#pluralhelp

[pluralhelp]

There's a headmate that almost always seems to answer when I call out to her and switches really easily with me (the host), does she constitute as a cohost?

Ultimately what words you use to describe y'alls system and it's working is up to you, if she wants to be a cohost she can be a cohost! I can definitely see how the term could work.

We have a headmate or two that could probably "count" as cohosts, but they don't want to be referred to as such. So yeah, the choice is hers!

[dear-systems]

hey i was wondering is there a list with system roles cus i cant find any and we are having a hard time figuring out the names of system roles

You don't need to have system roles! They can be helpful, but they're not required. They're mostly just words people have decided work as titles. Not every system has all of them, and it's common for members to have more than one role, and most of the time there are more than one of each role, especially in larger systems.

Here are some of the most common ones, though;

- Host - the member of the system who fronts the most. Alternatively, co-host, for when there's multiple sharing the role.

- Protector - Keeps the body/system safe (usually from a specific thing/in a specific way)

- Trauma holder - can be a type as well as a role; contains trauma memories so the rest of the system doesn't have to remember. Other similar forms like, pain holder, intrusive thought holder, also exist.

- Caretaker - Takes care of the body and/or system members. Sometimes system in general, other times specific members, especially littles.

- Internal Self-Helper (ISH) - similar to Caretaker, but more analytical if that makes sense. Typically rarely front.

- Persecutor - Hurts body and/or other system members (sometimes people say a persecutor hurts the host, but that's an oversimplification to the point of being incorrect; hurting the host qualifies, but it can be any other system member or all of them, and it's common to be just the body, which does not belong to the host any more than it does the rest of the system)

- Gatekeeper - Controls access to memories, parts of the innerworld, and/or other headmates. Especially common in polyfrag systems.

Bonus! Some identifiers, which are statements about what kind of person the headmate is, not the role they play (which is more akin to a title or a job). Again, not every system has these, or identifies them if they do:

-Base - usually a host; someone who cannot leave front completely

- Core - Member of the system who everyone split off from and/or member(s) who have been there more or less unchanged since the body was born. (Note: very different from an original, which does not exist, at least not in traumagenic systems)

- Little/Syskid - Member of the system who is a child (usually 0-12)

- Middle/Systeen - Member of the system who is a teenager

-Big - Member of the system who is an adult

-Age-slider - Member of the system who's age changes, usually but not always between a set age range. May or may not have an age they are most frequently.

-Extranth - A nonhuman headmate, especially animals

-Fragment - A member of a system who is less 3D than other members (most 'full' headmates are essentially indistinguishable from similar singlets, a fragment is); usually holds a specific memory and exists for a specific purpose. Can develop into a 'full' headmate later. Usually found in traumagenic systems.

-Introject - A headmate who is a 'copy' of/inspired by/etc someone/something outside the system. Usually divided into fictional introjects (fictives) and factual introjects (factives). NOTE: Fictive and factive are terms from the endogenic community (specifically soulbonders) and while the term is in common and free use throughout the plural community, including the DID community, disordered systems did not create the word. However, there is significant misinformation around this, mostly from endophobes.

[persecutorlifeandsupport]

what if my whole system/layer are from the same Source....and we ARE them. it was our past life and we have the same ideinity and everything in this life? so it is what i did to them....? and we can't seperate our "source" Because it IS who we are. and seperation from our "source" feels miserable for us all

A lot of introjects feel that way and you are absolutely right in that. There is no reason for you to try and separate yourselves if that doesn't benefit you. It may happen naturally, and that's okay, but it also might not!

Health and happiness is more important than fitting into the norm.

That being said, source isn't an excuse for cruel behaviour. That's largely why people may recommend it. You can't blame your mistakes on where you came from.

[dear-systems]

We recently discovered that we might be a system a month or two ago, and I'm terrified - all of my headmates (sans 2) have fronted just once and then left - one of which I fear I pushed away because I panicked that he co-fronted for nearly 2 days straight. He was so sweet and I have no idea how to internally communicate. I don't hear their voices, more thoughts and feelings, and I feel so bad - I feel like I'm making it all up. Why do they only front once? Did I do something wrong?

Sorry for being super late on this.

That isn't uncommon, honestly. We have several members who tried fronting once or twice and didn't like it, or who just don't front very often. It's also a possibility that they want to make themselves known, but don't want to scare you.

Coming to terms with your plurality can be really hard. It's okay to be scared, and it's okay to take it slow.

As for the last bit, that's common for system communication, especially in systems with less communication built up. It's also very uncommon for systems to experience each other's voices as an external voice, it's more like someone else thinking very loudly in your head. It occurs, of course, it is possible, but it's more the exception than the rule.

[dear-systems]

hey i have been thinking for a long time that i could be part of a system but im scared to discover that im faking being part of one how so i stop that feeling and where could i get info outside of tumbler about OSDD-1A and OSDD-1B systems

It's pretty common to feel like you're faking, but there's only one instance that that would be happening- if you made a concious and deliberate choice to make it up. If you're worried about it, you're not faking. You could be mistaken, but that isn't a moral failing and there's nothing wrong with being wrong.

As for resources, the Rings System is an OSDD-1b system who is active on YouTube and Twitter, as well as being explicitly inclusive and probably the biggest 1b voice. PluralityResource and The Plural Association have general help for plurals. First Person Plural is for DID specifically, and treats OSDD-1 as something of an afterthought, but most medical system groups do, and it's pretty old and established. Don't know much about it though, so take it with a grain of salt.

OSDD-1a is a lot harder to find stuff for- maybe try the magicallymedian tag?

[dear-systems]

hi, (probably) singlet here, i learnt that systems dont even need to know anything about the person to get an introject, and i was wondering if a system could get an introject of another system's alter, just off seeing a picture of what the alter looks like in headspace or when fronting. (i hope that isnt offensive, i'm just curious)

It's possible, just as it's possible to get a factive of a singlet you've seen only in photos. That being said, it would generally be considered rude at best to say this, at least if you clarify who they're an introject of. It's also likely that an introject whose source isn't very well known by anyone in the system wouldn't realize they're an introject at all.

[dear-systems]

So I'm a system and I have 5 alters. 3 main fronters, and 2 who only front on rare occasions.

The 3 who front are all kind of different versions of each other? But still not the same person. Like if we were each an evee but we evolved into sylvion, umbrella, and vaporeon respectively.

The 2 alters who rarely front are nonhuman and not even close to being the same person as us other 3.

So my question is, would we be a median system or no? Because like, some of us started as the same person, but we aren't anymore? We are just having a hard time figuring out what kind of system we would be.

Mixed type systems exist! It is definitely possible to have some members who are median and some who aren't. Usually this occurs with subsystems, but not necessarily.

[dear-systems]

hey i was wondering is it weird that i can sort of feel my alters but i cant communicate with them like i can feel them being co-con and i know that they are there and i also dont really dissociate that much so it feels like im always fronthing

It's not necessarily any weirder than we already are. A lot of systems experience a frontstuck default or host, and communication can be hard to build.

You'll get there. Reach out to them internally and externally if you can, and make to leave space for them to reach out to you, if that's something you want to do.