fan.  I told her I most certainly was.  I have watched her TED talks multiple times and was reading her book, Daring Greatly, at the time.  Tammy told me she has been doing a lot of personal work to become more self-aware, more authentic, and more at peace with who she is.  She then proceeded to rattle off a ton of other authors that she assumed I must know.  People like Pema Chodron, Wayne Dyer, and various others.  I had heard of a couple of them, but not many. Little did Tammy know, but I had only recently become a reader and because of some difficult times in my life I had also just started to meditate.  I informed her of this though and asked her for recommendations for future reading I need to do that I promptly put into my phone.  

One of the most powerful things that Tammy and I talked about was the notion of “inauthentic compromises.”  The concept was illustrated by her transformational life coach (who sounded pretty amazing) who asked Tammy where in her life did she feel like she was making inauthentic compromises.  This blew my mind a little and I wish someone had asked me that question at various points of my life.  We are independent beings capable of independent thought. Frequently, however, because of self-doubt, insecurity and/or instability we become accommodators.  We do not stand up for what we want, what we think we deserve, and what we believe.  We become another cog in society’s wheel just going through the motions and fall victim to the “shoulds” of life.  

After going through a rough breakup, Tammy was faced with having to reflect on the inauthentic compromises she had made in her life. She decided to go on a spiritual journey of sorts.  Tammy told me that a couple years ago she quit her job and decided to travel.  She took nine months off and went to Bryce Canyon and Zion National Parks, she drove the coast of Oregon, and traveled to Bali and Thailand.  It was while she was in Bali that a headhunter called her and told her that a company in the pharmaceutical industry wanted to hire her, note: she had not applied for the job, nor was she actively job searching.  She decided to take it and that is what brought her back to the US and home to Indianapolis.

Tammy still hopes to travel to Charleston and wants to wander around Montana.  She also finds time to go on spiritual retreats around once a year.  Wherever she roams I hope that Tammy knows she made an impact on my life and, almost as important, we are airplane friends.