#poor kevin

[thenerdwithadhdanddeppression]

imagine being 10 years old and your names kevin and your trying to play exy with your friends and you randomly get pulled aside to watch a man get brutally murdered and then just expected to go back to practice as normal

[all-for-the-game-random-blogs]

I keep seeing posts about why do the freshmen hate Neil and the response is that people forget Neil is an asshole. True

We spent 3 books inside of Neil’s head so we saw the thought process of Neil’s words

Imagine being Kevin in the first book and you’re chilling in your apartment when a 5’3 man comes in and starts yelling at you in French about not touching his things then calls you a cr’pple and runs away. Like that’s weird and an asshole move

That’s also only 1 example and one the earliest things Neil does before shit hit the fan

[viiiiiliiiii]

now imagine a sleepy, disheveled Kevin shuffling wearily up and down the bus aisle to keep himself from falling asleep. every now and then he stops, stares blankly out the window, and absentmindedly pokes the glass with his finger just to give himself something to do, only for someone to immediately yell, “Move it, Kevin!” so he sighs and starts shuffling along the aisle again.

[sunsetssong]

thinking about Kevin right now, who has known what grief feels like his entire life.

First his mother, and then that small child all those years ago who just wanted to play Exy, and later more often when another Raven disappeared from the team after not showing potential or disobeying the master, and then anytime he looked at Jean and saw how much he hated life.

Once he left the Ravens and became a Fox, he thought he would finally stop grieving.

And then he met Neil, and Jean said the words “the Butcher’s son,” and Neil explained everything.

And suddenly Kevin feels this familiar heaviness in his chest. He is looking at Neil, and he keeps seeing this child, all excited to play with other children his age. Nathaniel had been so fast, here one moment, and across the court in the next.

All that keeps repeating in his mind now is how could he not know?

In the following days, weeks, months, he keeps looking at Neil making connections with the Foxes, looks at him living, and his heart aches.

Because Neil should be Court. He should have pro teams lining up to get him on his team, the US Court begging him to join once Kevin taught him everything he knew.

He had plans for Neil, and now it was for nothing.

So when he sees Andrew looking at him with curiosity, and Neil hanging on Andrew’s side anytime he had the opportunity, when he sees them disappearing together and coming back messier and with a certain glow, Kevin knows.

He knows what is happening, and everything in him screams to tell them that they should stop, that this will destroy them, that it has no chance of ending good. But Neil is going to die. Not even he is cruel enough to tell him no.

The only thing he can do now is to watch Neil live, and count down the days he has left in his head.

[drift-queer]

when one Kevin got hurt in the making of the video

[stars-and-leather]

Neil heard "it'll get worse before it gets better," looked at kevin, and decided to speed up the process

[papa-evershed]

Rob James-Collier as Kevin O'Dowd

The Level Episode Six

[waffleaffogas]

manifesting a kevin day redemption arc (5 minutes of him being moderately okay)