a perfect stranger
hello my muppets happy wednesday!!!
a while ago in one of the cadnis fics i mentioned that i wasn’t sure if i wanted the plastics to have kids, because they strike me as the type of people that could really go either way. but, the consensus was unanimously BABY so. here is baby.
important thing: i write gretchen as krytstina’s rather than ashley’s, which is why gretchen’s family speaks spanish in this :)
a super big thank you to all my trenchcoat gremlins for helping me with scene ideas and things :)) and especially to etchedstars for answering all my probably stupid questions about judaism and picking the baby’s hebrew names :)
tw for
pregnancy
non-graphic childbirth
anxiety
and as always if i’ve missed something please let me know so i can add it :)
enjoy!
—————
“Aah! I mean, uh. Hi, Regina,” Janis greets when she opens her front door to find Regina on the other side. “Uh… do you and Caddy have a thing? She didn’t tell me-“
“No, um…” Regina mumbles. “I was wondering if I could talk. To you.”
Janis raises an eyebrow, but steps back to let her into her house. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Regina confirms. “Well, no, but… yeah.”
“What?” Janis asks in confusion. “You know what, never mind, hold on. Baby!”
“What, love?!” Cady calls from her office.
“Reggie’s here, she says she needs to talk to me! Can you take a break?”
“Weggie!” Leo and Layla cheer when they hear her name, barreling down the hallway to greet their auntie.
“Hi, guys,” Regina chuckles. She gives each a gentle hug as they crash into her legs. “God, you two are getting so grown up!”
“Hi, Regina,” Cady greets as she heads down to see her as well. “You guys take your time, I’ll try to keep the smalls out of your hair.”
“Thanks,” Regina says sheepishly but thankfully. Cady takes the twins to the living room to go play, while Janis leads Regina to the back deck to talk in private.
“So what’s up?” she asks once they’re both seated. “You look tense. This isn’t another apology, is it?”
“Not this time,” Regina says anxiously. “Uhm… I need advice.”
Janis looks at her blankly. “Uh… I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly the most responsible person on the planet.”
“I know that,” Regina sighs. “God knows I know that. But… okay, there’s no way around this. Gretchen and Karen both want a baby but I’m too scared and I feel like I’m holding them back from being happy and-“
“Whoa! Whoa, Regina,” Janis hushes. “Slow down, one thing at a time. You’re talking about kids?”
“They are. A kid,” Regina mumbles. “Gretchen really wants one, and Karen wants one more every day. But I don’t know if I’m ready to be a mom.”
Janis hums sadly but empathetically. “Okay. What else?”
“I just… I see how bad Gretch wants it, and I think about how happy it would make her if we had a child. She would be such a good parent, and so would KK. And I’m just… stuck in the way. Making it all about me, again. I’m the only hurdle. I feel like I’m holding them back from happiness, or whatever. And I’m afraid one day they’ll realize they want a baby more than they want… me.”
Janis sighs heavily. “Okay, well… god, where do I even- this is gonna sound rude, but why are you here?”
“Because you did it,” Regina mumbles. “The Janis I know would have to have been talked into having a baby. So you must’ve been in at least a similar place, and then realized something I’m missing. Was hoping you could fill me in.”
Janis nods. “You’re right about that. Cads and I had a loooot of long talks about it before we were both ready to start trying for a baby.”
“We’ve had so many talks,” Regina sighs. “But I’m always just… stuck here.”
“Okay,” Janis continues. “Have you told them you don’t feel ready?”
“Yeah,” Regina says. “But they say I’d be a great mom. I just don’t… see what they see, I guess.”
“Do you know why you aren’t ready? Like, can you put your finger on any specific reason?”
“My dad,” Regina whispers, fiddling with one of her rings. “And… you.”
“Me?”
“What I did to you,” Regina clarifies. “If my kid turned out like me… I don’t know what I’d do. Or if I did something to hurt them, god knows...”
“You wouldn’t,” Janis says. “If you’re this worried about it. You hurt me on purpose because you didn’t care. Anything you do now would be accidental. And you’ve been through what you’ve been through. If your kid somehow turned out like you then you’d recognize the signs. Nip it in the bud, get them the help they’d need. But honestly, with Gretchen and Karen as their other moms, I don’t think that’s… possible, really.”
Regina thinks about this for a second and nods. “But babies are so much work.”
“You don’t have to have a baby,” Janis reminds her. “You could adopt an older kid.”
“I know. We’ve talked about that, but Gretchen really wants to be pregnant,” Regina sighs. “She wants to know what it’s like firsthand, or something.”
“Rough,” Janis chuckles. “It’s rough. But that’s her call. Babies are really tough, yeah, but they’re also… so… I don’t even know how to describe it. There’s nothing else like it.”
“Like what?”
“Like knowing they’re yours,” Janis says quietly, peeking in through the window at her wife chasing their almost four-year-olds around the living room. “I had this moment with both of them when they were born. Holding them for the first time. They just looked at me, all bundled in their little blankets. And it just… hit me like a train, that these were mine. They looked at me like I was the only person in the world. There was so much trust in their eyes. And I realized that’s because they don’t know who I was before them. I get to grow with them. But it’s my job to give them a good life, and they’re… my kids. My babies.”
“Do you ever regret it?” Regina asks quietly. Janis genuinely considers it for a long moment before she shakes her head.
“No. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s fucking hard. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do. But it’s so worth it. They’ll be screaming and pitching tantrums and fighting and making messes and driving you up the wall one minute, and you think you’re about to snap, and then they get that look again, and you just know they trust and love you more than anything in the world. Then they’re saying, ‘I love you Mommy’ in their sweet little voices and running to you after a bad dream or an owie because they know you can fix it. And you hold your baby close and realize you wouldn’t change anything about them. I don’t regret it at all.”
“You make it sound so beautiful.”
“It is,” Janis says quietly. “Like a diamond. Lots of pressure and stress, but the result is the most beautiful thing you can imagine.”
“You are the most poetic person I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing,” Regina tuts.
“There’s the Regina I know,” Janis chuckles. “Did I get through to you?”
Regina nods. “Thank you. I do actually appreciate it. A lot.”
Janis nods back. “Anytime. Good luck with whichever way you decide to go.”
“Thank you,” Regina repeats. Janis leads her back inside, and Regina heads back home after another quick hug from her nieces and Cady.
-
“I want to do it,” Regina says immediately when she enters the apartment again. Her partners both look at her. “I-I want to have a baby.”
————-
Regina’s birthday rolls around in April. She had nearly forgotten amidst the chaos of the previous week. Gretchen had gotten a rather severe case of food poisoning from some restaurant they went to for a date. Regina had been frantically trying to nurse her back to health and also figure it out where it had been to bring about the proper consequences.
“Happy birthdaaaaaay,” Gretchen greets with a bit more energy than she’s had as she comes to wake Regina up. Regina grumbles into her pillow crankily.
“Don’t want birthday yet. Five more minutes.”
“Noooo, come on, sweetheart,” Gretchen chuckles. “Karen and I made your favorite breakfast.”
That gets one icy blue eye to pop open. “Crepes?”
“Mmhmm. And I have one present that you’re allowed to open before we eat,” Gretchen coaxes. That gets the other eye to appear. “Come on, sleepyhead, it’s your special day.”
“Fine,” Regina sighs crankily, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Gretchen bites her lip to hold back a laugh at her bedhead. “Don’t you dare.”
“I’m sorry, you just look like a birds nest!” Gretchen chuckles. “And then you pout like that, how am I supposed to be able to hold back a laugh at that?”
“Because you’re supposed to love me. Not laugh at my stupid hair,” Regina huffs, blowing a blonde strand away as it falls into her face.
“I do love you. You know that. I love you a whole lot,” Gretchen says. She pushes the blonde mess off Regina’s forehead and plants a sweet kiss there. “Now come on. Go take a quick shower and then come eat. I want to see how you react to this present.”
“Okay,” Regina sighs. Gretchen stands up to let Regina roll out of bed, and pulls her into a kiss before she heads into the en-suite. Regina finally cracks a smile and heads to get ready to face a new day.
—-
“Okay, what’s this magical present you have?”
Gretchen smiles widely at her and hands over a small box. It’s about jewelry sized, maybe it’s a new bracelet or necklace.
“Ooh!” Regina squeals as she takes it. She carefully removes the wrapping paper and lifts the lid off the box.
She’s stunned to see a pregnancy test inside. A positive pregnancy test, to be precise. And, adorably, Gretchen has written ‘Hi mommy!’ on the end with a marker. Regina pulls it out with violently shaking hands and stares at it. It quickly goes blurry with the tears pooling in her eyes.
“You-you’re pregnant?” she chokes, looking up at Gretchen. “It worked?”
Gretchen nods and reaches for her. Regina practically leaps across the counter to hug her.
“I knew it!” Karen yells, hugging Gretchen from behind so she’s carefully sandwiched between them.
“I told you last night, Karebear,” Gretchen chuckles.
“Oh yeah. Well, I knew before you told me!”
“Of course you did. You know everything,” Regina chuckles before choking out a sob. “Oh my god, we’re having a baby!”
“We’re having a baby!” Gretchen confirms with a watery laugh. She tenses suddenly and anxiously asks, “Are-are you happy?”
“Yeah,” Regina whispers. “Yeah, love, I’m happy.”
—————
A week later, they all head to the doctor for the first ultrasound. Regina, ironically, is the most nervous, clinging to Gretchen’s hand protectively and watching the nurses like a hawk as they get her partner prepped.
“Ginny, it’s gonna be fine,” Gretchen says soothingly. “I feel okay, we don’t have anything to worry about yet.”
“Yet,” Regina echoes with a huff. “What if the baby isn’t okay?”
“Then we’ll find out today what’s going on and deal with it,” Karen says. “But we have every reason to believe they’re gonna be perfectly fine.”
Regina pouts and considers everything her partners have said as the doctor comes in to get everything started. Regina snaps back out of her thoughts when their baby is suddenly visible on the screen.
“Here’s your little one,” the doctor says, shifting slightly so they can all see. It looks more like a little blob than anything, but it’s… definitely their baby. “Looks absolutely perfect.”
“That’s the baby?” Regina sniffles, her eyes suddenly welling with tears.
“Mmhmm,” the doctor replies. “You can just about see some little extremities starting to form, and their head is up here.”
“And they’re okay?” Gretchen asks, squeezing her partners’ hands.
“They certainly seem to be. Heartbeat looks strong, you can see that here. And their growth is right on track for how far along you are.”
“They have a heartbeat?” Karen asks quietly. The doctor nods.
“Would you like to hear?”
All three of them nod, so the doctor flips a switch to turn on the sound. She shifts for a moment, and suddenly an echoey pulsing sound fills the room.
“That’s our baby,” Gretchen sobs, looking up at Regina and Karen. They both look back at her with matching tearful expressions.
“They’re perfect already,” Regina murmurs, bending to kiss Gretchen’s forehead.
“I can’t wait to meet them,” Karen whispers.
“Our little nugget,” Gretchen hums, resting a gentle hand on her tummy. “Already so loved.”
————-
Gretchen’s birthday comes around in May. They usually go home to Illinois for her birthday since it’s in the middle of the three, and celebrate all their birthdays in one go with their families. They’re all very excited to have a special present for everyone else, for a change.
“Happy birthday, munchkin,” Gretchen’s older sibling, Dylan, greets as soon as she walks in the door. Gretchen rolls her eyes and bats their hand away as they ruffle her hair.
“Dyl, I’m thirty-two, I’m not ‘munchkin’ anymore,” she huffs.
“You’re only 5’4”. You stop being munchkin when you get taller than me.”
“I hate you.”
“Love you too. Mom got your room all ready.”
“Thanks, bubs.”
Regina and Karen follow her through the massive house to Gretchen’s childhood bedroom. Her old full size bed has been subbed out for a king to make room for all of them, but nothing else has been changed since she left it in college. It’s always her home.
“How are you feeling, love?” Regina asks as she gets started unpacking. Karen follows her lead and unpacks their other suitcase.
“I’m fine,” Gretchen hums. Regina looks at her and raises a knowing eyebrow. “I’m… I’m a little scared.”
“Of what?”
“How they’ll react. I know they love me. And you. But our relationship is a little bit… unconventional, y’know? My family is really traditional. And now we’re adding a baby to everything…”
“They’ve had time to get used to how our dynamic works,” Karen comforts. “They’re letting us stay in the same room, finally. We can answer any questions they might have about the baby, and any fallout that might happen would be aimed at us and not you. Ginny and I can deal with that ourselves and help you figure out the rest of everything. But your mom loves babies, I think she’s gonna be so excited.”
“Yeah, Button, I think they’ll mostly be concerned with you and making sure you and the baby are both healthy,” Regina adds. “Do you still want to tell them tonight?”
“Yeah. I want to get the announcement out of the way so I can have the rest of the trip to celebrate and recover, I guess,” Gretchen sighs. “But I want a nap first.”
“Alright, love,” Karen laughs. “Nap time it is. Good practice before the baby gets here.”
Gretchen laughs and cuddles into her for a quick rest.
—-
“Mama, Dad, we have some news,” Gretchen says anxiously after a delicious welcome home/happy birthday dinner.
“What is it, mija?” her mother asks as she starts clearing the table.
“Put that down,” Regina advises kindly. Gretchen’s mother listens confusedly, resting the small stack of fragile plates back on the table.
“We’re having a baby. I’m pregnant,” Gretchen says. She sighs in relief and smiles as her mother screams in delight and rushes to hug her, spluttering her excitement in a harried and jumbled mix of English and Spanish. Her father quickly follows, gently but aggressively pulling her into a hug and murmuring his congratulations into her hair.
“Wait, what?” Dylan asks, finally looking up from their phone. “Shit, really? You’re pregnant?”
“Yeah,” Gretchen chuckles. Dylan also scrambles out of their chair and runs to join in the family hug. A rare, but not unwelcome occasion. Her father beckons Regina and Karen over to join as well, making it a whole family affair.
“Oh, we have to pick their Hebrew name, and get everything ready- is it a boy or a girl?” her mother asks in a frenzy.
“We don’t know yet, I wanted to wait until they’re born,” Gretchen replies.
“Almeda, we’ve had names picked since Dylan was born,” her father calms. “And we have time.”
“She’s not due ‘til November,” Karen explains. “Plenty of time.”
“What Hebrew names did you pick?” Gretchen asks gently. “You’ve never told us.”
“Sosha Hanna, if it is a girl,” her father replies. “And Teva for a boy.”
“After Abuela and Papa?” Gretchen asks, eyes brimming with tears. Her grandparents had unfortunately passed away a few years prior. She’s glad to have this way to remember them.
“Yes. How have you been feeling, mija?” her father asks, ushering her to sit back down as if she’d keel over being on her feet for a second longer.
“I had some bad morning sickness the first few weeks. Gina was insisting it was food poisoning and trying to figure out where it was so she could sue them or something,” Gretchen chuckles lovingly. Regina leans over and steals a quick kiss on the cheek. “But I’m feeling much better lately. I haven’t felt them move yet, but I’m only going into the second trimester.”
“I have to buy Chanukah presents,” her mother realizes. “If you’re due in November.”
“Mama, it’s fine,” Gretchen calms with a laugh. “You can buy their presents when it gets closer. It’s only May.”
“Have you told anyone else?” Dylan asks. Gretchen shakes her head.
“We’re telling our families tomorrow, and our friends when we go back home,” Karen says. “We thought it was important that you guys know first, since Gretchen’s the one carrying it.”
“So don’t tell anyone yet, Mama,” Gretchen warns lovingly. Her mother nods and mimics zipping her lips.
“Oh, I can’t believe it, I’m so excited!”
“We’re excited too.”
————-
“Hey, K, welcome home,” Karen’s father greets when they arrive at Karen’s old house. Karen hugs her dad tightly and follows him inside. Once the door is closed, Regina and Gretchen get their own hugs and they’re all ushered in further. “Happy birthday, Gretchen. And you, Regina.”
“Thank you,” Gretchen and Regina grin. Karen’s father nods and heads to the kitchen.
“You want any beer or anything?”
“No, thanks, Dad,” Karen chuckles. He offers every time they come over, despite knowing the three of them all detest beer. It’s just his way of being hospitable. “We actually have something for you.”
“Oh, so you do,” her father hums when she holds out a small bag. “Thank you, ladies.”
The three of them watch anxiously as he opens the bag, pulling out a t-shirt and a matching tiny onesie. The shirt says, “World’s Greatest Grandpa”, and the onesie says, “Little Bud”.
“W-what?”
“We’re having a baby,” Karen explains quietly. Her dad looks at them with tears in his eyes. They’ve only seen him cry once before, at their wedding. He stares at the onesie for a long moment before he beckons all three of them over for a hug.
“How?” he chokes hoarsely, clearly trying to hide his emotions. Gretchen adjusts her shirt so her baby bump is visible, and Karen’s dad seems to give up on hiding. Regina and Gretchen watch with tears in their eyes as Karen is wrapped in the tightest hug and he shyly reaches a hand out to feel where his grandchild is growing. “Congratulations, K.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Karen sniffles, squeezing her father even tighter.
“So that’s why none of you wanted beer.”
“Sure, Dad.”
—————-
“There‘s my favorite fly bitches!” Regina’s mom greets when she sees them pull up, trying to make her way over in ridiculously high heels and carrying a small dog.
Regina begrudgingly leans into a hug with her mother, letting herself be squeezed and her cheeks be kissed before her mom moves on to her partners.
“Hi Belle,” Gretchen coos, gently extending a hand for the dog to sniff and scratching her head. The pup wiggles eagerly and happily kisses her hand.
Regina’s mom raises her eyebrows briefly before she leads them inside and yells for Regina’s sister. “Kylie! Your sister is here!”
“Coming!” Kylie yells back. Regina braces herself for yet another hug, this time with the potential to damage her already sensitive back, but she’s surprised to be wrapped in a remarkably gentle embrace. “Hi loser.”
“Hi, doofus,” Regina chuckles. “How’s your cat?”
“Pain in the ass.”
“Like always,” Regina hums. “Get off, you’re sweaty.”
“You’re so rude,” Kylie huffs. “Hi Gretch, hi Karen.”
“Hey, Ky,” Gretchen and Karen laugh at the same time. They each get their own hug before Kylie follows her mother down the hall.
“Damn, Mom,” Regina says when she sees the state of the kitchen. Every inch of counter space is covered with food; snacks and dessert and even a whole turkey. “It’s just the s-five of us.”
Her mom gets that look on her face again, but decides not to mention Regina’s little slip-up. Gretchen chuckles and kisses her on the cheek. “It looks really good, Ms. George, thank you.”
“I’ve told you to call me Sabrina, Gretchen, you’re my daughter-in-law,” Ms. George chides gently. “But thank you, doll. Dig in.”
“You go sit, love, what do you want?” Karen asks, taking Gretchen’s plate out of her hands and gently pushing her towards the table.
“Whatever you’re having,” Gretchen replies, kissing Karen’s jawline before going to sit down. “Thank you, Karebear.”
Karen blows her a kiss in reply and gathers all of their favorite foods onto their plates. Regina follows and stares at all the options. Karen notices, because of course she does.
“Do you want me to pick for you?”
Regina gives her a grateful smile. “You would?”
“Of course?” Karen says, confused. “Always. I know it’s tough for you sometimes. And today is a big day anyway, I know you don’t like making choices when you’re stressed.”
“You’re perfect,” Regina whispers. “And brilliant.”
“Thanks,” Karen squeaks. She hands Regina one of the full plates and takes the empty one with a kiss to Regina’s lips. “Take this to Gretch.”
“Can do. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
——-
After a delightful meal and light conversation, it’s time to drop the bomb.
Unfortunately, Regina’s mother drops it for them. “So how far along are you, Gretchen, dear?”
Regina chokes on her water. “Mom!”
“What?”
“How did you know?!”
“Because I’m a mother, honey,” her mother says. “And you haven’t exactly been subtle.”
Regina humphs into her glass as she takes another sip. Gretchen giggles at their antics. “I’m only going into the second trimester. Um, today, I think. I’m not sure exactly.”
“You never will be,” Regina’s mother chuckles. “Congratulations.”
“What happened?” Kylie asks, returning from the kitchen with a small plate of seconds.
“See, this is why it was important that we were the ones to tell you,” Regina says. “We’re having a baby, Ky.”
There’s a deafening crash, followed by a shriek, and then Sabrina muttering about using plastic plates in the future.
“You what?!” Kylie shrieks excitedly. “I’m gonna be an auntie?!”
“Not if you keep screaming like that,” Regina tuts under her breath. Gretchen gently kicks her shin under the table. “Ow!”
“Be nice,” Gretchen whispers. Regina pouts and turns away.
“I was.”
“Be nicer.”
“Hmph.”
Gretchen rolls her eyes lovingly and lets Kylie feel her tummy and ask a flurry of questions. Regina gets a fond smile watching her family members interact and ruffles Kylie’s hair as she goes to get some more food.
—————
A few days later, they’re back home. Regina has her head on Karen’s lap while her partner gets some work done on her phone. She’s violently removed from one of her favorite places when Gretchen suddenly shrieks, “Oh my god!” from the next room and they both scramble up to see what’s wrong.
“What happened?! What’s the matter?!” Regina asks frantically. Gretchen looks up at them with tears in her eyes, but after a second they notice that she’s laughing.
“Come here,” she sniffs, reaching out for the both of them. Confused, they both sit on either side of her on the bed. Gretchen takes their hands and kisses their fingertips before resting them side by side on her stomach.
“What happ- oh my god!” Karen squeals.
“Was-was that-“ Regina stutters.
“That’s the baby,” Gretchen laughs, wiping her eyes with another sniffle. “They’re kicking.”
“No way!” Karen responds eagerly, bringing her other hand over to feel too. “Hi baby!”
Regina doesn’t say anything for a long moment, just staring at her hand as it rests on her partner’s tummy. Something about it is just… different, this time. Different than all the times she’s felt Gretchen’s baby bump before. Something about their little one kicking for the first time has made it so much more real.
“Ginny,” Gretchen says knowingly. Regina snaps out of her mental fog and back to reality, meeting her eyes sheepishly. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” Regina says quietly, shifting her hand slightly and gently massaging the skin there with her thumb. “Just… there’s actually… there’s a person in here. A person that can move and do stuff. And they’re ours.”
“And how do you feel about that?” Karen asks gently. Regina rests her head on Gretchen’s shoulder and looks at her.
“So excited,” she whispers. Her partners both beam and kiss her forehead. “I wouldn’t have asked for this if I wasn’t.”
“Good,” Gretchen hums. “I can’t wait to see both of you with this little nugget.”
“I can’t wait to see them,” Karen responds. “But we have to wait so long.”
“It’ll go by fast,” Gretchen comforts. “And it’s probably for the best, we still have a lot to get done.”
She’s not wrong, they haven’t bought so much as a diaper for the baby yet. So they’ve been a little preoccupied.
“We have time,” Regina says. “And we’ll use it.”
Karen nods and rests against Gretchen with a yawn. Gretchen chuckles and kisses her forehead. “Go get ready for bed, Cupcake. We’re tired too.”
“Mmkay,” Karen hums, kissing Gretchen and her belly before regretfully pulling herself away. Regina pouts until she gets a kiss too, but smiles happily when she gets hers.
Gretchen stretches and gets cozy on their bed. Regina crawls after her and lies down next to her belly.
“What are you doing?” Gretchen giggles as Regina pops her head into her shirt. She can feel Regina’s lips pressed against her tummy, but she’s not kissing it.
“I am having a private conversation with my child,” Regina huffs as Gretchen pulls her shirt up to peek at what she’s up to. “And you are not invited.”
“Oh, my apologies,” Gretchen laughs. Regina nods haughtily and returns to her very important discussion with their unborn baby. Gretchen nestles further into her pillows and strokes through the ends of Regina’s hair as she stares at the ceiling.
Karen comes back after taking her makeup off and brushing her teeth and hair, cuddling in on Gretchen’s other side. “What is she doing?”
“Talking to the baby.”
“It’s a private discussion!” Regina calls from her shirt cave.
“Can the baby hear her yet?” Karen whispers.
“No,” Gretchen whispers back with a giggle. “But don’t tell her, she’s having fun.”
“Okay,” Karen chuckles. “Gina, tell the baby we said goodnight.”
“Okay!”
—————
They tell their friends about the baby the next week. The twins’ birthday is a week after Gretchen’s birthday. They feel a bit guilty about hijacking their birthday party, but it is a rather perfect time to let them know they’re getting a new cousin.
“Happy birthday, twinkies!” Gretchen greets happily as the twins come barreling down the hall to greet them, clad in matching birthday princess tiaras that they almost definitely received from Damian. “Four years old, oh my gosh!”
“Hi!” they both say, bouncing up and down in a pattern like whack-a-moles. Janis follows them down the hallway and hugs the Plastics in greeting.
“What do you say?” she prompts the twins quietly.
“Thank you for coming!” they both chirp at the same time. “And the present!”
“You’re so welcome,” Karen chuckles.
—-
“We actually have one more little present for you, girls,” Regina pipes up when the excitement over the gifts has died down a bit. They both perk up again and look around for it.
“Where?”
“It’s not here yet,” Gretchen chuckles. She hesitantly cups her baby bump that had been previously hidden by her dress. “But they will be in November!”
Cady screams happily and runs up to hug her. “No way! I mean, I totally knew it, but no way! Oh my god!”
Gretchen laughs at that and hugs her tightly. Janis follows and gives her a gentle but excited hug. “How did you know?”
“Former pregnant person intuition. You just know,” Cady shrugs. She squeals again and hugs her even tighter. “Congratulations! Can I feel your belly?”
“Of course,” Gretchen chuckles. Cady does a little happy dance and carefully rests a hand on top of the baby bump.
“What did I miss?” Damian asks as he comes back from the restroom and finds everyone crowding around the Plastics and a few people in tears.
“Gretchie’s pregnant,” Karen explains. Damian shrieks and runs in to join the hug.
“Oh my god, congratulations!” he squeals.
“Thank you,” Gretchen chuckles.
“Oh my god, yay! Girls, come here,” Cady calls to her daughters, who seem rather confused as to what’s going on. Cady crouches down to their height to explain. “You guys get a new cousin soon! Aunt GG is gonna have a baby!”
“A baby?” Leo asks in awe, looking up at her auntie. Layla looks curiously at her tummy.
“Yeah, I have a baby in my belly!” Gretchen laughs. “Do you want to feel? They might kick you.”
“Kick me?” Layla asks warily.
“Yeah, sometimes when they try to move around in there they kick or punch the inside of my tummy. But their feet are only about thiiiiis big, so it doesn’t hurt,” Gretchen explains, holding up her fingers to demonstrate her point. “It just feels kind of weird. And you don’t have to feel if you don’t want to, honey.”
Leo eagerly reaches out a small hand, so Gretchen takes it and rests it on the side of her tummy where she feels the most kicks. Sure enough, her little peanut wakes up at all the attention and starts kicking. Leo squeaks in surprise, but looks at her auntie with a giggle.
“That’s the baby?”
“That’s the baby! That’s your little cousin,” Gretchen confirms. “What do you think?”
“When they gonna come out?” Leo asks eagerly. “Can I hold them?”
“They’re not gonna come out for a few more months, they’ll be born around Thanksgiving,” Gretchen says. “But once they’re born you can totally hold them.”
Layla decides she also wants to feel her tummy. Gretchen gently takes her hand and rests it next to her sister’s. Layla looks at her in shock when the baby kicks her too. “What do you think?”
“Cool,” Layla murmurs. Even still, she pulls away after a few seconds. Everyone understands and lets her go back to her birthday presents. Leo, however, is completely taken with her new cousin.
“What kind of baby is it?”
“What do you mean?” Regina chuckles.
“Is it a boy baby or a girl baby or an in between baby or a nothing baby or a-“
“We don’t know yet,” Gretchen interrupts kindly. “We decided to wait until they’re born to find out if it has a boy body or a girl body. And when they grow up a little bit they can tell us who they want to be, so we’ll find out then too.”
“Oh.” Leo says. “When they gonna be born?”
“Sometime in November, we have to wait a while,” Regina explains. “About six months.”
Leo looks at her. “Aunt Weggie?”
“Yeah?”
“What’s a months?”
Cady laughs and picks her up. She carries her over to the kitchen to the calendar. “See all these boxes?” Leo nods. “That’s all the days in this month. Every page in our calendar is a new month. It’s May right now, we have to wait until November to meet the new baby.”
Leo flips all the pages until she gets to November, counting off how many there are. “That’s too much months!”
“I feel you, chica,” Gretchen chuckles. Leo runs back over to her. “It’ll go by fast, I promise.” Leo nods with a wide smile and gives her a gentle hug, along with a smooch to her belly.
“I love you baby cousin.”
—————
“What is the baby going to call us?” Karen yawns as they try to drift off to sleep that night. “We can’t all be the same thing. Cady and Janis did Mama and Mommy, but we have three to pick.”
“Dibs on Mommy,” Regina replies. Gretchen and Karen both laugh.
“Okay then. One of us can be Mama,” Gretchen says to Karen.
“What about the other one?” Regina asks.
“I was thinking about Mumma,” Gretchen says. “I think that would be cute.”
“Aww, yeah,” Karen agrees. “Can I be Mumma?”
“Of course,” Gretchen replies, bending over Regina to kiss her. “I’m Mama, then.”
“Yeah you are,” Regina purrs, resting a hand on her rounding tummy. “You’re so cute. Look at you. I love this belly.”
“Thanks,” Gretchen chuckles, kissing her too. “Glad someone is enjoying this pregnancy.”
“I’m sure they are too,” Karen says. “Must be cozy in there.”
Gretchen laughs outright at that. Regina nuzzles against her face and kisses her cheek. It’s quiet for a long moment before Gretchen pipes up again. “Do you think it’s a girl or a boy?”
“I don’t know,” Regina replies quietly. “Is it… is it bad that I hope it’s a boy?”
“Not necessarily,” Gretchen replies kindly, turning her head so they’re nose to nose. She can faintly see Karen’s silhouette turning to spoon Regina in the darkness. “Why?”
“I just… feel like a boy would be less likely to… turn out like me,” Regina mumbles.
“Beautiful and kind and loving?” Karen asks. “What’s the matter with that?”
“You know what I mean,” Regina huffs, turning around to glare at her partner. Karen grins impishly and leans in for a kiss.
“We do,” Gretchen agrees quietly. “But either way, this kid won’t do the things we did. We’re going to raise them right.”
“And what if it’s not a boy or a girl?” Karen asks. “They could grow up to be non-binary or something.”
“They could,” Regina agrees. “Still. I’ll be happy no matter what, I just… would be a little less scared if it’s a boy. Biologically.”
“That makes sense,” Gretchen says. “And no, I don’t think it’s bad now that I know your reasoning.”
Regina chuckles through a yawn. “Thanks. What-what about you, KK? What do you think?”
“I think it’s a boy,” Karen says.
“Really? I’m almost positive it’s a girl,” Gretchen replies curiously.
“Oh man,” Regina says. “This really is a toss up. Mother’s intuition or Karen’s sixth sense.”
“We’ll find out soon,” Karen says eagerly.
“November,” Gretchen replies. “Getting closer every day.”
“November,” Karen echoes.
“November.”
—————-
Regina takes on the task of decorating the nursery by herself. Gretchen helped pick out a few things, being a designer and all, but Regina wanted most of the room to be a surprise.
Gretchen tried to peek a couple times during the process, sneaking in under the excuse of bringing Regina lunch or wanting to help. Regina seems to have grown eyes in the back of her head and immediately shoos her away every time she has so much as a little toe over the threshold.
But after almost a week straight of work, the room is complete, and Gretchen and Karen are both allowed to see. Regina comes out to find them, clad in paint stained overalls and covered in sweat, but nearly glowing with pride and excitement.
“Are you finally done?” Gretchen teases. Regina nods and reaches for her partners, so they both stand and follow her down the hall to the new nursery.
“Close your eyes,” Regina instructs when they’re just outside the door. Karen and Gretchen both cover their eyes and carefully shuffle into the room as their partner opens the door. “Ready?” They both nod eagerly. “Okay, open them.”
Karen and Gretchen both take their hands away and look around at the room. Gretchen immediately starts crying, spinning around to look at everything. Karen gets a wide, delighted smile and does the same.
“Oh my god, Ginny,” Gretchen sobs. “This is perfect!”
“You like it?” Regina asks shyly.
“Yes!” Gretchen laughs through her tears, wrapping her partner in the tightest hug she can muster around her growing tummy.
The walls are a pale, soothing green color, and pasted with adorable dinosaur decals. There’s a matching stuffed one in the crib, and the sheets and curtains are a matching grey polka dot pattern. Gretchen is relieved to see that the shelves are now full of books, bins are full of toys and the dresser is full of clothes. The baby could come at any time now, and they’re finally ready.
“Did Janis do these?” Karen asks, pointing to a triceratops on the wall. Regina nods.
“Yep. Paid her full price, don’t worry.”
“Good,” Gretchen sniffles, wiping her eyes. Regina smiles and cups her face in her hands, brushing more tears away with her thumbs. “You did such a good job, baby.”
“Thanks,” Regina says, flushing in embarrassment. Gretchen kisses her quickly before moving to keep looking around.
“Our baby is gonna be in here,” she whispers, holding onto the crib railing. “Eventually.”
“Can’t wait,” Karen replies quietly, pressing against Gretchen’s back and kissing her cheek. “You’re gonna be the best mama.”
“You’ll be the best mumma,” Gretchen replies with a smile, leaning back against her. She reaches a hand for Regina to join their little cuddle party. “And you’re gonna be the best mommy.”
“I dunno about that,” Regina mumbles, hiding in Karen’s neck.
“We do,” Karen replies, tipping her head at a strange angle to kiss her forehead. “You’ll be a wonderful mommy.”
Regina reaches to rest a hand on Gretchen’s tummy. “If you say so.”
“We do,” her partners both reply at the same time.
“Alrighty then.”
————-
“Guys!”
“Shit, Cupcake,” Regina jumps as Karen comes quite literally crashing into the living room. Gretchen also almost jumps out of her skin and rests a protective hand on her bump. “Don’t do that.”
“Sorry,” Karen says sheepishly. “But I just had the best idea!”
“What is it, sweetie?” Gretchen chuckles once she recovers from the shock of her entrance.
“Halloween baby shower!” Karen says eagerly, actually bouncing up and down a couple times. “Everyone can come in costumes and we can play Halloween games and baby games!”
Gretchen and Regina look at each other before looking back to Karen with a nod. “Okay, honey, that sounds amazing.”
“Yes!” Karen squeals, running back to the study to start planning. They can hear her pause for a second before she comes running back. “We need costumes.”
“I found these a while ago,” Regina offers sheepishly, switching tabs on her browser to one she’d bookmarked. Gretchen and Karen lean in to see a skeleton costume, with a little baby skeleton in roughly the correct place on the belly. “Gretch could wear this one and then KK and I could just be skeletons.”
“Awwww,” Gretchen coos. “That’s perfect!”
“So cute!” Karen squeals again. “Okay, planning!”
“Have fun, darling,” Regina chuckles as Karen dashes away again to do her favorite thing.
————-
Karen manages to put together the perfect Halloween party/baby shower in less than a month. Their families all make the trip from Illinois, and their friends all scramble to put their costumes together in time.
Gretchen does beautiful Dia De Los Muertos skull makeup on her partners and adds some fake flowers to their costumes, including the baby skeleton on the belly of her own costume.
“I’ve never looked better,” Karen jokes as they all stand side by side to check themselves out in the mirror.
“Me either,” Gretchen giggles, striking a pose and resting a hand on her belly.
“Well, it’s true for you,” Karen replies, gently kissing Gretchen on the cheek and trying desperately to not smudge the makeup.
“Janis sent me something,” Regina says, swiping into her phone and bringing up the video Janis texted her. Gretchen and Karen crowd around her to see.
It’s a sweet clip of the twins barreling around a store, trying to pick a perfect present for their new baby cousin. They both disappear, and then Layla suddenly comes back with some carrots.
“I found somefing!”
“Ladybug, those are carrots,” Janis laughs from behind her phone.
“They’re orange!” Leo calls happily, coming up behind her sister.
“You’re right,” Cady laughs. “But they’re not great for the baby. They wont be able to eat them before they get yucky. Where did you even find those, how far did you go?”
“I dunno,” Layla shrugs. Cady laughs some more and gently kisses her daughters’ heads as she takes the carrots away.
“Let’s pick something else, come on.”
“Aww,” Gretchen coos as the video ends. “I hope our little one is as sweet as those two.”
“They’ll be sweeter,” Regina insists, ever the competitor.
The doorbell rings then, so Regina kisses both of her partners’ foreheads and heads to answer it. “Oh my god!”
Damian and Aaron stand on the other side, clad in rather extravagant dresses. Aaron is also green.
Damian shuffles in pushing his hoop skirt through the door and protectively holding his crown. Aaron follows sheepishly, and Regina can tell he’s blushing under all his makeup.
“Well, hello, Elphaba and Glinda,” Regina says through her laughter, practically bent double because of the force of it.
Gretchen and Karen come out of the bathroom to greet their guests, and both also just about collapse on the ground. “Oh my god, you guys look incredible!”
“I know right?” Damian hums, striking a pose and fluffing out his skirts. Aaron stands aimlessly in his black dress and holding a very nicely wrapped baby present. Karen gently takes it and sends him into the kitchen to adjust a bit more.
In the meantime, their families all arrive. Gretchen’s parents are dressed as ketchup and mustard, featuring Dylan as relish. Regina’s mom and Kylie are dressed as ‘The Spice Girls’, in fancy wigs and makeup but clothed to look like bottles of thyme and oregano respectively. Karen’s dad is a ‘Ceiling Fan’, effectively dressed as a male cheerleader and holding a sign that says ‘Go Ceiling!’
“Hi, come in!” Karen laughs. “You all look great!”
They give hugs and greet everyone until the doorbell rings again.
“Oh my gosh, look at you guys!” Gretchen laughs as she opens the door to find Cady, Janis and the twins on the other side. The twins are dressed as little lions in clearly handmade costumes, red and orange yarn sewn onto yellow sweatsuits and little whiskers drawn on with Janis’ famous eyeliner. Cady and Janis themselves are dressed in Cady’s old clothes as safari explorers. “You look awesome!”
“I am a lion!” Layla announces happily, hugging her aunties and uncles in greeting.
“I see! You’re the coolest lions ever!” Gretchen laughs. Leo shyly walks up and carefully tugs on her auntie’s costume to get her attention. “Hi, sweetheart.” Leo looks at her suspiciously. “Oh, the makeup, I forgot! I’m still GG, honey, it’s okay. I just have on a lot of makeup.”
“Oh,” Leo says. “Aunt GG?”
“Mmhmm! Just me,” Gretchen chuckles.
“This for you,” Leo says, handing over a gift bag. “For the baby.”
“Oh my gosh, thank you! This is so nice, I can’t wait to see what you got them!”
“You welcome,” Leo says, hugging her quickly before she goes running off to find her sister.
“She wanted to give it to you herself,” Cady chuckles as she hugs her friend in greeting. “How are you feeling?”
“Eh, you probably know,” Gretchen chuckles. “Big.”
“You look great,” Cady replies. “Take pictures now, though. Trust me.”
“I will,” Gretchen says.
“I should probably go make sure the girls don’t destroy everything,” Cady hums.
“On it,” Janis chuckles. “Hey, Gretch.”
“Hi, Jan,” Gretchen laughs. “Enjoy yourselves, the girls are fine.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Cady sighs. Gretchen leads her in to the party as a whole. Leo comes running over again to greet her mama and auntie.
She winds up following Gretchen around for most of the evening like a little duckling, seeming perfectly content to just sit with her on the couch and chat about life.
“When you gonna open presents?” Leo asks after a while, resting her head on Gretchen’s arm and looking up at her.
“Should we do them now?” Gretchen asks. Leo nods eagerly and runs off to bring them to her. Layla comes running over to help her sister, and helpfully makes an announcement.
“Time for presents!”
Regina and Karen sit down on either side of Gretchen and each hold a twin on their lap. Gretchen waits for their other friends to sit down around them to watch before she carefully opens the first present she’s been brought.
“Dis from us,” Leo explains helpfully. “Me an’ Lala.”
“Thank you, chickies,” Gretchen says, gently removing the tissue paper to see what’s inside. “Aww!”
The first thing she pulls out is a white onesie that says ‘Coolest Cousins’ in black letters. Layla taps her tummy and explains, “We have… um… we got shirts to mash.”
“That’s so sweet,” Karen says. “We’ll take some cool matching pictures when the baby comes.”
“Dere’s more,” Leo says, helpfully guiding their attention back to the bag. Gretchen laughs and reaches in for the next thing. It turns out to be two things. A teething toy shaped like a giraffe, from Leo, and an elephant shaped rattle from Layla.
“Aww, these are so nice! They’re gonna love to play with these when they’re big enough, thank you so much, girls!”
“You welcome!” the twins chirp at the same time. Layla helpfully pushes over the next present for her to open.
Gretchen makes remarkable progress through the gifts with the help of two little lions, and then it’s back to activities and food and family.
It’s a wonderful day.
—————
“This baby is taking too long!” Gretchen huffs three weeks later, looking at herself in the mirror. “I’m already a week overdue.”
“Someone’s grumpy,” Regina teases gently. “They’ll come when they’re ready to. It’s still November, they’re still in the right month. It’ll be fine.”
“If I’m still pregnant in December, I’m gonna kill someone,” Gretchen grumbles. Regina chuckles and kisses her cheek.
“But you’re so beautiful,” she murmurs in her ear. “I’m jealous of how nice your skin looks now.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” Regina laughs. “You really are glowing, Muffin.”
Gretchen gives a content little hum and finally smiles at herself in the mirror. Regina laughs and kisses her cheek again, but Gretchen stops her for a real one before she can pull away.
Karen comes in then, dropping her work bag on the ground and immediately flipping face first onto their bed with a groan. Regina and Gretchen both turn to see her.
“Babe, what happened?” Regina asks in concern. Karen grumbles an answer into the pillow. “What?”
Karen rolls over to stare at the ceiling. “There’s… there’s a conference starting tomorrow, for people in PR and stuff. It’s, like, a really good opportunity.”
“So what’s the problem?” Gretchen asks, going to sit next to her on the bed and pulling her into a hug.
“It’s an hour and a half away and a week long. I can’t go.”
“Oh,” Regina whispers.
“We could figure something out,” Gretchen offers. “An hour and a half isn’t bad, you’d still be close enough to get here in time if I go into labor. First babies always take a long time.”
“We can’t know that for sure,” Karen sighs, resting her head on her shoulder. Regina sits on her other side and gently squeezes Karen’s hand. “They could come any day.”
“They could,” Regina agrees. “But we don’t know when. It could be another week or two before anything even starts happening.”
“Yeah, love, I’m not even having braxton-hicks contractions yet, we have plenty of time before they get here,” Gretchen says. “If you just… kept your phone turned on so we could reach you if something does happen, it would be fine. This is a great opportunity for you. If you want to go we’ll make it work.”
“Really?” Karen asks.
“We always do,” Regina concludes. “We’ll figure it out.”
“Thanks, loves,” Karen smiles. Gretchen leans in to kiss her cheek, and the baby kicks as well.
“They say you’re welcome,” Gretchen chuckles. “Let’s get you packed.”
—————
Karen leaves the next morning with the promise to keep her phone on and on her at all times, and after making sure Regina knows what to do in case something happens.
It all goes smoothly until Wednesday, the final day of Karen’s conference.
“Regina!”
“What?! What happened?!” Regina asks as she goes barreling in to check on her partner.
“My water just broke,” Gretchen says with a sob.
“Hey,” Regina says gently, as if Gretchen is a skittish little animal. “Why are you crying?”
“Be-because it hurts, a lot, and I feel gross,” Gretchen wails. “And the baby’s coming and-and KK isn’t here! She’s-she’s gonna miss it!”
“Oh, fuck, the baby’s coming! I forgot that part!” Regina yelps. “Uh… um…”
“Stop panicking, that’s my job!” Gretchen sobs. She’s getting progressively more worked up. Regina looks at her and feels the wave of protective partner and motherly instincts wash over her. She takes a deep breath.
“Come here,” Regina coaxes. Gretchen winces as she shuffles over for a cuddle. “I’m gonna help you get changed real quick and call Karen, and then we’ll go to the hospital and have our baby. KK’s gonna make it. She’d never miss this, you know that.”
“But she’s so far away!”
“If we get a hold of her now she’ll still make it in time,” Regina hushes. “Breathe, Muffin, shh.”
“Don’t shush me! I am in labor with your baby!” Gretchen scoffs.
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Regina apologizes frantically as she grabs a flowy and soft dress from the closet for Gretchen to change into.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell,” Gretchen whimpers. “I’m-I’m just so scared!”
“I know,” Regina says. “I’m scared too. But I know you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, and you’re gonna get our little one here and you’re both gonna be just fine. And Karen will make it or so help me god.”
Gretchen finally gives a weak chuckle at that, but it doesn’t last, as she has a sudden and rather violent contraction that leaves her gripping Regina’s arm for dear life. Regina winces as her love’s fingers grasp her so hard they’ll leave bruises, but it’s worth it.
“Okay, come on,” she says. “Easy.”
—-
Gretchen is still sobbing near hysterically by the time they get settled in the car, and somehow cries harder with every contraction that hits her. Regina frantically brings up Karen’s number and puts the car in gear at the same time.
The first time goes to voicemail. “KK, pick up! The baby’s coming, you have to come back! Call me when you get this!”
“Try again,” Gretchen begs when she ends the message. Regina hits redial. Voicemail, again. Gretchen snatches the phone and dials again. And again, and again, and again, and again. “No!”
“She’s okay, honey,” Regina soothes, offering Gretchen her hand. “She’ll look at her phone soon, she probably just had something quick to do.”
“She’s gonna miss it!” Gretchen wails as they pull into the hospital parking lot.
“No, she won’t,” Regina says, trying to keep her own anxieties and frustrations down. Gretchen is more important right now. “I’ll
keep trying to get a hold of her once we get you settled in.”
Gretchen nods shakily and slowly follows her over to the check in counter. The receptionist seems to notice that some major things are happening and fetches a wheelchair for Gretchen to be taken to her room. The room.
She’s quickly dressed in a hospital gown and hooked up to all sorts of monitors. Regina frantically switches between calling Karen and comforting Gretchen.
“How long has she been having contractions?” The labor nurse asks. Regina checks the time.
“Her water broke, like, half an hour ago,” she offers. “Were you having contractions before that, Button?”
“Yeah,” Gretchen whimpers. “Aaaaaah-bout an hour.”
“Can she please have an epidural or something?” Regina begs, in agony herself as she watches her dear one in so much pain.
“Oh, honey, you’re way too late for that,” the nurse chuckles. “You’re already in active labor, you have… maybe ten minutes before it’s time to start working this baby out.”
“What?!” Gretchen shrieks. Regina watches in concern as she suddenly starts hyperventilating.
“Baby, it’s okay,” she says in a low voice. “Hey. Look at me.” Gretchen does, barely seeming to register she’s there through the fog of pain and anxiety. “You’re gonna be okay. This is gonna hurt, but you’re strong, and you can do it. I’m right here. Deep breaths.”
“But-but Karen,” Gretchen sobs. “I-I can’t… I can’t do this without her!”
“You can,” Regina says. “I’m here. I know it hurts that she’s not, but there’s still time. Maybe she’ll make it. But you can absolutely do this. She’ll still get to meet and love on the baby and you just as much after.”
“It hurts,” Gretchen whispers. Regina bends to kiss her forehead and squeezes her hand.
“I know,” she murmurs against sweaty skin. “But we’re gonna have our little human at the end of it. So soon.”
The doctor motions for Regina to keep doing what she’s doing. Gretchen’s contractions are slowing down ever so slightly, along with her heart rate and the baby’s. Apparently panicking is a decent method of speeding along labor. More than they want to.
“You ready?” Regina asks gently. Gretchen shakes her head, but braces anyway.
Karen suddenly slams the door open and rips off all her things, running full speed over to Gretchen’s other bedside. “I’m here! I’m here, we can have the baby now.”
“Where the hell have you been?!” Regina demands. “Do you have any idea how many times we’ve tried to reach you?!”
“Yeah, I was-“
“Both of you shut up!” Gretchen demands. “Fight later, I need both of you right now.”
-
It all happens in a whirlwind of pain and noise and tears of both agony and joy. Regina and Karen blink, and suddenly, it’s all over. The tears start anew as their baby is rested on Gretchen’s tummy and starts to cry.
“You did it, Princess,” Regina sobs happily, bending to kiss Gretchen’s sweaty forehead. Karen kisses her cheek and tenderly brushes a hand through her messy hair. “You just had a baby. Look how perfect.”
“It’s a boy, congratulations mamas,” the nurse grins at them as she cleans off their newborn son. Regina lets out another happy sob.
“A boy?”
“Sure looks that way,” the nurse chuckles. Gretchen carefully grabs him and pulls him up higher on her chest.
“Happy birthday, mijo,” she murmurs tearfully. The baby quiets when he feels her touch and hears her voice. “You’re the most amazing thing.”
“He’s so tiny,” Karen says in wonder. She smiles as the baby opens his eyes and blinks heavily at her. “Hi, baby emoji. I’m your mumma.”
Regina laughs at Karen’s greeting and kisses Gretchen again. “I’m so proud of you. You’re so strong, my love. Look how perfect he is.”
“He still needs a name,” Karen realizes. Gretchen carefully looks down at the small human resting on her.
“Milo,” she says. “Milo George Smith.”
“George?”
“I know you don’t want him to have your old last name. But I want him to have a piece of you,” Gretchen says.
“What about Wieners?”
“There is no way that name is touching this baby,” Gretchen insists vehemently. She had been rather quick to change her name after the wedding, even though she hadn’t been one of the ones to be legally married. “Do you have any idea how much teasing I got for that when I was little? Not happening for this kid. He grew in me, he has a big enough part of me.”
Regina and Karen both chuckle at that. “Well then, welcome to the world, Milo.”
Gretchen carefully adjusts him so he’s looking the other way. Regina stares at the small face, now back to sleep as he’s squished against his mama.
“He looks just like you, G,” she murmurs. “Your little button nose, and your skin tone, and your lips.”
“I dunno where this blond hair came from,” Gretchen chuckles, giving it a gentle kiss. “Our little guy. We’re moms.”
“We’re moms,” Regina repeats, almost in awe.
—-
Karen and Regina get to hold him for the first time after he spends a full hour cuddling Gretchen and has his first meal. Karen volunteers to go first, since Regina is still slightly apprehensive.
Karen smiles wider than her partners have ever seen as their son is finally rested in her arms. “It’s you!” she says happily. “You’re the little guy who was hanging out in there! And here you are!”
Milo blinks at her a few times, seeming to recognize her voice. Karen giggles when he suddenly hiccups and his eyebrows fly up his forehead in surprise.
“Excuse you,” she says quietly. She’s silent for a long moment before she releases a sound that sounds like a laugh and a sob at the same time, and shakily whispers, “I have a son.”
Regina comes up behind her and rests her head on her wife’s shoulder. “You’re both perfect. You’re all perfect.”
Karen turns her head just enough to kiss the side of Regina’s nose. She kisses the baby’s forehead before she turns around. “It’s your turn.”
“But-but you haven’t been holding him for that long, it’s okay, I can wait-“
“Ginny,” Gretchen demands. “Hold the damn baby.”
Regina pouts as she’s scolded and watches how Karen’s arms are folded. She does her best to copy them and tenses as Karen ever so gently passes her their baby.
“Hi,” Regina breathes as she holds her son for the first time. Milo makes a quiet, content sound and stares up at her with deep brown eyes that are a perfect reflection of Gretchen’s. “Hi, sweet boy. I’m your mommy. I love you so much.”
It hits her then, what Janis told her about all those months ago. Milo looks at Regina. Regina looks back. They don’t speak the same language yet, but all the love they could ever need to convey is shared in a single gaze. The level of trust in the slightly unfocused brown eyes sends a shock through Regina’s core. This is her baby, her son. Her child. Her new little one to love and take care of, and raise into a good person with her partners. Her responsibility, her duty, but her new little love.
She ever so carefully brings him up closer and peppers kisses to Milo’s wispy blond hair. Milo coos quietly in response. Regina takes that to mean he loves her too.
“Should we keep him?” Gretchen asks jokingly from her place in bed as she’s finally allowed to eat something. It’s just a popsicle, but it’s better than nothing. “You two are so sweet.”
Regina looks between her and the little bundle in her arms a few times. Her eyes suddenly well with tears. Gretchen pouts and reaches her free arm towards her.
“What happened?”
“I love him so much. He-he’s the most precious thing I’ve ever had,” Regina chokes, trying not to start sobbing and risk upsetting the baby. “I don’t want to let him go.”
“You don’t have to,” Karen says, kissing Regina’s cheek and rubbing her back as they both look down at their son. “He’s ours.”
“Just maybe set him down for a little while,” Gretchen yawns. “We need to sleep.”
Regina sniffles again and carefully rocks Milo back and forth until his baby brown eyes flutter shut, before ever so carefully resting him down in his little cot. “Can we tell people, yet?”
“Oh yeah,” Karen says. “Here.”
Regina takes her phone as Karen holds it out and flips to the camera. She holds it firmly in her hands so she doesn’t accidentally drop it on her son as she takes his first ever pictures.
She sends messages to all their parents and siblings to let them know the good news and that Milo and Gretchen are both okay, and then comes the daunting task of letting their friend group know.
reginald: Sent a photo: You all have a new nephew. This is Milo George Smith. He and Gretch are both healthy and doing well :)
sexymouse: 👶👶👶👶👶👶👶 !!!!!!!!!!!
africabytoto: Oh my goodness what a little nugget!!! Congratulations!! The girls are gonna be so excited!
a-aron: HELL YEAH ANOTHER NEPHEW
a-aron: oh and congrats guys :))
snarkisian: you guys had a boy ?
reginald: Yeah?
snarkisian: damn. i thought for sure it would be a girl
snarkisian: congratulations guys
damecupboard: What’s popping gang
snarkisian: first of all we’re not sixteen anymore never talk like that again pls
snarkisian: second of all scroll up doofus
damecupboard: HOLY SHIT
damecupboard: Oh my god how adorable!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!!
reginald: Thanks, guys. See you soon.
Regina puts her phone down and kisses Gretchen on the forehead as she finally drifts off for some much deserved rest. Karen tucks her in a bit and gives her a sweet kiss on the cheek as Regina grabs the baby again.
“Hi, baby boy,” Regina coos. “Let’s take a nap with Mumma, hm?”
Karen smiles as Regina settles on the uncomfortable cot in the corner and rests the baby on her chest. Regina looks up when she feels her gaze and smiles back, reaching her free arm out for her.
“Isn’t be perfect?” Karen whispers as she settles in next to them, peppering kisses to Milo’s head and resting her head on Regina’s shoulder.
“More than I ever thought he could be,” Regina agrees, gently stroking her fingers up and down the baby’s back. “I’m glad you made it in time.”
“Me too,” Karen murmurs softly. “You have no idea.”
“I love you,” Regina whispers, resting her head on Karen’s and shutting her eyes to rest.
“I love you too,” Karen replies. “And you, little boy.”
Milo sneezes as an answer.
“Bless you!”
—————
About an hour after everyone wakes up, they’re cuddling their new baby for the first time as a family.
“We got another video,” Regina says, pulling out her phone to show her partners.
The video is of the twins as they come running out of the doors of their preschool to their mothers. They can hear Cady off camera as she asks them about their day and gives them hugs.
“We have a surprise for you,” she says once the twins finish talking about the events of their day.
“What?” they ask eagerly.
“Aunt GG had her baby today,” Cady says, barely finishing her sentence before getting cut off by a loud, high pitched squeal from her daughters. Cady shows them the picture on her phone. “Isn’t he cute? His name is Milo.”
“Milo,” Layla echoes. “Baby!”
“It’s the baby!” Cady agrees in the same tone. “Should we go meet him?”
“Yeah, yeah!” the twins say eagerly, politely looking both ways before they go tearing off into the parking lot and the video ends.
Just then, the door to their hospital room opens.
“Aunt GG! The baby came!” Leo says happily as she comes barreling in. Cady follows quickly, gently hushing her daughter. Janis follows with Layla, who jumps up and down eagerly once she’s set on the ground again.
“Remember, quiet voices and gentle touches, okay?” Cady reminds. They both nod seriously and head over to see Gretchen.
“Hi, guys,” Gretchen chuckles. “Come see your new cousin.”
Karen and Regina gently help the twins up next to their partner. Leo ever so carefully inches closer and rests her head on Gretchen’s shoulder to see the baby. Layla follows a bit more apprehensively.
“Baby!” Leo cheers quietly. “He’s tiny.”
“He is tiny,” Gretchen agrees with a chuckle. “What do you think?”
“Cute!” Leo nods.
Layla comes closer for a better look. “He’s sleeping.”
“Babies do that,” Gretchen says. “They sleep a lot when they’re this little. But he’s gonna grow a whole lot soon, and he’ll be awake more often, then.”
Cady and Janis head to the opposite side of the bed to see their nephew. Cady coos over the little one as she hugs Gretchen carefully. “I brought you food.”
“You’re an angel,” Gretchen sighs, passing the baby off to anyone nearby and tearing into the bag. Cady laughs.
“The only thing I wanted to do after I had them was eat,” she says. Janis takes her turn to hug Gretchen as her wife pulls away.
“He’s precious, congratulations,” she murmurs. Gretchen smiles at the lot of them.
“Thank you. This is so good, the food here is awful,” Gretchen says happily, digging into the meal.
“Oh, and the girls said we absolutely had to bring Milo a birthday cake,” Janis chuckles, pulling a cupcake out of another bag.
“Aww, thank you girls,” Gretchen coos. “His first ever birthday cake.”
“Can I hold the little one?” Cady asks, already washing her hands in case they say yes.
“Of course,” Karen says. Cady reaches out and takes the little bundle of blankets from her.
“Oh my goodness, hello,” Cady coos quietly. “Aren’t you the sweetest little guy? You look so much like Gretchen.”
“Can I see?” Leo asks. Cady nods and goes to sit in a chair nearby. Leo crawls in next to her to peek at the baby’s face. Milo opens his eyes and blinks at them, curious at all the new voices he can hear. “He’s awake!”
“He’s checking out who you are,” Gretchen says. “He probably remembers hearing your voice when he was inside my belly, he wants to say hi.”
“Hi Milo,” Leo greets. “You a very good baby.”
Layla comes over and stands on her tippy toes on the other side of the chair. “He’s making sounds.”
“Babies do that too,” Cady chuckles. “What do you think, Lala?”
“Can I hold him?”
“Ask your aunties, that’s their choice,” Cady says. Layla heads over to her aunties as they dote on Gretchen for a while. Regina looks down when she carefully tugs on her pocket.
“Hi Layla, what’s up?” she greets, crouching down to her height.
“Can I please hold Milo?” Layla asks kindly.
“Me too, me too!” Leo cheers. She remembers she’s supposed to be quiet, then. “Oopsies. Sorry Milo.”
“Yeah, you guys can hold him,” Regina chuckles. “Come wash your hands.”
“So he doesn’t gets germs?” Leo asks.
“Yep! You’re so smart,” Karen says as she holds them up to the sink. Each twin carefully scrubs their hands clean before they head back to their mama. Regina heads over with them and carefully takes her son back from Cady.
“Okay, sit down,” she says to the twins. They both eagerly wriggle into the chair and hold their arms out. “Who first?”
“Me!” Leo says quietly but energetically. Regina chuckles and adjusts her arms before gently resting Milo in her hold. A few more adjustments and his neck is properly supported, and she’s positive he won’t be dropped. Leo squeals quietly as she holds her cousin for the first time.
Regina stays close by to help support her child and smiles at seeing the three cousins interact. Leo looks down at him happily and ever so gently drums her little hands against his swaddle.
“He’s so cute,” she coos. It’s strange hearing a practical baby herself doing a baby voice, but it’s sweet. “I love him.”
“He loves you too,” Regina says quietly. “You’re his cool big cousins, he’s gonna love you so much. You get to teach him how to do all the cool big kid things, and play with him. I bet he’s so excited to grow enough to play with you.”
The twins both beam at her. “Layla, do you want to hold him now?”
Layla nods nervously. Regina helpfully transfers Milo between the twins and adjusts her arms so her baby is secure again. Layla looks down at her cousin for a long moment, just quietly assessing his little face. When she looks back up, her eyes are full of tears.
“What’s the matter?” Gretchen asks sadly.
“I love him,” Layla whimpers, protectively holding her cousin closer.
“Oh, honey,” Regina coos. “He’s looking at you,
look.”
Layla sniffles and looks down at the baby again, finding him looking back at her with his wide brown eyes. “Hi, Milo.”
Milo sticks his tongue out in response, making both twins giggle.
“You can kiss his forehead,” Regina says quietly. “If you want to.”
Layla carefully bends down and smooches his small head, followed by Leo. Regina takes her baby back to Gretchen while Janis picks up Layla to comfort her.
“Auntie Karen?” Leo pipes up.
“Yeah, Leo?” Karen replies.
“Where the other one?”
“Other what?”
“Other Milo,” Leo explains. “Where Milo’s Layla?”
“Oh,” Karen laughs. “There isn’t another Milo, he doesn’t have a twin like you do. He’s the only one.”
“Oh.” Leo says. Her brow furrows in thought briefly.
“We can talk about that later, if you want,” Cady explains to her daughter. Leo nods and heads back to Gretchen.
“How long you gotta live in the hopsital?” she asks as she cuddles up with her auntie. Gretchen laughs and takes the baby from Regina.
“I think we only have to live here until tomorrow,” she explains. “The doctors are gonna make sure it’s safe for us to go home, and then we get to leave.”
“He’s cute,” Leo says, peeking at his face again. “Good job, Aunt GG.”
“Thanks, Lolo,” Gretchen laughs.
“Uncle D!” Layla calls when she sees him come in the room, remembering to keep her excitement quiet for the sake of the new baby. Leo gently wiggles off the bed to go greet him and Aaron as well.
“Hi!” Damian says, scooping both twins off the ground. “What do we think of the new baby? Is he cute enough to keep?”
“Yeah,” the twins nod at the same time. “Come see, come see!”
“Okay, okay,” Damian and Aaron laugh as each twin takes one of their hands and tugs them in Gretchen’s direction.
“How are you doing?” Aaron asks as he bends to give Gretchen a hug.
“You really wanna know?”
“No thank you,” Aaron laughs. He tips his head to see the baby and coos at his little face. “Aww, he’s such a little dude!”
“He’s adorable, congratulations,” Damian says as he takes his turn to hug Gretchen.
“Thank you,” Gretchen hums, adjusting the baby’s blanket so they can see more of his face. The baby wakes up at all the new noises he can hear and looks around. “Oh, hi, baby! Come say hi to your uncles, they wanna meet you.”
“Can I hold him?” Damian asks.
“Of course!” Gretchen says. Damian squeals and makes a beeline for the sink to wash his hands. Karen comes over to Gretchen to take the baby so their other friends can meet him.
Damian sits on one of the chairs and eagerly reaches out his arms. Karen gently rocks the baby before setting him in his embrace.
“Oh my gosh,” Damian coos. “Aaron, we need a baby.”
“No!” Aaron says immediately. “Babe, you set a cookie on fire yesterday, we’re good for a while.”
Damian pouts. “But look how cute Milo is.”
“And me!” Layla says, peeking over his shoulder at the baby.
“Exactly!”
“Cookie. Fire. No.” Aaron says.
“Hmph,” Damian sighs. “I’ll just keep these, then.”
“That I can live with,” Aaron chuckles, standing next to his husband and looking down at the baby. “He is really cute.”
“Thanks,” Regina chuckles, cuddled up with Gretchen in the hospital bed. “He has some good genes.”
Karen manages to squeeze in with her partners for a cuddle while the baby is safe being cooed over by their friends.
“We’re so proud of you,” Regina whispers against Gretchen’s temple.
“I couldn’t have done it without both of you,” Gretchen whispers back. “We have another little family member.”
“The perfect little family member,” Karen agrees.
“One more person to love,” Regina murmurs.
The most perfect little person.
—————
tada!! hope you enjoyed!!
i just realized i think there’s a line in this i should probably explain. in the us, marriages between more than two people aren’t recognized by law, but the plastics still wanted to get married. karen and regina are the ones who got ‘legally’ married (for tax benefits, because gretchen has the richest family) but they had a ceremony for all three of them to be married and they all call each other their wives :)
anyway!! thanks so much for reading and i hope you enjoyed :)
lots of love,
ezzy
