Safe Space for Questioning Plurals

[Drafts: 39 /Queue: 5/Inbox: 11 !! ASKS PAUSED !!] PRO-ENDO, PRO-WILLO, NO SYSCOURSE. ask blog for those who think they might be plural, or want to learn more about plural experiences.

[pluralhelp]

an ask blog for anything related to plurality

userbox by: @/murderscenemotes

Asks are closed for now[link]

ran by @spud-sys, @statesys and @alittletoofreaky

This is the blog where you can ask your questions and talk about your experiences related to plurality! more specifically, we are looking to help new and questioning plurals on their journey, and to shed light on what plurality can truly look like outside of the most well-known, covert presentations of DID

Want questions about symptoms, signs, terms or how-tos answered? Want real plural peoples' input on your experiences? Feel free to send an ask to our inbox! we will explain common plural experiences and signs, and give advice if requested. we are also willing to recommend possible terms or recommend research into certain communities (such as median or proxy) that askers may relate to or fall under. really, if you need help with anything plural-related, this is probably the right place to send an ask to.

other plurals and systems of all origins are welcome to add on to any of our posts.

this blog is pro-endo, pro-willo, pro-pluralpunk, and will not tolerate hate or syscourse as this is a safe space for questions and resources where all experiences are welcomed. hate mail will be deleted

[pluralhelp]

Hey there! We’re a polyfrag system with a large headcount for both alters and subsystems and we were wanting to read/hear about others experiences with having alot of headmates and subsystems. We have about 500 some members documented in our simply plural rn and the estimated headcount we were given was around 3k but we’re not sure how rigid that number is .

Hello! Answering this ask so other systems can add on with their own experiences.

We're probably somewhere in the middle of small and large, leaning small. So we can't really share ourselves, but hopefully you get some responses!

[pluralhelp]

Is it possible to have an headspace already ??? Because everytime I visualize my tulpa I see him in a room that is like all white, but the room has like toys and a bed too but its everything white. So is that like the headspace ???

Hello! Could totally be a headspace, and it's definitely possible to have a pre-existing headspace/not have to purposefully create one. :]

[pluralhelp]

what do you call an editive sourced from a character that's based on another character??? is there a term for the at???

Hello! I'm not sure honestly, I suppose that's up to you? My immediate thought was "double editive" but that might not be what you're looking for heh.

Depending on what you mean, there is Altive/AUtive[link]? For Alternate Universes? So if this character is based on the character in an AU, that could work. I think also Editive by itself works fine, since

"An editive is a headmate who is sourced from fanmade content for fictional works, with no connections to the original work other than the fanmade content, such as headcanons, AUs, fan edits, spoilers, etc."

That "etc" could easily encompass characters based on characters, given that could be fanmade content of the original character/work no?

Not sure really! If anyone knows of something that could work for this more specifically that'd be helpful

[pluralhelp]

I know that fictotypes aren't supposed to be able to talk to you in your head, so am I still even fictionkin if I'm experiencing this?

Hey! True, your fictotypes generally don't talk to you, and that could be a sign of plurality*

*many would argue that since plurality is a form of alterhumanity, then this and kintypes can easily intersect or share similarities to each other anyways

You can also totally be a fictionkin still/as well! Maybe you view your fictotype separately from yourself, maybe they're a fictive AND you're a fictionkin, etc. It's up to you/you both really!

[pluralhelp]

Do you know of ways to tell if im plural, especially if someone in my brain is actually a headmate or just a piece of my identity?

I have this possible headmate, who is basically the representation of the rational part of my brain, unclouded by emotions in a sense (i have depression and anxiety from trauma so this is pretty important). He basically acts as like a voice of reason, like if im thinking that im a shitty person he will try to shut it down by telling me that im not because of nuance which sounds pretty normal and i can function as a singlet most of the time.

But what gets me is that ever since i started genuinely looking deep into plurality ive started having like full on conversations with him. He can even disagree, like when i called my trauma responses stupid because i got annoyed by them he said theyre not, theyre the responses to trauma that a child shouldnt have experienced (which proves that he is more empathetic than i am, but tbf he had a point). Even right now when it comes to this topic hes like "why does it matter if were plural or not, im just the rational part of your brain i wont magically disappear if you decide were a singlet" but i care because i have no clue what the hell is going on??

I also have large gaps in memory too and it feels like the person i was before i got depression is not me on a very literal level too with my gender preference also changing which is just generally weird, i dont see other depressed people talk about this. Does everyone's voice of reason, anxiety/self loathing, grief, stoicism and anger sometimes feel like different people? Beats me.

I did not plan for this ask to be this long jesus, sorry. I guess this is kinda proof though no? I dont think the average singlet overthinks it this much. Dont feel pressured to asnwer this ask too quickly, this is a lot to digest even for me

Ding ding ding! Sounds plural to me!

Take your time digesting this definitely, and don't feel pressured to label yourselves as one thing or another (especially as your Rational Part seems fine with what you've got going now, he's also very right about the "I won't magically disappear if you decide were a singlet" thing), plural experiences are vast and don't have to be labeled if that stresses you out.

But from my perspective I'd say you're sounding very plural, and possibly system. You don't have to do anything about this, if you wanted to you could start simply with maybe finding a name for Rational Part if he wanted one, even just for ease of referring to yourselves. But feel free to stay how you are if both he and you are fine with that, y'know?

Thanks for sending this in, good luck on whatever you decide to do!

[pluralhelp]

so uh. we (traumagenic endo ally) are not so much questioning if we're a system, more so questioning stuff about being a system, but is it normal to like. front in pairs or groups at a time? if we just go with the flow of who's fronting, there's no few frequent fronters, it changes over time. Like, lately it's been me (chloe), phoebe, and bridget. conversely, we also have periods of time where we don't switch or cofront at all, and it's just one of us fronting for a while.

I'd say so yes! We can relate to this in a way to be honest, often we have two or more headmates who either don't want to or can't front without another specific headmate fronting with them*. Whereas our host is always fronting, and sometimes none of us front for extended periods of time!

*We call these "comfort fronters" :] (whether there is an "official" term for this or not, we're unaware of that!)

And having changing frequent fronters is also common among a lot of systems, we have pretty rigid frequents but we know of a system or two who has groups of frequent fronters who oscillate in and out, they refer to them as frequent fronter groups I believe.

[pluralhelp]

hiii it's the IFS anon again, had a follow-up question! (i do realize and understand that you said you weren't super familiar with the topic so no pressure if you aren't really sure how to answer /genuine)

you said there were "some distinct differences" between IFS and systemhood, and I guess i'm wondering what those are? still learning a lot about systemhood

Hi again! I'll try my best to answer :]

I think the main difference between systems and IFS is generally speaking headmates are sentient, or cannot necessarily be "controlled" by any one person, whereas with IFS therapy the idea is to purposefully attribute goals and perspectives to different areas of your mind in order to find your "core self" and work through things individually.

But these parts(?) are not separate beings/identities, they're more of? Someone labeling different parts of themselves in order to temporarily separate them? To then work through the problems as IF they were individuals, as oftentimes it's a lot easier to view things as separate problems or steps, instead of one large problem.

I think also it's less of "these things are completely different" and more "the reasons people do these things are different"?

For an example, a purposefully created system could have made their headmates with the intent in mind to create a system of headmates, of separate being or identities for whatever reason, possibly even for fun: Whereas someone doing IFS therapy is specifically taking parts of their mind or personality and separating/sectioning them with the intent to work through their problems individually, then "put themselves back together" and not to create sentient headmates/separate beings.

Anyways I suppose there are a lot of similarities between forms of plurality/systems* and IFS, especially given the vastness of plural experiences. And someone doing IFS could probably call themselves plural if they wanted to, as I said. But maybe the main distinctions would be sentience and intent?

*Not to mention, some systems could relate to IFS very strongly whereas others could have no connection at all. A system that has been around from birth for example, or a system that occurred unintentionally because of trauma, both are quite different from someone labeling different parts of themself as a form of therapy to work through emotions or problems, or to improve internal balance?

Hopefully this is eligible and helpful!

[pluralhelp]

Is it valid to have non-canon exomemories if you're a factive? (ik "canon" isn't the most accurate word for this context but i can't think of any other words to use.)

we thought their source had visited a certain landmark, but after some more research we found out they didn't actually go there (only their team did, for a music video.) but since we thought they did, they still have those exomemories. is that typical?

Definitely! Canon divergence isn't limited to just fictives, it applies to any form of introject, including factives. And it makes sense to me that they'd have those memories if it was the knowledge you had at the time of their formation, even if they turned out not to be "canon"

[pluralhelp]

OHH I WAS SO SCARED FOR A MIN BC I COULDNT FIND Y’ALL’S BLOG okay uhh. Question: Do you guys know 1) is it inconsiderate to say ‘this headmate has traits of [xyz mental illness]’ like in a sense of The body doesn’t have it, but this headmate’s source did (??) and so they show traits of it after every time we look it up. I think we sent you an ask about that bit earlier on IDK if we signed it haha. and 2) Do you have a list of blogs for ‘[mental illness]-headmate-culture-is’ ? We’ve seen a lot of general culture-is blogs, and came across a headmate-culture-is one earlier, but we haven’t seen one for both his (headmate’s) issue AND oriented for headmates within a whole.

— @endcrystal-cluster (PTommy writing this)

Hello!

So inherently disorders and alike are obviously very broad and personal things (as things related to the brain often are), and come with a lot of comorbidities/comorbid conditions, including having traits of something but not having enough to warrant a diagnosis. A lot of people with one thing also have traits of another. So, in my personal opinion, you could say "[name] has traits of [x]" as a way to explain or understand, y'know, behaviours and such if you think it's necessary, even if the rest of you/you bodily do not have the disorder. General notice though, this shouldn't be used as an excuse for anything, it's a reason.

But you can't control how headmates present and how they connect to their source, so if their source had a disorder that's transferred over, even in just random traits, then that's just it! The brain is strange like that

Besides, really as long as it's in good faith, having words to describe experiences can be incredibly validating. And even if the headmate only has traits, being able to connect with others who share those traits is really important!

For the list, I was unable to find any headmate specific blogs for disorders/mental illness, however most blogs like these also accept systems*/accept asks like "[x] system culture is" etc. This is just a very non extensive list of blogs like these WE are aware of or that we use ourselves and know are system safe :

*Some are run by systems themselves, I double checked and all seem to be either neutral on syscourse or accepting of all origins if that's important!

anxiety-culture-is[link] - This one actually has a large list, in xes pinned post, of similar culture is blogs!

borderline-culture-is[link]

npd-culture-is[link]

cluster-a-culture-is[link]

cluster-b-culture-is[link]

schizospec-culture-is[link]

paranoia-culture-is[link]

ocd-culture-is[link]

hpdcultureis[link]

adhd-culture-is[link]

I tried to include a wider variety, but again this is mostly blogs we use or knew of previously so! I implore you to look for others!

[pluralhelp]

Hii, hope your doing well. I have been questioning if I am system recently. I remember have suddenly gotten fixated on systems and now And questioning if I'm a system.

I always remembered having internal thoughts where it's like I'm talking to someone. Who responds feels like apart of me but not completely me. It's something I grown used to that I wouldn't tell what the usual normal singlet internal thoughts sound. Who ever response may have a slightly different voice internally and/or have a different personality. I also have discussions and conversations with 'myself' internally.

So random example is like;

1) "hey, you remember when you did x y ?.. Me: yeah I remember.

2) (me procrastinating with homework) "bro, why are you doing literally anything but studies? "

3) (me panicking over something) "hey, it's going to be alright. Theres no reason to worry about this"

Although I can't remember most of my internal dialogue, I do remember it was always some type of back and forth conversation and the use of the word 'you'. Sometimes they appear in different forms. Most often a fictional character I liked or an oc since I have a history of daydreaming when I was very young so that made me commonly zone out. I also dont think I'm controling it, at least not intentionally.

Hopefully these makes sense. But this explains everything I know that's most of my experience I can remember so far.

Your plural boy ! /ref /lh

Anyway; yes, this sounds very plural. Its very common for characters you make or characters you like to start talking back to you, especially if you focus and devote an good chunk of time thinking/developing them.

Esensually, based off what you described, you have formed an thoughtform! Congrats! I hope you have fun learning and getting to know them.

- Anddy

[pluralhelp]

hmm… ok. follow-up question (from the questioning-median-and-fict-something anon) - how common is it for fictives/fictionkins to not have source memories? Or maybe to have their source memories be. Memories of source, like of the show/whatever, not of. Their life from the inside??

maybe some context would be helpful - the thing im wondering if it’s a switch feels like more of a ‘mode’ to me. Like I’m still “me” but I’m also in (redacted-name)-mode, feeling almost a combination of his emotions and mine. (hence the median-questioning, non-possessive-switching and all that).

It’s usually for a short time (seconds/minutes) - and I can ‘lose/drop’ it easily - but it feels…? Like I see things a bit more from ‘his perspective’? despite not having any memories different than my own.

(of course the main question of ‘can fictives not have source memories’ is also somewhat complicated by the fact that the source in question plays very fast and loose with the fourth wall, so the characters themselves are (sometimes?) aware theyre being filmed… so.)

Hi! Intruiging questions.

Im not sure what your previous ask is, but i will answer!

Its totally fine and also common for people to see memories as more 3rd personish then actually 1st person. Memories can come in any form, i see mine usually in an AMV style or animatic.

Its also fine if an person does not have source memories, not everyone gets memories which is something alot of people don't mention.

And regarding the switching, thats totally normal too, infact its an common form of switching; instead of it being more literallg out of your body and not controling, it can be more like a wave and an new sense of perception.

I described it too my old therapist as if i was being Hugged and covered in an big blanket, with the being/alter holding thier arms over mine and showing me how to move.

Switching comes in alot of ways.

-Anddy

[pluralhelp]

hi! so I only recently discovered I'm plural and have no clue how to like talk to everyone else? idek who's all there, but is there a way to start any communication? I feel like anytime I do I'm responding to myself like not something/someone else but still just me

the most I have is when I like ask them something and I can feel their emotions towards the questions but that's about it, and I feel like that's me faking bc we aren't having full conversations

Hi! Funfact your question sparked the mods decision to make an FAQs and for me to start bulding an Discord server.

Anyway; internal communication, at first it may really feel like your just talking to nobody, especially if your internal voices do not change much.

Here is a thread of various people explaining methods of internal communication, hopefully you can find one that is helpful.

-Anddy

[pluralhelp]

I'm considering coming out as an OSDD system to our social worker (idk if that's the right term) so she knows more about how to help us -- how would I go about doing that?

We've established that I'm interested in psychology, and part of me (/sys) is worried that she'll see me as one of those people who fake mental disorders online for clout. She seems open-minded though; I think we're just nervous.

But like -- what are the most important things to tell her? How do I make sure our parents and the rest of school don't find out? This is the first time we're giving anyone a (near-)complete explanation of our system so I really want it to go well

Hewwo, hi!

Ive done simmilar, ill tell you how i did it.

Ive been told, or atleast read to not use very scientify language like you already know what your talking about, as that makes it seem like you looked into it and already self-diagnosed and are certian you have it ( which, ya probbly do if you looked into abunch of stuff at this point!)

So i suggest saying something like this, "Hey, (social) i wanna tell you something, i've been exprriancing alot of things that aern't really normal, like hearing things and seeing things thay aernt there, and i saw something called OSDD which really match what im experiancing, infact i think i already talked and met some of the other people in my head. I feel it is important for you to know this so you can better help me."

Its not perfect, and i just woke up lol, but it shoild get the ball rolling for you and your social worker to start this conversation.

And if anyone has other suggestions, pleases do!

The comunity runs bests with help.

-Anddy

[pluralhelp]

non-traumagenic system here just wanting to understand. why is rationalizer a traumagenic exclusive term? surely any system who has a headmate with a similar role to that should be able to use that term? and the definition in and of itself doesn’t scream “traumagenic exclusive”.. we’re just confused here.

Hi there! Pluralpedia has a page[link] on this, where it mentions one of the reasons terms may say "[x] exclusive" is because of Discourse, and not whether they may actually apply to other systems, as Pluralpedia being a resource/archive holds terms from many different users and in turn many different stances

As it says:

"Some terms are explicitly related to discourse and should be approached with that context in mind."

Often this doesn't mean it only makes sense for [x] systems, but was coined to be exclusive. Hope this helps!

[pluralhelp]

is it normal to split a new fictive like 30 minutes after watching the show because that just happened to us

welcome to life Mabel from Gravity Falls

Totally normal. As in, split tolerance can vary a lot between systems, and headmates! Sometimes you'll go ages with none, then have a bunch in quick succession, or you'll have them frequently, etc..! Honestly if it happens, it happens. There isn't much Normal or Not Normal since peoples experiences can vary so much. But this isn't >uncommon<

[pluralhelp]

hi again sorry for not following up, everything got really complicated and wild and there was everything from floorplan-making to coding involved. but I just wanted to say we got 📱🟣 back!!

- 🟧2 of ♟💭

good!!