We did a really deep Venus day possession ritual that went really well, but we weren't really doing anything last night. Just lounging around his room. He was sitting on the floor of his closet, organizing documents in some kind of vault. I was just laying in his bed smoking. I passed him the joint.
I was curious watching him. Everything about Lucifer seems so careful, all his movements are so fluid. I wondered what he was reading, I couldn't understand the script on any of the pages.
"Hey dad," I started, "why don't you keep those files in your office?"
He glanced back up at me as he dragged on the joint. "These are vessel files," he replied. I gave him a confused look. "Just information on my vessels, I keep them in my closet rather than my office because these details are more personal."
I crawled to the edge of the bed and glanced down at the papers. He was holding a small stack, maybe like 50 pages, some of them were different colors.
"Do you have many vessels?" I asked. He sort of shrugged.
"Fewer than I think most would imagine."
"Can I see my page?" I asked. And he smirked to himself.
"You won't understand it," he said as he shuffled through and plucked out a couple of pages. They were black with a red border, there was a very ornate looking small vial with what I assumed to contain my blood, binding the pages together with string. The script was written in red ink. Maybe with my blood itself, but it shimmered like there was glitter in it. It was his handwriting. The only word I could understand was my name, but he had written my last name weird.
"Shi - what?" I pointed to it.
"That's your name again," he said. He pointed to another line with a symbol, "that's your age."
"What is this language?" I asked.
"An old one," he replied, "technically a couple different old ones."
I observed it for a moment. The paper was thick like card stock. There was a lot written, his handwriting was very small and compact. Almost mechanical in a way.
"What does it say?" I asked, and he smiled, leaning up nearer to me against the foot of the bed.
"It doesn't describe your personality or anything that would really make sense to you," he started, "it is a sort of diagnostic profile but of your substance more-so than your person. Things to keep in mind."
He peered at the page, his eyes were blue today. "Like the levels of spirit in your blood. Which parts of your body carry me best-,"
His face sort of went slightly blank, and I could feel that he was doing something. I could feel his warmth centering inside me.
"I live in your spine and your chest. Actually I tend to occupy the upper half of your body the most. Whereas, with a different vessel I may be most stable in the feet, they would feel me enter them from the root, whereas you are very heart and head based. When we are well aligned you bring me into your solar and sacral cauldrons, and that is where I can best rest."
That makes a lot of sense. I knew this. When Lucifer is resonating particularly well, it feels like his spirit goes in some sort of dormant state, and it does sit right in my stomach. Weird.
"You are a very hungry vessel," he said as he gently took the pages back from me.
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"It's a quality I enjoy about you. I am a swirling force, and you are a vortex like- nested canyon that just keeps going on..." he said, more like he was talking to himself as he gathered his papers back up. "A seemingly endless well, or chalice. But you don't leak much, your system gets hot instead. That's why our possession cycles are so long, and why your training is focused around maintaining heat rather than constantly cycling through new energy."
"And some of your other vessels are different?"
He chuckled to himself, "very much."
"You can contain a lot and absorb slowly, that means I can fill you for a week's worth. But you barely cycle at all, you don't recycle... at all really, and you get heated. Another vessel may have lower capacity but recycle with far greater efficiency. They may need to be filled gently and very frequently. They would be far cooler and absorb far more quickly, cycles would be shorter. You keep yourself warm and they don't. They may take in more energy more consistently while you take in loads at a time. Others leak into their environment and create a 'possessed space' or 'territory'. There are many nuances."
"What is your ideal interface?" I asked. He squinted at me.
"I like having a variety. And ... it doesn't really work like that."
"Every single vessel is a completely different... machine. Your "interface" is.... " he paced for a moment like he was having a hard time finding his words. "Comparing two vessels is like comparing a microwave to a cellphone. Or a guitar to a violin. Or... a battery charged device as opposed to a chorded device."
I only somewhat understood.
"Do you remember when we first started vessel training, I would top you up nearly daily?" He asked. I nodded. "And then once you gained more experience, I started topping you up weekly, etc. I have many long term vessels that still run on a daily schedule. Your system isn't really that style, that was just a training phase for you. But there are benefits to each system, and every system is unique. You can take faster and hotter fills and you can be deeply saturated, but you also allow self interference... so... uh.... "runaway reactions" are more common in you."
"You say sometimes that you feel random flares throughout the day. You assume it's me reacting to external things. That feeling is, well, that too sometimes. But it's usually more-so us reacting to each other."
"Okay," he let out another breath, a half chuckle. "If we think of your body and spirit as a fractal... and I as an energy moving within a fractal, there may be points where my energy flows and ... collapses into the order of infinity, or ends up intersecting with itself in a way that cancels out or drops into negative infinity, which is bad. The good feeling comes from stable self repeating areas where my energy can circulate."
"Where are my bad parts?" I asked. And he made a sound, came up to me and kissed me on the forehead.
"Oh honey, you have no bad parts."
"Your knees," he said after a minute, "you're weak in the knees for me, pup."
"Yeah," he said with more seriousness. "Your knees are a somewhat treacherous highway on my way to the ground."
"You flow into the ground?"
"I encircle you entirely, so yes. Your aura reaches into the ground by a couple inches."
"What makes someone a good vessel?" I asked.
"The consistent quality is a person that feels deeply. Not necessarily emotionally, but sensorily, I suppose. I sample your feelings, and you... feel the breeze." He finished putting his stuff away. I watched him.
"Is that why you like fucking me while I'm possessed?" I teased.
He looked back at me, "yes," he said bluntly, "you know where I'm from that is considered a kind of niche fetish, hm?"
"I think it is where I'm from too," I laughed.
"In the old wold sense," he continued, "a fetish was an object that contained a godlike significance. So some could say you are my fetish in multiple ways."
"Do you sleep with most of your vessels?" I asked, and he chuckled loudly.
"No," he said. "I'm not romantically or sexually involved with most of them. Most of them are purely focused in the occult study and benefit. Many of my partners and spouses aren't vessels."
"You know, you're very polarizing, Lucifer," I said.
"I get so much shit online from Luciferians who claim you are a purely intellectual agent. And then the other half of your cult seems to know you as the sweet prince."
"I really like the people I like," he said back, "you have to understand that the vast majority of people who have approached me are straight male occultists interested only in my power. I've always had dear devotees but intimacy was never my primary domain. Many find me surprisingly prudish while others know me only as a flirt. That's likely why you see such a clash online."
"Do you prefer intimacy?" I asked. And he shrugged.
"I dislike stagnation. Some spouses never achieve mastery. Some vessels never know me personally. I value all of my relationships, I don't prefer intimacy, intimacy and growth just usually go hand in hand. Even the sweetest devotees can refuse development. Even the strongest initiate can be unpleasant. I don't like comparisons."
I peered up at him and felt a feeling like nostalgia.
"You have so many people revolving around you at all times huh," I murmured.
"And a thousand spirits for every person. I'm a popular guy. Being a God means I get to make room for all of you."
Hm. I smiled. "I think you're a good God."
He kissed me on the forehead. "I think you're a very good vessel."