platform 1L
i’ve started to lose touch with reality again. it doesn’t help that i keep having really vivid dreams. in those dreams i’m on these adventures and i’m with someone... i can never identify who but i know they’re the same person, i can just feel it. i’m starting to feel different. love different. i don’t think i’m dreaming about a certain person necessarily but the feeling i get and i get this feeling from different people. whether they’re in my life or a daydream. i have these new desires to go out into the world now and find this feeling. search for this consist buzz i get after i wake up from those dreams. often my workplace has traces of this feeling. my only issue is that i cannot figure out if it is from certain people there or that’s where i can zone out and daydream. i can’t tell anymore. every morning once i wake up from these dreams, i slowly lose my grip on reality even more. it’s not healthy, i know that... but it’s keeping me going? it gets me to work every day in hopes of finding more about this feeling. it motivates me to take care of myself because what if i actually find this feeling? or the person who has been giving me this buzz? i need to be prepared for it and have myself ready for that adventure.
20-april-2021