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Legolas: ada
Thranduil: yes?
Legolas: ..what if I were a worm?
Thranduil: ...
Thranduil: what
Thranduil: ew
Fanfic Writers Getting Faves Wrong Again
My least favourite trope in LOTR fanfics is when the writers use other characters to waggle fingers in Eowyn's face and chide her for not conforming to her assigned gender role. Where they treat her like a silly, selfish child for daring to want more than what was allowed to her, for seeking what is never denied the male characters, and refusing to let them do to her what is never done to them.
I hate it when they ignore how much Tolkien sides with Eowyn over the injustice she faces, how he had her point out that whatever Aragorn says, what he means is "you're a woman and your place is where we put you." That he had Gandalf, voice of wisdom, point out that it was sexism that drove her to despair. That he vindicated hers and Merry's place on the battlefield by having them deliver a pivotal blow.
And that he gives Eowyn the renown and fame she longed for with open hands. Tolkien didn't side with Eowyn seeking death, but claiming her life for herself, serving how she chose, wanting to do what had been forbidden for her, and wanting the respect that was denied her for her respect, was something the narrative sides with her entirely.
If Eowyn going to battle was meant to be wrong, the narrative wouldn't have had the Witch King killed by her hands, nor would everyone afterwards be singing of how brave and noble she had been.
One of the worst cases was when someone used poor Legolas to tell Eowyn that she will have to give up her silly GNC ways and become a wife and mother; a much purer, nobler cause for a woman (ignoring her personal desire to be a healer), and that it was wrong of her to go and fight and end life, when she was blessed with the ability to bring it.
"Oh Eowyn, why would you wish to use your skills and your strength and your wit and quick thinking, when you could lie on your back and use your womb instead?"
Ew.
Aragorn: Gollum is now imprisoned by the watchful Elves of Mirkwood, where he can be kept out of mischief.
Legolas: Lol, about that.
okay but that moment in Two Towers when Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli have met up with Merry and Pippin and they’ve feasted on Saruman’s food and are getting ready to have a post-meal smoke, and Legolas says “okay well I’m going outside” so he doesn’t have to be around the smokers and Aragorn says “we’ll come with you!” and then they all follow him outside and smoke there, amirite?
Legolas: You consider me a friend?
Gimli: Sure. What else would I consider you?
Legolas: I don't know. An embarrassment? A way to rebel against your parents? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.
Aragorn, trying to cheer Legolas up after breaking up with Gimli: Legolas, you have a lot to offer someone! You're funny, you're smart.
Legolas: ...
Aragorn: You're creative, you've got style!
Legolas: ...
Legolas: Oh, did you want me to say something?
Aragorn: You have fantastic hair. Your name is Legolas.
Legolas: Thanks, Aragorn.
ff+ Elydir [sorryyyyyy]
@i-dream-of-oceans
Legolas felt that, if he had to read one more badly written love story - if these texts even were about love; the author certainly did not waste any time describe feelings and sentiments between the crude descriptions - he would go mad, and yet there the parchment was again, this time placed upon his bed while he slept. Whoever the mysterious writer was, he or she surely had a light foot, and knew the forest. Could it be an elf? The presumption was outrageous, and yet… Valar, he was already losing his mind!
More to focus on something else than out of curiosity, Legolas took the letter and opened it. He had already scanned the first paragraph when his eyes finally caught the name of the poor subject in question.
Elydir. The parchment trembled and fell out of his hands. Somehow, this was even worse than Bolg and Saruman. Those were enemies. Elydir… She was like his sister. He should not be reading another word of this. It would seem his flames would have food for the rest of the week if this game continued.
Fanfiction Meme (Not Accepting)
Poor Legolas. He just wanted to ride the pony.
