Bad Poetry (Shepard x Jack, post ME3, Destroy Ending AU, Commander Nate Shepard)
Marigold- grief (flower meme) requested by
Shepard x Jack, post ME-3, an AU of the Destroy Ending where the Reapers were destroyed but the Alliance didn't find Shepard's body in the London Ruins.
Is he really dead and gone? Spoilers.
Warning: Language.
Jack sighed and sat back in the deck chair. The sun was setting over the Pacific Ocean, and threw bright sparkles over the water. Her mouth twitched into a humorless smile.
Look into the sunset and you’ll see me there.
I’m never gone, I’m everywhere.
I’m in the sun, the air you breathe,
and that is what you mean to me.
“You were always a lousy poet, you damn Boy Scout,” she murmured. “Of all those badges you earned, you missed that one, you fuckin’ idiot.”
Tomorrow marked two years. Two years since the Crucible fired, Two years since he disappeared. She remembered the transport ride to London, her heart hammering in her ribs. They had found signs of him among the ruins: his helmet, his dog tags, the twisted remains of his sniper rifle.
But not his body. Nathaniel James Shepard, the man who managed to bypass her defenses and made her believe again, he was gone. The first year, the Aliiance had officially listed him as MIA. But days ago, they changed Shepard’s status to KIA.
Jack still had hope. She knew Shepard; he was too stubborn to die. No body, no real evidence he was dead, right?
But with each passing day, Jack lost a little of that hope. Shepard was never coming back. He’s gone. He’s gave his life to save everyone. You have to let him go.
But she couldn’t. Goddamn it, he was the King of the Boy Scouts, but he was her Boy Scout. She missed his rakish smile, the bad-boy side he kept hidden from his crew, He had brought out the best in her, and she had encouraged him to (occasionally) indulge in his reckless side.
Jack didn’t notice the two tears that slid down her face. Her heart, her body ached for his touch. No crying, he wouldn’t want that.
Sounds of laughter floated on the wind, growing louder. Jack scrubbed the tears from her face, and just in time, too: the Normandy group was coming back. First and foremost was the little boy holding Uncle Kaidan’s hand. He saw Jack and rushed to her.
“Up! Up!”
She laughed and swooped him into her lap. “Had fun, Big Guy?”
Kaidan chuckled and ruffled his godson’s hair. “Yeah, he’s getting better at dog paddling. We’ll have him swimming laps in no time.”
She arched an eyebrow at him. “Really swimming this time? No biotics?”
The boy shook his head. “Really, Mama.”
“Good.” Jack reached over and peeled wet strands from his face. Her dark brown hair, her lips and ears, her fingers.
But Shepard’s deep forest-green eyes gazed up at her.
Jack smiled as she felt the grief subside a little. I’m never gone, I’m everywhere.
Yes, he was. Bad poetry aside, Jack had a reminder of him, one she always held close to her heart.
