Benjamin Poindexter, Matthew Murdock, Buck Cashman
❦ Benjamin Poindexter
Tight. His hold on you, though suffocating at times but never lacking, is an expression of all the words he can never speak. Making you feel every ounce of just how much he wants you, needs you. His body refuses to retreat to slumber until he knows you have fallen asleep first, either because it is his instinct to make certain of your security or that you won’t leave when his eyes are closed. You can never leave with his possessive hold on you, he makes sure of that. Even as you twist and turn in your sleep, his arms a constant cage, a tight grip so protective and warm that you’re tempted to never escape. . .
Dex is only able to fall into deep sleep when he is assured that you are in his orbit, heavy arms locked over your waist or your chest, with a pull that’s stronger than an ocean’s current. Holds you like an anchor, a crushing heaviness that refuses to let go the moment you fall asleep in his embrace. Don’t be surprised, he is a man who has been deprived and hungers for physical contact, immediately latching onto you the moment you are within his range. The feeling of your back against his bare chest makes him euphoric and trust that he will keep squeezing you close to him until he feels there is no longer any space between the two of you, until your body familiarizes with the shape of his embrace.
Even as you drift off peacefully to your dreams (which he hopes are about him), he showers you with his never-ending affection by pressing kisses to any skin he could reach, your neck, your shoulders, your jaw. His thumb pressing patterns on your wrist and your cheek as he inhales the scent of your signature shampoo. His mind constantly circles on you, his light, the most important person in his gloomy life, he would do anything and kill anyone for you. Those restless thoughts only go quiet from the physical proof that you’re here, in his bed, in his space, that you continue to choose to be here despite the fragile mess that he is behind his controlled exterior.
❦ Matthew Murdock
Reverent. Matt clutches you to his chest like a devotee holding rosary. Despite your initial protests, he will pull you to rest on top of him, nevermind the lingering bruises on his chest or the small cuts on his abdomen, he’ll insist that those will heal anyways. He’s well aware that he’s injured, so what? What he needs is you, your presence and the peace that you bring him in these mere hours he is blessed with before he gives himself to the city again.
He ends your sentences before you complain because the weight of you on top of him brings him immense comfort, the rarest kind, a solace he’s been seeking since the day he met you. The city is too loud, overwhelming if he doesn’t tune out his senses. But with you resting your head on his hard chest, his defined arms over your back, he feels like he found heaven on earth. . . We know this man uses his heightened senses, not just to listen past the walls of your bedroom for any looming danger in the darkness that threatens your safety but also to ground him. He goes quiet, only to direct his entire senses on your warmth, your heavenly scent and the slight inhales and exhales as you sleep. You don’t hear how many times he whispers “I love you” like a prayer while you continue to slumber.
Can only fall asleep from the calm pattern of your heart. To him, your pulse is a rhythm that sounds like serenity. It’s a pattern he’s most familiar with, the same way he learned the prayers. He unashamedly listens to your heartbeat every night he is granted to spend with you. His large hand cradling the back of your head, stroking your hair until he falls asleep with the most content smile in his face, knowing that your heart beats only for him.
❦ Buck Cashman
Starved. Buck presents himself to be someone so collected and calm, but deep down he has been yearning to have someone to call home. He carries a quiet arrogance knowing he’s the best in his job and he’s not oblivious to the fact he carries a charm which he doesn’t bother to take advantage of when it comes to others who aren’t you. As awful as the truth may be, he is a lonely man because of his work. Because of that, he comes home to you, hungry, craving for something only you can fill. He isn’t new to physical affairs, yet Buck holds you like a man who’s been starved of an embrace for decades.
He wasn’t like others who enjoy sleeping, he only does it because it is the body’s natural requirement for him in order to perform his best. Until you arrived and disrupted that concept, now he looks forward to every night (even the early mornings) whenever he gets to have you in his side. Indulging in sleep like a greedy man only because he gets to have you with him. It never fails to surprise him whenever you fall asleep in his embrace, how someone as dangerous as him makes you feel so safe. He feels a certain triumph, nearing on possessiveness, in being the only one who gets to see you in this state.
He could never grow bored of you. In fact, watching you fall asleep is his favorite activity, a few minutes he enjoys for himself before he closes his eyes. Hiding your face to his chest while he continues his playful gestures, twirling your hair, teasing your arms with feather-light touches from the tips of his fingers, chuckling to himself when it makes you shudder in your sleep. How adorable. He simply can’t get enough of you as he’s fighting the urge to deliciously bite your exposed shoulder. If only the hours of the night lasts much longer, he wouldn’t complain at all if he gets to sleep more next to you.
i have one (1) tbiz fic that’s so very dear to my heart and it consists in tobirama being the most miserable human being on earth from start to finish (he caught feelings for izuna)
HELLO BB what are your thoughts on reader outfreaking dex (especially his pre-fisk netflix era) like asking him to put you in a headlock, that man is such a switch but would love to be a service top for your wild requests 😩😩😝
a/n: OH MY SWEETNESS?! Thank you anon, pre-fisk fbi dex literally has me on a chokehold, the love I carry for this version of dex before everything went into chaos has me going insane. Fbi dex is my pathetic babygirl
Our (ddba) silver fox Dex is different. If you ever outfreak him in bed, it will only drive him into a frenzy. Ask him for a headlock? He’ll gladly wrap his bicep tight around your head, letting you bite and drool all over his skin as he drills into you from behind. That man will have the most arrogant smirk on his face, amused from your incoherent whines and your flailing arms gripping for him. “What’s the matter, baby? You said you’re a tough girl. Too much for ‘ya?” Feeling you clench his length from his words while on the brink of asphyxiation unlocks that feral part of him that he had always tried to control for your sake. “So fucking good f’me, you’re my tough girl, aren’t ya?” You hear him chuckle at your frantic nodding, at how much you enjoy this that you can barely form any response from how hard he’s going, fulfilling your request. He’s no longer holding back. You may have been the one to ask but in the end, you’ll be the one pleading as he sends you into bliss over and over again. And that is only the beginning of it.
Now, if we’re talking about fbi dex, he’s definitely a switch, leaning more into the submissive side. And whenever he is on top, he prioritizes your comfort and pleasure which is most important to him. Dex starts out as quite vanilla in your relationship, your his first everything after all. Although eventually, he becomes acquainted with different kinks that you introduce to him, he learns them with such eagerness that it made you almost forget you were the freaky one at the beginning of your relationship. Dex is someone who constantly seeks to prove himself to you, to show that he can be the best for you, in and out of the bedroom. He will let you lead any time, whether that is by pulling his hand or using the collar of his shirt as you push him to sit on the bed. You won’t hear a single complaint, his mind is already swimming on cloud nine whenever you’re in charge. You swear he almost looks like a kicked wet puppy from the way his pupils instantly dilate, making his hazel eyes look darker.
If you ever come up to him on a normal day and ask if he’d ever like to try a headlock (you have to clarify it’s on you), he’ll become a flustered stuttering mess at your direct request. You watch him pause at whatever he’s doing, the gears turning in his head as he tries to come up with the perfect response while still in shock. You’ll end up telling him it’s just a joke instead.
Even when you ease him up by saying you’re only kidding, he will have that thought repeating in his mind until it keeps him awake at night. He imagines you under him, a disheveled mess, knees quivering as you struggle to hold yourself up from how good he makes you feel. He’ll anticipate the perfect time to bring up the subject, eager to ask you and fulfill your requests.
He’ll ask you many times, before, during and after the act. Constantly observing your face and the telltale signs of your body for any discomfort. Making you reach your high is just as pleasurable for him. And even when his cock is overstimulated inside you, he’ll keep going, seeking to have you fall apart under him. “Am I doing good for you, baby? Please, tell me, tell me.” He mumbles to your cheek, breathless as he picks up the speed. The sound of skin slapping on skin getting obnoxiously louder. “You feel so fucking good,” he lets out, tears rolling down his flushed face. He bites your already bruised shoulder to cover his whimpering while you tap at his arm, urging him to squish your cheeks more. “Tighter, Dex!” You plead, gesturing to his arm, wanting him to add more on the comforting pressure around your head. “Tighter? Like this? Don't worry, baby. Gonna take good care of you, won't need anyone but me okay?”
hiii gorg i would love to hear some of ur dex hcs!! not a minute has gone by where i havent been thinking of him as of late…
a/n: me too, honey. me too. that man is so fine, he has occupied my mind 24/7 :<< thank you so much for asking!! I have both soft and nsfw hcs but let’s start small for this one first, i’ve been waiting to post this one (specifically relationship hcs) so I think it’s time to clear out some of my drafts too ;> 💋💋
Dex is quite the most observant man you could ever meet in your life, you would think that’s just a requirement in his job but no. He feasts his eyes on you like a devotee gifted the rarest chance to remember your likeness and he takes every opportunity, every moment, his turbulent mind soaking up all the details. At first, it overwhelmed you, being the muse receiving his heavy gaze but it is not scrutiny, no. He observes you, not to critique but to intake and ingrain you in his head over and over and over again. He memorizes each expression and catalogs them in his brain, the way you scrunch your brows in confusion, how you sigh when you receive more work and how your smile forms when you see your favorite dessert. Even the smallest quirks you try to cover up and pretend like nobody caught, he retains in his mind. The more he learns of you, the closer he feels, (whether that is from remembering the smallest details you mention or from discreetly following you).
If you once mention that you find a certain scent addicting while trying out the samples at the make-up store, don’t be surprised when you find the same scent lingering on his clothes the next day. His system refuses to calm down as he awaits your reaction. The scenario already ran through in his mind two or three times. He acts like his heart didn’t skip a beat as he observes the way you pause and your shy realization. “You’re wearing the new release, aren’t you?” He leans closer a bit, elated that he caused the faint blush that tinted your cheeks. “Yes, do you like it?” He asks. After obtaining his confirmation, he purchases two more bottles of the same perfume.
If he sees the slightest winces of pain and annoyance as you roughly attempt to tame your hair, he will grab the brush from your hand and gently position you to sit in front of him, taking the duty of untangling the wet knots in your hair with such gentleness and reverence. You nearly laugh at how serious his expression looks, like a soldier given a significant mission of dismantling an explosive. He wishes to serve you, without voicing his longing, he wants to be of use to you, to prove that you need him and only him. Even the smallest domestic acts, he’ll insist on doing everything for you, it’s his mind screaming I can do this for you, don’t leave me, I’ll be really good please.
You would think that his vigilant behavior is simply a habit from his experiences, after all he is a former veteran and an fbi agent. Dex is rightfully over-protective of what’s his. You’re not a property to him, you’re the receiver of his veneration. You’re that burning desire he has to tame, the only good thing that makes his chest ache with want. Whether you’re choosing at the vegetable section of the grocery store, or crouching down to pet a stray cat at the park, he would glare at any man who dares to even direct their glance at you. Even the harmless smile from the barista at your regular cafe would make him alert. He is the dark shadow that trails after your light, yearning to be graced by you while simultaneously frightening others from getting close to you.
Dex is the kind of man who doesn’t want to appear needy or weak from every moment spent without your touch, as if his skin doesn’t itch from wanting to feel your warmth. He will wait until you’re sound asleep in his arms before he peppers your face with kisses. Dex inhales your scent like it is the oxygen sustaining him, it makes his body feel electric, like a drug that makes his mind clearer. When the buzzing in his head won’t stop, he’ll press his nose to the crown of your head and like a silent prayer, the storm in his mind calms. His senses recognizes you, your voice, your touch, and your scent as safety. You are his haven, he’s the only one who gets to have you like this and he’ll make sure of that. While you dream in his embrace, he presses his lips to the inside of your wrist, your palm and the tips of your delicate fingers. It’s his ritual, enjoying the softness of you from his lips like he’s reminding himself you’re real, you’re here, you’re his.
a/n: the concept that perfume is for women while cologne is for men is a common misconception. the difference is that perfume has the highest concentration of aromatic oils, is meant to last all-day, hence why it’s often more expensive. cologne, on the other hand, has a low oil concentration, it often fades after 2-3 hours, so it requires frequent reapplication. it was nice to search this up ^^
tags/warnings: no proofread yet, just a really short drabble, beware i wrote this at 2-3 am, no smut, unhealthy relationship (keep it fictional, everyone!), comfort, insecure dex
You truly don’t know what possessed you to utter those words, but with Dex, all self-restraint seems to leave your soul. Why constrain yourself when you want to give everything, all of you, to him?
Even after knowing the atrocities he is capable of, everything he has done, even when he’s explaining why he can never be normal, your affection for him ignores all the bells ringing.
“I adore the texture of your mind,” you blurted out, cross-legged on his bed, a quarter past midnight and unable to fall asleep. Dex only furrowed his brows in confusion, his frown changing from disappointment to anger in a split second. “Why would you say such an odd thing?” He whispered, fingers reaching and toying with the sleeve of his own sweater worn by you.
“I don’t know but it’s true,” you reach for him, intertwining your hands together.
You shouldn’t hold his hand. You shouldn’t touch him. You shouldn’t be here, in his bed, with him. His hand is rough, familiar with blood, the same hand that he used to kill others like it was his nature, holding your soft one, yours so innocent. You shouldn’t hold him, he’ll only taint you.
And yet, you stay, you hear the thundering doubts and the unpredictable storm in his mind. “I’m staying, Dex. I chose to stay and I will continue to stay by your side,” you whisper, not a promise, but simply the truth. You’re far too entangled in this mess, in him, he is your mess.
He lifts his gaze from both your hands to your eyes, and you don’t shy away even when it makes you shudder. He’s observing you, studying you, cataloging every micro-expression until a shaky exhale escapes him from realizing the truth, you nearly thought he might crumble. He is nearly crumbling.
“You know I’m never letting you go, right?” Not just from the moment he ached for you. He began tying his invisible leash the moment you reciprocated his affection. “I know,” you mumbled, with the warmest smile gracing your features, he thought his chest might burst from how overwhelmed you make him feel.
“I’ll always be here. I’m not going anywhere, Dex.” You comfort, for the hundredth time, as you pull him to lay his heavy head on your lap. The storm will never leave his wretched mind, it has been there since he was a child and will continue to be there even with you. But it doesn’t frighten you, doesn’t make you run away. “I’m not running away.”
His arms come to wrap around your waist, clinging to the only person who ever stayed in his miserable gray life, his anchor, both his stability and vulnerability. “Good. Because you’re already mine,” he closes his eyes, you don’t miss the small smile that makes him look so beautiful, so at peace.
“I won’t let you anyway,” he adds, his voice muffled as he hides his face in your lap. A threat laced with fondness as his embrace only tightens. Those words should make you shiver and fill you with dread, but they don’t.
Unhealthy. Destructive. You’re well aware of that, you know this possessive relationship might only lead you both to your ruin. But you only see the romance in this tragedy which is your bond, the chains you both hold around each other, he refuses to let you go and you only wish to keep him.
“Do you really love me?” He asks. Again.
Even if I’m dirty. Even when I’ve killed and will kill again. Even if staying with me only ruins you more. Even when I’m too much, suffocating, asking again and again and begging you not to leave me.
Your gentle hands wander over his hair, his cheeks and his shoulders. Your gentle touch, your warmth, he doesn’t deserve it but you grant it without hesitation, without eagerness, every single time. “Yes. Yes, I do, even when your mind convinces you that I’ll leave anytime. I’ll stay.” You wouldn’t change anything, you refuse to change anything about Dex. You don’t stay because you wish to fix him, no, you stay because you adore him, every broken shard.
He’s yours. You are his haven and his end. He is your protector and your storm.
Hey doll!!! Luv ur idea that Buck is a biter. I also have one to suggest. The B in Buck stands for Bush-Lover. I said what I said. 😇😁
a/n: anon, lemme tell you I fucking squealed when I read this! Whoever you are, you made me giggle. Just what I need after that ending TT and you’re absolutely right with this, the B in Buck Cashman’s name stands for Bush-lover. Amen.
Buck won’t meddle with your preferences, waxed, shaved or bush, it’s your choice after all. But that man utterly despises the idea of having to get rid of such lovely hair just to appeal to the male gaze and societal standards. The concept physically icks him. If he overhears the men in the office discussing without regard how they prefer women to be practically and perfectly hairless like a sphynx cat (I’m looking at you Nate Jacobs), let’s just say those men will shut up real quick from Buck’s condemnatory side-eye.
He’s an old traditional man. He’s the best at his job, working day and night in dangerous assignments. So when he’s finally free from his obligations, he wants nothing more than to come home and immediately place your thighs on his shoulders to shove his face in your most sacred place. No words. The moment you hear the door open, you’re already seated in bed. You’ll know at once with that that hungry look in his eyes, as he makes his way to you in just a few large steps. Kneeling down for his most favorite activity.
Having you in his bed, in his arms, on his face? It’s the most precious gift you grant him. The fact that you let him see you, have you in your most vulnerable form, he feels like he’s being blessed by an angel. So if you’re ever shy, covering your face from embarrassment and closing your legs instead, worrying if you please him, he’ll only knit his brows in confusion. Why would you want to change how you are when you are beautiful this way? He’s already plotting on your previous boyfriends, fuck those men, why would you ever get rid of such lovely hair? He won’t stop you from trying to book a waxing appointment but let’s just say, those are unsurprisingly discontinued. This man will secretly cancel those appointments or either trap you in bed, laying his weight over you so you can’t escape under the guise of spending more time together.
This man would want you on his face 24/7. No complaints. He would give you that one signature stern look with his commanding eyes, ordering you to obey and straddle your seat his face. He could go on for hours. Seeing how wet he makes you and the scent of your arousal drives him to a frenzy.
After he’s sent you to heaven more than four times (you’ve likely lost count), you’re laying on your back trying to catch your breath, with Buck’s head resting on your abdomen. His talented mouth pressing sticky kisses to your belly and you’ll find his hand finding comfort by playing with your bush.
If you haven’t already, could I request John Walker dating hcs where reader is a Thunderbolts member too?
Also, do you write for Buck Cashman?
a/n: yipeeeee! thank you dear anon, John Walker literally gave me brainrot when Thunderbolts came out last year, my fave blonde himbo. And I will write for Buck Cashman soon, that british man is too underrated. I have a bunch of unfinished wips waiting for my creativity to spark back again, I’m currently balancing between work and my limited free time so posts may come slow TT
John Walker x Thunderbolts! reader
A golden retriever, you decided, that is what John Walker reminded you of whenever he sprinted to your solace, laying his heavy head so delicately on your lap for you to pet on. Not the ecstatic and bouncing with energy kind, instead he reminds you of an abandoned golden retriever who’s been deprived of comfort and is doing his very best to be good for you, to be deserving of your praise, of your attention. He might be viewed rough on the edge and perhaps even an arsehole, but he becomes the most affectionate man to you, eager to please you, your desires and needs before you even voice them out loud. John doesn’t agree with the idea when you associated the affectionate creature with him, even suggesting that he should be a labrador instead, but he doesn’t remove his head from your lap, cannot will himself to pull away from the peace you’re granting him, the touch of your fingers massaging his scalp and playing with his golden hair. “Just a few more minutes”, he mumbled when you ask him to get up from the floor and lay on the bed instead. His knees can handle it, he stays in this position for a few more moments, relishing in how you easily make him feel cherished. He only gets up (quite instantly) when you suggested he should rest his head on your chest instead.
John Walker is quite the stubborn man. It took quite awhile before you and John finally confessed your feelings and enter into a serious relationship after nearly a year of pretending like the tension in the atmosphere was simply awkwardness and definitely not because of a hesitant desire to be something more. He is perhaps the most stubborn man you’ll ever meet so it is no surprise that his mind’s first response is to run away from his feelings which continue to grow day by day after the realization that he doesn’t just want you, he wants to utterly be yours. He wants to be your man, your protector, your lover, yours. When Yelena casually pointed out just how many potential suitors you had within the room, during a gala they infiltrated, he feels his chest weigh heavy as he assessed every single gaze directed at you. The thought of another man approaching you, dancing with you and getting the opportunity to make you laugh made him feel sick. That’s how he knew he would never be content, would never be the same, if he watches you fall into someone else’s arms while he remains as a friend. You can’t imagine the relief he felt, as the heaviness that he’s been carrying in his heart for months leave his body when your lips finally kiss after a very much long awaited confession.
At first, you and the avid soldier hide your relationship from the rest of the Thunderbolts, to maintain professionalism within the team after all. Especially from the press, pulling on your best disguises during your dates. You and the rest of the Thunderbolts are no doubt a family, with the exception of you and John having a romantic relationship. Ever since the event that wrapped New York into a momentary state of darkness, you and everyone else never parted, not out of obligation but simply because you found that having company is always better than being alone. While John is the image of a tough soldier, sometimes even expecting himself to be as unbreakable as his exterior, he may hesitate to say what he feels at times but one thing for certain is that he will never hesitate in being there for you, at your most vulnerable, promising you that you will never feel alone ever again, that you will never sit in the darkness by yourself. It doesn’t matter how many times he has to repeat it, he will affirm it over and over again until your heart and mind accepts his words “Tell me about it, I could never be annoyed. You’re not trouble at all. You’re not a burden to me, sweetheart. Okay?” You will never be a nuisance to him, oh how he wishes he could punch the people who made you feel like confiding to others is an inconvenience. Only with you did John learn that it’s alright to crumble, with your patience and your warmth, he allows himself vulnerability in the safety of your embrace. He doesn’t find judgement in your kind eyes and you don’t hear any frustration in his voice.
John Walker who only feels assured that you are indeed safe, not after every threat has been eliminated and every miscreant defeated and locked away, no, he is only assured when he finally has you resting in his arms. After another successful mission that exhausted everyone, he will sneak you into his room to stay for the night. He uses the excuse that you haven’t had enough time spent together which makes you chuckle (knowing damn well he steals every opportunity to be in your presence), when truly he could only fall asleep better when you are safe in his embrace. The scent of your lotion and the gentle patterns you draw in his arm grounds him. John is the kind of man who will await for you to sleep first before he allows himself to, no matter how tired, no matter how much his body aches. He never forgets to press a kiss goodnight to your forehead.
As you’re all seated in your respective seats on the flight returning to base, with John on your side, shoulders and knees constantly bumping to each other, Ava will literally ask if there’s a holiday she missed in the calendar when she points out the big dumb smile on John’s face after the mission. He’ll reply that it’s nothing, simply that he’s surprised they’re all going back to the hometower early, when in reality he’s barely containing how struck he is in wonder of you after witnessing you effortlessly beat fifteen mercenaries without assistance. He knows you’re very capable on your own though he will never stop constantly looking over for you in missions when he holds you with such importance, he can’t help but feel like a highschooler having a crush whenever you win a fight. The same spark of excitement rushes through his veins when you suggest to train together and fight him. He feels proud of you for challenging yourself despite the gap in your strengths. Sometimes he even lets you win, allowing you to playfully pin him down and straddle him, he finds himself enjoying the moment too much that he didn’t notice Bob awkwardly trying to insert himself in the scene. “Oh! Uhhh. . . keep- keep going! Don’t mind me guys, Ava just sent me to ask if you guys want pepperoni or hawaiian for pizza?” Ava without a doubt, sent him to check if you two are still busy using the training room because none of them wants to witness the overbearing pda tension, except Alexei maybe.
John Walker who cannot pretend to be nonchalant when it comes to you, it simply isn’t in his dictionary. He tries, really tries to act unbothered when Yelena and Ava show off the trending posts on twitter shipping you and Bucky together (after explaining what ships meant, ofcourse), and while Bucky complains that you two are more like siblings, John keeps his jaw clenched. Everyone, especially you, can’t ignore how he goes quiet and leaves the room brimming with jealousy. You and Bucky? Outrageous! He tries to convince himself, it’s fine, at the end of the day, he’s the one who gets to kiss you senseless and hold you close at night, he’s the one who has his scent all over you, he’s the only one you allow to touch your scars, he’s one you love. However, he is a possessive man, especially when it comes to you. Don’t be surprised with how the following day during group breakfast, he takes one serious look at you before his posture adopts the serious stance of a captain stating important news. Without a warning to you, he announces to everyone in the group, still groggy and half-asleep, that you and him are dating. There is three seconds of silence before they all complain “we already know!” The man is too enamored by you that it would be stupid to deny otherwise.
a/n: I feel like I got carried away and forgot I’m supposed to be writing simple hcs, it’s 4:30 am and I haven’t gotten any sleep yet anyways—
what the fuck is up ’m back after four years and thirstier than ever so im gonna bring this blog back to life for a little.
ill be writing mainly for valorant, but also some stuff for overwatch and other misc. fandoms here and there.
this is a reminder that my writings have very dark themes that may unsettle people - this includes but is not limited to: dubcon, noncon, kidnapping, yandere, etc...
please read at your own risk and keep yourselves in a good headspace. also i tend to write reader insert and not canon x canon fics and drabbles. ok anyways my requests are open for valorant and im about to start dumping some stuff on here, might be unfinished and shit.
