things my classmates have done according to their sign
aries: gave a presentation on the venus flytrap when tasked to present on “coniferous plants”, they thought coniferous and carnivorous were the same thing
taurus: said so many bad food related puns that the waiter at the restaurant stopped serving us
gemini: told everyone in school that i had yellow fever even if i explicitly told them i was “getting flu shots”
cancer: broke up with a girl because she didn’t have a driver’s license
leo: spent more than $20 on a christmas present for a crush they knew for two days and lives halfway around the world in order to manipulate them into maintaining the friendship overseas
virgo: ran out of socks so they wrapped their feet in tissues, slipped on some crocs and went to school
libra: bought front row tickets to a concert they hated just because they knew someone they hated wanted to go
scorpio: nearly failed out of high school because they were juggling almost five boyfriends
sagittarius: got drunk during a school trip and charged the alcohol to the teacher’s hotel room
capricorn: showed off their iphone case saying “save a lollipop, suck a dick” to a teacher
aquarius: wore a deflated football ball as a hat for a day
pisces: tackled a bouncer to try to reach an american idol contestant
