one thing i really like about the phineas and ferb friend group is that both phineas and isabella are "leader" types in different ways.
phineas is an ideas guy and inspirational in like a Cool Creative Guy Believes In Us way, vs isabella's project management skills, practicality and efficiency. like... things would NOT get done in group settings between all five of them or when they involve more people because phineas doesn't have the organizational and delegation skills that isabella does. he and ferb only make the Just Us stuff work so well together because they're so close and phineas doesn't have to figure out how to Tell Ferb What He Wants
but just like phineas can't Run A Group without isabella, isabella can't do all the Cool and Creative and Exciting Adventure Stuff without phineas. she's great at accomplishing goals that someone else gives her or that circumstances demand, but that girl does NOT like to be in charge of figuring out What That Is. there's a reason she asks phineas "whatcha doin?" to figure out what SHE'S doing when it's not following the fireside girls playbook or combating an immediate threat.
Okay so I’ve been marathoning PnF (I got sick over the weekend so PnF is my comfort show) and I’ve noticed that many of Heinz’s schemes revolve around romance in some way so I thought it would be interesting to discuss this aspect of his schemes.
Let’s get started!
Romance
Heinz has abysmal luck when it comes to romance. Heinz’s upbringing left him with many emotional scars that make it difficult for him to interact with people, especially in the romance department. So to kick this off, I thought I’d start by looking at Heinz’s views on romance, which can be summed up well in the episodes Chez Platypus and What Do It Do?.
“I'm so tired of all these happy couples around me, romantic and laughing, mocking me with their happiness. Well, not anymore. My De Love-inator satellite will eliminate the feeling of love in the entire Tri-State Area. All I have to do is press this button. It would be so easy to press it right now. It would be so simple, but, you know, I've got a date tonight, and I like to stay optimistic. But if we don't hit it off, I'm definitely gonna ruin it for everyone else.”
Honestly, romance is such a complicated thing. Practically all of media revolves around romance (regardless of how well or poorly written it is, the point is that it’s nigh unavoidable no matter the type of media you consume). And if you’re dating luck is as poor as Heinz Doofenshmirtz’s, it’s pretty understandable as to why he’d be bitter and jealous about it.
He sees couples doing couple-y things, like going to a nice restaurant or going to concerts together, and desperately wants that to fill a void in his life. But it never works out, leading him to blame romance as a whole.
We’re gonna come back to Chez Platypus later.
“I wonder what would make someone want to build something to destroy romance in the first place.” -Isabella, What Do it Do?
In What Do it Do, unpleasant reminders of a teenage Heinz’s disastrous drive-in date with Linda cause him to build a robot to identify and destroy romantic elements from situations where romance is bound to happen.
Ironically, the anti-romance bot Phineas and Ferb reverse-engineered falls in love with the original anti-romance bot Heinz built, and they wind up flying off into the sunset together.
While romance can be infuriating and frustrating and confusing, the fact is that love (whether romantic, platonic, or familial) is here to stay, and as Newton’s First Law states, energy cannot be created or destroyed, only converted into different forms.
Heinz’s methods of casting blame are interesting, to say the least. Any parent-related trauma is taken out on Roger or an associated item such as lawn gnomes, rather than his own biological parents even if it would be more justified to go after them instead. Abstract concepts such as romance and handsomeness are targeted for causing Heinz’s insecurities to rise up. Heinz is inclined to blame himself if something occurs that was beyond his control, but he needs prodding to take accountability for things that actually were his fault.
Heinz’s trauma doesn’t translate well into a romantic life. For one thing, the romantic partner needs to understand Heinz as a whole person and not just base their attraction off looks or interests, which is likely why Heinz’s main method of dating post-divorce doesn’t work out.
The Dating Game
Online dating profiles are what Heinz typically uses to get dates (ex: Get that Bigfoot Out of My Face, Chez Platypus, Mindshare). But this method can only tell you so much about a person.
You would put things like ‘I love dogs’ or a sexual preference on a dating profile. Not ‘I hate my brother because he got all of our mother’s love and attention’ or ‘I was disowned and had to live with ocelots for a while’.
Online dating profiles are meant to make you an appealing prospective date, and putting any emotionally scarring backstory-related stuff would definitely turn away the majority of interested parties. If Heinz ever did put backstory stuff on his dating profile, this would probably wind up attracting people who view Heinz as a project to be molded to their liking, instead of accepting him wholeheartedly with personality flaws and all.
Going back to Chez Platypus, while there was a rather nice song about Heinz and his unnamed date’s budding attraction, it was probably for the best that the date was zapped by Heinz’s anti-love inator and left him.
For one thing, Heinz’s date really just lists superficial qualities about what she likes or doesn’t like about Heinz. She prefers tall, blond men, but she also likes windswept looks, lab coats, and evil.
Even if this relationship did make it past the first date, I can’t see Heinz being ultimately happy with her in the long run. For one thing, liking evil is their common ground. However, Heinz isn’t evil at all. He just puts on a huge show about it. The date might not like that, or she could possibly enable Heinz’s worst habits.
What Heinz needs is someone to challenge him, someone who’ll listen, someone to comfort and help him, someone to trust and love and accept him for who he is.
Even if Heinz was fully aware that the above qualities are truly what he’s seeking, those needs aren’t exactly something you can put on an online dating profile, nor are they something that’ll occur on a first date.
“She left me for that trash-talking 35-ton pile of blubber. And broke my fragile, 10-ounce utterly-too-human heart.”
The Elizabeth-leaving-Heinz-for-a-whale backstory shows that Heinz tends to go to extreme lengths for people he’s trying to impress, though for some reason they never appreciate what he’s trying to do for them. Seriously, if a guy made me a translator so I could understand what my favorite animals were saying, I would be over the moon. The animals could be insulting me but I wouldn’t care because the guy a lot of thought into the gift.
Heinz trusts too easily, especially if he’s trying to impress someone. That’s why it’s so easy to hurt him. They could be threatening to kill him with a missile to the face and he would still put 100% of his trust in them.
Charlene Doofenshmirtz
Despite his many, many dating failures, he did manage to woo Charlene, marry, and have Vanessa. Though it ended in divorce, Charlene is the only woman Heinz has dated who actually cares for Heinz. She encourages Vanessa to have a relationship with Heinz, and cares enough to help support him financially, long after their split.
Charlene says the reason for their divorce was because they wanted different things. While she was unable to give Heinz the deep emotional support he desperately needed, she does care in her own way. And that’s fine.
Which brings us to Heinz’s most successful relationship.
Perry the Platypus
Nemesis bonds are just as sacred and honored as a marriage. They both require time, effort, communication, understanding, disagreements, agreements, and love.
Perry ultimately provides everything Heinz needs, just as Heinz provides the things Perry can’t receive in his family and line of work. Perry and Heinz aren’t perfect. They hit snags here and there, especially in regards to communication.
Miscommunication and trust are the main obstacles Perry and Heinz face. In It’s About Time, Perry was under the impression that he and Heinz were an exclusive nemesis pair, while Heinz thought Perry wouldn’t mind if he fought other agents.
Given Heinz’s history, he’s not accustomed to someone wanting to stick around in the long term for him, especially in an exclusive relationship. His previous longest lasting relationship ended in divorce, so he probably figured it was a matter of time before Perry left, which pretty much leads into abandonment issues.
But once they get past all that and work out the kinks in their relationship?
They support and love each other.
Most of Heinz’s dates occur in Season 1 and early Season 2, where Heinz and Perry were going from nemeses to frenemies, Dating becomes much less important as Heinz begins to consider Perry a friend, family, rock, and angel rolled up into one little ball of unstoppable dynamic fury.
Conclusion
Heinz’s relationship with romance is a complicated one. Sure, he may have suffered heartbreak after heartbreak, but his time with Charlene gave him a daughter to treasure, and Perry is the emotional support and loving companion he wanted all along.
I just wanted to launch more in-depth into this because I love how subtle this character development is.
Perry’s default expressions are typically of the mindless pet variety...
Or a stoic, badass agent.
Perry doesn’t emote a lot in the early seasons, and the few times he does are typically played for comedy or drama if the episode calls for it. Which makes it a treat to see him display happiness, sadness, or anything else that’s not cool determination.
His job requires him to maintain a certain emotional distance from everybody, no matter what part of his life they’re involved in. If you show evil weakness, they’ll exploit it and dominate you. If you show an innocent person your fighting prowess, they’ll be in danger.
However, Perry is firmly attached to the Flynn-Fletchers and Doofenshmirtz, to the point that OWCA is the group that’s least deserving of Perry. When Perry gets uprooted from either of his two lives, he cries.
The episode “It’s About Time” is an extremely important episode for Heinz and Perry, because it kickstarts the question of what exactly they want out of their nemesis relationship. Look at all the expressions Perry has when he discovers that Heinz and Peter were nemeses.
The initial shock when he realizes that Heinz is fighting somebody. As in, somebody that’s not Perry.
The anger when he walks in.
Accusatory, of the mad, confused, and upset variety.
When the truth of the situation finally sinks in, and he has no choice but to leave.
He stops in the hallway when Heinz yells, “Curse you, Peter the Panda!”. That phrase was supposed to include him.
The song sequence speaks for itself. Now that the shock and anger are gone, there’s only sadness in it’s place.
It’s interesting to me how Perry doesn’t wear his hat here. Heinz and Perry are both in a vulnerable position. Heinz makes a promise to only hurt him in the right way, knowing that Perry could’ve thrown his hands up in the air and walk out permanently without accepting. Perry is not as stoic as he initially presented himself, and is displaying raw, genuine hurt to Heinz for the first time.
While the effects of Perry on Heinz’s life are more noticeable due to dialogue, Heinz gives Perry a chance to release his feelings. Perry is limited to basic pet interactions of “feed me” or “pet me” with the Flynn-Fletchers, but it’s really Phineas and Ferb who interpret what he wants. In OWCA, Perry is expected to perform his duties efficiently. But with Heinz? He can cry to soap operas, he can express a thank you for a meal, he can do the things his job refuses to let him have.
Of course, while Perry is free to display more emotions at Heinz’s place, that doesn’t mean he will. Which is understandable when he has to thwart him. But it can lead to issues in their personal relationship.
“You don’t communicate, you know that? You don’t share. I know nothing about your private life. You’re very closed off. Closed, that’s you.”
Perry and Heinz go through another major hurdle in Road to Danville. Heinz not thinking ahead and refusing to accept responsibility for stranding them in the desert annoys and angers Perry. On Heinz’s end, the issue of Perry being closed off has always been there.
Which leads him to accusing Perry of holding him back all these years. And it’s not in the “Perry’s a good guy who fights evil” way either.
When you have someone who wears his heart on his sleeve vs someone who takes refuge in hiding their emotions, it’s only natural that it would lead to conflict.
On a lighter note, the most surefire way to get Perry to smile is to put a winter associated figure in front of him.
What a dork.
Brief segue aside, the issue of being closed off can also affect his relationship with Phineas and Ferb, as we saw in the movie.
Perry would love to truly interact with Phineas and Ferb. But he can’t, because OWCA would rip him away from his family. He has to forever be a distant guardian, able to watch them laugh and play but being unable to participate unless they decide to involve him.
He wasn’t supposed to be attached. They were just a cover.
He couldn’t help it though.
And finally, there are the moments where he can show how proud he is of everyone. For pulling through a difficult situation, for an accomplishment, for being true to themselves.
Perry is more than an agent or family pet. He’s a brother, a guardian, a confidant, a member of the family.
Just out of curiosity, I decided to tally Roger’s actions into two categories: Political Decisions and Social/Ceremonial/Diplomatic Roles. From what I gathered, it seems that the position of mayor is primarily a social role (with signing papers if they come across the mayoral desk) while actual policies are drawn up by the city council.
I discounted Tri-Stone Area, which doesn’t take place in modern Danville, and episodes where Roger appeared but didn’t make a political decision or appear in a social role.
Final verdict: The two political decisions Roger made both involved putting Heinz in a position of power, so he’s pretty guilty of nepotism. In “The Beak”, Roger used Heinz as a fall guy to take the blame when he failed to ensure Danville’s safety against giant robot attacks. In ‘Quietest Day Ever’, Roger is set to crown a Handsome-inatored Heinz as supreme ruler.
As for the rest, Roger seems more interested in being a social butterfly and stroking his own ego by appealing to crowds of mesmerized voters by unveiling statues, paintings, structures, and hosting ceremonies.
The 1st Season introduced us to the characters. Season 2 gives us motivation and expanded characterization.
In Vanessassary Roughness, Heinz wants Vanessa to prove she’s responsible (which, coming from Heinz, is pretty darn hilarious). Vanessa wants a car so she doesn’t have to be ferried around on the back of Heinz’s scooter.
Starting with Hail Doofania, their interactions have a degree of playfulness to them. They don’t see eye to eye on things, but they can tease each other without worrying about the other person walking off in a huff or misunderstanding the point they were trying to get across.
Vanessa has a huge independence streak, and she wants to be seen as mature. All teens go through this at some point in their life, as adolescence is where they straddle the line of childhood vs adulthood. Vanessa’s song I’m Me displays her sense of identity, and she wears her confidence like a badge of honor.
Of course, there’s always room for growth. While they’re building on it, Vanessa hasn’t reached an understanding with Heinz yet.
She’s a great foil to Heinz, as she’s confident and independent with a large social group of like-minded peers she regularly hangs out with. Compare to Heinz, who’s insecure and seeking approval, whose social pool consists of balloons and mammals who get cash for blowing things up.
While their personalities clash, they both share subtle traits as well. Vanessa combines her mother’s calm disposition with her father’s persistence despite being setback multiple times. Vanessa and Heinz are nonconformists in society, acting against a social norm when it benefits them or someone else.
“Remember how you said if I got you a little Mary McGuffin doll, I’d be the world’s greatest dad?”
“Yeah, when I was like, seven....”
Finding Mary McGuffin is one of the best episodes in terms of Heinz and Vanessa interactions. Imagine a little Vanessa seeing a commercial on TV or seeing her classmates with this doll leads to her wanting one for herself, so she asks her dad.
And Heinz would never pass up the opportunity to be the world’s greatest dad. Imagine Heinz and Vanessa scouring toy stores and any other place that might have a few discounted toys, only to find out that the doll was discontinued. Imagine Vanessa being disappointed and Heinz being upset at seeing his little girl upset, and then he promises to find the doll for her. Then Vanessa says he’d be the world’s greatest dad if he managed that. Over the years, Vanessa has moved onto other things, but Heinz never forgot.
Vanessa once again showing her appreciation for something her dad has done. And the doll helps her come to another realization.
Vanessa now understands that while Heinz may embarrass her out in public, he was just trying to show his love for her.
I enjoy seeing how involved Heinz was in Vanessa’s life despite only having custody every other weekend. And while Heinz refuses to do good in favor of acts that he thinks are evil, raising Vanessa is one aspect where he doesn’t bother trying to suppress the good inside him.
And Vanessa really takes after her dad when she steals the doll from that kid.
In Summer Belongs to You, Vanessa is excited for a father-daughter vacation, only to discover Heinz had brought work with him on the trip. Continuing a problem in Season 1, Vanessa once again thinks that evil comes before her.
The water balloon knocking Vanessa off the tower shows that Heinz’s obsession with being evil can be extremely dangerous. If Phineas and the gang hadn’t flown by at that precise moment, Vanessa would’ve died. And Heinz would’ve been accidentally responsible. But hey, that’s an AU for another time.
“He always seem to put his work ahead of me. I just don’t know what to do.”
“Well, sometimes if you love somebody, you have to meet them halfway.”
Much like Heinz’s confession in It’s About Time, Ferb’s advice to Vanessa forms the basis of a deeper emotional connection between her and Heinz. Heinz doesn’t realize his actions can be embarrassing. As a daughter, Vanessa’s position doesn’t lie in correcting Heinz’s deep-seated emotional issues (Perry’s job). Heinz doesn’t quite get the whole punk-goth identity Vanessa has. Vanessa dismisses and ignores Heinz’s creations.
To correct this, Heinz can give Vanessa a part in the creation process. While she doesn’t need to take part in the actual scheme, maybe she can proofread Heinz’s monologue and polish up a few parts. This could lead into Vanessa being more willing to open up about school, her friends, or anything else on her mind.
Vanessa takes this to mean that she should take an interest in Heinz’s “work”, aka evil. She’s hesitant about it though.
This is where another similarity to Heinz comes into play. She has a superficial understanding of the word “evil.” While she and Heinz will act in their own self-interest, neither of them are truly evil people at heart.
Of course, what Ferb said can be taken literally as well.
List of evil things Vanessa has done so far: Snatched a doll out of a little girl’s hands, stole a scooter, pointing a hairdryer at a trained field agent and his superior.
No matter how much she denies it, she’s a little evil. I really enjoy seeing bits of Heinz come out in Vanessa.
Heinz demonstrates a lack of understanding of teenage subculture, which annoys Vanessa. In real life, it’s important for the parent to ask their kid questions about their interests and identity. While the parent may not completely understand it, they can still validate and support their child.
And when Heinz crashes the party, Vanessa is quick to deny her relation with him to her friends.
Perry gives Heinz the start he needs to be seen as “cool.” Heinz gains the admiration of the entire punk goth culture, and Vanessa discovers that her dad can be really awesome when he puts his mind to it. She’s enjoying a huge boost to her social standing too.
“It only matters that I think he’s cool.”
By the end of the episode, Vanessa learns that everyone else’s opinion of Heinz can take a hike. It doesn’t matter what they think, as long as she knows he traveled halfway around the world for her and spent a decade searching for a discontinued doll so she’d think of him as the world’s greatest dad.
Conclusion
Their relationship is much stronger than it was in Season 1. Vanessa doesn’t care what the public thinks anymore because she knows Heinz shows his affection in some rather unorthodox ways.
