Thinking about how Kris dislikes being human, how they dont react well to the caring for humans book, how they don't seem positive when looking in the mirror, how they tried so hard to look like their monster family.
Thinking of how Ralsei somehow reflects that part of Kris, of how sad Ralsei is to be a darkner, how said he can't spend time in the light with his two best friends, how he puts himself down for what he is so hard he unknowingly hurts other darkners.
Thinking of how the self-hate for both Kris and Ralsei is so bad that they hate what they are.
I was thinking about Ralsei just now (as usual) and noticed something strange about this dialogue here
I was thinking about how Ralsei said that he held his plushie every night. Then I remembered that canonically, only one night has actually passed since c2 where he got the plushie.
This probably goes to show how little Ralsei is aware of how much time has passed, so they probably sleep A LOT. Like, they could've been awake for maybe a few hours and he's already back to sleep like "I've done my duties today, I suppose!" and off he goes to his room again 💔
Seam knows their fate. They've resigned to it, opting to live the remainder of their days in quiet, unbothersome solitude until the last grain of sand falls.
Ralsei also knows, and Seam can see how it haunts the prince, a being too kind and honest to stare down the inevitability of destiny and emerge unshaken.
When the railroading hand of fate finally proves too much for Ralsei's sweet mind to handle, a still-living part of Seam finds themself doing their best.
The two Shadow Crystals ran across their fur, threatening to trickle over the side of their paw if they were not mindful of their swaying movements.
Fascinating, how glass could have such properties.
Even more fascinating was how the Lightners could procure these oddities in so little time. Granted, Seam could see the weariness and fatigue behind their eyes, knowing the opponents they had to face - Darkners maddened, detached from reality, vying for freedom that never belonged to them in the first place. Don't they know the futility of their yearnings? It perplexed Seam to no end. How was one able to confront the ugly truth of the world's very foundation and take it as a challenge? Inconceivable. A waste of breath.
Still, the Shadow Crystals were here nonetheless, claimed as trophies to prove a hard-fought victory: two grueling trials that the Lightners overcame through sheer tenacity, will, and…
Well, it's not like it would be enough to face what comes next. Not without the Shadow Mantle, and Seam had no clue where it could have gone.
Hah. Seam, not knowing. What a twist.
Perhaps the Lightners will defy their expectations and claim that third crystal, with or without the Mantle, or in the end, despite their struggle, all will come to pass as foretold: failure.
Still, if there was one thing these adventurers have proved, it's that even fate can hide a few wrinkles that go unnoticed at first glance. It certainly kept their existence interesting, enriching their life into something more than a ticking clock counting down toward an ominous zero.
The zero, at the very least, was slightly less ominous.
But what of the prince? Did he heed those same little lessons?
Seam and Ralsei hadn't known each other long. It was only yesterday, after all. And encounters with the fluffy prince were kept exclusive to visits to their humble little 'seap', with him often hanging close to the entryway while the Lightners browsed their wares. The cage did most of the talking, anyway.
Yet, Seam only needed to look behind those green-rimmed glasses just once to recognize the haunted, near-paranoid gaze of someone awaiting the inevitable. It was a gaze they recognized in themself, yet in Ralsei, despite his well-practiced smiles, it was far more troubled, far more distressed, far more knowing.
It was a look that didn't belong on a face otherwise joyful, bright, and, well, fluffy. If one weren't looking for such specific, silent misery, that smile would easily fool even the most scrutinous.
But Seam knew when a smile is coiled just a little too tight, sculpted with appearances in mind, with eyes closed as a supposed show of politeness. They recognized the role Ralsei was trapped to play, as written in scripture: the prince, alone in deepest dark.
And what could be darker, yet darker than being alone in knowing the cruel guarantee of fate?
Seam put the Shadow Crystals aside, letting them shimmer in the low light of their store. Not much they could do with them for now. Whether or not they get the rest of the crystals is, for now, in the hands of the Lightners.
Speaking of, Seam caught a glimpse of Ralsei following the Lightners to the entrance of Castle Town, watching the two step into the beam of light, ascending back to their home realm.
Ralsei waved goodbye with that wide, gleeful smile, which thinned as soon as the Lightners were out of sight.
He stood in the same spot, hand still suspended mid-wave, his jaw tightening as he held that still-thinning smile by any means necessary.
It was a losing battle.
Eventually, Ralsei released that building tension with a sigh, turning away from the beam, hands once again balled behind his back. "Well… I suppose it's time for me to build Queen's room. Not much else to do."
There was a tired melancholy to his voice, a resigned finality to his words. Something about them caused Seam's gut to stir, and their whiskers to twitch.
'Not much else to do but hope they make up…'
Ah, so that's where they heard it from.
He even looked like him, now that Seam thought about it: downy snow-white fur, big trusting eyes, even that little tuft of fur atop his head that wasn't quite hair.
Perhaps it was those similarities that compelled Seam to hesitantly mosey out of their seap, their gaze tracking Ralsei as he walked back to his castle, his posture progressively hunching over with rising fatigue.
On any other day, Seam would have decided this was not their place. The affairs of the other Darkners never concerned them. At best, the antics of Castle Town were a mere distraction from their always-wandering mind. They were pleasantly surprising distractions, but still. At worst, everyone around them was a grim reminder of the loss they had conditioned themself to roll over when it inevitably arrives.
And yet, Seam followed Ralsei into his castle, keeping a respectful distance, watching as the prince started avoiding eye contact with the other Darkners, as well as tugging his long, floppy ears.
Just like him, too.
Just like their soft, sensitive boy.
"Prince," Seam finally called out, the gentleness to their usual gravelly voice surprising even them, as if unearthing an old, long-forgotten reflex.
Ralsei stiffened, nearly tripping over his paws as he hesitantly turned to face the shopkeeper. "S-Seam?" he stammered, swallowing twice too many.
Seam maintained eye contact with the prince, watching the foundation of his well-constructed smile waver ever-so-slightly. There was a shimmer behind his glasses that wasn't there previously, catching the light of the castle's candles.
They took another step forward, ruminating over what to say next, chastising themself for not thinking this far ahead. "You look tired," they settled on.
Ralsei flushed, averting his gaze to the floor as he fumbled his hands together. "I-I'm sorry, I guess, um… with today's adventure and all the excitement, I…"
"Come to my shop," Seam extended, "I'm afraid I had prepared too much tea, and I would hate to waste what I don't drink."
There was no tea, but now that Seam thought about it, they would not mind a cup.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time Ralsei had stepped into their store, Seam had already boiled the water. With a quick display of fire magic, it didn't take much to heat the kettle, but the prince must have thought this offer many times before making the trip.
"Welcome, prince," Seam smiled, pouring Ralsei a cup as he leaned over the shop counter.
"T-Thank you, Seam…" he politely stammered, paws wrapped around the cup.
Seam brought their own cup to their lips, not minding the sudden heat as it stung beneath their fur. As they drank, they couldn't help but keep their gaze hovering over Ralsei.
His posture remained hunched, the steam fogging his glasses as he gazed into the liquid, meeting the reflection of increasingly vacant, tired eyes.
He stayed like this for minutes. Even as the tea cooled, something within Ralsei had kept his mind and body paralyzed. The only movements were the subtle twitching of his jaw and the occasional squinting of his eyes.
"I… I think I messed up," Ralsei finally spoke, paws tightening around the cup.
Seam raised a brow, not expecting such sullen words. "Explain."
"The salesman. T-The one who went mad."
The bearer of the second Shadow Crystal, Seam recalled. "What about him?"
Ralsei took a breah, still staring into his reflection in the tea. His throat bobbed with words incomplete, thoughts that began and ended within the same breath, all with intentions he couldn't quite form into a coherent mass.
"I h-hurt Kris…" he muttered, mouth stretching thin. "T-Their role in the prophecy… being u-used as a vehicle for the SOUL, I c-can tell it's getting to them…"
He sucked in a breath, slow, trying to iron out the subtle trembles. "T-The salesman, his, um… circumstances, resonated with Kris. A lot. T-The feeling of being… puppeted… h-held by strings… u-unable to break free, and…"
Seam's face softened as they heard the prince's breath lodge, clinging to the back of his throat. "T-They were shaking after the battle, t-they wouldn't stop a-and they started yelling and…"
Ralsei tugged at his ears, his now-cold cup of tea forgotten on the table. "I t-tried to make them feel better… I… I told them not to t-think about it, to t-think about something that makes them happy… a-and they way they… t-they looked at me… I…"
The first of many tears started to gather, fogging his glasses. "I t-think they hate me…"
Something compelled Seam to lean forward. "You cannot know that."
"B-But they do! And I keep making things worse for them!" Ralsei finally snapped, his well-constructed walls finally crumbling. "They hate what the SOUL is doing to them! They hate feeling trapped and used, and I hate that there's nothing I can do about it! N-No matter how many times I try to explain, to recall the teachings of the Prophecy, I can't make it better!"
Seam stood, rounding the table as Ralsei's fur already became matted and curled with thick, heavy rolls of tears. They were quick to envelop the prince in a tentative, yet still warm embrace.
Ralsei hiccuped at the contact, his voice tiny and constricted, as he found himself nuzzling into Seam's broad chest. He clung to their cloak, his paws kneading unconsciously. "T-The Prophecy… Kris has b-been chosen as the cage, a-and it's not fair… i-it's not fair to them…"
Seam nodded, holding Ralsei closer as his words were hindered by more hitching, near-sob breaths that were most certainly painful stabs to the lungs. "I d-don't know what to do… I c-can only distract the SOUL for moments at a time… I c-can't banish it, I can't give Kris their freedom back… the Prophecy… Deltarune… won't let us…"
A wet, snotty sniffle sent a knife through Seam's heart - a pang they had not felt in many years. It was the same sniffle as back then. "Prince…"
His tears did not slow. "I-I'm trying so hard… I c-can see the end coming, I know i-it's coming, a-and I don't… I don't want it to be true… I can't let it… I c-can't do that to Kris… a-and to Susie… No…" A sharp, panicked breath. "N-No no no… I can't do that to Susie… she'd be sad… or she'd hate me too… f-for lying, for hiding everything from her and Kris… I don't want her to hate me… I really, really, really don't want her to hate… m-me…"
Seam merely ran a hand through Ralsei's fur, trying to ignore how tight their throat had become. In the face of the prince's sheer helplessness, all the cat could do was not give in to those same tears.
Nothing has changed.
Back then, they never found the right words for their previous boy, to keep him safe from the shouts that fractured his home. And now, all those years later, with Ralsei's tears soaking their cloak, forced to listen to those familiar, squeaky, terrible sobs, the words failed them once more.
Especially because Seam also knew. They saw the ending approach from the horizon. What could they possibly say to mitigate the truth? To sugarcoat the inevitable? To handwave the permanence of destiny?
"H-How... How can you stand it?" Ralsei pleaded, tightening his grip on Seam's cloak. "How can you k-know what's coming and still... function?"
The desperate, shuddering emphasis on that word - Seam couldn't help but laugh, still keeping the prince close. "Resignation is not function, prince."
Ralsei sniffled, his breathing interrupted with more hiccups as he tried and failed pulling himself back together. "T-Then… What do I do? H-How can I even think without it hurting so horribly… How can I e-even look at my friends without… w-without knowing where they'll end up… where… w-where…"
An especially sharp, whistling breath from Ralsei further stabbed at this raw, scalding ache in Seam's chest.
"K-Kris… Susie… L-Lancer… E-Everyone…" Ralsei tugged at his ears some more, the already near-constant stream of tears now an unrelenting torrent. "I-I'm… so… I'm so…"
Seam could only take off his fogged, tear-stained glasses as the existential helplessness finally slammed into Ralsei's very soul. It only took two more loose, haggard breaths for the throat-searing cries to tumble out in full force.
Those awful noises had been building up in his lungs, coming out surprisingly deep for how dainty and gentle his voice normally was.
It was wrong.
All of a sudden, Seam found themself back in Asriel and Kris's shared room. The human happened to have still been at school for detention, sparing them from what seemed to be the hundredth petty argument turned shouting match.
Without anyone to hold, Azzy was there to absorb the brunt of the hurt.
He and Ralsei were both big criers, Seam had realized, tightening their hug and rocking the prince back and forth.
There was nothing they could say.
They knew they weren't enough back then, and with the weight of the very universe upon Ralsei's shoulder, how could they possible move the needle? Dull this torment into something remotely palatable enough to fake a smile?
Seam exhaled slowly, resting their chin between Ralsei's horns, praying the silence spoke the words they didn't have.
Words of strength.
Words of resilience.
Words of change.
These were concepts Seam had long-forgotten - ideas they hardly bothered to entertain anymore.
But as their eye briefly caught the glint of the two Shadow Crystals nestled together on a nearby shelf, something else stirred within their cotton. Though they couldn't put a name to the sensation, it lessened the weight on their shoulders.
They focused on holding the prince, guiding them through their sniffles and sobs.
The poured cups of tea had gone cold at this point. It was one inevitability out of many, not too disimilar from the Prophecy itself.
And yet, the Lightners had surprised them before.
Maybe the so-called Heroes would not be enough to change the course of fate, but Seam couldn't help but hope that's not the case.
No, hope wasn't the right word.
Eager.
They were eager to be proven wrong.
Better.
In the meantime, they kept Ralsei close, his tears still falling, and his voice becoming more and more hoarse with each shuddering sob.
Despite themself, Seam planted a gentle kiss atop his forehead, feeling his body melt, seeking further comfort. If there was one thing Seam could do at this very moment, it was to at least do their best.
They owed that to their little Azzy, wherever he is.
Whoever decided Ralsei of all people had to bear the full brunt of Forbidden Knowledge needs to lie down and think about their actions.
This fic was heavily inspired by a wonderfully heartbreaking piece of fanart by @sloshys on Tumblr! As well as her tragically sweet headcanon of Seam comforting Ralsei because his cries remind them so much of Asriel.
Hope you all enjoyed this more somber romp! It took a lot longer to finish than I thought it would. Gonna have to do another pure fluff injection to restore balance.
You sit across the table from me, as prim and proper as can be. We talk about the weather, how school is going, wondering when the next fountain will open, and where.
The tray of cakes goes untouched... are you waiting for me to make the first move? I see you stare at me over the rim of your cup, and not for the first time I wonder what you really think of me.
Would you like a cake, I offer, handing you the platter. You take the top one without a word, as if hovering over them would be rude. Or did you notice my hands tremble, the quaver in my voice? Oh, how I wish you'd take a little more care, to notice all the small things I don't dare say to you!
I pick the chocolate loaf, and you watch quietly as I bite into it. I know it's your favourite, I can see the longing in your eyes. Would you ask me to share, or are you too greedy for that? It's all or nothing with you, and oh, how I want it all...
That we could cast aside this stifling spread, dispense with this stilted dance, and discuss the deepest desires of our hearts! For another instant with you, stolen away from prying eyes, I would give my entire kingdom! To strip myself of this role, the overly-polite princeling, and confess how I really feel, and the things I really want...!
...ah, but not for me such daring plays. Too brittle, too cossetted, to break this mold. All I can do here and now is offer you another cake, discuss the humdrum of our lives, and hope one day that we shall see each other as we really are, beneath the smart veneer this world demands of us.
