#plate2posts

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Kipperlilly would be having such a better time, in my opinion, if she was instead in the Starstruck universe as a Galactic Girl Guide. I haven't even finished Starstruck yet (more than halfway through I think) but I believe it in my heart for some reason. She just needs to scam people out of all of their money on a spaceship. She'd be thriving much more than being at a high school

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I feel like there's something about Seth without memories that always gets to me. Now, the thoughts began because of the one dragonwatch book, but I've had more AU ideas and heacannons and such since then. It's just in the fact that Seth is kind to those he is loyal to, and he trusts them more than anything.

In my opinion, he's done so many things out of loyalty, out of trust. He talked to a demon to try and help save the preserve, he killed a revenant to help give his family a chance, and even after someone he was loyal to died (despite the guy not being great), Seth figured out a way to give them a way to win again. He's so loyal and it shows in everything he does and he's so kind because of that. If he's loyal to them, he is kind to them and anyone they trust by extention.

So when he loses his memory, who is he supposed to be kind to? Who is he supposed to trust? If people aren't telling him the truth, then who can he trust? Without trust there can't be loyalty and without loyalty he can't afford kindness. It's like a usually kind, docile animal backed into a corner. What other choice does one have when backed into a corner?

And even if he got his memories back, there's still the lingering feeling of 'I didn't trust you' from before. You would still have the memories of both versions of you, and there is a version of you that did not trust the people in front of you. Why? Why didn't you trust them? Why didn't you believe them? There had to be a reason. Can you be kind? Can you be kind if the very people you were most loyal to, you doubted in your time of need? You needed anyone, anything, and you couldn't trust them. What does that mean for your relationship? How can you ever be so freely kind again?

I don't know. Or maybe it's just 1:16 in the morning and I'm emotional about Seth Sorenson again. (And this isn't just talking about master of the phantom isle, this is talking about any au or idea I or others have had about memory loss Seth) (This is half thought out and I might delete it later)

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The way Gorgug has always been hesitant about anger and expressing anger, thinking he has to justify it in order for it to be 'good.' The way that Orcs are presumably stereotyped as a group who only knows destructive rage. The way that this kind of anger could scare other groups like Gnomes and the way that they view that anger as an inherently destructive thing to be pushed down. The way Gorgug has had to repress anger because of the communities he's been raised in, and that means he's eventually going to shatter that bottled repression. The way that the bottle shattering is going to hurt him and maybe he'd even prefer it that way. The way he thinks the only good way to use it is protecting his friends. The way that he's never been able to learn how to properly control it: porter thinks he needs to have an anger fueling him at all times while his parents think he should sing the songs in order for it to go away. The way that rage is an emotion that can hurt, help, heal, anything,, just like any other emotion. The way that anger is treated like a terrible thing despite it being a way to protect yourself and properly feel emotions. The way that typically angry music in Zelda's playlist helps Gogug focus in the situation he's in. Just the way rage and anger is viewed in society in regards to certain people to mean different things and is judged accordingly. The inherent guilt of feeling a normal emotion that others have no problem with misusing. I'm never going to stop thinking about any of the Bad Kids, especially Gorgug

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There's SOMETHING about kipperlilly copperkettle when she mentions she's been studying and she says to Riz, "Yeah, home studying. I'm sure you know how it is." And he just nods very quietly as Kristen goes on to ask why she would need to study if she already passed her classes. Just for her to say studying student government, as if it were obvious. There is something there but I'm too tired to figure that out,,

Does she know Riz is doing quite a bit of the technical work for the campaign? He took, what, two stress tokens for the campaign on behalf of Kristen? How much does she know about him and how much of it is just her being the 'what could have been' reflection of him?? She's studying for student government, Riz very well may be doing the same kind of thing, and Kristen (I love her to death, I want to make sure I mention that) doesn't exactly know what she's doing with the campaign at all times. She wouldn't have been studying, it's why Kipperlilly singled out Riz. Somebody needs to hold things together (party or campaign or both or-)

"You know how it is"

All of these thoughts are only half formed, and there's something there and I don't know what it is and it's driving me insane

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Okay okay I know Kipperlilly was never taken over by rage. She didn't die, she didn't chose it in that way like the rest of them. She had no rage crystal. It was voluntary.

BUT

Something in her must have snapped when Lucy died. Something must have given way, taken over not in the typical rage-star way, but in her own way. A rage god did not take over her mind. Her own rage took over her mind. It was voluntary but at the same time there was no way back. She didn't need a god to light her anger. She just needed herself. Something about a teenage girl's rage (no matter if her reasons were selfish or bad or anything else) being the same as a god's. Something about holding your dead friend's hand (who you killed) and snapping. That was her death. It was Lucy's death, but it was hers. Either they both lived or they both died. We know what happened.

God I wish I could do a coherent analysis on her. I know her character is meant to be how she is. She's meant to be Like That in her creation. She's meant to be unlikable, especially with her view on why the bad kids are ahead (thinking they have an advantage by having it worse, thinking it's unfair for Her which is definitly wrong and I know this and I acknowledge this). But I cannot stop thinking about what-ifs and divergences.

Even when it just comes down to that night in the forest. I want to know everything about it. I want to know how far Kipperlilly had to go to kill her best friend. I want to know if she felt guilty even for a second afterwards or if it immediatly moved to something else (always wondered if she blamed the bad kids. It wouldn't be accurate obviously but she hates them. Her anger was towards them. She did this because of them. In her mind, maybe They Killed Her. She didn't need a rage crystal, they were her rage crystal and she was her own god).

I don't know if any of this even makes sense but I cannot stop thinking about her. Goddamn. Didn't think the rat grinders and their stories would do this to me but here we are

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Okay I know none of them have the time to even think about doing this, but okay. IF Kipperlilly Copperkettle or someone else is killing off principals so then the line keeps going down to the next person, and if Maizey dies or is put out of commission (and can't do her duties) then it presumably moves on to juniors(?). If it is kipperlilly and we really don't want her to win, then what if all of the Bad Kids ran for class president.

Ynow? The six people who have saved the world multiple times, are each cool in their own right, all running for class president. Surely that would prevent her from class president. It's a one in seven chance in a way. One of them has gotta get that spot if they all tried. Even if it'll mess up the votes more than they're already going to be. They're the kind of people who will likely commit voter fraud (or be friends with those who do)

And obviously they all don't have the time and obviously it wouldn't work but guys,, guys it would be so funny to me.

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Sometimes I'll just think of insane crossovers with characters I like despite fully knowing no one has read any of these combinations of books, nor would they ever interact. Like, I could go on and on about the similarities between the Bailey and Sorenson siblings (Land of Stories and Favlehaven) or I could go on about three different Jacks from different books (Half Upon A Time, Mighty Jack, Jack Blank). I could look at Nova Artino and Alex Knight (Renegades and The Cloak Society) and while they're for very different ages there's similarities. Alex from Alex Rider and Carson from Codename Zero would likely never interact but by God do I think about it. I could name so many: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, Seven Wonders, Revenge of Magic, Beyonders, The Lies of Locke Lamora, etc, etc, etc. I am going insane over so many different books that have little semblance of connection, saying they each have pieces of one another within. And these fanbases (if there are even a fanbase for each of these books) would rarely ever interact.

So I'm just left here, reading books in my pajamas, deranged

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Honestly I'm thinking and this season of dimension 20 has so many plot lines that are all needing to be tied up fairly quickly. It makes me a little concerned for the finale in terms of how rushed it may feel or how little pc-pc or pc-npc interaction there may be. But I am wondering, right-

There's so much to do. They're in their junior year, and we're hopefully presuming there will be a senior year. Some of the combats so far (ex. Night Yorb, rage mall, grix) have happened with some kind of help throughout it (the curse, Connor counterspell, the vulture king) and they end up succeeding (at least partially because of it). In the finale, it's very very reasonable that they get through it and everything works out.

BUT what if it doesn't. What if it starts going well and then drops like those other combats have gone. What if there's no kind of help this time. What if something actually goes terribly dangerously wrong and they can't fix it. What if senior year has a continuation of the same very intruiging plot?

This is mainly just ramblings before the finale episodes (and I don't think this will likely happen) but I am thinking about it. I'm thinking very much about it