genre and warnings: angst, best friend!ryusei, best friends to lovers, fluff, unrequited love for a few chapters, and swearing.
appearances of other exile tribe groups (fantastics, the rampage, other ballistik boyz members, generations, older exile groups, and e-girls appearances.)
❝often times at night when my heartbreak settles in, and i remember your your love that isn’t mine, i grieve for what could’ve been.❞ ― admin masahiro.
“kore, i don’t feel the same.”
was all he said in the moonlight while snow fell and melted on my face, the moonlight casting a glow onto my deep brown skin, as my best friend, my soulmate, my reason to feel alive and makes everyday tolerable. he stared me in the eyes, and i couldn’t seem to match his gaze anymore. his eyes were too much for me. it hurt too much, the sharp inhale i let out that seemed underwater to me in my sea of grief, it seemed so devastating, so distressing that i couldn’t feel his warm shoulder on my shoulder. his gentle “farewell”. his shoes slowly crushing the snow, and the slowly muted steps, as he walked away, he left so quietly, but it seemed louder as i set his words into my head.
it seemed like time went slower. that i couldn’t move. the snow seeped into my bones and i couldn’t even feel it.
when it passed through, that i was alone, he left me alone, and he didn’t want to stay. it felt like my heart exploded into shards that seemed microscopically small. a cold wind seemed to blow through my chest, it brought me to life. made me realize, made me see, he didn’t feel the same. but he took my heart with him.
and i felt wetness onto my cheeks, i thought it rained, that i couldn’t seem to realize it was my tears.
and my chest heaved.
my soul split into half.
my grief.
the confidence i had vanished.
my sadness peeled like layers that never ended.
he’s gone.
and he took me with him.
and i can’t seem to find the strength to go get myself back.
