I don’t want to be the social norm, skinny, I want shapely and healthy

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I don’t want to be the social norm, skinny, I want shapely and healthy
I don’t make plans anymore,
The universe has proven to me time and time again,
It’s pointless,
I am pointlessly trying for the same result,
Loneliness.
I just want to have that feeling again,
When being held by an other,
Being in just the right moment,
Tight arms wrapped,
A comforting pressure,
Auras connecting.
you truly never meant a single word, and now the third sword has set in my heart
All I can think about is getting a sternum tattoo.
If only I could say, “I think you are so fucking hot!” To bad I don’t have the guts
Having a crush….
I hope you’re accidentally thinking of me like I do you.
I hope you day dream about me,
My laugh, smile,
Because lately i have about you.
I wonder what your lips against mine create sparks,
If so where then would we go,
Farther, slower..
I catch myself day dreaming,
What if, what if, what if,
Hope these thoughts
Aren’t CRUSHED