All I do is look for you, and when you're not there. to talk to; I'm gone too.

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Australia
seen from South Africa
seen from Russia
seen from China
seen from Australia
seen from Netherlands

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from China

seen from Netherlands
seen from Japan
seen from China

seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
All I do is look for you, and when you're not there. to talk to; I'm gone too.
Mi Familia - Part 2
I didn't forget to get back to Mr. Grovano (sp?), from the first post, I just wanted to develop some more thoughts on the topics before I got to it.
In reality way back when I began expending my online engagements, around 2012 (earlier just privately with people I knew in life). I never engaged for those purposes, and don't still today. A lesson I was working through for professional business ventures then, was the first rule of "proper" business is building relationship's. So early on, some some was on "LinkedIn" with business leaders there, engaging when I could with my thoughts on questions their posts would offer; but only when I had something real and earnest to offer, If I didn't, I ignored it or learned from it, and watched comments of other.
It was after many hours of real ground work and other efforts to attain work, in the physical. Also, my intent was and never would be to solicit work or contact. I hold a sincere philosophy that I will contribute (even in the physical world) what I could legitimately if it may help. This is based on a belief that I feel everyone who is fortunate enough to have real beneficial knowledge that may help others should offer it in earnest (it's when someone begins taking advantage of that, I stop and they have shown me what they are).
When I tired of the "thinking work", I would hop over for "play time" and surf you tube and such. Noticing a lack of any real engagements, I just began commenting in response to personal knowledge I had about the leisure activities and artists I'd enjoyed, focusing on what the Angels were saying, not the side chatter commenters would go back and forth on about.
See, I never believed that I wasn't "good enough" to talk to with giants and I was not delirious in believing they weren't "just ppl" too (to humble in nature for that). And when their alter egos ran I show, I also knew that the only way it hears you is to speak in their chosen craft, strictly from the heart. See, growing up, I learned early on that in some of those tough neighborhoods, even if you knew nothing of it (like the inside life of gangster's and death row inmates as long as you didn't claim what your not, or speak foul from truth even the baddest and powerful would offer that respect back to you; and you would save your ass. Oh, yeah with them, you didn't engage until they engaged you - that is "Integrity" and the principal applies when sitting in a board room with men and women who held strings and resources a lot of artists only dream of - real ppl aren't bragging and don't confuse the use of words to concieve a lie about the fundamentals of truth.
I have mentioned in past post on Facebook, references to "me and the slow kids at the back of class" and the "13th Gallery or Row", and suggest that anything offered in way of social "incentives" be offered as fruit to them, unless specifically started otherwise. Both reference the inmates on Death Row specifically, but should be broadened to those doing life without parole.
And here's why, with some deep Biblical value they won't teach you in Sunday School, but I encourage anyone to ask their Spiritual Leadership about it.
Now, I have never read anywhere in the Bible that Jesus had to die. Why? I have heard sermon after sermon about that very fact, but watch what happens if we set our egos down and listen for a minute, to the magic that happens with a perspective that is consistent from beginning of the Bible to the end, not a conflicting God, but just ONE.
Rather the continual message preached time and again is that Jesus walked into that prison knowing his fate, but as God commanded every time He judged a nation, since Noah at least, God tells the servant charged that of they find even ONE honest person he will spare mankind. Jesus spent ~40 years telling people the good truth and everyone around him still chose not to stand with him when there tests were handed them. The last place Jesus had to check among the gentiles was in fact this filthy few. And in prison, on Death Row, they was one, despite how all else perceived that thief, he professed to Jesus the entire truth. And Jesus rewarded him in going to heaven that day on the cross, while the crowd saved an unrepentant sinner (all those followers of his couldn't even yell loud enough to sway Pontiuss' vote?
(I posted a similar one in hate mentioning the the theif and the liar going, but limited to a 10 min. computer session, I recognized the mistake after the post and never changed it - not done purposely for ill misunderstanding).
Now, this would in fact the passages (New Testament) where it is said "...better a thief, than an inveterate liar". That is how Jesus feed mankind. I always struggled with that reference were Jesus himself claims to be "... The Morning Star", a term often reserved for "Satan" or "The Devil". Well, this in fact helps resolve with more meaning.
See, Jesus had come with whole truth, just all the people rose up against him in their guilt and shame, he was in fact the adversary to evil and the father of lies (see how it pulls in to some real Old Testament Truths).
Another interesting conjecture I would make, is that very well known throughout Rome, the term referred to the plant Venus and the extension female dirty of "Love". And Jesus was in fact Love (It is well known through Hebrew History that many times the used "word play" to give a more "whole" truth to the testament - imagine if you had to write a hundred years of world history before the next attack). [Interesting side note you can find in the Romans "Claudius The God" the played a dice game then and the roll of three 6's was called a "Venus" or associated with the goddess].
Now, let's take this back to the begging (hold on kids, because we are gonna take this back to the begging and get into "grown ppl" meat). So, if we learn nothing from Jonah for one is that when God calls on to speak the truth, it was established from record what the people do to them and Jonah ran to hide, but God forced him out anyway. [Ever notice the "gap" in Old and New Testament? Well, it's more than a single page, of I remember it's about 300-400 years, a dark ages 🤔?].
Now, there is a group we never here about called "The Essenes", this sect is indeed responsible in part for some real important information the Bible mentions, but does not discuss. Ever here the reference in Chronicles I think? Well, of you read what little we do know about this sect we read some interesting things, if I recall correctly (it's been five years since I even reviewed it) even references about that elusive book, lost to mankind for what I believe is a very good reason. However, in the recorded history of the Essenes, there is instruction regarding military formations, which do seem to state if I recall correctly the shape of a man (starting the right and letft arms of God). Now, of you're unaware large portions of the old testament infact regard rules and regulations for military encampments, Moses was a General I believe but some smart kids keep wanting to dumb things up by changing words to fit their purpose though and some also say King (but I believe it conflicts with Judges, but mention it to look at for yourselves, not to deceive any one more than the evangelists already have).
See, I earnestly believe that from the fractured pieces I have been able to read, That the formation and military references in fact are evident at the very first attempt by any people's on this Earth to attempt a complete "Rome" or Global Unity, under a banner today we call the Hebrews (what else could have pissed God off so bad he scattered them all over the Earth?). I can't say for certain and the time further to study the details seem fruitless to me as I am with peace at how perfectly it aligns with every fact we have and records of events since [See why the US Constitution tells US to stay out of others BS. In my opinion after the Revolutionary war WWII was the only justifiable obligation we had to humanity. WWI was just a debt repayment to France, so they could get their Country back].
Now let's skip back to Jesus, after that early global attempt, that scattering was lost in hopes mankind wouldn't be dumb enough to try it a again after the hell it must have rained down on Earth, except this group the Essenes, well the candle to nothing and retreated to caves with things like The Dead Sea Scrolls. See, this earliest group of Hebrews was obligated by the burden ALL true Hebrews are bound to God alone by, they are in fact to forever stand record of pure truth, regardless of opinion of others (Ask any of your Hebrew friends of the Torah ain't enough to convince you).
While keeping in this caves these people practiced strict early religious ceremonies, not like the ones you have today, but in some part we see references like the shaving of all the hair by those in Samuels time and that sects purity rituals. Letting the world forget about them to some extent. I personally think that the early years of Jesus we have lost, was split between the great libraries of Alexandria and later as he came off age with that sect of Essenes (I do not know if other records help support this, and it's not a blind "dart" as he seems to have been knowledgeable to their practices. But don't argue, just read a bit for yourselves.
Anyway, Jesus saved a man on Death Row, and I like to think he walkes those halls still today, here for us, but serving them alone as that ONE person saved the 🌎 from Jesus' commands, when everyone else did just what God tells us not too. Hell, even Peter was so scared he bribed a guard once he got in their to see what Jesus had done (you all really think a magical thing floated down from the air?). Now, tell me Peter was the Rock Jesus built his church on, not God.
Turns out this is represented in the very first instruction mercy God gives us in Genesis 1. If we stop kidding ourselves about Caine and Able, let's have a look at what we do know for fact today, ourselves. Everyone knows this as the first "murder" that further draped mankind in the darkness of guilt and misery. But I struggle with Moses command from God and God's real actions recorded for us. See, He "walks" Cain to his banishment but spares his life? Why if Able was the "favored" one does he let him get killed? I don't know about your god, but I know for certain the Hebrew one can do anything He wants, unless your Bibles have something different, let me know.
I do believe that this record left offers a better understanding of a bunch of pieces we know about other closely related things. See, I believe, as Cain was the elder, Esau and Ishmael, he like them probably understood a bit more about Adam and Eve's travails in the Garden then the younger Isaac and Jacob (I'm not sure if I'll get to that tonight though, well see). Cain even had the first City named after him, who knows, maybe it was called Canaan at some time later.
I imagine that Able being younger probably got a bit too boastful when they had that talk in the field (in the Hebrew Language "Able" means "vanity" if I recall right. And pride being the first sin that cast Satan down from the Heavens was the reason Cain slew him that day. When God came to ask of the events, I'd imagine he offered that and God understood he was doing what was right, so He spared his life, but punished him with the 2nd "banishment" after Adam and Eve (I can get into a great linking here that helps the message better resolve with the fundamental truth of God and in fact "mirrors" similar lessons about humanity in a couple other religions - but I'll save it for @taylorswift not a public display for The 🌎). And further more He let Able die despite a Mother's cries.
Now an interesting point we gloss over in some of those "generation" listings. After Cain, the next person God ever "walks" with is a man named Enoch (now, I'll leave a little obscurity here as there are two, close in that book but way far apart in truth. And I do that so others can go learn for themselves instead eating from baby spoons).
Often we are told that he was favored by God and he took had a city named after him. But see one of those Enoches, wasn't so good, he sat up on his throne in pride and might crying to the Lord about how evil all the people are and prayed God to kill them all. You see like Cain walked Able out to the field, God walked Enoch out to "somewhere" he was never seen again (My guess is since God is a jealous God He laid him next to Able or Jimmy Hoffa, no one can say for certain 😉).
See, this perspective agrees and makes more consistent the one true God that book of Contracts tells we are to obey, not done dueling conflicting natures of changing messages hoping to get something right). Early on in life, I started thinking along with the other slow kids in class that if God really knows how creations, he'd know just how dumb I am. And if that's true, why would he leave the only books we have to know Him so hard to understand. But like the slow kids, we don't talk about it, because all the smart kids have there tests done and Pastors like Allan Jackson are grading them 100%, while we're still trying to understand why one God would conflict Himself to the world? Hell He even confused languages to make it worse (then I realized, Maybe all the smart kids and teachers, were just as guilty as that liar Jesus sent to Hades While God cried down from the sky (why else you think there was a great trembling in the Earth?).
**I'll stop they for now, not all I wanted to get done, but it's a lot. I suggest before your first moves may be to attack a part, I'd suggest that maybe the words I write aren't untruths, but maybe you haven't found all the pieces yet so it don't match what Sunday School class told you think (I started reading the Bible around 8-9 I believe, my mother was the most perfect Christian I knew, while she was alive. She once said when I asked about the family Bible that it contained everything man had ever done and learned. I was enamored but that, certainly after 2000, you'd think it would be thicker than that.
Three Days Ago
He had forgotten some clothes in the dryer when going back to the laundry room for them, she bumped into his chest on her way out. A bit shocked she looked up and captured his eyes. The words of apology were frozen at the tip of her tongue as she looked at him. At what seemed like eternity, but in fact only mere seconds went by, "the same things as that first time...", she thought.
She forced a smile and laugh that nervous kind that gives you an excuse all girls use when they are becoming women. Like the voices of all teenagers force to shed once they become aware that suddenly, some moments have the feelings of intimacy attached. She looked past him and began to move towards the door as her nervous laugh became still air.
He begins to apologize "look, I'm really sorry" he said with her cutting him off before he finished. "It's no big deal" she forced out. He started to laugh and said, not for bumping into you, she looked at him with curiosity, "No, I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself before
He was right, he had been living above her mother's garage for three months already. In fact her mom forced them out together one night during the first week of moving in, but the two could never seem to make schedules work for some excuse or another.
"I got this bottle of wine, and it's gonna go bad if I don't finish it tonight, why don't you come up and help me with it?" he managed to ask with an undetected fein of confidence.
"I have a prior engagement, but I suppose washing my hair can wait.." is all she said before he jumped in with, "oh, that's all right, I will just tell the wine and beer you had better things to do. They both laughed a bit unsure if the banter was to dorky or not; easing the embarrassment they felt she finished "...no, tell them I wouldn't miss it for the world. What time? Not even aware that with the turn of a few words she took a dorky situation and was turning it hot. "How about, not one minute before you're ready. Just come on up, I will be around. She blushed and walked away as he grabbed the clothes that got him in this mess.
A little while later he heard the sound of a patter at his door. That kind of knock one gives themselves to be rid of the guilt of trying, but offered in hopes they don't hear to answer. Just as she finished the courtesy rap and was counting off the seconds due of respect in her mind, he grabbed the knob, welcoming her in.
She brushed past him and into the living room, he shut the door and turned to walk towards the kitchen. "Please, feel free to make yourself comfortable, I just have a couple things to finish in here. She started looking at some of the hangings on his walls "what? No grand tour of the bedroom first?" she quipped hiding the hesitation behind her words. A smile force through his jaw despite every strength he tried in holding it back, maintaining his composure.
"Well, that was the plan, but then I didn't think we should wake my girlfriend" he finished while walking out with two glasses of red wine. He handed her one with a smile and continued, "but, if it's not a problem for you..." fell from his tongue as he went back to the kitchen one brought out a short charcuterie board and set it on the coffee table in front of her while taking a seat next to it. She started to force out some generic words hoping to break the awkward silence when he finished a drink from his glass, interrupting her he said " I'm really sorry to have been ignoring you since that first night, it's just...", her head started to look up from her lap attempting to meet his eyes.
"...it's just something happened when we first met, reservations, I couldn't ignore. And that just made everything about you more awkward. It was easier to act like it never happened". By now he had her attention and instead of looking at her forehead they were talking to each other. The acknowledgement itself seemed to relax her a bit and the tenses of her guarded posture seemed to ease as she leaned back into the vision and took another drink.
He took this as a sign and moved, positioning himself on the open spot next to her on the couch. She finished her sip, "No, I could have handled it better too" she extended as a peace offering. "It's just, my mom..." she sighed as her cell phone began to vibrate her purse. Forcing it to silence she tossed it back into her bag. "It's just my mom's excitement can sometimes be overbearing; and it ruins thing before they can even get started. Then in times like that, I'm stuck embarrassed the rest of the night, making things not so much fun for anyone".
Her voice began to to silence down with shyness as he reached in to pick at the cheese and crackers on the board. He laughed a bit "I definitely picked up on that". She began to growl a string of verbs with a low purr towards the reminder the discussion was bringing up. "Look, you can't get upset for someone who honestly has your best always in thought. Besides it's not her fault we couldn't figure out how to overcome embarrassment with each other that evening".
He grabbed their glasses and walked in to refill them, emptying the bottle. When he came out he was surprised to find her more relaxed, her demeanor seemed to take an aura, there was something about the inconspicuous effort to exude an aroma of confident sexiness through the room. His mind raced through a rolodex of historical moments as he noticed this when giving back her glass. As the music filled the room...
He sat back down and was about to speak when she said "so, what should we do about this?" The way she made it seem so effortless mixed with the physical parts of childhood that hadn't fully shed her. Even still at 22 many of them lingered around her being. He reached by her leg to grab a couple bites from the meat and cheese tray. "I think we've already started" he said.
"But that's not why I asked you here tonight" he said. She sat up and leaned towards him a bit, her fingers suggestively dancing across his knee as she took another sip and reached for more cheese, "oh, yeah? What'd you have in mind then?" she finished as nervous but willing grin came across her lips. He cut the drink of short, a bit surprised at her seductiveness.
He only reasoned from her initiation an appropriate response of touch was a welcome invitation to get closer to her made it all right that his brushed her cheek as his thumb gently traced the bottom of the chin. Just then, her phone began vibrating again, and they both laughed in disbelief. Once she would silence it though, not five seconds later it would go off again, four times it did this before finally shutting it off. Tossing it back down finally, she attempted to regain composure and started with "so, where were we exactly?".
He tried to keep back his smile, but it was to hard, partly slipping from his lips. Grabbing the two empty glasses and taking them to the sink, he walked quickly back. He reached down and grabbed her hand to help her stand up, she seemed a bit confused as she started to get up. He had positioned himself just right so she would have to move closer into his chest when as she did.
Once they both had become erect, he guided her eyes to his and began "He said, it's just that first time, when I first saw you, something happened with space and time, something I'd only ever read about. And when that, that realization hits, there is something you have no control over that can hurt you more than death. I wasn't sure, if I could chance life to explore that feeling about you." She blushed a bit and glanced away from his eyes, wanting to interrupt him to offer a way out, signaling it was OK to leave some things unspoken. Besides, that's not even how the script reads.
"I know he circle, I know the pain and the excuse of growth evil uses to believe it's ok. And I can play it well, but not with you, any games would just be fake." By know her lips seemed guided by invisible forces into his, leaning in just as their lips met, he stepped back and smiled. "Not yet." he said smiling slightly and guided her to the door. "You should probably go tonight." if his voice sounded disappointed, he couldn't he was saying it himself, any other girl would have been easy, but not her.
More puzzled, he began to smile bigger "Everything was perfect tonight, and I'd like to continue this tomorrow. And I bet your mom is probably at her limit of you ignoring her calls". The sudden reference to her mom broke the seriousness and they both have it a hushed laugh as sighs of relief. He opened the door, "so tomorrow night?". "Yeah, tomorrow, what time"? "I'll call you early". As the dialogue quieted down, there was a stillness as one last glance locked them in stillness as she turned and walked away.
He blushed, shook his head and shut the door as she disappeared into midnight.
https://youtu.be/7nqcL0mjMjw
They ask me “what I think?”. “I Don’t”. I’m just a collection of images and words people before me put forth.
I can still never tell if the sun is rising or setting. Everything they taught me in school says we just go round-n-round.