#pope ben

[joeypovinellibreakingnews-blog]

POPE LEAVES THE VATICAN....IS GOD DEAD?

There is a great article in today's NYTimes about the Pope leaving the Vatican.

[daretobeholy-blog]

HAPPY BDAY POPE BENNY! <3

[nicmccool]

As the Vatican goes Green, we all go to Hell.

Thou shall not pollute the Earth. Seriously. No more driving your gas guzzling cars, or grilling out on charcoal. No more forgetting to recycle, or buying bottled water. Heaven forbid you use an aerosol can. Any of these infractions could land you straight into the fiery abyss below. Don't believe me? Ask the Pope. It seems the former Hitler Youth-enrolled Pope Benedict XVI has jumped on the Green bandwagon. Earlier today a revised listing of modern sins was released with "actions causing environmental blight" topping off the deadly deads. It seems that drug-trafficking, embryo destruction, and the occasional oil leak will all grant the sinner a one way ticket to Hell. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Okay. Enough already, we get it. The use of fossil fuels is bad, but threatening our souls to eternal damnation for not driving a Hybrid is a little extreme, don't ya think? Basically, now every time I drive to work I am in need of some major Penance. I get 9 miles to the gallon, my engine leaks oil, there is a small hole in my gas tank, and this past weekend I drove 40 miles in the snow with the throttle wide open. "Are you there God? It's me, Margaret. I'm really sorry for mucking up this Earth, but You gave me my Jeep. You blessed some creator with the ingenuity to plan out a chassis, suspension system, and tire combination that would clear 13 inches of snow without breaking a sweat. You also blessed Ohio with wide open country roads, ample amounts of playing ground, and enough precipitation for me enjoy the winter beauty You bestowed upon us. With that said, I'm not really sorry I went out and enjoyed your gifts. Maybe You should have thought it through a little better. Maybe You should have realized that we are simple minded, slightly evolved apes, who enjoy trouncing around a bit in snow. Put it this way; my dog had a blasty-blast playing outside for three hours, but he would have shat himself if he were able to jump in a lifted Jeep, take off the doors and the top, and drove, tongue wagging in the air, through every single snow bank he came across. So, God, next time you give us a gift think it through, you don't want another New Jersey on your record, now do You? Oh, and one more thing. I know you're totally against the whole cloning thing, and that's cool and all, but don't you think we could just bring back one or two smaller dinosaurs? We've all watched Jurassic Park so no one's real eager to clone one of the big fellas, but how about a tiny furry one. With a tail. That could fly. And, grab me beers while I'm watching Sunday mass on TV. I've tried to teach my dog, but he mistakes the dark beers for the light, and we all know how bad that'll ruin one's morning. So, give it some thought, Big Guy. We'd all appreciate our own Beerfetchasaurus. Amen." I spent half of my writing time today composing a letter to Pope Benedict XVI. For all those new to the world of Nic, I am Catholic. I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic schools, and attended mass each and every Sunday for over 20 years. After taking a series of religious theory classes in college I become even more interested in the history of my own faith, as well the 'leaders' of said religion. As for my own belief system I hold dearly the ideology that there is a higher power, and we are all on Earth for a specific reason, and it is our duty to live up to our expectations. I do not, however, agree at all with the majority of teachings and practices performed by the Catholic church as a whole. Looking back at the history of the church one can see that a large section of laws, bylaws, rites, etc. were put into place to appease a certain ruler, king, social change, or dated circumstance that holds no weight in modern times. (See Galileo vs The Church) Societies change, so to should the religion mold itself to the current populace. The church is supposed to be a group of persons that follow Jesus' teaching, not a walled off building in Rome governing more walled off buildings around the globe. As an example of one of the Catholic church's papal miscues I pose a simple question; Why is it that guitars are representatives of the Devil? Sounds absurd, I know, but the 'infallible' Pope Ben refuses to allow guitars in worship songs. Yet, he allows church organs, which weren't introduced until the seventh century, to be played in every mass. How is it that a particular musical instrument can become a symbol of Anti-Catholicism? To take it a step further, the Pope has also said that Rock music "is so completely antithetical to the Christian concept of redemption and freedom, indeed its exact opposite. Hence, music of this type must be excluded from the Church on principle." You can read his whole rambling, restoratively obsessed essay here. Would it not be the lyrics that should be scrutinized, and not the method in which they are delivered? If during mass I were to play a beautiful melody on a harp while singing, "I am the Antichrist/ I want to eat your children's spleens/ and pee on things that shouldn't necessarily be peed on" would you still not be offended? What if I were to pull out a trumpet, a metal guitar, and a djembe and perform "Ave Maria"? Granted some people may not like the style, they may think it's too loud, but would they really have a huge problem with the lyrics? I expect to be excommunicated very shortly. I wonder if the Celtic Reconstructionists are taking applications. "Rock [music] is the expression of elemental passions, and at rock festivals it assumes a cultic character, a form of worship, in fact, in opposition to Christian worship. " ~Pope Benedict XVI speaking out against rock music. ___________________________