#possible future ad

[nahisummerhold]

[hodur-frost]

First Love

He had forgotten....

All the time the blind god lived with him, he had thought that the man would always be there because he couldn’t imagine otherwise.

Hod had grown used to sleeping beside him, curled up in his arms, just breathing in his scent. Leather, musk and the various herbs. Sometimes there would be the scent of whatever fruit was brought as a surprise in the summer in his hair. 

Whenever the dark god’s clothes were worn, he’d take him into the nearest town and help him work through ordering his own clothing. When he had a nightmare he would always brush Hod’s long curly hair with his fingers as he sobbed into his shirt. 

Every accomplishment of his was an accomplishment for his companion. But then he was the one who taught him. How to care for animals. How to identify plants by scent. How to use them. How to kill and take care of animals for food, though naturally he left Hod to just listen.

Hod had the strength, physically at least, but his companion would always support him. Not having him deal with more pain than necessary. But if there had been something new the blind god would be interested in then he would go all in on helping him learn. It was no failure if Hod didn’t keep it up because just having something to look forward to was enough. 

Just being with him was enough...

His body was cold. Hod’s body was naturally cold but his companion had always been warm beside him... Until that day. 

Hod understood death. He had died three times already. Just not this death. Had it been so many years that they were together? When he brought the man he so cared for to the doctor, via the shadows which quite startled the midgardian doctor, the diagnosis numbed him.  old age

Had it been fifty years he had never said anything? Lethargic. He had nothing to live for. Cursed by fate. Cursed by his powers. The first cycle: An accident. The second cycle: It repeated. The third: So insane he triggered it on purpose. 

This fourth one... Once he remembered he needed to heal. He didn’t know where Baldur was. Didn’t know if his parents cared where he was. He ran to Midgard and there this man had taken him into his home. 

His companion had given him everything.... And he wasn’t sure he gave him anything. Why had he stayed with him?! The Midgardian did not have the life to spare to heal a god. To care for him so gently....Yet he had. 

Had he loved him? He wasn’t sure. They never spoke it. But Hod had loved him. He was sure he did.... But there were no do-overs for mortals. And the ache of his heart, the darkness, threatened to engulf him.

But he would not let his effort be nothing.... He would not give up. He would find a way to stop the cycle or make it better. He owed it to the one who fixed him.