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Tomorrow

Tomorrow it will be my birthday

tonight, i am drunk

tomorrow, i will be 23 years old

tonight, i am drunk

the day after tomorrow, i will be 24.

and after that, 25.

tonight, i am drunk

i just spoke to you for the last time.

i said my goodbyes, my i love yous

it would never have worked, dominick

i remember the night we went to the state fair, and you were scared to get on most of the rides

i think i pressured you a little bit

to push through and do some of them with me

i can see your face in bright neon light

smiling

screaming

you were scared, but you did it anyway.

you're stronger than i am

you're braver, i suppose.

i was never able to overcome the fear of this

the anxiety of us

it would never have worked, dominick

tomorrow is my birthday.

i just spoke to you for the last time.

and tonight, i'm drunk.

#poetry #poetictherapy #poem #poetrycommunity

I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. run run run far and wide until my bones ache and lungs split and it feels good. Hear that people? It feels good because I am the slave and ruler of my own body and I wish to do with it exactly as I please ***** Charlotte Eriksson ***** #poem #poetry #charlotteeriksson #personalpower #honest #authentic #poet #selfawareness #poeticwisdom #poetictherapy #identity #chaos #self #embodied #power #forceofnature #wild #vehemenceandemergence

#selfawareness #charlotteeriksson #personalpower #self #poem #identity #wild #embodied #poet #poetictherapy #poeticwisdom #forceofnature #vehemenceandemergence #honest #chaos #authentic #poetry #power

Some new songs take me back to when I was young Back before I knew what I’d become When I was young, when I was young There’s still so much I will learn from Past twenty-one Some pains and old stories Hold hidden glories Of who I’ll become But I still can’t stop thinking about when I was young Mom always knew what to say When I was younger Could feed me And satisfy all but my physical hunger It wasn’t her fault She was never sober The loss of her as a mother Put me into a spiritual slumber So in fourth grade I started living with Dad and his new Mrs. Jesus was the reason for the season Meaning only Easter and Christmas I can’t believe I missed this Threw away prayers For shooting stars and 11:11 wishes No wonder but I didn’t realize then I was throwing out my riches Twenty-one, it’s June I’m living it up in the sun Bright lights and new love Underneath was the beginning of going numb Forgot all about the One above And within More obsessed with getting thin The fire that burned on Got snuffed out by night life This isn’t right But still I’m holding onto it for dear life Like as if these temporary things were worth the fight Now Christ is out of sight I know this didn’t all happen over night Every decision for intimacy Drove a wedge between you and me For months after I was still begging “Please don’t leave” Desperation got the best of me I have no release No sense of ease Only stress and anxiety Us going different paths got me wishing I didn’t believe I used to be sober Whenever you were over Because for once I saw a future I wanted to remember So when you left I somehow dropped off the edge Went back to wishing on four leaf clovers That I’d get an opportunity to fall off the ledge I’ve always resorted to being the loner No weed in this system Only high on memories of being with him Guess I’ll have a drink or two Need something to get lost in Don’t know what sober is Because if it isn’t a substance It’s a person Then cocaine was offered to this loose end... “This song never sounded so good before...” I have now walked through a once locked door Love isn’t something I think I want anymore Cause I have tasted and seen A secret evil in my core “I now know what this song means.” Acting like my third eye had been opened Feeling like I know so many things So why is there this deep seed underneath Of pure, disgusting, misery? And will it ever leave Because I’m tossing and turning Will this misery ever leave me be? It’s strangely familiar This disruption In my soul Breaking me down as a whole This corruption In my brain Making my write as I slowly go insane I seriously thought this started as all fun and games Now even clean I’ll never be the same No I’ll never be the same Only Jesus could make a new Heart in this old frame... Coming back It will take time He is so patient As I get back in line Holding me close As He reveals and I find Glory, Love, and Grace All His design No, not mine Kill my pride You are the Most High In which I can rest and hide I trust You so keep pruning these branches As I cling to You, The Vine. So when these older memories come to mind I’ll remember you told me That healing takes time And with that, I’m fine.

#freewrite #poetry #poem #poetictherapy #jesus #healing #memories #time

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