#positive anonymous

[ranata-suzuki]

Do you believe in second chances? When two people have not spoken in over months, yet you end up being in the same room as them once a week yet you still do not talk? Only the rare occasion where your eyes happen to meet?

I do believe theuniverse gives us second chances… more than that actually… In the situation you describedyou are given at least one chance every week… But really, chance meetingsaside – every day is a chance if there’s still love there…. it’s a matter of whether or not you’re willing to take it.

I hope you don’t mind, but I started writing a reallylong reply to you and before I knew it – it kind of turned into a poem :D So Iposted it online and it will appear on my blog in a few hours time. It’s calledSecond Chances - I hope you like it. I did want to post this to reply directlyto you though as well. I suppose only you can assess the reasons it ended thefirst time to weigh up if it’s worth giving the relationship another chance…but if the love is strong enough and the person was amazing enough, they shouldbe worth the risk of being rejected or hurt by trying to win them back. Onlyyou will know the answer to that question.

[ranata-suzuki]

We broke up a little over a year ago and as much as I have tried moving on and dated other people, he is still the one I always think about. I have connected to your posts more than I have connected with anything on here before, and many of them manage to always make me cry. Do you think it's too late to try again? And would I seem totally crazy for reaching out again after all this time? We haven't spoken since the break up, even though we see each other at school almost every day.

I don’t think 1 year is too late to try again and Icertainly don’t think it’s crazy to reach out. It’s about the way you approachit… If you’re too nervous to come right out and ask, try testing the watersfirst… try starting a conversation with something along the lines of “This maysound funny but I just wanted to say that I’ve dated other people since webroke up, and while I was happy with them, I have to admit there’s somethingabout you that’s always stuck with me and from time to time I miss you. I guessI just wanted you to know you’re an amazing person and I’ve never forgotten youand you still mean a lot to me. I know I haven’t spoken to you when I’ve seenyou around, but I figured you wanted space and I respect that – but I justwanted you to know that I do still care about you, miss you and I hope you’rehappy with whatever’s going on in your life”.

See what the reaction is to that. If it’s negative you canstill save face by saying (still with a slight smile) “well I’m sorry you feelthat way, I’ll give you your space but I just wanted to tell you that becauseyou’ll always be important to me even if you don’t care about me anymore”. Thatthen looks like you were just being nice and they haven’t affected you at all.And even in your worst case scenario you can at least be proud of yourself fortrying.  If the response in neutral orhard to work out, see if you can keep the conversation going after saying that.If you can and especially if conversation goes well (preferably with somesmiles and laughter) you could ask to hang out some time – again you’re notputting yourself on the line too much and you have plausible deniability to shrugand say you meant just as friends later if it backfires on you.

Obviously if it goes well (and esp if they say similar backto you) ask if they want to watch a movie or even just ask outright if they’dever consider giving it another shot if you’re confident enough.

They key I think is the way you approach it. I know you’reNOT confident about this and you feel deeply emotional about this person – but theykey is to approach them with a happy, confident and friendly persona. Because approachingsomeone all emotion and nerves is effectively saying ‘I’ve never stoppedthinking about you, I’m lost without you, I need you, I’m obsessed with you, I’mgoing to cry right here if this doesn’t go well’… and even if the person feltthe same way as you do – that’s still a pretty full on and uncomfortablesituation to be in and a lot of people would run a mile! One the other hand, ifyou act confident, happy and casual, it’s A. not as overwhelming for the personon the receiving end   B. comes off as friendlyrather than obsessive and has plausible deniability for you if they’re notinterested    and C. Makes you seemhappy, and confident in your life and people who are happy and confident areattractive – whereas someone who’s obsessive over you and an emotional wreckisn’t attractive.

Hope some of this helps :) Thank you so much for reading andrelating to my words – it means a lot. Best of luck if you decide to go ahead:)

[ranata-suzuki]

do you believe in waiting for someone to come around if you know they're going to go through a stressful year and decided to end things with you for that reason?

Yes… and no. I think you should be true to your feelings, so if you love this person then you love them. I think you should embrace that for what it is and not try to turn it into hate or anger or something destructive to make it easier to cope with the situation.  But whilst I believe you should love them for who they are and support them if you truly value having them in your life - I also wouldn’t hinge everything on the belief that by the end of that year all that stress will magically disappear and they will come running into your arms. That may happen… but it also may not. So I would use that year to focus on becoming your own person, and gaining strength enough in yourself that you would be okay with just having them in your life as a good friend at the end of that year if it came to that.  

[ranata-suzuki]

I think your post about giving a reason why for leaving a relationship is the biggest truth you've ever expressed, and I agree more than 100%. My ex ended things with me, but he said he could not tell me the reason why because he was "simply uncomfortable" and in that moment, my heart shattered.

I’m so sorry that happened to you. I think it‘s really cruel to not give a reason as it causes someone not only the pain of the breakup - but the ongoing pain of never knowing why and constantly questioning themselves. The only reason someone won’t give a reason is because they’re avoiding an intense emotional response. They’re trying to keep it as quick and “unemotional” as possible by not going into reasons - sort of a ‘this is the way that it is and I don’t want to discuss it any further so deal with it’ kind of thing and it’s not fair. You’re entitled to know what it was that ended your own relationship and feel all the emotions that go along with it. All I can say is that a person like that isn’t emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship if they won’t do you the courtesy of ending it properly. I hope you choose to believe that if they didn’t give a reason - it clearly wasn’t a good one, so it’s probably their own shortcomings that caused the end of the relationship - not yours.  

[ranata-suzuki]

i love your blog, just discovered it today and i've already found so many pieces of writing that explain how much pain i'm going through just as i had my heart broken a month ago.. your eloquent pieces of writing express exactly how i feel, and in a way it's relieving to know there's someone out there who knows exactly how i feel and can put it into a beautiful sequence of words

Thank you do much for saying so… I feel the same way when people tell me that (less alone in the way that I feel). I’m sorry about your heartbreak… Mines been going for a little over 3 years now and I’ve been writing about it for 2 and ½. I sincerely hope your takes nowhere near that long <3 xoxo Ranata

[ranata-suzuki]

They said that I could never fly and demanded that I not try. But..I cried, I will never learn to fly unless I try. So with all my might, I leapt toward the sky and spread my wings far and wide. Until a gust of wind blew from side to side and I soared ever so high. From North to South and East to West, I flew higher than all the rest. And when my journey was complete, I landed on both my feet. For what they said could not be done, I knew in my heart that I had won. "Fly To The Sky" -Anon-

“Believe in yourself and in your dream, 

No matter how impossible it may seem 

Someday, somehow you’ll make it through 

To reach the goal you have in view. 

Mountains fall and seas divide, 

Before the one who in his stride 

Takes a hard road by day 

Sweeping obstacles away 

Believe in yourself and in your plan 

Say not “I cannot” but instead “I can” 

The prizes of life we fail to win 

When we doubt the power we have within…“

- Author unknown - 

Thanks for the poem I adored it!!!! <3    

[ranata-suzuki]

A friendly reminder that you are full of light and your words are always a delight to read when the come up on my feed. I hope you are doing well :)

Thank you, thank you THANK YOU :) :) :)  YOU have made today special… I hope you see this and smile as big as you made me smile xoxo

[ranata-suzuki]

you deserve all the happiness in the world.

:) :) ♥ You deserve all the love and positive thoughts I have to give - and I’m sending them your way now :) :) xx