Officially a Doctor
The best plot twist of my life happened last October 2024. It was the month I took my physician licensure exam for the first time.
After finishing my internship, I only had 2 weeks of vacation and didn't get to have much rest from a very tiring Internal Medicine rotation. On August 1, I started my PLE journey with 12 subjects to finish in a span of 2 months. Our review was purely online however I decided to stay in a condo in Cebu so that I would have no distractions and I felt relaxed if I took the exams together with my classmates in med school. In the first weeks of review, I was very determined to listen to the synchronous 3 hour lectures and read my review notes. In the meantime, I noticed I was lagging behind with the daily schedule and had many backlogs. This was due to the fact that I am quite a slow learner, I have to repeat what I've red at least twice in order to understand the concepts. Luckily, I had my boyfriend with me throughout the review season. He managed to discuss the concepts I don't understand much and gave me motivation everyday which lessened my stress and break downs.
On October 5, the D-day arrived. My anxiety was through the roof. I felt that everything that I have studied was not enough. I only had 2 hours of sleep that time because I was very nervous the whole night and had to wake up at 4 AM since the call time was very early. Upon reaching to the testing site, I was quite excited to see my med classmates again after a year. Fortunately, my room assignment was in the auditorium where it was air conditioned with comfortable seats just like in cinemas. The whole vibe at the exam hall was quite enjoyable for I had small inspirational talks with my seat mate and friendly proctors. It helped me ease down my anxiety. The Taylor Swift songs played at the hall during breaks were a bonus too. Throughout the exam, I prayed every time I received a new test paper. Out of 12 subjects, 8 were difficult for me. My sure answers were only on a range of 10-20s out of 100. Although, I managed to remain calm and focused during the 4 days of the exam because my main goal was to pass the board exam.
At the last day of exam, I had very mixed emotions. I was teary eyed because I am glad I survived PLE at the same worried that I may fail the exam but I only hoped for the best to let go and let God. During the waiting days for the PLE results, I could say it was the most crucial days. I had thoughts of many what ifs. I browsed on Reddit posts from retakers in order to help me accept the things I cannot control of. I binged watched every Victoria Secret Fashion Show to distract me from social media. I prayed every day and at every church I visited. I prayed to God not just to pass the board exam but to have strength to accept whatever the result would be and yet He answered my prayer. On a random Saturday night at 12:40 AM, my boyfriend woke me up from sleep and said "Doctor na ka". Upon waking up, I was quite disoriented and thought he was joking but when he showed me the list of passers with my name on it, I cried with tears of joy. It took me a minute to pause and look at my complete name at the laptop screen as I was bestowed the license to become a doctor. I immediately called my mom and informed her that I passed. Everything felt surreal and I am so grateful with that moment.